Part 3
by Ariyada
As promised, we’d like to remind you of some excuses for
use especially for women and for men.
Let’s start with the women:
Excuses for women only:
1. “I have PMS!” (Advice for all men: Don’t say
anything!)
2. “I’ve never done this before!” (The best excuse ever
not to do what she doesn’t want to do.)
3. “You’re the only one I really love.” (How many others
are there?)
4. “It’s that time of the month.” (Used for anything
by women between the ages of about 12 - 55.)
5. “You don’t understand me!” (Mostly used by women who
can’t or don’t want to make themselves clear.)
6. “Not tonight dear, I have a headache.” (One of the
oldest excuses. Women can be tricked by asking them first if they took
their headache pill already.)
7. “Not now, I haven’t got a headache.” (Note: this
follows on from the recent discovery that sex is actually nature’s cure for
headaches. Give it another ten years and that’s what men will be hearing
most nights.)
8. One very successful strategy for women to take with
men is to immediately say things like, “well you don’t do it either,’ and
then bring up a whole list of things “he” doesn’t do.
Excuses especially for men:
1. “This has never happened to me before.” (I’m sure I
don’t have to explain this one.)
2. “You never told me that.” (Very good for guys
who usually don’t listen what she’s saying.)
3. “You know, unless you write it down I forget things.”
(Men being sure the woman refuses to write down he should empty the garbage
can.)
4. “I lost the paper where you wrote down what I have to
do.” (This follows the above excuse, just in case the woman will
write it down.)
5. “Honey, why didn’t you pay the ransom?” (One of the
best excuses for those times when you get back several days later than you
promised. Use this for any occasion when you turn up late and/or in a
state.)
6. “I don’t see a reason for it.” (This excuse is liable
to start an argument.)
7. “I didn’t do it, I swear!” (This excuse can be used
for anything. Just make sure you say it with feeling.)
8. “ I thought you did it?”
9. “ I must have had a little too much to drink. I am not
going to do that again”. (Be careful, after using this excuse for more than
6 times, your wife might get suspicious.)
I hope you had a lot of fun reading all these excuses -
but probably you knew them already.
My excuse is: “I would have gotten these excuses to you
sooner, but my Internet was incorrectly configured with my server.
Have a nice weekend.
by Tookada
Being madly in love with a guy, women tend to sober up
fast as soon as they find out: He’s still living with mom.
Hotel “Mother” offers fantastic service: Room including washing, cleaning,
and cooking, all at a very reasonable price (if at all). But no self-reliant
life.
Around 25% of all young people aged between 25 - 30 love to be pampered at
home by Mama. Most of them are men. As soon as another woman gets involved
with them - the stress is pre-programmed. Here are three types of those
typical ‘insessorials’:
1.) The cool calculator: Many times he is still in school or
job-development. To save money, he is staying with his parents. He rather
likes to spend his own income on vacations, cars or going out with friends,
instead of taking care of his own subsistence. If a woman falls in love with
a guy like this, she’s got to make it clear that she expects to be an equal
partner and wont give him the same ‘service’ he receives at home, since she
is his girlfriend and not his mother.
2.) The easy-going ‘bon vivant’: Financial wise it would be necessary for
him to stay home with his mother. But, since it is so commodious, and
because he loves his mother’s cooking, he doesn’t want to move out. He is
able to give his girlfriend the feeling of being taken care of, yet if
someone were to look carefully into it, he performs a balancing act between
mother and girlfriend - every single day. A woman has to be patient with
such a guy. She can’t drag him into a common relationship too fast, for he
would chose his mother’s place if he is forced to make a choice.
3.) The eternal Swinger: He’s moved out of mother’s place several times
already. Still, as soon as he’s got problems at his work or in a
relationship - he’s running back home. Mom’s house is the secure haven. He
doesn’t seem to be strong enough to lead a self-reliant life. Instead of
discussing problems with his partner, he only opens his heart to mom. This
is a sad experience for any woman. She would have to help this guy to become
independent from his mother, yet without re-placing her.
