Dear Hillary,
A few weeks ago, one of your writers asked what is the attraction of karaoke bars for Thai people? You sort of turned your nose up, but believe it or not I actually enjoy Karaoke! Problem is there are very few places that have English language songs. I know of SBI and DK but anywhere else? Seems strange that some places only have about 10 songs in English. For B.100 they could buy from almost any market, a whole VCD/DVD with loads of songs.
John

Dear John,
Each to his or her own, Petal. You might like to take the chap’s Thai GF to your next Karaoke session, and see if you still like it as much when being on the receiving end of megawatts of out of tune distorted sound.

Dear Hillary,
I was told many years ago that you shouldn’t let your wife’s family come to stay with you, even just for a few days, as it always ends up for weeks or months. I thought I was lucky because it never happened to me. Relatives might stay one or two nights, but that was it. Recently things have changed a lot now with her brother and her cousin and her mother all staying in the house with us. They all stay in the one room which I think is a bit unhealthy, and they’ve been here for three months and there’s no sign of them leaving. They are quiet and do help around the house and garden, but this wasn’t what I really expected. I asked my wife about it but she just says it’s OK and they’ll be going soon after the brother and cousin have got jobs and mother is just having a holiday. Well I wish I could have three month holidays. What’s the next move, Hillary? Enough’s enough, surely. I have a close family in the UK, but they wouldn’t come and stay for ever.
Harry the House Husband

Dear Harry the House Husband,
You are now starting to see a little of what Thai society is all about, my Petal. Family reigns supreme, and it is usual for them all to sleep in the same room. It’s not unhealthy. It is Thai. When you got married, you joined a Thai family, much more than your wife joining your UK family. After all, you married a Thai lady and chose to live in Thailand. You would have to expect that Thai culture will be dominant. You can try voicing your reluctance to have them there, but be prepared for difficulties. This is your wife’s immediate family. You can always try to find them jobs - in a far away city. Lots of luck!
Dear Hillary,
I have come over here on holiday from the UK and I am shocked by what I see here, going on night and day. I can put up with the endless beer bars with young women trying to get people to sit down and drink. I can put up with the fact there are go-go bars with women displaying their bodies as some sort of tourist attraction, but I cannot put up with the way old foreign men walk around with barely teenage Thai girls hanging on to their arm. They all have such smug looks on their faces with a ‘Look at me, aren’t I clever’ expression. Don’t they know, or doesn’t anybody tell them that they are just being taken for a ride? They’re not clever. It’s disgusting.
Angela

Dear Angela,
When you say “They all have such smug looks on their faces with a ‘Look at me, aren’t I clever’ expression” are you referring to the old foreign men, or the barely teenage girls, Petal? Honestly my Petal, this can be applied to both of them. They are smiling because they have found themselves in a situation which is good for them. The young girls have found a financial ‘sponsor’, whilst the old foreign men have found themselves a gorgeous young thing who will take care of their every need. So just what is so wrong with that, Petal? It is a win-win situation, so no need to be shocked. Can the retirees get a deal like that back home in their own countries? Simple answer - No!

Dear Hillary,
What is the situation with Thai law when you split from a live-in girlfriend? Does she have any legal rights to your property, cars, houses and such? I’ve been with this girl for about a year, but it’s time to change, but she’s already got the hand out and wants the house and the car. Hand them over, or tough it out? What is your advice?
Jack

Dear Jack,
You are asking the wrong person, Petal. This is Hillary, with heart balm for those injured in love, not a lawyer specializing in marital problems, even though some days it seems like it. However, I would imagine that the crux of the matter hinges on whose name is on the ownership documents. Foreigners cannot own houses in Thailand in their own names, so many just put the house in the girlfriend’s name, which is not such a smart move if there is a break-up. See a lawyer.