Dear Hillary,
My wife and I have been married for almost 20 years. I still love her very much and she is the most beautiful woman for me, but I still have to complain about her looks. Fair enough, we both grew older and got wrinkles around our eyes. Now my wife gets moody sometimes and complains to me about me looking at younger women. I have to admit, some of them do look very beautiful, but they do work at it. My wife never wears lipstick, not to mention other make-up, which gives her a pale and sick look. As long as someone is young, the ‘natural look’ is perfect, but as soon as someone gets older, the taint is not as fresh looking anymore and I believe a bit of a make-up could cover a lot. How can I convince my wife to take better care of her looks without offending her too much?
A Husband.
Dear Husband,
It’s nice to hear that even after 20 years you still consider your wife the most beautiful woman. Any woman would be very pleased to hear that phrase from her husband. Why are you complaining than? I am sure you loved her ‘natural’ look before or simply encouraged her not to wear any make-up. Now, all of a sudden, you’d like to change her habits. It must make her feel insecure.
I agree with you, when someone gets older, the skin hasn’t got the same shiny complexion anymore and make-up could help a great deal. Be patient with your wife, explain it to her, or even better, take her to a good, European trained cosmetition and try out some make-up on her. I am sure she’ll see the change a good cover-up can do, especially when you show her how much you admire her new looks.
Before going out with her, insist on her applying lipstick and soon she’ll get used to it.

Dear Hillary,
I have been married for seven years and our family has already lived in four different countries. We have two children, both were born outside England. We have been in Thailand for the past three months. I don’t want to give you the impression I am complaining about the moves, all I complain about is: the work of my husband is getting too much. When he comes home from work, he’s so tired he dozes off immediately and sleeps right through. There is no time left for me or the children. Not even on weekends, for most of the time he’s got to go to his company. He hasn’t made love to me for at least two months already and I am beginning to get frustrated. I eat more than I used to and it’s already starting to show.
Frustrated.
Dear Frustrated,
It wont help you if I tell you that you are not the only woman complaining about this. Your husband seems to think that he fulfills his duty by going to work and supplying for his family. He doesn’t realize - or doesn’t want to - that a woman also needs love, care, closeness and tenderness. Talking to him probably wouldn’t help for he would refuse to listen to you.
Why don’t you write him a letter, expressing your feelings and your sorrow and send it to his office? The written word sometimes can do much more to help in a situation like that.
You also have to be understanding and have to show respect for the hard work he is doing. It is not easy to work many hours a day and turn a switch by coming home to be a loving father and husband. Maybe it’s only the very first period that he has to work so much. You’ll see, after a while when everything is settled down, he’ll have more time to spend with you and the kids. Meanwhile, be gentle to him and help him by supporting him.