41 and counting

Kim Fletcher will be celebrating his 41st birthday on Saturday night, July 26 with a dual party at Stoney’s and TQ2. Festivities will kick off at 5:00 p.m. till 7:00 p.m. at Stoney’s with all drinks at 41 baht and a free finger buffet, followed by a 3 hour “Crazy Hours” at TQ2 with all drinks at 41 baht from 7:00 p.m. till 10:00 p.m., followed by the regular happy hours from 11:30 - 12:30 and 2:00 - 3:00. Free M & M pies will be available all night long. An easy pop quiz at 11:00 p.m. run by the Welsh Wizard of Pop Dai with free drinks, T-shirts and CDs as prizes.

The rave cave

The discovery of prehistoric wall paintings in underground caverns near Zamboanga, southern Philippines, is attracting sensational attention amongst paleontologists. But visa running, Pattaya based tourist Mr. Fred Bottomley said he was disappointed and complained, “Any three million year old child could have drawn those. There is much better work in art studios along the Beach Road.”

The Pepsi generation

Catering for farang special diets is still causing problems. An American, in a bar along Naklua Road, tried to make plain to the bar girl he was a diabetic and must have a sugar free cola. When his glass arrived, he was astonished to see that it was only one quarter full. The girl explained, “This OK for you. Most of the sugar is in big bottle behind my bar.”

12 months’ visa

It is true that you need a non-immigrant visa to apply for a Thai driving license and for a vehicle registration in your own name, but holding a yearly retirement visa (assuming you are over 55 and not working here) does not void these advantages. A retirement visa, in fact, is a non-immigrant visa which is extended by the immigration bureau 12 months at a time. Leaving the country does not void the visa provided you obtain a re-entry stamp beforehand.

All tastes catered for

Amongst the delicacies on offer this week at a leading supermarket are “Dreaded Veal Cutlets and Gordon Blue”, “Drowned Squid” and “English Teak and Kidney”. The newly opened sandwich bar promises a revolutionary novelty, “Sliced Ham with Duck Pate and Vegetarian Cheese.” As you are leaving, don’t forget to stop for your take-home order, “Tasteful Chicken in Paperbag.”

The orgasm pill

The latest pill on the market, which claims to give women an orgasm without intercourse, is to be called Nomanitol. Wonder whether it’s a fake?

Betterment of others

Calling all RAOB members, the world wide charitable organization. There’s a feasibility meeting, led by Roger, at Poteen Still Soi Yamato, on Saturday July 19 at 3 p.m. The purpose is to explore the chances of a branch in Pattaya.

Games and fireworks

The French, Belgian and Swiss Community invite you to their annual party on Sunday July 20, 10:00 am to midnight. To be held at, and for the benefit of, Pattaya Orphanage on Sukhumvit Highway. Admission 100 baht and all welcome.

BBC World update

Why can some viewers in Pattaya receive good BBC reception, and others not at all? Until the beginning of this month, a clear signal was obtainable only through Thai Sky, a subscription based Bangkok company not well known in Pattaya. But now, IBC TV is also transmitting BBC which enables both direct subscribers and, more importantly, local cable operators to have access to the excellent programmes. The people who still can’t get BBC are those with the so-called ‘Star’ satellite which picks up (free) stations beamed principally at India and northern Asia. BBC disappeared from this satellite in April 1996 on orders from Murdoch.

Getting older

No need to pay a fortune for that all important, annual medical check-up if you are leading a sin soaked life in Pattaya. The government run Banglamung Hospital in Naklua offers a first class service including x-rays and cardiograph. The cost will be measured in hundreds, rather than thousands, of your hard earned baht.

Oops

A thief died within minutes of stealing the purse of a woman farang driver who pulled in for gas at a Sukhumvit Highway garage. As he was running away, he was chased by two policemen who witnessed the theft. Deciding to hide the incriminating evidence, the panic-stricken thief swallowed 2000 baht in cash, but a 10 baht coin lodged in his windpipe and obviated the need for him to stomach a court appearance.