Visa restrictions eased

Britain’s Labour government is to implement its election promise and abolish the “primary purpose” rule which has been the cause of much complaining overseas. Introduced in 1989, the rule enabled immigration staff to query whether Thais (and other foreigners wishing to enter the UK) were really temporary visitors or whether their main aim was to stay long-term in Britain. Tourist visas for Thais should be less of a problem provided that the applicant can demonstrate good reason for returning to Thailand afterwards. As regards student visas, one quarter of all Thais pursuing further and higher education overseas already study in Britain.

A Pattaya food first

Although many of Pattaya’s restaurants can just about handle vegetarians, the resort until now has lacked an outlet catering exclusively for non meat and non fish eaters. The Vegetarian Kitchen on South Road, immediately opposite Videodrome, offers Thai and Chinese dishes which average around 20 baht. If your Thai is very limited, ask for “soup” followed by “khao phat mansawirat” or choose from a limited range of vegetable meals in stainless steel containers at the entrance. If your Thai is stronger, the owner and his wife can conjure up some great grub for veggies only.

Unlucky for some

Let’s hope that the new Bangkok automatic car washes don’t hit Pattaya for a while. One unlucky farang stuck his head out of his car window to put a token in the meter but accidentally pushed his vehicle’s electric window button. The glass then wound up and trapped his head as the Corolla majestically proceeded on its extremely wet journey. Simon Shawcross, a hairdresser from Brighton, commented afterwards that he did not particularly recommend the cheapest blow-dry in town.

Suit yourself

Classic Tailors on Second Road (near Northern Thai real estate in South Pattaya or next to Grand Sole Hotel in the North) have been famous since 1965 for quality and workmanship. That’s why they have so many overseas customers from Europe and USA. Ask about their special summer offers with casual wear for women and men for under 1000 baht. A bonus is that they understand the “fuller” figure.

British boob

A Manchester couple, who voted Labour at the last election, proudly bought a telephone receiver which patriotically displayed the sticker “This product qualifies for the Buy British Campaign.” A neighbour, examining this latest piece of technological wizardry, said, “Did you know it says Made in Thailand on the back?”

No birds and bees?

A news report from Vietnam says that police have discovered a plastic bag with the severed parts of a body. They suspect the remains are male, but are not sure as the hands and feet are missing. Will you tell them, or shall I?

The good Samaritan

An American farang was trundling his trolley through the car park of a first grade Pattaya superstore and wiping the sweat from his brow in the intense heat of the afternoon. Suddenly, he heard a loud bang followed by screams for help and a frantic knocking. Following the noise, he came upon a car with a farang woman sat in the driver’s seat, holding the back of her head with both hands and obviously in great distress. “Help!” she screamed, I’ve been shot in the head and I’m holding in my brains but can’t hold out much longer.” The American, with thoughts of contract killers and foreign mafias swimming in his mind, dashed to a phone to summon the emergency services before returning to comfort the woman who was frozen in panic. Five minutes later, he watched a hospital ambulance with sirens wailing drive her away. A few days afterwards, he was dumbfounded in the same superstore to see the lady calmly shopping in the aisles without so much as a bandage to be seen. “Apparently,” she told him, “In the baking heat a pre-packaged kilo of dough exploded on the back seat and the contents splattered the back of my head. Feeling the pain, I naturally assumed I had been shot.” Wouldn’t we all?

Hans the butcher moves to Jomtien

Believe it or not! Hans the butcher, formerly of “Country Grill” is taking over the “Benjarong” Beach Bar on Jomtien Beach next to Sugar Palm Hotel starting July 1st ‘97. Light food and music, cold beer and other delights are available. Hans, well known for his hospitality and quality food, would like to see you enjoy a memorable Sundowner at Benjarong on the Beach. Grapevine readers are welcome for a free “Applecorn”.