Dear Hillary,
Not being a cheap Charlie I pay for distance covered (on the baht bus). 10 B should get you from Pattaya Thai to Tops super market, and you can stretch it out to Big C hand the driver B. 10 and walk away, but if you are that stingy you deserve to be ignored next time you wave a cab down. I have never had trouble when handing a B. 20 note over for a reasonable short trip and said “Kor Hi Sip Baht Khup.”
Sean

Dear Sean,
Thank you for replying to my query as to how far you can go in a baht bus for B. 10. I think you are correct, and with the price of everything going up these days, the baht bus driver is also looking at an increased weekly spend in the markets for groceries, so be fair, is my answer.

Dear Hillary,
I am thinking of having an affair with one of the girls at work. She is obviously up for it and gives me all the right signals, but is discreet enough, so that nobody has guessed that we have sneaked away for some fun and excitement. Only problem is that I have a live-in Thai GF and even though she seems OK with me going out on my own which I do a couple of times a week, I don’t know just how she would take it if she found I was with another woman. Your understanding of this type of thing is much better than mine - I don’t even understand western women, let alone Thai ones!
Living on the edge
Dear Living on the edge,
Have you ever heard the phrase ‘Cut it off and feed it to the ducks’? It happens frequently, Petal, and I’ll leave you to guess just what “it” is. You can always get the duck to cough it up, or make it into a duck stew, but Thai women have even more inventive methods of disposing of the “it” which has been visiting where “it” shouldn’t. The vegetable food processor makes it all pretty final. So if you want to run the risk of having to sit down to wee wee, just keep going. Lots of luck in finding “it”.

Dear Hillary,
I think I am being ripped off. My Thai wife has recently started to ask me for more money than she normally gets for housekeeping and the monthly wage I give her. It was just a few hundred baht here and there to start with, but now she needs thousands at a time. When I ask her why she needs the extra she gets sulky and when I really push her for an answer the best I get is “for family - you farang no understand.” Hillary, is there something here that I should understand, or what? I am getting very tired of the continual cash hand-outs.
Matt

Dear ATM Matt,
It sounds like there is lots you don’t understand. “Family” is important to a Thai and is one of the strongest bonds for the individuals in that family. Family keeps them together, family gets them over problems of all types, financial and otherwise. Your girlfriend may be returning money borrowed from before, or may also be helping her brother/mother/father/cousin (delete that which is not applicable) out of a jam. And on the other hand, she may be gambling with it, another very common Thai pastime. You really have to start communicating better with your girlfriend, Petal, if you want to know where the money goes. If she is the money manager for the household, sit down each week and discuss the family budget. If you do this in a non-threatening way, then you will find out where the money goes. If it ends up in sulkiness or accusations, then it is time to review the entire relationship and handle the housekeeping yourself. I also note you are paying her a “wage”. What is that for, Marc? Is she a wife or a “mia chow” (rented wife)? To me, your relationship seems to be based only on money, which is never a long-term basis. Time to review everything, my Petal.

Dear Hillary,
I read all these tales of woe that your letter writers send to you about losing money and getting ripped off. Is it really that bad in Thailand? Surely there are some good ones, or are they all on the make? Do you know how many marriages to bar girls fail? Can’t be ‘all’ of them, can it? I’ve met so many great girls on my holidays each year and I can’t believe that they would be anything other than great wives for some lucky guys. What is the real situation?
Scottish John

Dear Scottish John,
Even in your highlands ‘mixed’ marriages fail, and that’s just marriages between men and women. Now look at the marriages you want to examine - the love sick visitor and the hardened professional girl behind the bar. One has been convinced that this is the marriage made in heaven. Besotted Billy just wants the ring on her finger, while business girl Bee can’t wait to investigate a joint bank account. She is in the banking business, Gary. This marriage lasts as long as the bank accounts.