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Splinter seven tour Hua-Hin
The Splinter Seven on their
return to Pattaya.
Seven golfers took part in the first Splinter tour
sponsored by Orchid Trading. Royal Lakeside was the venue for Day 1 of the
tour on the way to Hua-Hin where the seven came up against a very flat
course, made difficult by hidden water and a wind that made “Twister” look
like a gentle sea breeze. Steve “Constantly Rocking” Ross made a mockery of
the course, the conditions, and his 21 handicap by scoring 43 Stableford
points. His closest challenge came from “Tommy Hilfiger” Quinn (did it?)
with a very steady 34 points. Mike “Wild Thing” Riley came in next with 33,
and the rest don’t warrant a mention.
The tour rolled into Hua-Hin that same evening and after the bags got
dropped at the hotel, this dedicated group of golfers got down to the
serious business of finding a decent bar to argue about the rules of golf
in.
Royal Hua-Hin was the venue for Day 2 of the tour, the oldest championship
course in Thailand. The conditions were perfect for golf so there could be
no excuses today, could there? The course was in very good condition and
very reminiscent of a very old course back in England, with dog’s legs both
left and right, tree lined fairways and fag ends stubbed on the tee-box. The
first group to tee-off consisted of Steve “Constantly Rocking” Ross, Naill
“Drippy” McCarty and Brad “Saddam” Doyle, the customary photo session took
place on the first tee with the railway station in the background, and of
they went. The second group was a four ball made up of Stan “Doodles” Fry,
“Tommy Hilfiger” Quinn, Mike “Wild Thing” Riley, and Gez “The Scud” Tracey
(named because they never knew when he was going to go off). The only fault
that could be found with this course was the fact that the first drink stop
was on the 8th hole, the second on the 9th, the third on the 11th, and the
fourth and final stop on the 14th. This drink-stop set up never seemed to
bother “Constantly Rocking” as he managed a net 74 (still on his 21
handicap). His closest challenge came from “Doodles” Fry with a net 79, and
“Tommy Hilfiger” Quinn with his net 80 off a very generous 41 handicap.
Day three saw the tour roll into Royal Springfield, a Jack Nicholas designed
course of the highest order. It was in immaculate condition, which might
have suited the big three - “Wild Thing” Riley, “Saddam” Doyle and Gez “The
Scud” Tracy, playing off 14, 10, and 13 respectively. “Constantly Rocking”
Ross by now had decided to voluntarily cut his own handicap by a whole
stroke to 20 (rumour has it he’s never even cut himself shaving), but
obviously it must have had some effect as he came in with a feeble 21
points.
“Drippy” McCarty (I won’t mention how he got his new name) was the man who
hit form that day with a 38 point round off his 37 handicap. “Tommy
Hilfiger” Quinn (still off 41) managed 30 points, as did Gez “The Scud”
Tracy. This made the top of the leader board a two horse race between
Constantly Rocking and Tommy Hilfiger, with two or three having a chance at
third position.
Day four, the final day, saw the tour stagger into Lakeview Princess, the
most impressive of the four courses played without a doubt. Wild Thing,
Saddam, and The Scud went out first in a three ball as they were out of
contention for a placing, leaving Constantly Rocking, Tommy Hilfiger, Drippy
and Doodles to battle it out.
There was some good golf played among the three ball for the first two
holes, then it became slightly erratic. “Saddam” Doyle sent some drives down
the fairway that resembled Tiger Woods, then he sent a few more Tiger Prawn
would have been ashamed of. “Wild Thing” Riley had some nice touches,
unfortunately none of them were on the golf course. Gez “The Scud” Tracy
played to par with his 13 handicap after ten holes, then he went
double-bogey on 11, double-bogey on 12, bogey on 13, and spew at the drink
stop on 14, ending any hopes he had of putting a decent score together.
Naill “Drippy” McCarty posted a no-return to take himself out of the
picture, letting Stan “Doodles” Fry nip in to take third place with a net 80
off his 17 handicap. “Tommy Hilfiger” Quinn stumbled at the last hole to end
up with a net 77 and second place, leaving Steve “Constantly Rocking” Ross
to win the overall tournament with a net 73. Looks like he can play at 20
after all.
On arrival back in Pattaya, the seven went to Classroom One for the
presentation and a three course meal laid on by Orchid Trading, Pattaya’s
oldest property management and real estate company.
The group would like to thank Tip, the owner of Baan Somboon in Hua-Hin
where they stayed, all the staff at Royal Lakeside, Royal Hua-Hin G.C.,
Royal Springfield and Royal Lakeview Princess for their help and assistance
and look forward to seeing them on the next tour planned for June.
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Bridge club
on the move
Pattaya Bridge club, that renowned centre of the local
intelligentsia, is to meet in new premises starting on Monday, April 7 at 2
p.m. Members will be trying grand slams and doubling each other at Fawlty
Towers Restaurant which is located on Soi 7 near Beach Road. Visitors will
continue to be made welcome.
Barrie Kenyon, the bridge club secretary, said that the current location
Cafe Royale in Pattayaland Soi 3 had served members very well. The club was
moving because Fawlty Towers can offer some evening use and is out of the
night club district which some members prefer.
For the first session at Fawlty on Monday April 7, the 50 baht admission
will be waived and a free buffet will be served from 1:30 p.m. The club
welcomes new players of all standards. In its three year history, the club
has hosted over twenty nationalities, but most of them have been short-stay
visitors to the resort.
Barrie added that the club is registered with the contract bridge
association of Thailand, is non-profit making and has police approval for
card playing.
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TAGGS presents Pattaya’s first Am-Am Tournament
The Alternative Golf Gentlemen’s Society will be proudly
presenting Pattaya’s first ever “Am-Am” golf tournament on Wednesday, April
30th, at a venue which will be announced in the near future.
The Am-Am format, which may lead into a Pro-Am tournament down the road,
will feature teams of 4 golfers, with the best 2 net scores out of 4 for
each hole counting toward the team’s score. The net scores will be based on
3/4 of each player’s handicap.
Teams will be made up of players representing several of the area’s bars,
such as the TQ team, Hare House team, Pleasure Dome team, etc., as well as
many individual teams. Competitors for the title can sign up bar teams,
individual teams, or just put their names in to be assigned to whatever team
needs them.
Trophies, T-shirts, food, and many special prizes, as well as all green
fees, will be included in the entry price of 4000 baht per team, or 1000
baht per golfer. All proceeds will go back into prizes and the tournament.
Meet on the day of the tournament at the Hare House at 8:00 a.m. Early
sign-ups are necessary, however, and can be done by contacting Wayne,
Stephen or Richard at the Hare House any time from now until a few days
before the big event.
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Knotted Putter
trophey winners in TAGGS
Vic Cross, who turns 71 in May, and the legendary Lew “Woody” Underwood,
teamed up to win the Alternative Golf Gentlemen’s Society 2 man Scramble at
Phoenix Country Club on Wednesday, March 26th.
Vic and Woody combined for a net 4 under par 68, even though they tired a
bit at the end to finish with three bogies. Vic did turn in the “save of the
day” on the 4th hole on the Mountain. Vic chipped in from 45 yards for a
birdie 2.
In a testament to how well the handicap system worked, 7 teams finished
within 2 shots of the lead. Runners up, playing in the only threesome on the
day, were Ken Cooke, Ken Carr and Larry Ball, who combined to finish with a
net 68.9.
The shot of the day was produced by Kevin Bukowski on the 7th of the
Mountain nine. Kevin’s shot went over the water, smashed into the drink
stand breaking a window, and finally came to rest in the toilet. His
reluctant partners nevertheless gave him a “free dropping”.
Patrick Asklund and Mats Mueller, running on pure Zambuca, turned in the
day’s most inconsistent round. The two achieved 3 natural birdies, yet still
managed an 89 gross.
Moving back a week, Kevin Bukowski won the society’s favorite outing, the 4
club competition on Wednesday, March 19 at Pattaya Country Club. Kevin used
his 3 wood, 7 iron, pitching wedge and putter to score 39 points off his 36
handicap.
Paul Kraft finished second with 36 points off his 15 handicap.
In all, eight scores were turned in with 33 points or better, attesting to
the fact that with only four clubs in the bag, good course management is
needed.
Still another week further back, Peter Corkran and Ian Lindberg teamed up to
win the TAGGS Pairs Better Ball Medal competition on March 12th at Khao
Kheow. Peter and Ian shot 14 net birdies and 2 bogies to finish with a net
60, two shots better than three runner-up groups. Ian alone shot a scratch
81 off his 17 handicap, with Peter contributing the rest for their great
score.
Moe Deverdenne and Patrick Asklund topped the list of groups carding net
62s. Moe actually re-wrote the golf record books by achieving a score during
his round that previously there was no name for. On the par 5, 8th hole on
the A course, Moe used his driver and 4 iron to get within 4 feet of the
pin, then made the putt for a scratch eagle, net 1, which will, from now on,
forever be called the “Moe-ron”.
Matt and Vance Miller also carded a net 62, as well as Archie Ferguson and
Keith Watson.
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Splinter Golf Group
 Monday, March 24 - Sattahip
(Stableford)
The condition of the course came under some criticism, but Gerard
Lambert continuing his consistent form was able to win with a creditable 38
points. Mike Riley came a respectable 2nd with 34 points.
Wednesday, March 26 - Natural Park Resort (Stableford)
This course was in its usual excellent condition and a pleasure
to play.
Bill Thompson won the A flight with 37 points, beating Stan Fry, also with
37 points, on count back. Ciano Glavina, having amazingly failed to win in
the two previous events, was back in reasonable form and good enough to win
the B flight with 35 points. Serge Straeten came second with 31 points,
sadly beating Steve Ross on count back
Friday, March 28 - Rayong Green Valley (Diana Group Medal)
This course is really what golf is all about - scenic and well
cared for and a pleasure to play, even when not playing well. Those who did
play well were: A flight winner Gerard Lambert net 72; 2nd Serge Straeten,
also net 72 but losing on count back; 3rd John Hurst net 74.
B flight winner Adrian Ort net 74; 2nd Arthur Bailey net 75; 3rd Steve Ross
net 76.
Near pin prizes of free green frees, kindly donated by Rayong Green Valley,
went to John Hurst, Brian Imrie, and Adrian Ort. The green on hole 3
remained virgin territory so the prize was drawn at the Green Bottle during
the prize giving. The winner was, surprisingly, Lucky Luciano Glavina!
Overall honours went to Gerard Lambert - a well deserved winner of the March
Diana Group Medal Tankard.
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Cheers battens down the hatches
“After the South China Sea, what is the next largest sea
in the world?” “What is acrophobia?”
Cheers Bar, currently leading in both the Sunday and Wednesday quizzes, is
preparing for a long siege as rival teams try to make sure that they don’t
manage a double crown which is more or less unheard of in the boozer’s
league. Much honour is at stake as local hostelries battle with each other
(and with the quiz administrators) to secure as high a score as possible.
One player was overheard to say, “We don’t mind losing as long as we win.”
In last week’s Sunday Quiz, Cheers managed a high score of 74% but were
pipped by Rising Sun (76%) who currently have a good team including an
historian and a video rental operator. Mick’s Place and Pleasure Dome are
also doing well. The Wild Chicken is running all over the place with massive
score swings from week to week. Palmer’s, Britannia and Bob’s have fallen
behind, but we know from experience all of them can deliver knock-out
punches when their key players are not queuing up at the Thai Embassy in
Phnom Penh or saving up in Britain for their next trip to Sin City.
The hardest question of the night proved to be, “What do Lord Castlereagh,
Robert Clive and Seneca have in common?” Attempts to claim all three were
transvestites could not be verified from ancient or modern sources, although
Castlereagh did commit suicide upon hearing that his rent boy of the month
fancied a higher salary than one groat a month. That’s it - all three
committed suicide! You certainly can’t make a living out of that.
Seekers after the truth are welcome to join any of the bars just before 8:30
p.m. and Sunday or Wednesday night. Answers to the above questions are
“Caribbean Sea” and “fear of heights”.
Standings in the Sunday quiz are:
Cheers 309 Points
Rising Sun 302 Points
Pleasure Dome 286 Points
Mick’s Place 282 Points
Wild Chicken 268 Points
Palmer’s 244 Points
Britannia 242 Points
Bob’s 239 Points
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Improve your Bridge
by Barrie Kenyon
One of the perennial problems at the bridge table is to know whether
it is better to play in no trumps or in one of the major suits. Many a
contract has struck the rocks because good communication was lost in a dense
fog. As Hermann Goering might have said, “When I hear the words no trump I
reach for my revolver”, although he was too dense to think up anything so
original. But the convention known as Simple Stayman is designed
specifically to land you in the right contract after an opening bid by
partner of one no trump (16-18 points and even suited).
So let’s assume your partner does precisely that and opens one no trump. You
look at your hand:
Spades Ace, 8, 7, 6
Hearts King, Jack, 7, 4
Diamonds 6
Clubs Ace, 5, 4, 3
You know that your partner has between 16 and 18 points which, added to you
twelve high card points above, means that there should be a com-fortable
game. But you have a singleton diamond which means that your hand is most
unsuitable for three no trumps. What you need to know is whether your
partner has four cards in spades or hearts or both. That’s where Stayman
comes in. So you reply to partner’s bid by saying two clubs. This is an
asking bid requiring partner to reply as follows: two diamonds (having no
four card suit in hearts or spades), two hearts (having a four card heart
suit), two spades (having a four card spade suit) and two no trumps (having
four hearts and four spades). After that, it is up to you, the partner of
the one no trump opener, to take charge.
Let us suppose the reply is two diamonds. Look at the hand above again.
Although you have a reasonable suit in both major suits, there is no point
in bidding them. Your partner, by saying two diamonds, has denied a good fit
in either of them. This means that he must hold strength and length in the
minor suits (diamonds and clubs), so you can say three no trumps with a fair
degree of confidence. No point, inciden-tally, in saying two no trumps. Your
hand has too many high card points and you must try a game.
But if your partner replies to your Stayman two clubs by saying either two
hearts or two spades, you can raise him directly to game in his preferred
suit. Your singelton diamond, which would have been a liability in three no
trumps, now provides strong ruffing possibilities in a suitable trump
contract. Incidentally, if your partner had replied two no trumps (showing
four hearts and four spades), you would probably answer four spades because
you have two honours in this suit and only one in hearts in the example
given. Although this description is only an introduction to Stayman (there
are refinements and extensions), the convention should be in the armoury of
even very modest players.
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4th annual Pattaya Orphanage charity soccer match
Tons of fun while raising
funds for worthy causes.
Its hard to believe its been 4 years already, but that is
what it has been. For the fourth straight year, the Pattaya Drop Outs, a rag
tag team of Pattaya bar owners and sponsored players, will take on teams
from the Pattaya Orphanage to raise funds for the many programs run by
Father Ray Brennan.
Last year, it was reported that the event raised over 70,000 baht for the
children of the Pattaya Orphanage, the Handicap School, the School for the
Blind, the School for the Deaf, the Street Children and the Stateless Old
Folks project.
At this time, the organisers of this year’s event would like to thank all
those who contributed to last year’s great success. Major sponsors included
the Pattaya Sports Club, BHP, McConnel Powell, Thai Leighton, Diana Group,
the US Navy (Nimitz), Thai Oil Ladies Charity Group, Asian Ladies Club,
Pattaya Mail, VFW Post 9876, Orchid Trading, and Kin Sun.
Other sponsors included Pleasure Dome, Fawlty Towers, Brian Imrie, Computer
Link, Mick’s Place, Ciano Glavina, Suppamitr Store, Bill Jones, Beer Put,
Classroom 1 and 2, Kentucky Fried Chicken, McDonalds, Koss, Pattaya Pocket
Guide, Hamburger Denmark, Single Handed Sign Company, Green Bottle, Green
Tree, Siemens, Pasi Venalainen, Beta Clough, and Pattaya Sports Supply.
This year, donations are already being sought for the event which will take
place on Saturday, May 3, 1997, as always, at the soccer pitch on the
grounds of Pattaya Orphanage. Interested parties can contact Father Ray
Brennan, tel: 428717, 422745, or fax: 716629, or Harry Riley, tel/fax:
720536, or John Cole, tel: 411667.
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Brian Kelly
gains first
win in wild
conditions
Brian Kelly achieved his first Pattaya Golf Society win
Tuesday, March 25, on a day when the weather made as much news as the play
on the course.
Brian shot a net 4 under par 68 at Pattaya Country Club to win the weekly
stroke play tournament of the Pattaya Golf Society, although the completion
of his round was delayed due to a wild thunderstorm. Before the squall was
finished, it had sent PGS golfers scurrying for cover as lightning destroyed
several trees, a drink station, and a workers’ hut. The storm caused an hour
and a half delay in the tournament and discouraged several competitors from
completing their rounds.
When the storm had settled, a brave contingent completed the tournament,
with Brian Kelly winning, Dave Roberts finishing second with a net 2 under
70, and Andy Anderson finishing third at 3 over par net 75.
Wilhelm Jittenmeier finished fourth, defeating four other golfers at 6 over
par on count back. Peter Johansson finished fifth at 6 over par net. Roy
Mitchell and George Meigh also finished at 6 over par net.
George Meigh also won both nearest to the pin awards, coming on holes #7 and
#16.
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