Dear Hillary,

Noting some of your writers are worried about their partners straying, I have the answer for them. If you really find the love of your life, (or lust of it), and want to insure she will NEVER stray, do the usual. Supply adequate funds for her personal use but ... to insure “till death do us part”, contact a lawyer with her present, draw up a overly generous will, leaving her so much her breasts will expand just hearing the amount - with the stipulation she must be in habitation/co habitation with you for the 10 years prior to your passing. She will, overnight shed all bad habits, manually fan your sweaty brow and perform nothing but pleasurable acts upon your person.
Don

Dear Don,
You are a prolific correspondent, aren’t you, my Petal. And you have the answer for everything it would seem. Your proposal ‘could’ work, but I doubt that this would continue to work after the first 24 hours. We Thai ladies are not known for looking very far ahead. There is also the problem that she might tell her friends of the future windfall and they might suggest helping you come to your passing a little earlier than you planned. It’s been done before! For that reason, I cannot swing my wholehearted support behind your scheme. Sorry.

Dear Hillary,
In many Thai homes and businesses, removing your footwear is required and, in my home, removal of all clothing is mandatory! I really like naked women. Even the maids enjoy the freedom of movement and admiring glances! People aren’t born with clothes so this is a semi religious ceremony. Men are excluded! C’mon over, my fridge has only champagne and chocolates in it.
Naked Norman

Dear Naked Norman,
What an offer! A fridge full of champagne and chocolates just waiting for Hillary, as long as I join the semi religious nude group that you are running. I am not sure that is such a good idea, as at least one of us is going to be disappointed. For example, you did not say where the chocolates came from, and not a mention of which vineyard or vintage of the champagne. No, that’s really too much of a risk for me to take, Norman.

Dear Hillary,
Seems that many of the men who write in to you for advice, don’t really want your help, all they want to do is to show off that they have young wives. Many of them say they pay their wife a salary each month, which makes me say they haven’t got a husband/wife relationship. Husbands don’t pay their wives to stay with them, surely? Or have I got it all wrong?
Harry the Husband

Dear Harry the Husband,
I’m not sure I know what you mean? Are you in the situation of being asked for money (or a salary) by your wife, or what? The examples you bring up are very common in Thailand, with these girls being called “mia chow” (or “rented” wives). This is very different from the western marriages, but is totally acceptable in Thailand (and in fact all of SE Asia). If you are being asked for money (salary) by your GF, then it is up to you what happens. Relationships are easy to get into in Thailand, but there is always a cost, one way or another.

Dear Hillary,
A friend who has been to Thailand put me on to your website. I have been reading your column on dating and have enjoyed it very much. As I am going to be there in December for the first time I am writing. It seems that everyone I ask (single men like myself) talk about being at the bars as the way to meet the working women of Thailand. While I realize this is not the only way I do have a question. If one is not a big drinker will I offend if I do not drink a lot or wish to leave to go see music, movies or see the country.
James

Dear James,
I can assure you that the ladies from the bars have not the slightest interest in how much ‘you’ drink, only in how much ‘they’ drink, while you are paying of course! This is because they receive a percentage of the cost of the ‘lady drinks’, while they get nothing from the price of your drinks. This is how they make money, as they are ‘working’ women, getting their monthly salaries in many ways. It works like this, since you have not been here before, Petal. They generally receive a small wage (or retainer), and then their lady drinks percentage plus a percentage of the so-called ‘bar fine’ which is what the punters (like you) pay for the honor and glory of taking one of the blushing young ladies away from the bar to see music, movies or the country. Anything else is a private arrangement between the lady and the customer, as you have to realize that there is no prostitution in Thailand, because the statutes say so. And the statute books have said so since about 1966. While you are paying for things, you will not offend, James.