Dear Hillary,
My husband is an addict. He smokes app. three packs of cigarettes per day. All my pleading to stop hasn’t helped so far. At his last check-up the doctor told him to stop smoking. He doesn’t have a serious problem yet but it might occur soon.
Now he is willing to stop smoking, at least he said he’ll give it a try. He has told me he would like to get over his smoking habit with the help of chewing tobacco. I don’t think this is a good idea. What do you think?
Concerned Wife.
Dear Concerned Wife,
It is absolutely not a good idea to use chewing tobacco to stop smoking. The body gets, next to nicotine, more noxious substances by using chewing tobacco or snuff.
I am also pretty sure that society wouldn’t be too happy about his new chewing habit either.
Try to talk him out of it and send him back to his doctor. Nicotine patches or nicotine chewing gum can be prescribed and are much cleaner, healthier and probably more helpful.

Dear Hillary,
I have two daughters aged 16 and 12. The older girl manages quite well at school, but her teachers think she could just get through high school and probably shouldn’t go to University.
My younger daughter is much brighter - the teachers are already talking about her taking some of her exams a year early.
I’m worried about the effect this will have on my older daughter since she already gets very sulky when the younger one mentions anything to do with school and she refuses to discuss her forthcoming exams with me. What can I do to reassure her?
Mother of Two.
Dear Mother of Two,
Above all, you should play down academic achievement at home. Talk to your girls individually about their school work and praise their efforts with equal enthusiasm. Never try to encourage the older one by comparing her with the younger.
At the same time, take a close look at other things such as music, sport and socializing, where the girls are bound to differ, and take an active interest in all these. It’s not a question if someone does things better than the other one but of helping them both to realize that there is more to life than academic success.

Dear Hillary,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years and we’ve lived together in Thailand for the past two years. I really regret that decision now. I am 24, he’s 31, and although I care about him a lot, I don’t think I love him. He really irritates me sometimes, we have nothing in common anymore and he’s very possessive. He’d go crazy if I told him I wanted to go back to Europe.
How do I get out of this? I feel like such a wimp. I keep wondering how he’ll cope without me and whether he’ll hate me for leaving. I wish somebody could tell him for me.
Like to Get Out.
Dear Like to Get Out,
Saying good-bye is hard, but in the end it’s a lot easier than staying in an unrewarding relationship. If, as you say, your boyfriend’s habits drive you mad and if he’s unreasonable and possessive, there’s no sense in staying a moment longer.
But you will have to tell him yourself - it’s not fair to him to chicken out. Plan a date to move out and pack up your gear as discreetly as you can. You are not a wimp for not wanting to hurt him, but you would be if you stayed because you couldn’t bear the upset yourself.