Dear Hillary,
Another lamb to the slaughter. Saw an older foreigner here, with the rental car and the young Thai girl, being propelled to the ATM to get some more readies out before the visit to the village to meet the girl’s parents, where the readies will be used for some celebration in the village, fuelled by Lao Khao and sticky rice. Probably even a whirlwind wedding where the poor sap things he’s married the village virgin. Can’t you put a stop to this charade, Hillary?
Ben

Dear Ben,
You’ve got the wrong female here, my Petal. Hillary does not have that sort of power. You should have sent your letter to PM Yingluck, not to me. However, since the village weddings and parties are part of the financial influx to the local economy, I don’t think you’d get much support there either. And before you point too many fingers, just what did you do on the first trip to Thailand? Remember?

Dear Hillary,
At least I haven’t lost my shirt this time - I must be getting smarter in my old age, eh? But the latest Thai GF marched out last week, trying to take everything, but with nothing left in her name, went empty handed. This is the third time this has happened (third time lucky, eh?) and really puts me off having any relationship with these girls here. Any suggestions, Hillary?
Jeff

Dear Jeff,
You seem to have a fundamental flaw in your search for a mate, my Petal. As far as your previous relationships are concerned, remember for many of these girls, landing a foreigner is like winning the lottery! A successful partnership is not the result of a bar fine and a short time hotel. You have to stop searching and let Miss Right come to you. She will know that you are the person she would like to be with, and you will also know that she is the right person for you. You will have been able to discuss finances and other matters long before ‘moving in’ happens. Settle back and relax, Jeff, and don’t try to push the relationship.

Dear Hillary,
I never realized I was smart until I came to Thailand two years ago. Let me explain why. I have always used my common senses back home and here in Thailand and I never had any problems but to many farangs (foreigners), they just can’t help themselves. Thailand receives the world’s biggest jackasses and fools and every week I see or hear about some farangs who gets into some problems with bar girls or Thais and complains and cries about everything and everybody here. I’m tired of these fools and jackasses bad mouthing Thais and Thailand. If they don’t like it GO HOME and stay there. Why do we get so many ugly, foolish, ignorant, disgusting farangs who makes us all look bad in front of Thai people?
Happy Camper

Dear Happy Camper,
You don’t sound all that happy to me, Petal, your letter is full of grumps and grouches. I agree that there are many foreigners who don’t seem to use much common sense (why is it called ‘common’ when there’s so little of it around?), but I think you are overstepping the mark when you start painting your jackasses and fools as being “ugly” and “disgusting”. I also agree that there is nothing to be gained by foreigners when they start bad mouthing Thais and Thailand, and you do have to wonder why they left their own countries in the first place. There can be many reasons I believe, and not all of them are lawful! Of course it is not too difficult to see why some of these people become cannon fodder for the sharp-shooters in the bars. It must be difficult to survive the “Buy me cola, darling” when all they are used to in their home countries are women who want to put them down all the time. “What are you looking at,” being a standard western woman’s response to a bright appreciative smile. Perhaps you should be producing a lapel button which says “Don’t complain to me - I like it here!” Finally, don’t let the idiots spoil it for you. You don’t have to drink in bar beers, and if you take the effort to learn the language, then you don’t have to talk to the foreigners either, as there are 60 million Thai people out there who would like to know about you and your country of origin.

Dear Hillary,
I often read your column and I just don’t understand why all these negative experiences. Since I’ve been traveling, my favorite by far is Thailand. Since the first time, I have loved the people, atmosphere, weather, food, and the cold beer. Right now, I cannot wait to return and have another wonderful vacation. It blows my mind that so many people appear to have had a bad experience. I think they would have a bad time anywhere... why travel?
Itching to get back!

Dear Itching,
I agree with you, Petal. I do believe that most of the people who have a negative experiences have brought it upon themselves.