Dear Hillary,
During the last year I had to see my gynecologist many times. I had a serious problem and even had to undergo surgery. While I was in hospital he came every day to visit and never left without stroking my cheeks or holding my hand for a long time. What can I say, I fell in love with him. Now, after the operation I have to get examined every few weeks and he always takes the time to listen to me. I can talk to him about anything and I have the feeling he probably loves me too.
In the mean time I found out he is married. Once I saw his wife, she is beautiful but looks a bit cold, but I got the impression that they are not too happy together. Even though I am in love with him, I would never interfere with an intact relationship. Do you think I should change to a different doctor?
Patient.
Dear Patient,
Your gynecologist is an understanding, psychologically trained doctor who takes the problems of his patients seriously. You needed his help, not only physically but also psychologically - and he gave it to you.
Holding your hand and stroking your cheeks is not necessarily a sign that he loves you. I am sure he likes you, but that’s about all. I am sure he never asked you to meet him outside the hospital, otherwise you would have mentioned it.
His wife might seem cold to you, but do you really know her? Especially in Thailand, people don’t like to show their affections in the open, and maybe they have been married for many years already. Do you expect them to behave like teenagers?
You don’t have to change your doctor, he seems to be all right. What you definitely have to change is your feelings towards him. Any woman who had to undergo an operation is easily attracted to the person who helped her. Be thankful to him and accept his friendliness, for more you cannot ask for.

Dear Hillary,
My mother, Thai, 43, is going crazy. My father, American, died two years ago. Since then my mother has lost a lot of weight and dresses differently. She pretends to be a teenager again. Sometimes she wears clothes I, at 17, would be ashamed of wearing.
To make things worse, a few months ago she fell in love with a much younger man. He is Thai. Nobody knows what he does for work, though it seems he has lots of money. Somebody told me already he’s been to jail once. Most of the time she spends with him now. We only see her briefly when she comes to change her clothes or when he is not around.
My brother, 15, and I don’t know what to do anymore. We have talked many times about what my father would think about her now. I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but she told me to mind my own business. What can I do?
Ashamed Daughter.
Dear Ashamed,
This unusual love story could be a reaction to your father’s death. On the other hand, it could be true passion. Either way, you cannot tell your mother what to do or how to behave.
To talk bad about your mother’s new lover, you should know him and his background very well. If he is really that bad, I am sure this relationship won’t last long. One day, your mother might realize what kind of person he really is. On the opposite, if he is a good man, you and your brother might get used to him. It’s all a matter of time.
In case she does find out something bad about him, she’ll definitely be coming back to her family. Then, you’ll have to show understanding and don’t make the mistake of nagging too much.