Dear Hillary,
Need your help with the family buffalo. I have been getting along fine with a Thai girl I met last October. I met her when I was over on holidays and we have been emailing each week. I also send her some money, not much, but 30,000 THB should be enough to keep her happy. This month I was given a new request regarding money for the family buffalo up-country. I have read that this is a scam, but I don’t want to disbelieve her. Should I ask for a copy of the bill from the vet? I don’t want to upset her, but am not sure.
Jack

Dear Jack,
Here you are sending 30,000 baht a month to someone you met eight weeks ago. You must have “sucker” tattooed on your forehead. Come on, Jack, be real. Of course this is a scam. If the buffalo is that sick, let her pay the vet’s bills from the “salary” you send her each month.

Dear Hillary,
So I miss spelt a couple of names: you can call it quits if you want: actually you can do whatever you like, it’s your column. You can do whatever you like that is, except to convince me that your figure of 85 percent (reply to James) of all Thai foreigner marriages, are between foreigners and processional (sic) Thai’s, is anything but an overindulgence of the Yuletide spirit. Unless of course there is relatively little difference between Professional Thai women and the sex workers that frequent the bars. I have only ever had experience of one Thai woman, who without doubt came from the ‘professional classes,’ and she exhibited all the same characteristics of the ‘bar girl’: an obsession with money and what it was spent on, jealousy, a stubborn refusal to improve her English (despite being widowed by a young Englishman, and having lived in England for several years), an aversion to all cuisine except Thai and an inclination to laziness; the main differences were that she didn’t have tattoos, didn’t smoke or drink. Isn’t it the case Hillary, that all Thai women are fundamentally alike, and the individual characteristics are just fashioned by circumstance?
Happy New Year,
Johnny Foreigner.

Dear Johnny Foreigner,
With as much respect as I can muster, please try reading James letter again. He is a man happy with his marriage to a Thai woman, but voiced the opinion that 85 percent of marriages to Thai women were by sex tourists. I replied, “Where did you get that figure of 85 percent of Thai-foreigner marriages are between bar girls and what you call ‘sex tourists’? Let me assure you that “sex tourists” do not come to Thailand to get married.”
You then go on to say that all Thai women are just the same as the bar girls, and your opinion comes from your “experience of one Thai woman.” Come on Johnny! You met one Thai woman, made up your mind, and so all Thai women are the same. Please re-think that statement, and be a little more polite in your letters in future, which is why I cut out some of your more colorful language. And, a Happy New Year to you too, Johnny.

Dear Hillary,
What do you think of the current smart-phone craze? Everywhere you go you see young people tapping away on their phones instead of talking to each other in person. I have seen four girls at a table, none talking to the others, but all studying their phones instead. I have heard of women (they seem the worst) sending messages to their friends instead of just ringing them up. Is this just a passing fad or is it going to be worse?
Gerald

Dear Gerald,
The age of the “social media” is upon us, Petal, and there’s nothing you or I could do about it. I have heard it described as the “anti-social media” and your description of the girls at a table fits that idea very well. The old saying “If you can’t beat them, join them” comes to mind. I honestly believe that there will be a swing back towards people talking to each other in the flesh again. The smartphone is the current “new thing”, but there will be something else just as diabolical in its place, I am sure. “Virtual handshakes” perhaps followed by “virtual gropes” or worse! I eagerly await these new developments!

Dear Hillary,
I just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year and to let you know I will bring some more bubbles over with me when I come back to Thailand in June. It annoys me when people attack you personally, Hillary. I don’t agree with your comments every time, but there’s no need to be doggone rude over it.
Joshua

Dear Joshua,
I just wish all of the people who write to me for advice were as nice as you, Josh. I remember you sending me a lovely bottle of bubbles last year, which I enjoyed very much. True gentlemen are very hard to find these days, so you are a breath of fresh air (something that is hard to find in Pattaya these days, with all the tourist buses).