Dear Hillary,
I have been with my Thai partner now for one and a half years and we are both very happy. I read your column every week and over the last few weeks I have noticed how many people write about not meeting “Nice Girls”. My lady has six friends who are interested in meeting any kind gentlemen. They are all working ladies (not bar girls) and their ages are from 30 to 48 years of age. If anybody is interested please get in touch with me and I will send the information to them. Thank you for your help.
Matchmaker

Dear Matchmaker,
Thank you for your letter, and I do believe you and your partner’s friends are sincere in your wish to help/meet kind gentlemen, and be a helping hand. However, this column is not a dating agency - for many reasons. I cannot vouch for the men who may answer your letter - are they all really “kind gentlemen” - as I cannot vet them, I cannot give that guarantee. Are all the ladies, as you would suggest by your letter, not people out to make some money from unsuspecting farangs? Again I cannot vouch for your partner’s friends either. So I hope you can see that it would be wrong of me to become the intermediary or ‘match-maker’. What your letter does do, is to show that there are many nice girls out there, and I would suggest that perhaps you and your partner and her friends should attend some farang functions, like the expats’ clubs, or the chambers of commerce, and meet the kind of gentlemen they are looking for at those type of events.

Dear Hillary,
What is the situation here as far as dowries is concerned. I have been living with this girl I met in the local bar for a few weeks and I have been up to her home town to meet her folks, and they seem to be OK sort of people. Her mother looks after her child from a previous marriage. My girl is now saying that her parents expect us now to get married and we must go back to her village for the ceremony, and that I should pay the dowry for her as well as paying for the monks and the marriage ceremony and party. I asked her how much did they expect and she tells me around 200,000 baht will cover everything. Honestly Hillary, that is a lot of money, being a bit short of 4,000 pounds, and I don’t know that I really want to go through this at that sort of money. I understand this may be the custom out here, but I want your opinion on it.
Jimmy

Dear Jimmy,
Dowries are still expected in some regions of Thailand, but 200,000 baht is a bit steep for a blushing bride you met in a bar, who has been married before and already has one child being looked after by her mother. Are there any others hiding round the corner? Any contract of marriage should not be entered into when there are doubts, and you are certainly showing more than a few doubts (not that I blame you). You do not say how long you have been in Thailand, but I get the feeling you are a newcomer. A ‘real’ marriage, which is recognized in both Thai law and the UK, is not the one in the village, but is done at the local amphur office. You asked for my opinion, Petal, and here it is - run!

Dear Hillary,
I would like to invite one of the girls from my work to go to dinner, but I am unsure of the way to go about it in Thailand. She is very reserved, and I am told she comes from a “good” family. Should I offer to have someone as a chaperone? Or is this not necessary these days?
Andrew

Dear Andrew,
Goodness me! There are some old-style gentlemen left in this world! Honestly, my Petal, most educated Thai women are quite emancipated these days, but if you want to be very politically correct, I would suggest you just ask her if she would have dinner with you next Thursday night, and if she would like to bring a friend, that is quite alright by you. If she turns you down, I will keep Thursday night free, as long as there is French champagne on the menu!

Dear Hillary,
Why do the Thai girls all wear those molded plastic bras that look like two dumplings attached to the front of their chests? It is obvious that the lumps don’t belong to them, but come from the bra shop. I’m like a lot of guys and like a nice pair on a girl, but real ones, not plastic ones, please.
Tom the T-man

Dear Tom the T-man,
I presume you mean Tom the Toyman, you naughty little Petal! Since Thai girls were standing behind the door when the chests were given out (the Russian ladies made it to the front row), we have to do something to catch the eye of Toymen like you, Tom. So you have discovered our secret. Don’t tell everyone, that’s a good boy.