Dear Hillary,
My fiancé and I have been together for three years now and we want to get married soon.
Yet, since we are in Thailand, everything has changed. The problem is his obsession with
my weight. I’m 5-foot-2 and 100 pounds, and I try to work out every other day. He
even calls me from work to see if I’m exercising instead of doing something else. He
always comments on other women’s bodies, and our sex life is rapidly going downhill.
Whenever he sees me naked, he grabs my fat and comments on it. I don’t want to lose
him, but I’m 25 now, and I feel this is the best body I’m going to have. What
should I do?
Too Fat.
Dear Too Fat,
You’re right in saying that the problem is your fiancé’s obsession with your
weight. As long as you feel fit and healthy, there’s nothing wrong with your body.
You say you don’t want to lose him. Well, I can understand being afraid to face the
emotional trauma of breaking up with someone after three years of marriage. But it sounds
to me like staying with him will ultimately be more painful than breaking things off with
him. He’s a control freak, and you’re quite right that it will only get worse.
If it weren’t your body he was judging, His Royal Highness would surely find
something else to criticize. Tell him his values and priorities need a little work;
they’re softer and more flabby than your body will ever be. You can definitely do
better for a life’s partner.
Dear Hillary,
My boyfriend of four months just recently confessed that he’s manic depressive. I
feel that I can deal with this. After all, I loved him before and I still do. My parents
are very worried, however, saying I’m too young to settle for someone ‘like
that’. How can they say that? It isn’t his fault. Besides, I don’t feel at
all like I’m "settling." I really do love him. How should I handle this?
Cathy
Dear Cathy,
Many people call themselves "manic depressive" because they’re subject to
wide mood swings. In many cases, their self-diagnosis is wrong. They’re exaggerating,
the way you and I do when we say we are "dying for a drink of water" or
"madly" in love. True manic depression is a clinical condition that can usually
be controlled with drugs. If your boyfriend has received a professional diagnosis, ask to
go with him to meet his doctor. In this setting, you can get answers to all the questions
you have about the illness. You would learn about how acute your boyfriend’s case is,
how it will be treated in the long run, the side effects of any drugs he might be
prescribed... In short, you would get a clear picture of what living with him and his
illness would be like. Armed with this information, you can have a constructive
conversation with your parents. I believe they’re not trying to control you;
they’re voicing their concern because they love you and don’t want to see you
hurt. If you ultimately decide to stay with your boyfriend and your parents are at least
open-minded about what you have to say, then you can gradually introduce him into their
lives. Be patient, though. Their reservations aren’t going to disappear overnight.
Presented by Bangkok-Pattaya Hospital
by Dr. Iain Corness
I do not believe there will be one person reading this
article who has not had a hangover at some time. For as long as alcohol is an inherent
part of our society, there will also be hangovers.
This is not a subject you will find in standard medical text books, but
while a young intern, myself and several of my colleagues embarked on some very intense
research on just this subject. The following words of wisdom are the results of that
research!
I define a hangover as that feeling you get in the morning where light
hurts, your eyes feel as if they are going to fall out of their sockets, you have a
pounding hammer-like process going on inside your forehead and your tongue is stuck to the
roof of your mouth. You have also been drinking the night before!
Now there’s lots of folklore about drinking, getting drunk, hangovers
and hangover cures. Let’s clear up a few of these. "I don’t get drunk if I
stick to (name your own poison) drinks. I just get drunk (or get a hangover) if I mix
them." Physiologically this is scientific bunkum. All the alcohol you drink is
de-toxified by the liver. By the time it gets there, via the bloodstream having been
absorbed through the stomach, it is in a simple chemical form called C2H5OH, otherwise
known as Ethanol. It makes no difference what label was on the bottle, by the time it gets
to the liver it is Chateau Ethanol.
The one significant difference is in the percentage of alcohol in the
drinks you consume. Beer is generally around 6%, wine around 12% and spirits about 40%.
So, volume for volume you can drink twice as much beer as wine and end up with the same
amount of ethanol in your system. However, if your wine has bubbles, it is absorbed
quicker, which explains the rush to the head every time you drink champagne!
Now, having explained your drunken state - hangover cures! As interns we,
in the name of science of course, tried everything. Tablets, injections, intra-venous
infusions - the lot. Very little works.
Unfortunately, the hangover effect is a combination of poisoned liver and
dehydration. The damage that ethanol can do includes producing vomiting and diarrhoea.
This much we can get over with large and painful injections into your backside. The
rehydration takes a little longer.
There is only one sure-fire way to avoid hangovers - don’t drink! If
you must, drink in moderation. A good plan is to intersperse your alcoholic drinks with
glasses of water (or soda water) and have a very large glass of water before you go to
bed.
Footnote: If any readers see me drinking alcohol in public, please rest
assured that it is all part of my life-long scientific research programme! "Bottoms
up!"
By Leslie Wright
As discussed last week, any investment carries a certain
element of risk which should be taken into consideration against the potential return.
Property and real-estate is regarded by many as a no-risk investment, but
in fact property does carry certain risks, some of which are too often forgotten by
potential buyers.
The most obvious risk to buying a property is that the market will slump
shortly after you’ve completed the purchase, and not recover for a long time.
Bursting Bubbles
This happened in the U.S.A. in the late 70’s and the U.K.
in the late 80’s. A speculative bubble had been created, started by a shortage of
supply relative to demand, addressed by extensive building development, which then led to
an over-supply.
The bubble burst, and home purchasers suddenly found themselves burdened
with expensive mortgages which exceeded the value of their homes.
In the U.K., property values in many areas have still not reached the
highs of a decade ago.
In Hong Kong, property speculation has been going on for decades, with
seemingly no end in sight.
Many people had forgotten the crisis that was created when the speculative
bubble broke back in the early 80’s, leading to the fall of the Carrian empire and
severely damaging several banks who had lent enormous amounts of money to this enterprise.
Throughout this decade property speculation had again become a favourite
pastime for Hong Kong people, but in the past year this bubble has burst also.
Bargains in Thailand?
In Bangkok, a shortage of office space a few years back led to
massive building programs of both office blocks and condominium complexes, many of which
are now standing unoccupied and unrented.
Some people see the current situation in Thailand as a good buying
opportunity to invest in property - without considering two important factors.
First, that property prices have not fallen in line with the rest of the
economy as much as might have been anticipated - so are not exactly ‘bargains’.
This is partly because owners are reluctant to accept a loss on their
investment, so are unwilling to sell below this somewhat arbitrary figure; and secondly
because of outdated and peculiar laws whereby the financing banks are unable to seize the
collateral property to recover defaulted loans.
This anomaly in the law is currently being addressed; but even if the
banks could seize the property collateral in order to recover their loans, to whom are
they going to sell it in a depressed market where supply far exceeds demand?
Taxes erode potential gains
The second factor which many buyers (especially foreigners) fail
to take into account is the taxes that become due upon transfer of property title.
Taking into account the fact that neither foreigners nor their offspring
from mixed marriages can legally own land at the moment (which may change if a bill under
consideration is passed into law - but how long that may take is anybody’s guess; the
last time property laws changed it took seven years), many foreigners are considering
buying condominiums or by-passing the law by purchasing a house through a company.
Not only is corporate tax higher than personal tax, the cost of setting up
the company has to be considered as part of the initial investment outlay.
However, because of the peculiar local system of taxing property on a
rather arbitrary assessed value rather than true market value, the three taxes that will
have to be paid when the property is bought or sold could amount to as much as 30% of the
purchase price - which could come as a nasty shock to a buyer when a tax bill arrives,
often some two or three months after the sale is completed, since the seller often
neglects to mention this liability during the negotiations...
The first risk an investor runs, therefore, is that should he need to
liquidate his investment - i.e., sell the property - he could suffer a
considerable capital loss if the market value at the time of sale is lower than what he
paid for the property.
If he bought the property on a mortgage or financing arrangement, the loss
will be compounded by the interest he will have paid in the meantime - not to mention the
taxes that may have to be paid on the property, either by the seller or the buyer - if a
buyer can even be found in a reasonable timeframe.
Looking at property purely from an investment perspective, it could take
many years for the overall costs to be recovered, and in developed markets, property
values over the long term just about match inflation.
In the meantime, there are all sorts of ‘charges’ on the
investment to be considered: local taxes; insurance; maintenance & repair - which
could be a major expense should the tenants run amok and trash the place!
Regular rents
The real net income on most investment property in the U.K., for
example - even located in an area with a reliable rental-income stream - is only in the
range of 4%-6% per annum. Not a very enticing return, and only a ‘worthwhile’
investment where the rental income more than covers the mortgage repayments, interest, and
tax liability, thus effectively paying for the property over a 15-25 year period.
The second risk that has to be taken into consideration therefore is the
regularity of income.
What if the property cannot be rented out for some time, or a tenant
defaults on the rent?
In some regimes a tenant cannot easily be removed from the property just
because he fails to pay the rent on time or at all: it would take a court order to get him
out, involving more expense and delays.
In the meantime, the investment produces no income.
If the property carries a mortgage, the owner suffers at best a negative
cash flow, which may never be recovered. Worse, the investor may find himself unable to
meet the repayment schedule, thereby running the risk of losing his investment entirely
should the lending institution foreclose on the loan.
When disaster strikes
The third risk to be considered is disaster. In many cases,
insurance companies will not pay out on Acts of God such as earthquakes, typhoons, floods,
tidal waves or volcanic eruptions.
All right, there aren’t too many volcanoes around London, but
residents of San Francisco and Tokyo are certainly conscious of the earthquake risk, and
so are the insurance companies.
Should the property burn down, your insurance may cover the replacement
cost of the property - or it may not.
I’ve heard of cases in the U.S.A. where homes have been lost to
tornadoes in Kansas, hurricanes in Florida, or bushfires in California, and the homeowners
were unable to claim on their insurance policies which excluded these ‘Acts of
God’.
Some Australian property owners who lost their homes in the wave of
bushfires some years ago were unable to recoup their losses when their insurance companies
refused to pay out - in some cases on the grounds that destruction from bushfire was not
covered in the policy; in other cases because arson was the cause of some of these fires.
I know of one case in the Philippines where the firemen managed to save
the property before it was completely gutted, but the insurance company refused to pay out
because most of the damage was caused by the firemen’s water!
The hapless owner (a widow whose only income had been the rents from this
small apartment building) was left with only a shell which could not be rented out without
completely rebuilding and refurnishing the interior, the costs of which were beyond her
means; and the banks were unwilling to finance the refurbishment, since the only
collateral she could offer was the burned building.
She was forced to sell the shell to developers for a fraction of the value
of the property before the fire, and suffered a huge loss on the investment.
Investing this remaining capital into secure, income-yielding offshore
investments still produced less than the apartment building had before the fire, forcing
her to amend her lifestyle quite drastically.
She commented bitterly that she wished she’d met me before buying the
building, because she would have been far better off if she had...
Next week: risk & return in bonds & stock markets.
If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other
topics concerning investment matters, write to Leslie Wright, c/o Family Money, Pattaya
Mail, or fax him directly on (038) 232522 or e-mail him at westport@loxinfo.co.th. Further
details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on
www.westminsterthailand.com.
Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services
(Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate
residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international
investments.
By Laura Zubrod,
Registered Dietitian
The best advise regarding a cold or the flu is to prevent
it. Eating a balanced diet rich in fruits and vegetables, getting adequate sleep and
moderate physical activity are important preventative measures. Managing stress and
keeping a positive attitude also help to keep your body’s natural defenses working to
fend off illness.
However, with the best of diets and health care, most of us do inevitably
catch a cold from time to time. What do you do when you get sick? That old adage about
starving a cold and feeding a fever is partially untrue. Illness is never a time to starve
your body of valuable nutrients it needs to build and maintain its immune system. Your
body needs a supply of nutrients or "ammunition" to fight the battle.
The best thing you can do when you’re feeling sick is to continue
eating a balanced diet. Although you may not feel hungry when you are ill, it’s
important to eat. An empty stomach can exacerbate symptoms of nausea and weariness. Nasal
drainage can cause nausea if your stomach is empty. Try eating small, frequent mini meals
of bland foods. Perhaps you’ve heard of the BRAT diet for diarrhea. It consists of
bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast, and although it won’t cure diarrhea, it can
help you get on the mend faster. The bland foods in the BRAT diet and other foods such as
crackers, hot cereal, and noodles are all good choices for a troubled tummy or a poor
appetite.
Sometimes dairy products, fresh fruits (bananas are quite mild) and raw
vegetables, and highly spiced foods may be avoided when illness strikes because these
foods are more likely to irritate an already touchy gastrointestinal system. It is really
a personal call on what you can tolerate when you are ill. The bottom line is that you
need to eat something to give your body energy to battle the bug that ails you.
Be sure to drink plenty of fluids when you are sick and especially if you
have diarrhea, are vomiting, or have a fever. You can become dehydrated quickly with
diarrhea or vomiting. A fever increases your body’s fluid and energy needs. Try
sipping warm water, juice, soup, ginger ale, sports drinks like Gatorade, or Sprite.
Extra rest is essential in helping your body get over illness. Fighting
off a cold takes extra energy. Sleep allows more time for your body to heal and repair
itself. Lack of sleep due to stress, depression, or a hectic schedule will prolong the
duration of your cold.
Does extra vitamin C fend off a cold? There is no scientific evidence that
high doses of vitamin C prevent or shorten the duration of a cold. However, the effect of
vitamin C in reducing histamine levels may explain in part the belief that supplements
reduce the symptoms and duration of the common cold. Histamine is the chemical released by
your body that causes your nose to run. Vitamin C won’t cure a cold but if a few
extra glasses of orange juice or an additional slice of guava or cantaloupe can help your
nose run less, it’s worth a try. Remember that more is not always better. Too much
vitamin C can irritate the lining of your stomach, cause diarrhea, and over time cause
kidney stones.
If your flu symptoms of nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea last 24 hours or
less it wasn’t the flu, but more likely food poisoning. Vomiting and diarrhea are
your body’s way of quickly getting rid of the offending substance. Symptoms should
subside in 24 to 28 hours. Diarrhea and vomiting that last longer than three days should
be addressed by a doctor.
Remember the old saying, "an apple a day keeps the doctor away?"
There may be more truth to it than you realize. To prevent and overcome illness quickly,
keep eating your fruits and vegetables and round out your diet with lots of grains,
low-fat dairy foods, lean meats, and plenty of water.
Readers may write Laura care of the Pattaya Mail with questions or
special topics they would like to see addressed.