|
The ashes a go go
Disregarding skinned knees,
Scott Foley makes a fine catch for Classroom 1.
by Ken Bailey
Who was that group of Farangs, with out of shape bodies
and beers in hand, that were spotted on the school’s sand oval playing
something which resembled cricket?
It was none other than Great Britain’s and Australia’s finest doing battle
for the Ashes A Go Go between Classroom 1 and Classroom 2.
Classroom 2, led by Frank Kelly, went into bat first whilst Classroom 1,
captained by Stan, tried to assemble some sort of bowling attack.
Mad dogs Frank and Ron opened the batting in what was to be the highest
scoring partnership of the game. With the score on 42, and after hitting
four fours, Ron was caught for 17. Frank, the game’s highest scorer, soon
followed Ron back to the eskies having been bowled out for 28 runs, which
included two monstrous sixes.
Classroom 2’s middle order then went: Ken 11, Reg 1, Frank Kelly 3, Kelly 3,
Bob 7, Andy 14, Duane 18, Dave 0.
Then came Classroom 2’s big hope, Jabba (The Bill), with the score on 102
runs. After expecting big things from Jabba all were reduced to fits of
laughter as he took a huge swing, missed the ball completely and sent the
blade of the bat careening across the paddock, nearly taking two
mid-fielders’ heads off. This left Jabba standing in the middle of the
pitch, holding the handle of the bat, looking like an Olympic torch runner.
This slowed the rest of the game somewhat as every run meant the batsmen
changing bats. But what the heck everyone was enjoying the sun, the beer and
the autistic batting styles on display.
Having swapped bats, Jabba hit the next delivery for six and finished six
not out when Dave was bowled for Classroom 2’s only duck. Classroom 2 had
amassed a total of 108 runs and a beer interval was taken as Classroom 1’s
potentially awesome batting line up prepared itself for Classroom 2’s
inebriated pace attack. This was also a time to attend to the many wounds
caused by the entirely sand oval. I would love 100 baht for every strained
muscle and grazed extremity suffered that day.
Classroom 1’s run chase started slowly with Tommy going for 3, Scott for 6
and Jamie for 1. Phil and Stan then followed with big hitting efforts to try
and save their side from a humiliating defeat. Phil fell for 21 after
hitting two huge sixes, and Stan was dismantled soon after for 18.
This signaled a complete batting collapse for Classroom 1 as Nick, Jez, and
Wayne all went for 0’s. Adrian, Steve and Dave’s scores were not
individually recorded, however they must have collectively scored 25 runs as
Classroom 1’s total came to a miserable 74.
The Ashes A Go Go have gone to Classroom 2.
Showing true sporting spirit both teams quickly adjourned to Classroom 1
where air conditioning, more beer, ad lovely ladies were appreciated by all.
Of course to the victors go the spoils, and in this case the captain of the
losing side was required to ring the bell for all players at the winning
side’s bar at 8:30 that night. True to his sporting nature Stan bought a
round for all those who gathered for the victory celebrations at Classroom 2
that evening.
A great day was had by all (including the wounded), and all are looking
forward to their next sporting clash.
|
|
 |
Beer Put remains atop Mickey Mouse Darts
Beer Put continues to roll in the Friday Night Mickey
Mouse Darts League, winning all 6 of their matches so far this season. Their
perfect performance has gained them a big 3 game lead atop the table.
Cheers, meanwhile, after starting the season with 3 straight wins, have now
lost their last 3 to fall into a second place tie with Rising Sun and Mick’s
Place.
Results from week 6: Rising Sun won the match and the beer leg over Pleasure
Dome at home. Beer Put won the match and the beer leg over Mick’s Place on
the road. Palmer’s also swept the match and the beer leg over Cheers at
home.
Nervous Dave from Rising Sun is holding on to the lead for the league’s
highest checkout, a 103 he achieved against Mick’s Place in week three.
Bob’s Bar wins
the hat trick
“Which TV Womble shared his name with a European
country?” “How many men’s heads are shown on an ordinary pack of 52 playing
cards?”
Bob’s ale house, the bar with a ringside seat to traffic jams on Second
Road, has won the Wednesday trivial pursuits bar league trophy for the third
time in a row. Bob’s won eleven of the fourteen matches of the season and
had an average score hovering around the 80% mark.
Their nearest rival was Fawlty Towers, newcomers to the Wednesday quiz, who
totted up some spectacular results before Christmas but had a couple of
relapses in the new year. Cheers maintained a good standard all season and
came in third.
Middle positions were held for almost the whole season by Rising Sun,
Britannia and Palmer’s, although their fortunes tended to rise and fall
according to which of their eggheads were actually in town. Aussie Ken
romped in next to last.
The wooden spoon went to Shamrock, new arrivals on the quiz front, who bore
all reverses with an enviable good humor. More than that, they succeeded in
giving the stronger teams a couple of bloody noses during the 14 week
season.
Regular topics have included movies and TV, sports and leisure, music,
trivia and a popular picture identification round. Special subjects change
weekly and have included topics as far apart as sex and violence and God’s
universe.
Question setter Barrie Kenyon said there were some surprises in store next
season and special subjects would include infamous murderers and unpopular
holiday destinations. He said, “Trivial pursuits have to be fun or they are
pointless. Too difficult quizzes are prone to arguments, whilst very easy
ones lead to too much drinking.” Bar owners commented that they hope future
quizzes are very easy indeed.
The new season starts up on January 29 and details will be in the Sports
Round-up column of Pattaya Mail.
Answers to the questions above are “Bulgaria” and “Sixteen”.
|
|
Thailand Open Backgammon Championships
Pattaya continues its bid for recognition as one of the stops on the world’s
Backgammon circuit. During the week of January 9-12 the Style Restaurant on
Jomtien Beach was host to the 2nd annual Thailand Open. Directed by Asian
Champion Göran Hasselquist, with the assistance of co-directors Billy Bloch
(USA) and Jake Jakobs (USA), the tournament attracted competitors from four
continents. Following a seminar on “how to solve problems at the table”
presented by US Open Champion (and defending Thai Champion) Jake Jakobs, 32
open division and 16 intermediate players vied for the set of trophies and
prizes presented by UFC and the Style Restaurant. In the final, Göran
Hasselquist of Pattaya survived a 13-17 deficit to defeat the German Bernd
Schmude 19-17. To his title of “Asian Champion” he adds “Thailand Open
Champion”.
Results Thailand Open:
Winner: Göran Hasselquist, Thailand. 2nd: Bernd Schmude, Germany.
Semi-finalists: Jonathan Barnes, Hong Kong, and Carsten Lindner-Emden,
Germany. Consolation winner: Jake Jakobs, USA. 2nd consolation: Gerhard
Schulze, Germany. Last chance winner: Claus Vallø, Denmark.
Results intermediate division:
Winner: Michael Burkart, Germany. 2nd: Peter Kölle, Germany.
Semifinalists: Eve Siripen and Joe Joe Songthaya, Thailand. Consolation
winner: Werner Rupp, Thailand. 2nd consolation: Jörg Riesser, Switzerland.
Last chance: Boris Grozovsky, Russia.
Desperado Cup:
Winner: Vichai Kwatra, Thailand. 2nd: Jonathan Barnes, Hong Kong.
Semifinalists: Don Rae, Hong Kong, and Werner Rupp, Thailand.
X-mas Tournament (Dec. 26, 1996):
Winner: Hans Kramer, Germany. 2nd: Claus Vallø, Denmark. Semifinalists:
Göran Hasselquist and Deng Deeprong, Thailand. Con-solation winner: Guy
Michalet, France.
New Year Tournament (Jan. 2, 1997)
Winner: Göran Hasselquist, Thailand. 2nd: Börje Sundbom, Sweden.
Semifinalists: Avry Ben-Zeev, Hong Kong, and Petar Schneider, Austria.
Consolation winner: Paul Czapor, Germany. 2nd consol-ation: Vichai Kwatra,
Thailand.
|
|
Dickey Barbe notches PGS victory
Dickey Barbe shot a net 4 under par 68 to win top prize in the Pattaya Golf
Society stroke play competition at Pattaya Country Club on Tuesday, January
14, 1997. Dickey put together 5 pars to shoot a scratch 91 off his 23
handicap.
John C.C. Gibson finished second in the large field, putting together a net
3 under par 69 off his 25 handicap.
Roy Mitchell placed third with an even par net. Arthur Bailey finished
fourth with a net 3 over par. Ken Carr rounded out the top five finishers
with a net 3 over par, losing out on a count back to Bailey.
Nearest to the pin honors were won by Ken Carr on #5 and Colin Morgan on
#16.
It turned out to be another big day for the Pattaya Golf Society with a big
crowd and good scores. Players were treated to challenging conditions at
Pattaya Country Club, with sun and no wind to start the round, followed by a
strong wind to finish the round. All players were extremely tired at the end
of the day.
As Pattaya Golf Society Chairman Peter Johansson put it, “the social side is
as important as the game. Everyone is getting along together so well now,
and we always meet for First House after the round to socialize and talk
about the game.”
The Pattaya Golf Society plays various courses every Tuesday, meeting at the
First House Hotel on Soi Buakao. Transportation is available leaving around
10:30 a.m. The next tournament will be stroke play at Pattaya Country Club
on January 28. All golfers are welcome to join the fun.
|
|
Moe and Marc win TAGGS Pairs
Moe Deverdene and Marc Jernigan combined to win the
Alternative Gentlemen’s Golf Society pairs best ball competition at Pattaya
Country Club on Wednesday, January 15, 1997. Moe and Marc, who won the last
time they teamed up, shot 11 birdies and 2 bogies to finish 9 under par 63.
Their remarkable score could have been even better, with Moe driving the
ball consistently well. Moe had at least three drives of 290 yards, all well
placed. However, he was unable to convert any of them into low scores. Moe
ended up with a 7 on all three long drives.
Marc Jernigan, meanwhile, was well on his way to his best round ever. He
needed a par on the final hole to achieve his best round, and began with a
solid drive down the middle. Unfortunately, he took a nine to finish with a
scratch 90 off his 20 handicap.
Matt Miler and Dave McBurney, two Canadian lefties, finished second with a
net 68.
Gordon McKnight and John Gibson placed third with a net 69, going out in 32,
coming back in 37.
Last month’s pairs winners, Stephen Foster Beard and Lewis Woody Underwood,
started the defense of their title by opening with both taking an 8 on each
of the first two holes. They gamely fought back, with Woody taking his usual
net 1, but finished with both taking an 8 on 17 and 18.
The “Gary Player” of The Alternative Gentlemen’s Golf Society, Gordon
McKnight, came up with yet another great bunker shot on #16. Faced with a
downhill lie, with water staring him in the face, Gordy holed out for par -
after a “practice” try left him in the bunker.
|
|
Arthur Bailey wins
1996 Player’s Cup
(L to R) Champion Arthur
Bailey, Runner-up Brian Imrie and 3rd Place Mike Riley.
The Splinter Group is pleased to have Arthur Bailey as
the first “Player’s Cup” Champion. “Young” Arthur proved himself to be the
best golfer playing in Splinter tournaments over the past quarter.
In distant second place was Brian Imrie, closely followed by Mike Riley in
third.
The Player’s Cup was played over the last four months of 1996, using a
points format. Points were awarded in every Splinter event based on the
players position in the field, with the top 20 points rounds used to
determine his (or her) standing. The tournament rewards participation and
the winner, at least in this case, is a player who is clearly one of
Pattaya’s outstanding expatriate golfers.
The Player’s Cup format will be used to identify each quarter’s best
Splinter golfer. The instigator of the Player’s Cup and the sponsor of this
quarter’s Player’s Cup trophy was Bill Thompson. Bill managed to place a
distant 11th in his own tournament.
|
|
Improve your Bridge
by Barrie Kenyon
Desperate Dan believed himself to be the world’s most unlucky card
player. “Hardly worth picking up my hand,” he would utter whilst sorting
the latest collection of rubbish. To hear him talk, he was more likely
to encounter the Frankenstein monster at a dinner party than to hold the
values for an opening bid.
He did, nonetheless, believe that the Jack of Diamonds had saved him
from being murdered. He had been playing Bridge in war-torn Beirut in
the 1970s and had to crawl under the table to retrieve the Jack of
Diamonds which had fallen out of his hand. At the very same moment,
terrorists had burst into the hall and sprayed everything in sight with
an AK47. Some minutes later, Dan emerged from the carnage completely
unharmed. Thanks to the one-eyed Jack.
Recently, Dan found himself as declarer in a contract of seven no
trumps. His partner, Grasshopper Lill, had got carried away as usual.
She was the sort of player who reaches for the stars when a trip to
Penang is all that’s on the cards. The left hand opponent led a small
spade and Lill, for once, put down a marvelous hand as dummy:
Spades King
Hearts Ace, King
Diamonds Ace, King, Queen
Clubs Ace, 9, 8, 7 6, 5, 4
Declarer Dan checked his own hand which included the magic Jack of
Diamonds:
Spades Ace, Queen, Jack
Hearts Queen, Jack, Ten
Diamonds Jack, Ten, 9, 8, 7, 6
Clubs 2
“Bother!” he exclaimed, “I cannot reach my hand to enjoy the long
diamonds headed by the Jack because the suit is blocked.” Going down the
tubes, he criticized Lill for overbidding.
But the contract is makeable. Dan should have overtaken dummy’s Spade
King with his own Ace. Next he should discard dummy’s two hearts on
Queen and Jack of Spades. Next comes Queen, Jack, and Ten of Hearts on
which he discards dummy’s top Diamonds. He now runs his Diamonds in
hand. At trick thirteen, he leads his low club to the Ace. The key is to
jettison dummy’s winners to make way for your long diamonds led by the
Jack.
|
|
Pattaya Sports Club Golf Championship 1997
Steve Mascari (left)
receives his low gross trophy from PSC Golf Chairman Alec Chilcott.
For the third year running, the excellent venue of
Eastern Star Golf Course hosted an entry of 80 competitors. The course
was in pristine condition as was promised by the management, and at
9:15, using both 1st and 10th tees, the contest began in perfect
weather.
On this occasion there was a draw for partners, the low handicaps
playing first on both tees thus ensuring a good pace of play.
The B flight produced a winner in Kris Helgasonn, a long time member
from Iceland, with 73. No less than 5 players tied on 74, and on count
back, “Daphne” from Perth was second and Fred Lewis third.
The A flight was won on a count back by Chris Palmgreen with 71 from
Keith Watson. Sven the “Viking” Vistung placed third with 72.
The Championship trophy itself was taken by the overall winner Gert
Hansen with the round of his life, a net 66.
Steve Mascari won the low gross with an 80, and Phil the booby prize
with a net 113, probably his worst round ever for he is a reasonable
golfer. But it made a change form presenting this prize to “Banana
Neilson” who withdrew his entry.
The immaculate Jock McKinlay won the best dressed golfer award and was
later contacted by a small model agency.
Christian Palmgreen took the long drive, and the four nearest the pin
trophies went to Dave Richardson, Gert Hansen, Don Richardson, and Sture
Brisholm. Long putts on 9 and 18 were claimed by Arthur Hancock and Ove
Anderson.
Alec introduced Khun Niramol of Eastern Star to the competitors and
presented her with a bouquet of flowers and everyone’s thanks for all
she does for the P.S.C. throughout the year. Quite rightly she was given
rapturous applause. Khun Niramol presented 8 free green fees as draw
prizes and in addition P.S.C. added golf balls, PSC caps, etc., so that
every competitor went home with a prize.
The photographer requested as many as possible to pose for a group photo
outside the club house, yet another gesture of support from Eastern
Star. It was a truly great day to remember.
|
|
Splinter Golf Group
Monday, January 13, Siam Country
Club. Stableford.
A flight: Winner, Gerhard Lambert, 37 pts. 2nd, Roger Rush,
35 pts. 3rd, Norman Brooks, 33 pts.
B flight: Winner, Dick Holt, 40 pts. 2nd, Harvey Witherall, 37 pts. 3rd,
(lost on count back) Gordon Finlay, 37 pts.
Wednesday, January 15, Khao Kheow Country Club. Stroke Play.
A flight: Winner, Neil Munroe, net 73. 2nd, Ove, net 78 (won on count
back). 3rd, Mick O’Meara, net 78.
B flight: Winner, Arthur Bailey, net 71. 2nd, Harry Riley, net 72. 3rd,
Mike Franklin, net 73 (won on count back from Sven Vistung).
Near Pins: Don Richardson, Neil Williams, Jim Aspen. Near pin prizes
were free green fees kindly donated by Khao Kheow.
Friday, January 17, Pattaya Country Club. Stableford.
A flight: Winner, Rick Evans, 40 pts. 2nd, Roger Rush, 39 pts. 3rd,
Gerhard Lambert, 37 pts.
B flight: Winner, Arthur Bailey (again!) 40 pts. 2nd, Mike Franklin, 38
pts. 3rd, Steve Ross, 37 pts..
Near pins: Don Richardson, Dick Perriton, Chris Stevenson, Brian Imrie.
Near pin prizes were free green fees kindly donated by Pattaya Country
Club.
|
|
|
