Dear Hillary,
First I would like to describe myself: I am a man in his so called best years, a little bit over middle age, from Denmark. I have lived in Thailand for over one year and I have found myself a nice girlfriend. Of course she is about 20 years younger than I am, but we do have a very nice and loving relationship. She was working in a bar in Soi 2 when I met her. After a few months, I asked her to quit her job and stay with me. To tell you the truth I was getting tired of waiting to see if she would have time for me or not. Since she is very beautiful, with long black hair and not so skinny as all the other girls around here, she has had a lot of old “boyfriends” to take care of when they came for vacation. You might understand that something like this will hurt the feelings of a real man.
We have been together for almost 6 months and we could be really happy. I get enough money from Europe (pension) to support the two of us. I do spoil my girlfriend by bringing her surprise presents and I usually do all the cleaning in our house.
Many times she goes and visits her girlfriends and former colleagues. I have nothing against that, but it seems that she is talking to them about our private life. Not only that, she will tell them everything about what we are doing together, especially in bed. They are all informed about my very private parts, the size a.s.o. They know exactly when I am making love to my girlfriend, how often and - very embarrassing - if I am be able to or not.
A few of those girls made jokes about it in front of a few other friends and my girlfriend is the worse by doing so. She will laugh and joke about it and tell them even more. As soon as we come home, I will be angry with her, but she will tell me that: “There is nothing wrong about it, honey. Everybody know you not young, no problem to me.”
Don’t these girls have any idea that it might be a problem for me and how this gossip can hurt the feelings of a man? Sometimes, even though I love her very much, I do not understand her. Tell me what to do.
Embarrassed husband.
Dear embarrassed,
I believe there is not much you can do. You knew where she used to work before, now you will have to cope with it. Usually all the bar girls talk about their customers, probably to get rid of the frustration. If a woman worked many years in that kind of business, she might be so used to gossip about it she can no longer see the difference between a customer and a regular boyfriend. All you can do is be patient and teach her every day how to lead a very normal life again. The best would be to get her out of the influence of her former friends.