Dear Hillary,
My problem is: People always tell me that I am too perfect. I am the perfect wife, the perfect housewife, the perfect secretary (for my husband), the perfect mother. Just name it. To tell you the truth, I am sick and tired of it. The slightest mistake I make and I will have to listen to some crap like: “You usually do everything so perfect, what happen to you today?” Can’t people understand that I am also only a human being who is allowed to make mistakes? On the other hand, some of my friends tell me that I wouldn’t understand their problems for “you are so perfect and you always know what to do.”
Can you help me to get out of this situation somehow and help me be just I want to be: Simple me!
Need Help!
Deer Need Help,
Congratulations! If you are really so perfect as you sound you should be mentioned in the Guinness Books of Records.
I like to provide you - and others who feel they are in the same position - with six important steps to becoming LESS PERFECT:
1) Ask a close friend if you come across as presenting too perfect a front, and really listen to what she has to say. (Don’t automatically deny it if the answer is yes!)
2) Admit - to yourself and others - that not everything works out for the best. Go ahead and feel bad when bad stuff happens.
3) Make a commitment to talk to trusted pals about what’s going on in your life. Acknowledge that support and feedback are helpful, sometimes necessary, to cope with problems.
4) Practice talking about problems. You don’t want to overwhelm a friend by divulging every dark spot, but neither do you want to be so vague she doesn’t have a clue as to what you’re talking about. Also, give equal time to her concerns.
5) Be specific, i.e., “Charlie and I are arguing over money again,” rather than “My whole life is terrible”.
6) Try to focus on areas the other person can relate to. You are not going to get much concern from a friend who just had triplets.

Dear Hillary,
I have two daughters, 11 and 9 years of age. They are good students and they behave in front of people. They are just great, but sometimes they act sooo silly. All of a sudden they will start to jump around like nuts or talk like they have lost their brain.
Somehow I can’t cope with it. I feel silly when I try to talk sense to them. What can I do about it?
Stressed mother.
Dear stressed mother,
Actually you should be very grateful for the “silliness” of your daughters. It shows that they are still very ‘normal’ children besides being good in school and having good behaviour.
Don’t worry about it, start to act silly together with them. Being a mother doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be very serious all the time. Kids like being silly, and they love it when you act silly too! Next time they are in the bath, announce that you feel a bit grimy too, and jump into the tub - fully clothed. Or try replacing the letter of each word you say with the letter B, so that, for example, while grocery shopping you’ll be looking for “bereal” and “bilk” along with the bananas.
Heading outside? Slip your shoes on your hands and tell the kids you’re ready. I promise you, they’ll never forget the day Mom went nuts!