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Airhead receives PH3 Knighthood
ON ON is a call most frequently used by the million or so
silly people world-wide who are members of the running club with a drinking
problem known as the Hash House Harriers. It was first heard in Pattaya on
the 7th of January in 1984 when Hans and Molly Kirgis organised a Hash run
for 10 people through the buffalo fields and villages of Jomtien.
 Airhead
back when he had
“‘air on ‘is ‘ead”.
Over the years, most of Pattaya’s liveliest “char-acters” and “icons” have
come and gone through Pattaya’s version of the Hash. The famous BJ, who has
been here “forever” first started running back on run #3, Frank Benfield,
Jesse “The Bean”, “Sweet Squeeze” (the first to reach 450 runs) just to name
a few. Many other of Pattaya’s best elbow benders are still around, but none
has shown the longevity of Tom “Airhead” Dragoo.
A brief history:
In 1976 Tom “Airhead” Dragoo had his first and last “real” job overseas
on a road gang in Saudi Arabia, where he saved his lunch money and toiled at
work dreaming of his first leave. On that leave, he opted to visit Kathmandu
where he spent most of his time and money on keeping himself in an altered
state, and somehow (it is still a mystery) ended up in Pattaya Beach,
proudly involved in “The Butterfly Bar and Escort Service”. Living with 43
girls in a barracks on Soi 8, eating fishheads and rice, and BROKE (at this
time he didn’t even drink!).
 All
smiles after being dubbed “Sir Airhead”.
Over the next few years he dabbled in agriculture (mush-rooms), imports
(leather scent, which had nothing to do with leather), selling home-made
numchucks, yet was still broke!
During this period, “Airhead” made many strange acquaintances, one being our
own “Buttplug”. Having money (at the time), “Buttplug” offered him a much
needed vacation in England. It was on this trip when Airhead was “shamed”
into drinking beer. This was probably the start of his “Hashing career”.
As time went on his whole outlook changed. His daily quest was to find more
drinking partners. Finally he found the answer to this problem and talked
“The Pimp” (who had money) into starting a bar with a whole new concept. No
bar fines, no escort service, no girls! This was a bar only for hard core
drinkers named the Wild Elephant. It had fancy cocktails, it had shooters,
it had slammers, it had Chinese wine with salamanders or rat embryos and
lots o’ cold beer! This was the ultimate bar. You might have already guessed
- yes, it became the second “home of the Pattaya Hash”.
The comforts that being 500
brings.
By run #30, on the 11th of February in 1985, Ed “Gattling
Gob” Heneffer hared a run for 45 Hashers through the pig sties and fields of
again, Jomtien. It was then that the local hashers were given their first
lesson in singing that rude song the “Hash Hymn”. It was also on this day
when Airhead decided to do his first run and really join the crowd. He
instantly became a favourite in the circle.
 Molly
Kirgis, one of the originators of PH3.
Over the next 654 runs he has held many honourable positions such as: Hash
Sh*t, Hash Hiss, Hash Sh*t, Hash Brewmaster, Hash Sh*t and he is now Hash
Religious Advisor and Hash Sh*t.
Now, as Religious Advisor, he has “ice power” and he loves using it. To be
called into the circle and told “get some ice down your buttocks” means you
have sinned. It means you sit with a bare bottom on a large block of ice.
Airhead’s object is to keep you there as long as possible whilst he
interrogates you. It is even worse for a Harrier if a Harriette has sinned
(they are not usually called that) because Harrietts are never iced, instead
they sit on the knee of a selected Harrier. The object is to get off the ice
as quickly as possible and even Timothy McVeigh would plead guilty to a Rule
6 violation if he could avoid Airhead’s torture. Did you know such cruel and
inhuman punishments are banned by the United Nations Charter?
 BJ
at his best.
So, why was he given a Knighthood? Well, he did his 500th run on #684 on the
21st April of this very year, 1997, and he was given a Survivor T-shirt with
his new name “SIR AIRHEAD” and “1st to 500” inscribed on it. That this man’s
entertainment value is unsurpassed is an under-statement.
One of your scribes had to sit on ice (on the unmentionable hash) for not
providing a long enough bus ride for Airhead to finish one of his stories!
ON ON Hash Groupie and Tilac
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Meigh survives heat and wind to top PGS
On a brutally hot and humid day, George Meigh emerged the
winner of the weekly Pattaya Golf Society stroke play tournament at Pattaya
Country Club on Tuesday, April 22. George put together 5 natural pars and a
birdie to card a scratch 92, net 73 for a one stroke victory.
By the end of the round, unexpected monsoon type winds rose up, sending
lofty shots flying in every direction, ruining other-wise good scores. The
last four holes were especially disastrous, with single hole scores for some
of the league members shooting up to as much as ten strokes as golfers tried
to battle the winds.
Peter Johansson finished in second place after battling the breeze. Peter
shot a scratch 101, net 74. Bill Kennedy placed third, carding a net 78.
William Rice finished fourth with a net 79. Andy Anderson rounded out the
top five after beating Svein Vistung on count back, both with a net 80.
Closest to the pin honors were won by George Meigh on #5 and Sam Cholahan on
#16.
The Pattaya Golf Society will not be holding league play during the months
of May and June. Instead, the Society will play
a series of “fun” tournaments starting with a Stableford com-petition on May
6, followed by a Texas Scramble on May 13 and a 3 club & putter tournament
on May 21, all at Pattaya Country Club. “Golf with a friendly touch” being
the Society’s motto.
The Pattaya Golf Society 2nd anniversary tourna-ment is planned for the 17th
of June.
Over the months of July and August, the Pattaya Golf Society will once again
be holding their “Rainy Season Trophy II” series of tournaments.
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Beer Put finally makes it!
Last season, Beer Put entered the final week needing just
one win to finish with a perfect record, but Cheers played the spoil-sports
with an upset win. This year, it was up to Palmer’s to try and keep the
sharp-shooters from achieving perfection, but it wasn’t going to happen.
This season, Beer Put was determined to go out with a win, and they did so
to finish with a perfect 10 and 0 record, earning the Friday Night Mickey
Mouse Darts League Championship as well.
The end of season awards presentation party will be held tonight, Friday,
May 2 at Mick’s Place beginning at 8:00 p.m. Along with accepting the league
championship trophy, Gen from Beer Put will also be awarded the league
trophy for the season’s highest check out, 116.
Rising Sun edged out Cheers for the coveted “Upside Down” trophy for
achieving most under tens during the season, a trophy Pleasure Dome held for
years. Pleasure Dome won’t, however, be going home without a trophy, of
sorts. Pleasure Dome earned the “Wooden Spoon” for being the league’s
strongest team (last place).
Results from final week of matches: Beer Put won the match and the beer leg
over Palmer’s away. Mick’s Place performed the match and beer leg sweep over
Cheers at home. Rising Sun won the match but lost the beer leg to Pleasure
Dome at home.
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Livingston and Mueller scramble to victory
Richard Livingston shows the power of his drive
by “smoking” the ball off the tee.
Richard Livingston and Matts Mueller paired up to win The Alternative Golf
Gentlemen’s Society two man scramble by .2 of a stroke on Wednesday, April
23 at Bang Phra. Matts, a 28 handicapper, and Richard, a scratch golfer,
proved to be a winning combination, carding two birdies and 4 bogies en
route to a scratch 74, net 68.4. The pair went out in 38 and came back in
36.
John C.C. Gibson and Keith Watson finished second with an almost identical
round of scratch 74, net 68.6. Their round also included 2 birdies and 4
bogies, going out in 38 and coming in with 36. The difference was determined
by a .2 shot differential in handicap.
Nonetheless, the title came down to the last hole. Gibson and Watson were
faced with an 8 foot putt, straight uphill, and if either one of them had
sunk the putt, the championship would have been theirs. Livingston,
meanwhile, was faced with a 15 foot putt with a 4 foot swing. Richard read
it perfectly, sinking the putt for victory, as Gibson and Watson both failed
to hole their 8 footer.
Proving the accuracy of the handicap system, only 2 shots separated the top
four teams, and only 7 shots separated the entire field.
Stephen “Foster” Beard supplied the miscue of the day when he missed a 6
inch putt. Steve “overbalanced” when addressing the gimme, knocking it
closer to the hole. Being the true sportsman that he is, Steve holed a 25
footer on the very next hole for birdie.
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Bob’s odds on favourite for Wednesday Quiz
Baring a last minute disaster, it looks like Bob’s winers and wheezers have
grabbed the Wednesday Quiz trophy for the fourth successive time. On April
23, they narrowly defeated an all out effort by Sixties bar to hold them
down. Near rivals Cheers and Fawlty Towers also won their matches but cannot
overtake the wily Bob’s Bar team who are rumoured to pour over the
Encyclopedia Britannica even when devouring their breakfast bacon and eggs.
Hangovers permitting, of course.
Meanwhile, the Sunday Quiz is about two thirds through and Rising Sun have a
healthy lead of eight points. Their nearest rival, Cheers Bar, are scoring
well but have to make a stupendous effort to overtake Rising Sun whose
eggheads and academics are showing a remarkable tenacity. However, the
battle is not finally over until the fat lady sings.
The quiz administrators, however, now have access to the Internet which
opens up virgin territory as regards the question setting. Cynics point out
that the world wide web contains a lot of nonsense and mischief making, but
the organisers will at least have somebody else to blame for their mistakes.
In fact, the standards of general knowledge are very high in Pattaya and
visitors from Manchester and Southampton say they cannot understand what
makes Sin City so intellectual. It must be something they put in the beer.
You too can join the twice weekly fun by turning up at the bar of your
choice Sundays or Wednesdays just before 8:30 p.m. All human life is there.
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Improve your Bridge
by Barrie Kenyon
Here is a quick bidding quiz to test the wits of average
players. Let’s assume you have agreed to play the Acol system of four card
majors with your partner and that the opposition is silent throughout. As
opener you hold:
Spades Ace, King, 6, 2
Hearts King, Queen, 8, 4
Diamonds Queen
Clubs Ace, 9, 8, 7
Would you open one heart or one spade? Many players would open one spade on
the grounds that it is their higher major suit as well as being the stronger
one. But, in fact, a bid of one heart is to be preferred. Your partner is
almost bound to bid diamonds and, if so, you can call two spades. This is
known as a “reverse” bid, that is you call a lower ranking suit on the first
round but shift to a higher ranking one on the second opportunity. The
opener’s hand here is very good, eighteen high card points, and needs a
strategy to show there is hidden extra strength. So, when your partner hears
your reverse bid, he will realise you hold a powerful hand rather than one
with, say, thirteen or fourteen points. Unless partner is very poor, there
should be a game here in the major suits or in no trumps. The point of the
reverse bid is to encourage partner to find a fit in the sure knowledge that
you have a high point hand.
Now for the second quiz. You hear your partner open one no trump (16-18
points) and have to decide what to bid holding:
Spades King, Queen, 7, 4, 3
Hearts 8
Diamonds 9, 8, 7, 2
Clubs 4, 3, 2
Some people would pass on the ground that this hand is too weak to merit a
bid. The problem here is your singleton heart which, unless your partner is
strong in this suit, will probably lead to a massacre by the opponents.
Another possibility is to bid two spades, but your partner may well march
off into very high ground not knowing you have very few high card points.
The only sensible choice is to include simple transfers in your bidding
armoury: one over no trump, you bid two diamonds requiring partner to reply
two hearts or you bid two hearts requiring your partner to say two spades.
In the example given, you reply to one no trump by bidding two hearts,
partner dutifully replies two spades and you pass. The point about an
opening bid of one no trump is that it is a limit bid showing exactly 16 to
18 points and even suited. It is the partner who is in charge of how the
auction proceeds and you are looking only for a fairly safe haven in a part
score. Another advantage of simple transfers is that the weak hand will be
the dummy and the strong hand will be hidden from the preying eyes of the
defence.
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4th annual Pattaya Orphanage charity soccer match kicks off this weekend
A member of the Drop Outs
displays a heads up play while preventing a goal in last year’s game.
The 4th annual Pattaya Orphanage charity soccer match
kicks off this Saturday, May 3, on the soccer pitch inside the Pattaya
Orphanage. Each year the event gets better and better as much needed funds
are raised for the many charitable programs run by Father Ray Brennan.
For the past two years, the Pattaya Drop Outs, a rag tag team of Pattaya bar
owners and sponsored players, have emerged victorious on the scoreboard,
defeating determined teams from the Pattaya Orphanage. Each time, the
outcome of the event has been determined by a penalty shoot-out after
neither side is able to produce a clear winner in regulation time.
This year, the orphans look to seek some revenge. After winning the
inaugural event in 1994, the orphans have been on the wrong side of the
final score for the past two years. Never mind, all who participate emerge
winners.
Both sides have been seen in heavy training, the Orphans running wind
sprints and practicing precision plays, while the Drop Outs are engaging in
heavy sessions of elbow bending. This can only mean that once again, the
outcome of the games are anybody’s guess.
What is for sure is the fact that no-one who attends this fun event, be they
players or spectators, will come away losers. Each year this special day,
with the games almost a side-show to the fun of the picnic type atmosphere
for spectators and children, provides much needed contact between the
children of the orphanage and the kind hearted people of the community.
The main goal of the event is still to raise funds for the many programs run
by Father Ray Brennan, including the children of the Pattaya Orphanage, the
Handicap School, the School for the Blind, the School for the Deaf, the
Street Children and the Stateless Old Folks project. Sponsors are still
being sought, and many have already answered the call.
Organizers of the event would like to thank the sponsors who have already
signed up, including the main sponsors Pattaya Sports Club, Ray (Papa San)
Rogers, Siemens, Pattaya Mail, the Diana Group, the Pattaya Hash House
Harriers, McConnel Dowell, Beta Clough, Orchid Trading, Pacific Consulting &
Development Co., Ltd., as well as other sponsors including Beer Put,
Pleasure Dome, Pattaya Sports Supply, Jimmy Macs, Bill Jones, Classroom 1 &
2, Hare House, Rodger, Bill Thompson, Brian Imrie, Ciano Glavina & Joy,
Neils Colov, Londoner, Andy Moore, Alwyne Lomax, Steve Rogerson, Team Glia
Racing, Jeff Slater, Mickey Noon, The Computer Link, Deepak, Sanjay, Green
Bottle and Green Tree. Many thanks to all of you.
People and organizations interested in adding their names to this list of
benevolent sponsors of this worthy event can contact Father Ray Brennan,
tel: 428717, 422745, or fax: 716629, or Harry Riley, tel/fax: 720536, or
John Cole, tel: 411667.
Better yet, just show up on the day of the event and have some fun!
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Papa Ray Rogers 82nd Birthday Tourney
Papasan Ray Rogers and the Pattaya Sports Club will hold
Papa Ray Rogers 82nd Birthday Tournament on Thursday, May 8 at Pattaya
Country Club. Tee offs will be starting around 9 a.m. Transportation can be
arranged through the Cafe Kronborg, Soi Diana Inn. Early sign ups are
encouraged for this very popular annual event. Sign up at the Cafe Kronborg.
Last year, Mike Johnson scored 38 Stableford points to win the A flight and
Gez Tracy scored 37 Stableford points to win the B flight in the popular
annual event. Matt Miller won the Calloway trophy as over 80 golfer’s turned
out last year, paying testament to the popularity of one of Pattaya’s
favorite citizens; the honorable Papa Ray Rogers.
Papasan Ray Rogers will once again be treating all his friends to a
delicious Birthday dinner at his home following the tournament. All his
friends are welcome to enjoy the feast, whether they are golfers or not.
Following the dinner, the Pattaya Sports Club golf section will present the
awards for the Papa Ray Rogers 82nd Birthday Tournament at Papasan Ray’s
house.
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