Dear Hillary,
You may think I’m strange, as so many other people do, but the fact is I can’t find anything good in the world. Everybody tells me how beautiful and great life is in Thailand and how nice and friendly people are here. I just can’t see it. Back in Europe it was the same. All people are basically selfish, angry and mean. Love sours, happiness fades. There’s no difference where ever you go. Why is life such a struggle?
Fed up.
Dear fed up,
I couldn’t agree with you more. People can be selfish, angry and mean. Love does sour, and happiness indeed fades. Still, there are plenty of generous, pleasant, and kind individuals out there, and being in love is the greatest feeling ever invented. Joy sometimes ends but it usually returns. Sadness, by the way, also passes. Good and bad, elation and misery, serenity and rage are integral parts of this complex equation called L I F E. It’s up to you to snap out of your downward spiral of negativity and start focusing on all that’s positive in the world. Helping others might enable you to stop pitying yourself. Why not volunteer at an orphanage or a home for old age or disabled people? There is plenty here in Pattaya to do. Start thinking of life not as a struggle but as a wonderful CHALLENGE. Working will help you get rid of your boredom.
 

Dear Hillary,
My husband and I had a great sex life until last year when he slept with one of the bar girls. After he had an examination at a clinic I started to have sex with him again but, since then, he’s been unable to maintain an erection for longer than three minutes. I’ve tried everything - slinky negligees, oral sex, erotic toys - and still, in less time than it takes to boil a pot of water, he becomes limp, which makes me feel like the world’s biggest loser. “You do turn me on,” he insists, but I just don’t believe him. What can I do to fix his impotence?
Loser.
Dear Loser,
You’re not responsible for your spouses trouble, and you alone can’t cure it. Last year he was unfaithful. Now he’s unable to make love to his devoted (and extremely forgiving) wife. He needs to visit a doctor to rule out any underlying medical conditions, although I suspect his ailment isn’t physical.
It sounds like there’s a connection between your husband’s infidelity and his sudden impotence. The two of you must discuss, perhaps for the first time, his reasons for straying and vent lingering feelings - his guilt, your resentment. Be honest, caring, and patient. If communication is also a problem, you’d better urge your husband to get, together with you, some professional help.