Winebibber’s Grapevine  

Dear Hillary,
There is an ongoing problem in my family. While I am strict with our 12 year old daughter, I feel my husband is too lenient. The other day, she asked to go to a movie with her friend. She hadn’t finished her homework, so I said no. She then went and asked her father, who gave her permission. When I mentioned this to him, he told me she could do her homework later. We have different opinions on this subject. Which is better, to be strict or lenient?

Too strict?

Dear Too Strict,
It is natural for a child to make requests of the ‘easy’ parent. Your child is also taking advantage of the ‘daddy’s little girl’ phenomenon, which is very common. Fathers tend to be lenient with girls as mothers are with boys. This problem is really between you and your husband. You did not say whether you and your husband have really talked about this issue. Hillary feels you need to sit down and come to an agreement. In which areas does your husband think you are too strict? In which areas do you feel he is too lenient? You and your husband need to set rules to which you both agree concerning your child. This can only be accomplished by calm discussion. You both want what is best for your daughter.

Dear Hillary,
My husband and I are both 51 and have been married for seven years. He is handsome, intelligent, charming, generally thoughtful and a lot of fun. I am really happy with him and enjoy spending time with him. There is one thing which has bothered me since we moved to Thailand: whenever we go out I often catch him staring at other women (especially small and tiny Thai girls). I always get annoyed and jealous. I have told him how much this upsets me. He stops it for a while - but then he is right back at it! As soon as we are home, he will tell me how much he loves me and that I am the only woman in his life. I do not want to create a big problem. I do not want to lose him or leave him for this, because I love him dearly - and there are not so many available, lively, not married men in my neighborhood. What can I do?

Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,
You said your husband likes to look at ‘young, tiny Thai girls’. If you mean children he might be a paedophile. If so, your husband has a very serious problem. This column is not the proper place to deal with such problems.

If you mean young women of small stature, this seems to be more your problem than his. A man looking at attractive women is totally normal. Most women, Hillary included, like to look at attractive men. It is a fact of physical anthropology that Western men (and women) find the Polynesian and South-East Asian people exotic and alluring.

If your husband is leering, it is indeed very rude. You did not state that this was the case in your letter.

If your husband’s looking at women upsets you, I think you should ask how you feel about yourself.

You said you did not want to lose him. Do you feel he is planning to leave you? You said you did not want to leave him? Do you feel this strongly about his behavior?

Hillary is confused, as you say that there are not so many available men in your neighborhood. What does this mean?

All of us can benefit from objective help. Hillary recommends you contact Community Services of Bangkok and explore your feelings with a counselor. It will help you sort our your feelings.

  Thai Idiom:
Ja! Eh?

Ja! Eh?

‘What on Earth?’
‘Sounds unearthly to me!’
‘Ja! Eh?’ may be the first words a Thai child hears.
It is equivalent to the English ‘Peek-a-Boo’.
It is used with children.
Ja! Eh? may be used with adults if you ‘run into’ someone
where you were not expecting to meet them.

  Family Money

Pots Without Wax

by Leslie Wright

Truth in advertising is a wonderful thing - but all too rare.

Open your telephone company Yellow Pages to almost any page and see how many competitive firms each claim to be "the best" or "the leading" firm in their field.

Who decides which firm is "the best"? By what criteria? Does any regulatory body exist to oversee such claims and prevent false or misleading advertising?

If no regulatory body exists, or if one does and its rules are not enforced, how much credence can members of the public put on advertising claims? It all becomes a matter of "caveat emptor" - "Let the buyer beware."

Pendulums can swing too far

Regulations which protect members of the public against false or misleading claims are, in my opinion, a good thing, and enable people to judge the merits of one company’s products or services fairly against another.

On the other hand, when regulations are first introduced they can sometimes be applied over zealously.

An example is when very strict new advertising rules were introduced some years ago in the U.K. Shirt manufacturers were forced to change all the labels which said "100% cotton" because the regulatory bureaucrats insisted that since the buttons on the shirts were not made of cotton, the label made a false claim...

Another example of petty bureaucracy was the Scotsman who advertised in his local newspaper for a Scottish cook because he wanted his porridge cooked in the traditional way, and for this was prosecuted by the Race Relations Board.

(They took the view that he could advertise for a cook and select the one he wanted from the candidates who responded, but he was breaking the law by advertising specifically for a Scottish cook...)

Self-Regulation

Where no regulatory authorities or laws exist, or are not properly or adequately enforced, false or misleading advertising, second-rate goods and poor service will inevitably abound.

Sadly, sharp or shady practices by a few unscrupulous operators can affect any industry and tend to bring it into disrepute. (How long did your first fake Cartier watch keep running?) But a few rotten apples don’t mean the whole barrel is bad. Unscrupulous operators usually get found out quite quickly, and word spreads.

The old saying "word of mouth is the best advertising" is very true - and word of mouth can equally well sound the death-knell for the unscrupulous operators and false advertisers.

When in Rome

Self-regulation by honest businesspeople generally serves quite well in the absence of legislation to raise standards and instill the public with trust and confidence in a particular industry’s goods or services.

The first recorded instance of truth-in-advertising dates from Imperial Rome.

In those days everyone cooked their food in clay pots, and unscrupulous pottery manufacturers would use wax to cover up the cracks and blemishes in sub-standard pots to make them look perfect.

Unsuspecting members of the populace would only discover the defects in their nice new pots when they started to cook their dinners, and of course ended up with soup all over the floor when the wax melted.

Thus the more honest merchants put up signs on their stalls saying "All Pots Here Without Wax." And this early truth-in-advertising claim has become part of our everyday language, because the Latin for "without wax" is "sin cere" - sincere.

If you are in business, offering goods or services to the public, are your business dealings and advertising claims truly "without wax" - sincere?

If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, write to Leslie Wright, c/o Family Money, Pattaya Mail, or fax him directly on (038) 232522 or e-mail him at [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.

  Health & Nutrition Facts: Fiber Facts

by Laura Zubrod

Just what is fiber and how is it good for you? Fiber is the structural part of plant foods that we cannot digest. You may hear fiber called roughage or bulk. You don’t get any energy from fiber and fiber isn’t vital for your existence like some nutrients, but fiber does a lot to promote health and help reduce the risk of some chronic diseases.

There are two different types of fiber: insoluble and soluble. Insoluble fiber does not dissolve in water. Insoluble fibers include cellulose, hemicellose, and lignin. Common sources are wheat bran, vegetables, and whole grains. Insoluble fiber helps prevent and treat constipation and intestinal disorders like diverticulosis. Fiber may also help prevent certain types of cancer such as colon and possibly breast cancers.

Soluble fiber forms a gel in water and includes gums, mucliages, and pectins. This fiber is found in oat bran, kidney beans and other dried beans, oat bran, barley, and in some fruits and vegetables such as oranges, grapefruit, and dried fruit. Soluble fiber can help lower blood cholesterol and reduce the risk of heart disease, and stabilize blood sugar levels in people with diabetes.

Psyllium is a soluble fiber that’s found in most bulking agents like Metamucil, Konsyl, Modane, Per Diem Fiber, etc. Bacteria in the gut don’t break down Psyllium as rapidly as they do other soluble fibers, so it lowers cholesterol like a soluble fiber but also increases stool bulk like an insoluble fiber. If used these products should only act as a supplement and not a fiber replacement. Whole foods are by far the best source of fiber and contain other important nutrients as well.

Fiber can also help your waistline. Foods high in fiber are typically lower in calories, take longer to chew, and make you feel full longer. Also, foods that contain fiber often provide many important vitamins and minerals.

How much fiber do you need? Working in up to 25 to 30 grams of fiber each day is optimal. Some examples of high-fiber fruits (3 grams of fiber each) and vegetables (21/2 grams per 1/2 cup) are: apple, banana, pear, orange, 3 prunes, 1 cup strawberries, broccoli, beats, Brussels sprouts, carrots, corn, peas, potato (with skin), and spinach. Whole grain bread has about 11/2 grams of fiber per slice compared to 1/2 gram for white bread. Brown rice has 2 grams per cup versus less than 1/2 gram for white rice.

When adding fiber to your diet, it’s very important to make changes slowly to avoid bloating, cramping, or gas. Drinking plenty of liquids is also important when eating a high fiber diet. Fiber acts like a sponge, soaking up liquids. Therefore, you need to increase your intake of fluids when you increase your fiber consumption. You need at least 10-12 8-ounce (250ml) glasses of water each day.

Here are a few suggestions for increasing fiber in your diet:

Choose high fiber snacks like fresh fruits and vegetables, nuts, popcorn, whole grain crackers.

Mix raisins, prunes, dates, other dried fruits, or a spoonful of your favorite preserves with cereal, yogurt.

Add 1 or more servings of whole fresh fruits and vegetables to your diet each day. Fruit and vegetable juices contain little fiber.

Switch from white bread and white rice to unrefined whole-grain breads and cereals and brown rice.

Try bran cereal or oatmeal for breakfast.

Gradually begin adding 2-3 tsp. of oat bran or wheat (miller’s) bran to foods that you eat regularly (add to cereal, yogurt, meatloaf, casseroles, sauces, and dips). Work up to 1/4 cup per day.

Add some cooked beans such as pinto and kidney beans, lentils, and chili beans to your diet each week.

Fiber plays a role in your health and well-being. It’s important to include both soluble and insoluble fiber in your diet every day. A few substitutions and simple additions to your diet are all it takes to benefit from this invaluable nutrient.

Readers may write Laura care of the Pattaya Mail with questions or special topics they would like to see addressed.

Copyright 1998 Pattaya Mail Publishing Co.Ltd.
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260, Thailand 
Tel.66-38 411 240-1, 413 240-1, Fax:66-38 427 596; e-mail: [email protected]
Created by Andy Gombaez