| A day in the
life at the Pattaya Mail
“ Excuse me, you want to advertise for a life partner? Sorry, the Pattaya Mail doesn’t provide that service. But if you’re looking for some one nice, there is one person available!” Chanpen, our fiery yet very friendly receptionist who answers all questions and gives suggestions to our walk-in customers on how to place their ads. As soon as the customer says thank you and reluctantly peels himself away and walks out the door, Manin, our burly co-receptionist and village Romeo jumps in to say, “be careful or you’ll crush my heart.”The chaos begins each day around 9 a.m. as staff rush to clock in for work, looking forward to ‘the longest day’ of their lives. They race against the clock so as not to punch in late, made obvious by the red print on their time cards. However, that is never to be. They like the evening clock-out much more as the print is in black. Why this phenomenon? Well legend has it that our colleagues believe that black is the colour of sorrow and red is the colour of happiness. So it’s better to have the happy colour on their time cards! Hmm... I think I’ll have to talk to the management to switch colours in the time clock. After clocking in, everyone races off to their respective workstations in their offices. So what happens in a day at the Pattaya Mail? Yes! It’s Tuesday again - the sounds of joy of our night owls, especially King, the biggest night owl of them all (never gets to bed until the wee hours of the morning). He and his team Ton, Tong, Nok, Ooy, Tueng and Chon dance for joy. They are the computer graphics guys and gals who think they work in Norway, where the sun doesn’t set for months (they don’t see the sunset nor the outside world for the same length of time). So to get a sense of the great outdoors, their office is decorated with birds and flowers on the walls, trees and landscapes on their screensavers. “12 years this year,” the biggest night owl says, “the Pattaya Mail should hold a company sporting event like no other, a huge dinner so we know what the real world is like on the outside. Will the management consider it?” “This week we’ll form a Pattaya Mail football team and enter into the Premier League ... ready to contend or not?” Tony, director of sales and marketing and favourite Pattaya emcee - a man whose laugh is one of a kind (perhaps kids should learn this) - is asked if he’d like to be an honorary player in the team this year. He hasn’t answered yet. However, our football team, which was actually formed earlier this year comprising of the Ronaldos and the Beckhams, has lost terribly, breaking all records. “This is the 12th anniversary of the Pattaya Mail, we can’t lose.” I think its a loooong time coming! More pressure for us, but never mind, we are supermen. The Pattaya Mail messengers Big 1, Big 2, Narit, Thep and finally the big boy, and I mean really big, Manat, who has worked in almost every department in the company and now works in the distribution department says, “I don’t want to boast, hah, but if we are truly as good as we say, we could very well play for the national team. This year we promise not to lose more than a baker’s dozen games.” “I’m feeling a little stressed and not sure what to do,” says Aunty Taew, head of accounting, looking pensive. Umm ... Aunty Taew has something that worries her – or is it just her motherly nature. “What can we do to help, is there anything you need? Don’t get too worried, you know its not good for you health.” She continues to brood. “I don’t know just what to do,” she says. “I have to take this medicine everyday to reduce my beauty, but it doesn’t work. Uncle Nop (her husband) still compliments me everyday that I am very beautiful! Hah? I’ll have to reduce the dosage, since it doesn’t work.” Aunty Taew’s problem seems as if it is a national issue. (Note to self: talk to those in charge on the national level immediately.) As I turn around in the accounting office I see Aunty Taew’s assistant, Tuey. A girl with a pink heart, an aura that shines with love, busily working away on the accounts and enjoying her work. Now that’s something to be envious of. Then there’s Meow, chief assistant accountant, a lifer, she has been with the Pattaya Mail since the beginning, 12 years. She’s like a monument, but no, if you scratch her skin you won’t see a lucky lottery number underneath. And now to the company’s everything man, handyman, driver, newspaper deliverer, anything that needs repairing or fixing it’s Pui. From a toothpick to a battleship, he’ll get one for you. “Relax, Jai yen yen everyone. This function is going to be busy and loaded. Make sure you check the lights, cameras, batteries and microphone and get them ready. There’s also an interview, make sure you get there before time ... ‘cause if you don’t Doctor Iain is going to give you a bollocking.” Those words, with an underlying tone of excitement and urgency come from Korn, general supervisor of most things. We should get together and buy him some pills to reduce his incessant excitement. But things have become easier since Montree, a.k.a. Pu, a young reporter with plenty of energy and zeal, joined our team. His slogan is, “Don’t worry, I’ll arrange it.” These words strike fear into us because those words don’t match his deeds as he always forgets something. We can only hope that he improves. On-on Pu, you’ll get there. Pu’s well-known trainer Eakachai, cameraman extraordinaire, reminds him constantly, “Whatever you see, make sure you tell me.” Words from a student who was educated outside - the city that is. Whatever he says is (not) clear but the scariest fact is that Eak is aiming to become captain of the Pattaya Mail football team this year. He’s also trying to get into the good books with Tuk, our favourite housekeeper because we know he wants special privileges to start lunch before everyone else - he does - and he’s always the last one to be full and leave. Not yet! I haven’t finished with the newsroom yet. Let me introduce to you, ‘the terrible twins’, Decha and Ariyawat. From the moment you see them they will strike a dance pose like no one has ever seen. They never ask for tips, slow or fast music, they’ll dance to the lot. Sure, go ahead and dance, but make sure there’s a show at this year’s staff party, “Sure, no problem!” Then there are the three new girls, Narisa, Vimolrat and Chatchanun. All behind the camera, they never have a pun or joke of their own but play on the words of others - now that’s taking advantage - never mind, this year the Pattaya Mail will not only have a football team but a troupe of comedians, with Fon, now confused as to what her real job description is, as troupe manager. Can’t forget Boonlua with his wicked outbursts and vivid descriptions in his D&D (death and destruction) stories. This is really a colourfully wacky department.
Hiding away somewhere in the attic is the international crew. They are rarely seen except when its time for lunch before disappearing again. This includes ‘Loong’ (uncle) Peter Nordhues and Thomas. As for Brendan and Elfi, they are the regular foundations of the foreign news sections and are seen regularly. Oh, in the evenings there’s Dan, executive editor of the foreign news department, who we only see when the sun goes down and always says good morning, followed by his mantra, “Life is Good!” (Cheewit Dee khrap) This year Pattaya Mail TV has blossomed into a new era and now has a new crew that includes Sue, Prince and Ben, working feverishly to improve the programming for Pattaya Mail on TV. Decha is also a part of this team, and works hard to the point where he has no time for bizarre dance poses - but he has whispered in my ear that he still loves to dance. So you see, we’re a happy bunch with lots of idiosyncrasies and exciting tales, and that’s in just one day. We love to play, but when it comes time to work, we give it our all. This is a complete team of people that is working together to make our company better and stronger. We realize that we are just a small part of this awesome machinery, which we call our family. We are all like the vital parts of a person where one cannot be without the other. Twelve years of hard work, everyone aiming to make things better, regardless, setting our sights for the next 10, 20 or 30 years ahead. We would all like to see Peter (our boss, brother and father) reduce his stress levels along with the piles of documents on his desk. But most of all, we want him to reduce his scolding. He scares the living daylights out of all of us when he does that. Other than that, we love him dearly. Oh, in case you were wondering if I left someone out, that would be me, the writer. I can’t very well write about myself can I? Because I’m the sweetest of them all. Cheewit Dee Kha. |
As
we move upstairs, you’ll see more girls at work. Jaem and Pern are the
lovely operators and sales girls who have the sweetest voices that will
melt any caller’s heart. They persevere despite working late and in
confusing conditions sometimes. You girls have to discuss this with Poo
yourselves, ‘cause she loves to work late, to make sure that everything
has been done properly.