Dear Hillary,
I am 15 years old and live with my parents near Pattaya. I am still going to school and my parents told me already that they’ll send me back to attend high school in our country in Europe.
I do not want to go away. First of all, I have all my friends here and second, I am in love. He is 22 and works as a gardener. After I learned the news from my parents, I had sex with him for the first time. I was having my period (the first day) and I thought it was safe not to use anything. I know he doesn’t have any diseases, because he has told me. Now I am a bit afraid, what happens if I get pregnant? In Biology they told us ovulation was between the 13th and 18th day and the period started that cycle. Does it occur that way with everyone? If I am pregnant or if my parents find out that I’ve had sex, they sure are going to kill me.
Afraid.
Dear Afraid,
You should be afraid. First of all, since you don’t know whether or not you could become pregnant, what makes you so sure that he doesn’t have any diseases? Because he has told you so?
As to specifics of your question, yes, most woman fall within the statistics that you quote, but human biology doesn’t work like a machine. As you probably know, some women get their period every 28 days like clockwork, while others never know exactly when it will come. Also, we don’t know for certain how long sperm lives. Some say 48 hours while other data shows that sperm can live up to one week. So you see, unprotected sex always involves a risk, and so unless having a baby is something you want to do, you should always use a contraceptive, and to prevent the spread of disease, you should use a condom as your method of contraception, or in addition to any other in which you might have more confidence.

Dear Hillary,
I am a single Farang woman and have lived here in Thailand a few years already. I have had a boyfriend for more than one year; he is Thai.
Kissing was always a big part of my sexual enjoyment but my boyfriend rarely kisses me. It was not so at the beginning of our relationship, but now it seems like a chore for him to kiss me. Only one kiss as a foreplay and he believes I am ready to have sex with him. It is much harder for me to get sexually aroused without kissing. Sex is still good and I do have orgasms but kissing would add the intimate part I miss. I already believe he likes to keep some distance between us. After sex, I can see him standing in the bathroom rinsing with mouthwash and brushing as if I had some kind of disease. Can you give me any advise to help my situation?
Missing Kissing.
Dear Missing,
There are some men - and women - who don’t like to kiss very much. They do so at the beginning of a relationship because they feel it has to be done. Many Thais are known to be amongst those people. Thai men are also known for the fact that one kiss can arouse them so much they immediately want to have sex. To avoid this, they simply don’t kiss at places they believe are not the right place.
In your case it sounds to me that your kisses are so pronounced - exaggerated to the point that he has to go to the bathroom right afterwards and rinse his mouth - that you do have to do something about it. First of all, I would suggest that the two of you pay a visit to your dentist. Maybe it is your breath that is bothering him and he doesn’t want to tell you because he feels that it would hurt your feelings. Maybe he thinks he has a problem with his breath and doesn’t want you to know.
In any case, if you do love each other it shouldn’t be so difficult to have a very open, non-threatening, non-shouting, but open and honest discussion about it. If the outcome of that discussion is that he just doesn’t like to kiss, then my last suggestion is to try bargaining with him, offering him something in exchange for some kissing. Also tell him that it hurts your feelings when right after kissing he runs to the bathroom to rinse his mouth.
What I am basically advising is to make sure that the lines of communication between you are as wide open as possible.