Fallen prey to “good heart”

Dear Editor and Readers of Pattaya Mail,
Being a very new, say inexperienced, expat in Pattaya, I went through the trauma of being black-mailed. Not too long ago I had an accident with my motor bike, very near to my house. Luckily no other vehicles or passers-by were involved. I was bleeding from my nose and had some scratches on my legs and arms. Two Thai women came to my rescue, helped me to get up and nourished my wounds. I was very grateful and offered them 500 Baht for their help. Both refused to take the money and said it was their human duty to help. Very surprised, I put the money back into my purse and went home. The very same day, in the afternoon, both women showed up at my house to see how I was doing. I offered them a drink and the younger woman stayed with me all night, “to take care of me”, is how she expressed it. I was a bit feverish and took her offer thankfully. I did not touch her at all. The next morning, I offered her money again - again it was refused. The same woman came back in the evening to sleep in my house again. This time, I admit, being a healthy younger man, I couldn’t refuse her obvious offers anymore. I have had three times sexual contact with her over a period of seven days. After that week, I got the feeling that she became too possessive and told her I would rather would stay alone in my house. I gave her 1,500 Baht which, this time, she took.
The next morning she showed up again, this time accompanied by two local policemen. She demanded 20,000 Baht, or else I would go to jail. Luckily, one of my neighbors knows people who work for Pattaya Mail and called them for help. Two Thai journalists showed up and as soon as they did the two policemen disappeared, telling the girl that they couldn’t do anything to help her. These two police officers were very helpful in the end by telling me, if there should be a further problem, they would “take care” of me. The two journalists made a deal with that woman to take money for four days (2,000 Baht). The women - she had brought two more friends - did not accept it. But they left, swearing at me. The very same day, I got myself a big dog for protection, since the family of this woman is quite large.
With this letter, I would like to warn “greenhorns” like me so they may avoid similar experiences. The moral of my story: If somebody here doesn’t ask for small money first - big money will be claimed later, one way or another.
At the same time, I would like to thank the two journalists of Pattaya Mail again. At least they have the guts and the authority to help poor, stupid guys like me and people can depend on them.
Christoph Leusser

Missed the mark

Dear Mai-ben-arai,
A couple of weeks ago you wrote a letter to Pattaya Mail Mailbag in which you complained about the misspellings you found in some restaurant menus around the bay. Yet you write under the pen name “Mai-ben-arai”, which is phonetically spelled incorrectly. I am assuming that you are trying to say “Never mind” in Thai. However, in all the Thai phrase books that I have read, “Never mind” is spelled either: “mai bpen rai”, “mai pen rai” or “mai ben rai”. “Rai”, the last bit, is always the same, and “arai” unanimously means “what” in Thai. Now, I can understand why the locals might have made these simple spelling mistakes, probably because they didn’t know any better or because they just didn’t bother to look the correct spellings up in a dictionary. However, you on the other hand should know better, so what’s your excuse?
Oh, one last thing, please do not chastise me if I have made any spelling or grammatical errors. I would prefer having my English professor do that.
Respectfully,
The other mai ben rai

Dear Sirs,
This is in reply to the letter from ‘the other mai ben rai’. We appreciate your letter for it gives us the chance to clear up a misunderstanding about the use of “Mai-ben-arai” as a pen name.
First, you should never assume anything, for, in this case, you are mistaken. ‘Mai-ben-arai’ is not trying to sign her letters “never mind”. In the case you referred to, the writer is being modest and saying she is an ‘ordinary person.’ Mai-ben-arai means ‘to be nothing’ in Thai. If you ask someone “Pen arai?’, it can mean ‘what’s wrong’. If the answer is ‘Mai ben arai’ it means ‘nothing is wrong.’ It could also be translated as ‘I am nothing’.
Thai is an isolating language, in which the words are totally independent and derive most of their meaning from their position in the sentence and relation to other words.
The word ‘rai’, found as part of ‘Pen-yang-rai?’ (an enquiry as to ‘how something is’) assumes the meaning ‘how?’. In ‘tam yang rai’, (‘How is it done?’ or in certain cases ‘What should be done?’) it has this meaning. The ‘r’ sound is usually dropped from these phrases in colloquial speech, i.e. ‘Pen-yangai?’ and ‘Tam Yangai’.
Thai is very similar to Chinese in this aspect, (being an isolating language) even though it is now believed to belong to the Austroasiatic group, along with Khmer and Vietnamese, and not the Sino-Tibetan group, as formerly assumed. The origin of the Thai language is still being argued about in some linguistic circles, though.
Sincerely,
Former Instructor of Advanced Thai
University of Washington.

The beauty of language

Dear Sir,
I was happy to read Dave’s reply to Mr. O. Minto’s letter! I also enjoy the Idioms. When you have run out of the idioms, why not start on Thai Proverbs, which are also interesting.
Although I have been in Thailand for many years, I am still learning and hearing new expressions used by the Thai. To me, the language, although difficult for foreigners to pronounce, because of the tones, it has many charming phrases: “Om-Yim” for a lolly-pop (You smile when you enjoy it). “Pang-hu-chee” (maybe you pull your ear when you see the price!).
Ending with, “Listen, reflect, ask, write.”
Yours Truly,
Mai-ben-arai

Long way to Don Muang

Dear Sir,
“Leaving Pattaya late for their flight” was the caption on the picture for your lead story last week. Thought provoking, although hardly credible. I would not have rated their chances of reaching the airport in time very highly (even if they hadn’t “left late”) as the accident has obviously happened on the Pattaya-bound side of Sukhumvit in Na Klua. This, incidentally is the direction to U-Tapao - maybe they were heading there after all. Wasn’t it just really, if truth be told, artistic license on the part of the captioner?
Best regards,
Peter Eades
“Captioner’s” reply
Thank you for your response, we always enjoy hearing from you. Perhaps it was artistic license, or perhaps it was just that the auto in the picture had careened across the median onto the south-bound side of the highway. Or, perhaps, the person going to the airport lived on that side of the road and needed to make a U-turn to get going north-bound. Or, perhaps, the passenger of the vehicle wanted to go north to Don Muang, and his attempts to persuade the driver to reverse direction attributed to the mishap. We shall leave the determination of what really happened up to our readers.

A Seaside Paradise

Pattaya is a seaside resort
With golden sand that cannot be bought,
On the Gulf of Siam
A place where you can
Enjoy water-sports and relaxing...
Night-life not taxing.
Accommodation of every sort.
But I’m sorry to say
That crime is in display
At this seaside city
Which is a pity
‘tho police are doing their best
To make it a haven for each guest
Yet all transgression cannot slay.
Philandering, Pornography,
“Snakes in grass” ply those in serenity.
Of Purloiners beware...
Your welfare they not share.
With a charming smile,
Can easily beguile,
Their actions being done stealthy.
In other cities there’s plenty of vice.
Pattaya can also be very nice,
If a wanton you are not.
You can enjoy this lovely spot,
At golf or just sailing,
In this seaside paradise.
(Sea-blubber)

Fallen prey to “good heart”

Missed the mark

The beauty of language

Long way to Don Muang

A Seaside Paradise