Good morning Pattaya Mail,
Would it be possible to let me have the E-mail address of
Phoenix golf course please.
Would it not be a good idea to make an
article on the major golf and country clubs in the area, and
on how they are doing now-a-days. Eastern Star, Phoenix,
Green Valley, to name a few. They may also be interested to
use your web site to put some adverts and info up.
The issue of farangs owing land, the law in
this respect, and how one can use a Thai registered company
for real estate ownership, are topics you may want to address
in the future.
Regards
William of Bracknell
Editor’s reply: Thank you for your
interest and suggestions. Concerning the golf courses, the
gentlemen who contribute to the Pattaya Sports Club Golf page
every week (page 25) usually submit helpful little tidbits
about the courses the club visits each week. More information
on the PSC, as well as golf courses in the area, can be found
on their website at www.pattayasports.org. Further, sometimes
more detailed information on golf courses in the area
(perhaps including the e-mail address of Phoenix Country
Club) can be found on a website called www.Thaigolf.com.
Dear Sirs:
Every Friday evening we rush to the computer to see your
latest edition. We visit Pattaya once a year and really enjoy
your on-line edition...
I really enjoy the auto column by that
Aussie fella and every now and then there are articles by
someone by the name of McCarthy that are quite enjoyable,
kind of new openings of rest. or clubs. You might think of
presenting a restaurant an issue and critique it. That would
be good for those of us that only get there once a year.
Keep up the good work, your paper keeps us
in touch with Pattaya.
Thanks,
Harv from TX USA
Sir,
Next week I return to Pattaya to put my feet up in Suksabai
and savour the sports coverage given on the local network. At
last I can see Premiership football, follow the upward climb
of our young tennis stars, watch cricket to my heart’s
content, albeit the current tour of the Windies is drawing to
a close, or check and watch the progress of our British golf
players.
To which far flung corner of the British
Empire have I been vanquished? Where can’t I view the
progress of our sporting heroes (or villains)? Which country
can I not settle down in and watch all this on the
state’s normal T.V. network? ENGLAND of course.
Martin J Knapp
Dear Editor,
For the year or so I have been in Pattaya I have
intermittently read your advice column, "Heart to Heart
With Hillary." At times I have taken her column with a
good dose of humor, at other times with mild concern for the
more serious readers of such lame advice. Recently, however,
I have been shocked at the boldness and utter nonsense of
some of her ruminations and proclamations. It was for this
reason I decided to finally speak up and say, ENOUGH IS
ENOUGH! Let’s stamp out Hillary!
What is the nature of her transgressions?
Generally she accepts the writer’s view at face value
and gives simplistic overly general advice. She exhibits
little or no knowledge of concepts of behavioral science or
research. At times she overlooks important information
necessary for a better understanding of the issues involved.
Her advice could at times be harmful if followed by the
reader. There are many examples, but where to begin?
The most recent offense was her response to
the young Thai woman who was concerned that her American
boyfriend might lose interest in her once he discovered she
wore a "padded bra" (PM 27 March, 1998). This poor
woman was obviously making irrational unfounded assumptions
about her boyfriend’s attitudes which were clearly based
upon her own stereotypes and insecurities. This is the
phenomenon known as "projection." Hillary could
have done this woman and others like her a favor by
identifying the woman’s low self esteem as the central
issue, rather than directing her to view the matter as a test
of the man’s worthiness to date her. Hillary’s
advice: "When the time comes tell him the truth. If he
loses interest - good riddance."
Come on, Hillary! Have you ever seen a
padded bra? How much can this piece of fabric realistically
be contributing to the woman’s attractiveness to that
man? By suggesting that a rejection of her based on a minor,
possibly imperceptible discrepancy in breast size is a
possibility aren’t you in effect validating her
insecurities and adding to her anxiety level? You are doing
more harm than good. It’s time to put away your pen and
embark on a new career!
Then there was the poor retired woman who
complained that her husband had depleted their savings and
was eating into her pension to finance his gambling habit (PM
13 March, 1998). She sometimes didn’t have enough money
to pay the rent and occasionally asked her daughter to send
her money. The woman wrote, "I try ... to save as much
money as possible on food and other expenses, but the more I
save, the more he spends." Hillary’s advice?
"..convince him to seek help with a qualified
psychotherapist... if he refuses... you must leave him."
Anyone with any awareness of the dynamic of
addictive behavior would recognize this woman’s role in
enabling and perpetuating her husband’s irresponsible
compulsive behavior. By allowing her husband access to her
pension, borrowing from her daughter and cutting back on
expenses she was unwittingly fueling his addiction and
preventing him from experiencing the natural consequences of
his gambling. Insight into this dynamic on the part of the
addict’s support network (in this case, wife) is
considered essential to the recovery of the addict.
Abandoning the addict may become necessary in some cases at
some point, but it seems premature to be calling for this
drastic step with the limited information available in the
woman’s letter.
This woman could obviously benefit from
counseling herself, as well as from the understanding and
support of others who have faced similar difficulties with
addicted loved ones. Organizations like ALA non, Narcanon and
Tough Love specialize in providing the unique counseling and
support these so called "co-dependent" individuals
require, but not one word was mentioned about these excellent
resources. I could give many more examples, but I think
I’ve made my point.
Hillary comes across as a well intentioned
person who gives out her own opinion to a friend or family
member. It is easy to shrug off a family member’s advice
by reasoning that he or she really isn’t qualified to
give advice. However, unlike one’s family member, she
publishes her comments in the newspaper. Because of this she
may be viewed by some as an expert in human behavior and her
comments given more weight than they deserve. I see no
disclaimer accompanying her column which would indicate her
lack of professional training and knowledge of psychology.
It’s time to put an end to this inane, misguided form of
counseling. I, for one, think it’s time for the Pattaya
Mail to find a new "Hillary".
Sincerely,
Michael Catalanello
