Dear Hillary,
As it is common in my community, I was married at the age of 18 to a very kind and loving man. We have three children. My life revolves around them, but my husband works long hours and also goes out quite often.
One year ago, I fell madly in love with a neighbor. He’s much older and also married with children. My feelings for him are so strong that I start to cry when I don’t see him. He says he feels the same, though he rarely shows it. We have met in secret many times but only had sex once at the very beginning.
Now he’s gone away for six weeks on a business trip and I feel so alone and upset. He didn’t even say good-bye. I never thought love could hurt so much. I need him and feel so empty without him. But if my husband found out, I’d lose him and the kids and my life would become horrible.
Secret Love.
Dear Secret Love,
This love hurts so much because it’s so hopeless. I think it happens to fill a gap and provide some of what’s missing in your life. Although your husband is kind and loving, you were married to him very young and he obviously isn’t giving you enough in terms of companionship. Your children are a permanent concern to which you’re both bound but from which your husband is possibly escaping by being out a lot.
Creating a passionate but largely imaginary affair with this man has given you something to think and dream about. I call it imaginary for he made love to you only one time and not again since then. Either he is a very concerned husband and/or friend or simply he just used you once for his own pleasure and just keeps pretending to love you. This ‘love’ seems to be all pain and no joy and I think you need to see what you’re doing to yourself and find some other, safer comfort.
Even if you believe you can’t confide in your husband, end this relationship as soon as possible, otherwise you and your family might fall apart.

Dear Hillary,
What can I do about my husband? We have a beautiful and nice relationship - and we have a great sex-life. But there the problem starts. I realized, many times now, that my husband starts to giggle or even to laugh during sex. It offends me very much. I’ve asked him why, all of a sudden, he starts laughing. He usually would say: ‘nothing’.
I sometimes have the feeling he’s laughing about me. Maybe I’m not beautiful enough or maybe I make a funny face or noise. How can I find out what’s so ‘funny’ to him?
Laughing Stock.
Dear Laughing Stock,
Don’t worry that you are not beautiful enough for your husband. He loves you, doesn’t he, and I am sure, he loves your looks.
You’re not alone with your complains (though most of them come from men). According to ‘sex-perts’, it’s perfectly normal to start laughing during sex. The sudden release of emotion and tension during or after orgasm is all part of the sexual response.
The next time he starts laughing again, don’t believe that you’ve made a funny face or noise, simply join in. Sex should be fun, shouldn’t it?