Dear Hillary,
Why do Thai people sleep a lot? My Thai wife and her cousins who stay with us will sleep right the way through to mid morning, long after I have left for work. Night is a different story as they will chatter on until all hours, and long after I go to bed. Is this the usual, or do I have a bunch of sleepy heads in the house?
George

Dear George,
The answer is staring you in the face. They go to sleep late, so wake up late. You go to bed early so wake up early. Everyone needs around 6-8 hours of sleep. Suggest you talk it over with your wife and perhaps tell her that you expect her to make your breakfast each day. That way she will have to get up early. Or you leave the house hungry. I think you need to talk to your wife, but wait till she is fully awake. OK?

Dear Hillary,
My Mother in England has spent many times in prison over the years for shoplifting. She is in prison at present but will be released soon. My brother has also spent long periods in prison for car theft and robbery. He is in prison at the moment also. My sister works as a prostitute but seems to be doing well moneywise. My father is a chronic alcoholic. Do you think I should tell my Thai girlfriend that I am a Conservative?
Les

Dear Les,
Unless she has been to England, she won’t know what being a “Conservative” means! So don’t bother, my Petal. However, perhaps your sister might like your girlfriend as a partner in the business and you can graduate to being a pimp.

Dear Hillary,
I have a nice relationship with my Thai girlfriend, even though I only get to see her for about two times four weeks every year on my holidays. We set up a condo together (it’s in my name, no worries) and she seems happy enough there, though I am a little worried by the amount she tells me she spends every month. She has a good job as a secretary and should be able to live on what she earns, but every month she needs about another 40-50,000 baht from me to keep going. The money she tells me is for maintenance of the condo, then her mother who looks after her two kids up country needs money, then the phone bills seem astronomical, and on and on and on. I enjoy my times over there, but I am starting to think that maybe I’m getting ripped off somewhere down the line. Do you think I am?
James

Dear James,
It is not really possible for me to say yes or no from the sketchy details you have sent me, but 50,000 baht on top of her wages in a rent-free condo does seem rather excessive. I think it is about time you considered saying “No” to the requests? What would she do then? Then there is the other fact, that just because she has rent-free accommodation, does not mean in her mind that she owes you her life. You are only prepared to be there for her for two months a year, and that is all. This does not appear to be a life-long commitment, does it? The condo is not in her name, and actually you could kick her out at any time. Agreed? She has no security, from a guy she sees twice a year, and who sends money. Where does that put the relationship? There seems to be a misguided impression out there that by throwing some money in a Thai girl’s lap this means you have some gorgeous girl now yours, and faithful forever. Commitment comes with that magic ingredient called “love” and best with a capital L. Thai girls are just as emotionally needy and looking for a committed partner as girls in your home country, but smile more readily. Two months in 12 is not a relationship with any depth, Petal. You have been fooling yourself I am afraid.

Dear Hillary,
My best mate has just broken up with his Thai girlfriend. They had been together for just a few months. She says she wants to move in with me, but I don’t want to hurt my mate (we go on the town together every Friday night) and I’m just not sure about her. Mate says she’s a gold digger and says he tossed her out because of it. She says she left him because he was stingy, but more than that she wanted to be with me. I’m really confused by all this. Which one should I believe? Will it be too risky to let her move in?
Bob’s Mate

Dear Bob’s Mate,
What sort of “mate” are you, Petal? You describe the guy as one of your “best mates” who you go drinking with once a week, but you don’t trust him enough to believe him when he speaks of his ex. Go into this relationship and you will lose your “best mate”, as well as your money. Far too risky for you, Petal. Stick with one night stands until you are a little older (and wiser).