Dear Hillary,
I do feel very sorry for your friend, George. I’m in a similar situation too. I was shocked when I discovered that my girlfriend, who I thought was faithful to me after going with me for nearly a year, had a boyfriend on the side for many months and I didn’t have a clue about it. I worked in a neighboring country and saw her every few weeks for a few days. In between she was seeing the other man, and although we were in contact a few times every day, she somehow could give me the impression that everything was fine. She could even fly to another country to meet that guy for a few days each time. It was so surreal. When I discovered it, she promised to cut off all contact with him, and to give her one more chance. But she never did. There were still some secret messages although she never met him again. But the trust was gone. Even recently I suspect although I cannot prove it, that they are still in contact. I’m still with her, but I cannot really trust her completely even now. I don’t know what to do either. This is a case of cheating me too many times, and it’s really shame on me. If I ever discover her indiscretion one more time, I will walk out. Definitely

Dear Definitely,
You are not in a good situation, my Petal. You are going to have to work out whether you are continuing in this relationship because it means a lot to you, or whether it is just too much trouble to look for somebody new. Your relationship is not very long either at about a year, and the other chap was just a few months. It would seem to me that there is a financial aspect to all this, and you may be subsidizing the other fellow, or perhaps even the other way round. Who paid for the plane fares, for example? I would suggest extreme caution, Petal. I think you haven’t sat down with your cheating lady and thrashed all this out, especially since you think they may still be in contact with each other. Don’t be played for a sucker. I would suggest you put on your walking boots.

Hi Hillary,
Re “Taking Out Insurance” a couple of weeks ago. This is a good story and quite entertaining if it wasn’t so real for many foreigners. I myself was entertaining the idea to burn down or bulldoze my house (her house) down. But I never got the timing right and anyway I have no insurance, so I let her be. But what amazes me about my former fiancée Darling, that after all her cheating she comes happily back to me, announcing that I am her real King and wants to get married right away. But with the marriage she wants a bigger house, 10 rai, a pick up truck, gold and a healthy bank balance. Of course I agreed with her reasonable requests and told her we getting married on the moon.
Vern

Dear Vern,
It is all a bit of a lottery, isn’t it. Now may not be the time to buy a ticket, Petal. However, you do sound a bit like the chicken stuffed for Sunday roast. You have not been fully plucked yet. I look forward to your Moon in June wedding, please send me an invitation and the flight ticket.

Dear Hillary,
I never realized I was smart until I came to Thailand two years ago. I have always used my common senses in Thailand and I never had any problems. But Thailand receives the world’s biggest jackasses and fools and every week I see or hear about some farangs who gets into some problems with bar girls and cry about everything and everybody here. I’m tired of these fools and jackasses bad mouthing Thais and Thailand. If they don’t like it GO HOME and stay there.
Happy Camper

Dear Happy Camper,
You don’t sound all that happy to me, Petal, your letter is full of grumps and grouches. I agree that there are many foreigners who don’t seem to use much common sense (why is it called ‘common’ when there’s so little of it around.) I also agree that there is nothing to be gained by foreigners when they start bad mouthing Thais and Thailand, and you do have to wonder why they left their own countries in the first place. There can be many reasons I believe, and not all of them are lawful! Of course it is not too difficult to see why some of these people become cannon fodder for the sharp-shooters in the bars. It must be difficult to survive the “Buy me cola, darling” when all they are used to in their home countries are women who want to put them down all the time. “What are you looking at,” being a standard western woman’s response to a bright appreciative smile. Perhaps you should be producing a lapel button which says “Don’t complain to me - I like it here!”