Dear
Hillary,
A few days ago I received a phone call, late at night, from one of my friends.
She asked me to come over to her house because my former boyfriend was waiting
there for me. She said he needed to talk to me. When I asked her why he doesn’t
talk to me on the phone, she told me he insists on speaking to me in person. My
first reaction was to refuse but somehow I couldn’t resist and I went to see
him.
Almost three years ago we were very much in love, but after 8 beautiful months
he left me for another woman without even telling me. I just saw them together
by accident. Of course, it was a big shock for me and it took me many months to
get over it. Sometimes I have seen him briefly, always in her company, at some
friends party but we have hardly spoken. Except a few weeks ago when I met him
again at a party. He was alone and it seemed he had only eyes for me. It was so
obvious, all my friends made remarks about it. I felt so embarrassed, for all
the memories came back. Therefore, I left the part very early to avoid another
painful period. And now, after he asked my friend to call me, I found myself
running to see him again.
Anyhow, he told me that he feels very sorry for all the pain and trouble he has
caused and he wanted me back again. I answered him, I would prefer a friendship
with him only, but he told me that would be quite impossible. He said he knows
exactly how close we are to each other deep in our heart. To tell you the truth,
I couldn’t answer him for I knew he was right. When he asked me to come home
with him, I refused (I am still proud about it) though with regrets. I would
like him to come back to me, but for how long would it be? I surely couldn’t
stand another break up. What can I do?
Former Dropped Lover.
Dear Former Dropped Lover,
So, he found out after two years that you are the only woman he loves. Why? Did
his recent girlfriend drop him? Maybe his feelings are true, maybe he still
feels very close to you but, as you said, for how long? He didn’t have the
decency to tell you that he had himself found a new girlfriend - where was the
close feeling then?
I think you are the one who has to decide what to do. You are the one who will
have to suffer another trauma. If you believe he has changed or you would be
able to stand another break up, take him back. If you are clever take my advice:
Stay as far away from him as possible. A man who cannot be a friend with a woman
is a macho. Do you need one again?
Dear Hillary,
My 15 year old daughter is going through a terrible period. Whatever she does,
wherever we go, she just feels bored. She has enough friends, she also is
allowed to go out with them, but shortly she will call me to pick her up because
she feels bored. Sometimes I get so angry with her. My husband and I try to
entertain her, play with her and she has fun, but all of a sudden she’ll make a
face and all the fun is over. I really don’t know what to do anymore. If I tell
her to help me in the kitchen, she’ll do it, but with such a bored and angry
face that I sometimes feel like slapping her. How can I change her non-agreeable
behavior?
Mother of a Teenage Girl.
Dear Mother,
Trust me, you are not the only mother who feels like that. It seems to be in
fashion amongst the teenagers to feel bored. I have a daughter myself and I
remember it was horrible when she was your daughter’s age. Now she’s 18 and all
is fine again. Just don’t give up trying. Don’t nag too much - it will just do
the opposite. Pretend you are not aware of her bored face - I know it’s hard,
but if you don’t pay attention to it she has no audience and without audience
the greatest act is useless. Wait and be patient for another few years, I am
sure she’ll become a loving and perfect daughter again.