Family Money: How not to make money

With major stock markets still somewhat uncertain, emerging stock markets erratic, interest rates having dropped - in some cases dramatically - the Euro coming into play next month and Sterling poised for a fall (according to some), many investors are either sitting on the fence wondering what to do with their money, or taking chances on short-term speculative forays. Into the SET, for example.

Last year’s worst, next year’s best?

Contrary to popular belief, most investors do not really want to make money.

Most give more weight to past performance than to the likelihood of a particular market performing well in the coming 6-12 months.

And many financial advisors pander to this preponderance for looking backwards by pulling out past performance figures of their favourite fund-of-the-month, urging investors to put new money into last year’s top performer, and studiously avoiding the touchy subject of current conditions and likely trends for the future.

After all, it’s much easier to ‘sell’ a client a fund which gained 25% over the past year than it is to recommend one which lost 25%!

But is this the best advice for the client? In many cases, no.

Always looking backwards whilst trying to move forward, you might get a nasty bump or fall down a hole.

But it really doesn’t matter too much, because historically, investors insist on doing the wrong thing anyway, just because it seems to them at the time that it’s the right thing to do.

In the 1980s a British investment magazine compared the best and worst performing domestic unit trusts over a five-year period. It concluded that an investor who bought the worst performing fund of the previous year would be up to 10 times better off than the investor who bought last year’s winner.

But of course, everyone buys winners.

Similarly, studies in the US of mutual funds for a five-year period through 1994 showed that the majority of investors in 450 of the best-performing mutual funds still succeeded in losing money by buying in and selling out at inappropriate times.

The former head of one of the world’s largest mutual funds commented that more than half his investors had lost money over a 15 year period - despite this particular fund having an excellent performance record during that period of around 17% compound annual growth in US$ terms.

The temptation to bale out at the slightest dip seems almost irresistible.

The historical facts

It is interesting to look back over the bumps and dips of the US market (which currently constitutes around 45% of the world’s stock market capitalisation), as reflected by the Dow Jones Industrial and S&P 500 indexes since they first started.

It seems that a "market correction" of 5% lasting for more than 30 days occurs about three times a year on average, while a downturn of 10% occurs nearly once every year, lasting on average for 30 days - and almost always between October 15th and December 31st.

A true ‘bear’ market (in which the market drops by at least 25% and remains negative for a minimum of three months) occurs on average about every three years.

Looking all the way back to the 1920s and the infamous Crash of 1929, there have been only four true ‘bear’ markets in the sense of remaining down by 25% or more for a full year.

The 1929 Crash itself was really a speculative bubble which burst, albeit dramatically.

Interestingly, it was a powder-keg situation of manic speculation using money borrowed from banks on little or no collateral (sound familiar?), and the fuse was sparked by a run on a small bank which the Federal Reserve chose not to support. This led to a mass panic, and the rest is history.

Had the Fed at the time acted wisely and promptly, the whole subsequent mess might have been avoided, and the Great Depression might never have happened. But back then they didn’t have Alan Greenspan at the helm.

Nevertheless, it may surprise some readers to learn that it actually took only three years for the US stock market to regain a positive position, and two more to recoup the losses.

In that instance, those that held onto their pre-Crash holdings (assuming an equal spread across all the Dow Jones industrials) would have made an average gain of 9.5% p.a. in the 10-year period 1929-39.

Following the end of WWII, there was a 15-month ‘bear’ market with a two-year recovery period. Again, holding onto a "basket" of DJ Industrials would have produced 11.2% p.a. average return in the period 1946-56.

Although the 1929 Crash is always uppermost in people’s minds, 1973-74 was actually worse.

Two years with drops of 25% and 33%; three years to return to positive growth figures, and devastating inflation to boot. (The European economies were also in deep trouble during that same period.)

Although it took five more years to recover positive territory, the 10-year period 1973-83 nevertheless yielded an average annual growth of 9.8% - largely due to 1982-83 earnings in small caps and large value funds, and major turnarounds in the then newly-emerging markets.

More fresh in people’s memories is the Crash of ’87 - another dip caused by a fairly major correction of an over-speculated market, and a negative over-reaction caused by panic selling following immediately thereafter.

At the time, Wall Street whiz-kids and "expert" news commentators forecasted the end of the world as we’d known it, and were predicting that the US housing market would crash, the Savings & Loans would all go bankrupt, everyone would stop buying or building homes (and live where?) and thus not take out any mortgages, and of course, buy no new cars.

This doom-and-gloom reactive thinking simply reflects the general "herd" mentality which allows emotions to override common sense.

It’s true that all those things did stop - for a few months. Then good old supply-and-demand took over once more, sense returned to the marketplace, and pent-up consumer spending drove S&L, housing, and car markets to new highs.

Stock prices did likewise, and by the beginning of 1990 the indexes were once more above the pre-Crash speculative highs - and on much sounder fundamentals.

Then at the end of 1990 came Saddam’s invasion of Kuwait, with of course the gurus once again predicting the end of the world.

Sure enough, the world believed them for a few months and stopped buying things, and sold their stocks, mostly at losses.

By 1993, however, everything was going wonderfully again. Investors were pouring money into emerging markets, and during the fourth quarter of that year, the market indexes of the ‘Asian Dragons’ - Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand - were rising almost vertically.

By Christmas everyone - even maids and taxi drivers in Hong Kong - had jumped onto this speculative bandwagon, as if it would continue forever.

(I remember I’d had a friendly wager with a colleague that HK’s Hang Seng Index would reach 12,000 by Christmas, and it did - on Christmas Eve.)

Clearly this was the time for professional advisors to start warning clients to get out before the inevitable happened. Few took any notice. Indeed, the markets continued to rise until Chinese New Year - and then the US Federal Reserve dashed everyone’s aspirations by unexpectedly raising interest rates in February 1994.

This caught even the big speculators (including our friend Mr Soros) with his trousers askew, forcing him to cover his bond positions by selling equities, losing around US$800 million in the process, and sparking a world-wide run.

This set off the now-famous ‘Flight To Quality’ of 1994-96, with the speculative money invested in emerging markets being diverted back to the traditional major markets of USA, UK and Europe.

This trend has continued to fuel the ‘bull’ markets of those economies with a wall of money up until now.

Yes, I say "now", because I believe the little glitch we saw a few months back in the US and Europe was largely sentiment driven once again, and just a pause while financial institutions sorted out the positions they’d taken on Russia, absorbed the losses, and regrouped.

This may not be what those wise commentators on Mr Turner’s TV news channel thought at the time (you know, the one that UBC thinks is the only one we need to watch because it gets their commentary to us quicker than the BBC? Never mind the accuracy, get the speed!) And how many of you reacted to their dire predictions by joining the selling spree?

Although it’s not yet absolutely certain, subsequent events seem to be proving them wrong, yet again...

Common sense ain’t too common

Most investors know that it makes sense to be contrarian. Contrarian to common sense, that is.

That’s why most buy in once the market’s gone up at least 50%, and sell out when it’s dropped at least 50%.

Most just cannot seem to grasp the simple concept that you buy in at bottom and sell out at top.

Add to this the fact that investors will buy almost anything on a whim or a fancy - such as last year’s enthusiasm for Russian stock market funds. (Or a go-go bar in Pattaya, or a house for the lithe young lovely you met last month who really truly loves you...)

Ironically, the funds which regulators deem to be the riskiest - hedge funds - are almost certainly the best bet, despite recent adverse publicity about one particular such fund in the US.

The interesting thing here is that investors who fully expect a fund to be volatile will be psychologically less troubled by a temporary price fall than those who expect constant upward movement, despite this latter expectation being naïvely unrealistic.

More importantly, hedge funds are typically structured such that the fund manager only gets an income when the fund performs well. Thus it is in the common interest of both manager and investor that he makes a profit.

Of course this arrangement is so sensible that regulators, in the typical manner of bureaucrats, have banned performance fees in a number of regulated jurisdictions (including the U.K.), thereby widening the motivational gap between fund managers and investors.

The bigger the better

In my experience, not just as a financial advisor but also as an investment portfolio manager, the bigger the investment, the less anxious the client.

High-net-worth clients (which is the financial services industry’s euphemistic jargon for rich people) seem to pay less attention to what their substantial investment portfolios do from month to month - let alone from week to week - than ‘small’ investors with just a few thousand dollars in play.

These latter avidly follow their funds and the markets almost daily, fret constantly, and trade frequently - or get their broker to do so, often against his advice.

Investors with portfolios worth several hundreds of thousands (or millions) seem generally less anxious about short-term corrections (which they fully expect, having a better understanding of how the whole thing works over the longer term), and pay greater attention to their portfolio manager’s advice, itself gleaned from the opinions and predictions of numerous other professional portfolio managers and institutional analysts whose very jobs depend on getting it right more often than getting it wrong. (As opposed to media commentators, whose jobs depend only on today’s ratings or circulation figures.)

Money of course is a highly emotive subject, and often people allow their emotions to cloud their better judgement. (Hence the purchases of houses for lithe young lovelies who in the vast majority of cases, if you really think about it, have little emotional interest in middle-aged, overweight, balding farangs who don’t speak their language and don’t understand their culture, other than the fact that he has accumulated a bigger bank balance than their whole family could earn in a lifetime...)

Similarly with stock market investments. It makes sense to approach the subject with a clear head, a grasp of how the whole thing works, some realistic goals in mind, and a well-planned strategy. And preferably, an experienced and objective professional advisor who will help you avoid the emotive pitfalls, and whose career and income depends on getting it right.

If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, write to Leslie Wright, c/o Family Money, Pattaya Mail, or fax him directly on (038) 232522 or e-mail him at [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.

Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments.

Successfully Yours: Walter Thenisch

Royal Cliff Beach Resort’s Executive Chef Walter Thenisch exudes enthusiasm and sparkle with a pride and passion about food, without any of the showmanship and pretension often associated with such high level chefs. Born some 40 odd years ago in Binn, a small farming community of 200 in the Swiss Alps, Walter traveled far and well before accepting a position here fifteen years ago. As Executive Chef he is now in charge of their six restaurants, creating a different style of cuisine for each one.

Walter Thenisch.

Walter credits his mother as his primary inspiration. "Mamma was a fantastic home cook. Our family of seven always ate well."

He left home, though, at fifteen to start his chef’s apprenticeship, explaining with a twinkle, "Fortunately I made the right choice. I had a dream to see the world. As a cook it is just a beautiful opportunity to travel everywhere."

After his 3 years apprenticeship in a small hotel he ventured further afield to join the Ramada group in Geneva. Walter worked his way up the ranks and left four years later as a sous chef. After a transfer to the Ramada in Brussels he heard of a position as chef in the Hyatt Bali, which was conditional on speaking English. Undaunted, after two months of intensive language study in England, he was on his way.

"That was a big jump. I spent two years there and the first few months were hell until I learnt about the Asian ways and the importance of ‘face’."

Walter’s next job offer was as chef in the Ramada Bangkok. "I was always making curry at the Ramada but I kept going back." He met his Thai wife, who was the secretary there, and they made a different sort of curry!

After two years in Bangkok a position at the Royal Cliff Pattaya beckoned. That was back in 1983 and now they have two sons attending I.S.R here. Although too young to know if they will be following Papa’s footsteps, I suspect they will not be allowed to leave school at age 15.

Walter is relaxed and companionable and is happy discussing any subject from travel, "Thailand is my favourite country of course," to economics, sports and the intricacies of creative cooking. Asked the impossible question, "Where does his creative inspiration come from?" he attempts to put it into words. "Inventing new dishes is like being an artist. Sometimes you sit and think and an idea comes, so you write it down and try it later. Simple crazy things, but if you get a good response then you know it works."

Walter’s dishes have the genius of simplicity and balance about them. The hallmark of a brilliant chef is a sauce or vinaigrette. Walter’s sherry vinaigrette is, like the man himself, distinctive. He shrugged off its perfection with an "Easy, just olive oil, vinegar and a dash of sherry." Like all true masters though, he was probably unaware that most of us, even given these hints, could never reproduce it in a lifetime.

In his time off Walter plays tennis and a little golf and goes swimming with his family, "but I do miss Switzerland’s skiing. Perhaps one of the few recreations Pattaya does not offer."

Walter’s advice for those who want to make it in the hospitality trade is predictably, "Work hard. Everywhere it is the same, nothing is for free. Dreaming is not success, you have to be realistic."

Success to him means, "Satisfaction in life and simplicity. The most important value you can have is being happy with yourself and your surroundings. I am happy." In these trying times it is great to meet a truly contented man. Walter certainly has the right recipe!

Snap Shots: C 41 Where are you?

One of the regular readers rang the other day with a photographic problem, so here’s an interesting little experiment to try - take the negatives from the last roll of film you had processed and put them into another photo processing shop for another complete set of prints. Now compare the two sets of prints. I will bet you that the two sets are not identical.

In one set the sky will be blue, and on the other set it will be white. In one set the people’s faces will be dark but OK on the other. The blues and reds will be different.

Pattaya Bay.

Now in theory this should not be so. The colour print developing and printing process is generally known as the C41 process (slides are done in E6 chemicals). With the "rigid" standards imposed by Mr Kodak and Mrs Fuji, the prints should always be the same. But they are not! Kodak and Fuji might be upset to hear this, but there are many photographers out there who are just not happy with the standard of photo processing in Pattaya. How do I know this? Because the local weekend photographers are ringing me up to complain and to ask me where to take their film. And you know what? I am having the same problems as they are.

The processing outlet which did a great job last week just seems unable to do it this week. The colour balance can be woeful. I’ve even had prints back with a score line down every shot. Thinking that I must have grit in the camera, I was about to pull the next film out and clean the transport plate in the camera when I suddenly thought "Let’s just have a look at the negatives." Sure enough, not a mark on them, so the problem was in their printer. Taking the prints back, did they care? In a word, no! So that was yet another photo processing outfit off my list.

So what can we (that is you and me) do about this? Well, I suppose that if you want to drop me a fax on 427 596 and there are enough of us, then I am prepared to present our case to Kodak and Fuji Thailand. Whether that will do much I am unsure, but at least we will have alerted the powers that be that we are unhappy with our lot in life.

Secondly, Let’s tell each other about any photo processing outlets we have tried recently that did do a good job! I look forward to seeing you in the fax machine.

Pattaya Bay

The best place to take shots of Pattaya Bay is from the look-out at the Naval Station at the top of Pra Tum Nak Hill. On a clear day you can easily see Laem Chabang.

To get an interesting triptych ("Whats that?" I hear you say! It’s where you mount three pictures together side by side in one frame) you should have a crack at showing the bay at three times in the day.

The first is obviously the first light of dawn. Take a few shots as the sun comes up. You can even do this with a point and shoot automatic camera.

The second shot is the warm afternoon sun, so take this one around 4 p.m. to 5.30 p.m. Again take a few shots as the sun goes down.

The last shots should be taken around 10 p.m. with the lights twinkling in Pattaya. This is more difficult, but try a 20 second time exposure around f5.6 to f4 and see what you get.

Enlarge all three to 10 x 8 and mount side by side. Good luck!

Modern Medicine: Stomach Ulcers

Stomach ulcers are very prevalent these days. In many ways they may even be a reflection on the life-style we lead. It would indeed be interesting to know if primitive man had this problem suffered by 20% of today’s population.

While still on the numbers game, the official figures indicate that Duodenal Ulcers are four times more prevalent than Peptic ones and men outnumber women four to one. These figures do not, however, match up with my feeling of what happens in General Clinical Practice, where Peptic Ulceration exceeds the Duodenal site.

So what is the difference between Peptic and Duodenal ulcers? Not much, is the simple answer. The difference lies basically in the anatomical region. Ulcers in stomach proper are called "Peptic" ones, while ulcers in the "Out Pipe" (the Duodenum) from the bag of the stomach are therefore called Duodenal ulcers. Nothing difficult there. An ulcer is purely a breakdown of the top surface of the lining of the stomach/duodenum, so nothing difficult there either.

So how do we get this breakdown in the surface lining? It isn’t like an abrasion on your knee when you fall over, it is more like an acid burn, which is really just what it is. You see, your stomach secretes hydrochloric acid, which is used to help break down the food you eat. In theory, there’s just enough acid to do the job and there is none left afterwards. Like all good theories, there is always someone there to prove it wrong!

If for some reason you produce too much acid (and that can be stress, spicy food or cigarettes), or if your natural protection is weakened (by harbouring a little bug called Helicobacter pylori for example) or your natural mucous (alkali) producing cells are a little on the sluggish side, then you can end up with "free acid" and the scene is set to break down the cells lining the stomach. You now have the makings of an ulcer.

It should be mentioned that certain forms of stomach cancer can also break down the lining. Not a nice thought.

The difficult bit comes in the treatment. It’s not like having a broken leg, where you can put it in plaster to stop you using it. You need your stomach, at least three times a day! You can’t put a band-aid over it to stop it being knocked either.

Up till a few years ago all we could do was give you some antacid (alkaline) mixture and lots of sympathy. Today we can do better, even to the point of turning off the acid pump with suitable pharmaceutical compounds. However, it should be noted that the exact cause for the problem should be winkled out. This may require an upper GI Endoscopy (that’s where you swallow the magic camera) to ensure it is just a simple ulcer. If you suffer from chronic recurrent indigestion, then I do recommend you talk with your doctor, rather than swallowing pills and hoping!

Dear Hillary,

I really don’t know what to do. My two children are smoking Marijuana! I’m in a veritable tizzy. This awful realization came last week.

Last week on a Saturday evening, my husband and I had a cocktail party at our house. Our two children had also asked if several friends could come and spend the night. We liked this idea, as we prefer our children not go out and be exposed to Pattaya’s polluting influences.

We told our teenage boys 15 and 17, that they could have friends over if they promised to stay upstairs and not disturb the adults.

This is when my suspicions were aroused.

That night, the party was in full swing and the children were upstairs being quite quiet. A bit too quiet for my taste. You know kids!

Well, I took a friend to the upstairs bathroom to throw up, as she’d had ‘quite a few’. The punch I’d made would have knocked over a Rhino. I’ll send you the recipe if you’d like.

Well, when we got upstairs, I heard this decadent ‘New Age’ music playing and smelled that smell. I can remember it from my days as a ‘hippie’. (Of course, I’ve reformed and that’s all in my past now.) I opened the door to the bedroom quickly and caught them smoking ‘weed’ as we used to call it.

I may have been a bit severe (well, I had had four glasses of that punch!) but I really did make some good points on the dangers of this type of behavior.

I don’t know if it will do any good. Even though I was quite angry (of course you understand I was a bit tipsy) they just smiled at me and began giggling.

Hillary, what can I do? I don’t want to be the,

Mother of ‘Potheads’.

Dear Mother,

This is indeed a problem. Did you remind them that Marijuana is illegal and that using it can lead to a lack of motivation?

It has also been proven that using it in large amounts can cause weight gain.

I do not advocate ANY type of illegal behavior, of which smoking Marijuana is one.

As to the situation on the evening of your shocking discovery, I won’t comment on it.

You may have to ‘figure it out’ for yourself.

I can’t give examples. But you could ‘set’ one.

Cheers,
Hillary

Khun Ocha’s Cookbook: Tomato soup with coconut milk and crabmeat

This recipe was given to Khun Ocha by Walter Thenisch, the Executive Chef from the Royal Cliff Beach Resort. Walter’s recipe drags the humble bowl of tomato soup from being just "another everyday soup" into the area of innovative cuisine.

This is the correct way to make tomato soup, even though Mr. Campbell’s might attempt a protest.

Andy Warhol, the man who made Campbell’s soup famous by painting one of their tins, was also the one who said that everyone would be famous for 15 minutes in their lifetime. Khun Ocha hopes that this recipe of Walter’s will give him the fame he deserves for this excellent recipe..

Ingredients (serves four to six, makes 1 litre) Onions (chopped) Leek (chopped) Celery stalks (chopped) Butter Tomato paste (5/1) Rice flour Tomatoes Chicken stock Bay Leaves Coconut milk Crab leg meat Salt and pepper seasoning Coriander leaves as garnish 50 gms 50 gms 50 gms 50 gms 50 gms 40 gms 500 gms 750 mls 1 gm 200 mls 200 gms Cooking method Sauté the Onion, leek and celery in butter. Add the rice flour and continue the sauté. Add the tomatoes and cook for 5 minutes. Now add the chicken stock, bay leaves and the tomato paste and cook for two hours over a low heat. Mix in a blender until smooth and season with salt and pepper to taste. Ladle into separate serving bowls, add the coconut milk and crabmeat and garnish with coriander leaves.

The Taste Test
Tomato soup with a well defined difference. The crabmeat imparts a slight seafood flavour, while the coconut milk adds that hint of the tropics. This is not difficult to make and the end result is something that no-one else has experienced (unless they have been to the Royal Cliff Beach Resort’s Grill Room)!

Be prepared for your guests wanting seconds.

GRAPEVINE

Animal Crackers: Internet Cats

By Mirin MacCarthy

This tale called "How to give your cat a pill" was recently on the Internet, and is hilarious and accurate enough to share. As they say in the classics, "Many a true word is spoken in jest."

“You think I', going to swallow that?”

Cat Medicine

1. Cradle the cat in your arms as though you were about to give a baby a bottle. Say to it soothingly, "I have a nice treat for my lovely little baby." Pop the tablet into its mouth.

2. Find a handkerchief and mop up your bleeding arm. Rescue cat from curtain rail and the tablet from under the chair.

3. Again firmly grasp cat in the bottle feeding position but this time hold its front paws down with the left hand and lean on the back paws with the right elbow. Poke the tablet into its mouth with the right forefinger.

4. Scream. Leave the cat on the curtains. Find an ice pack for your punctured fingernail and drink a bottle of beer to steady your nerves.

5. Say sternly to yourself, "I’m in charge here." Get a new tablet and grab cat. Tell it, "Now listen here Rastus, I’m the boss and you are just going to eat this." Open the cat’s mouth and shove tablet in.

6. Lie on floor and cry. Leave tablet in your hair and wipe blood off your face. Crawl to the cupboard and drag out a large beach towel.

7. Spread towel out on the bed. Attempt to centralize cat neatly lying on its back, with its head just over the long edge of towel.

8. Take a towel edge and firmly flatten its front legs against its stomach. Do the same with the back legs.

9. Now roll cat in the towel fast. To prevent the escape ‘claws’ it is useful to have a friend helping.

10. With friend holding almost smothered cat, grab the cat’s face with your hand and squeeze on the jaw hinges at both sides of its mouth.

11. Drop the tablet in, poke gently then quickly hold cat’s mouth shut. Hold the little darling still for several minutes to stop it spitting the rotten tablet right back at you. Congratulations, now just check for battle scars.

Pill Pushing

All of the above comedy routine can be avoided by demanding that the vet give the cat an injection instead. In most cases they can. Alternatively purchase (from overseas if necessary) a pet tablet dispenser. These are brilliant plastic plungers that take the pain out of D.I.Y vetting.

Auto Mania: Thanks, General!

By Dr. Iain Corness

For all those who waited with bated breath to see what GM is going to produce at the Eastern Seaboard Industrial Estate plant - you were told to wait till December 2nd at the Motor Show up in Bangers. Was it worthwhile waiting for?

We were shown a couple of LHD Zafiras, small Opels built on a multifunctional platform. GM also placed an advertisement in one of the other English language newspapers to publicly state their intentions to build vehicles at the new plant. Considering there will probably be at least two model changes between here and the year 2000 start-up date for our plant, the chances of our seeing those particular Zafiras charging out the door is pretty slim.

The new car from GM Eastern Seabord Plant.

However, the concept’s right for the ISIE plant. Build a small vehicle on a platform that can be used for a variety of products such as mini MPV’s, cars or even Sports trucks(?). In that way the plant can be reasonably flexible and adapt to market pressures as they arise.

Whilst some quarters feel I have "knocked" the General in the past for a perceived lack of decision (like that euphemism?), this is not the case at present. I do believe we have now seen a commitment from the world’s number 1 car maker to build vehicles here. The indicators all point towards an Opel, and the front runner has to be the Y2K Zafira or its equivalent. Roll on opening time!

The GM plant up and running, alongside the Ford/Mada Auto Alliance will do nothing but good for the Eastern Seaboard. General Motors, we salute you and welcome you aboard!

Caveat Emptor!

The piece on the traps involved with hiring motorcycles from the side of the road, and leaving your passport as security, brought forward some interesting responses. Seems as if the "Pay us large lumps of money or you don’t get your passport back" racket has spread to some of the jet-ski operators as well. You bring it back and get told that the damage wasn’t there before you took it out and you will have to pay up.

MGB Twin Cam.

Doesn’t happen everywhere, but the moral of the tale is NEVER leave your passport as security or as deposit for anything. If they won’t accept a photocopy, then move on. If they argue at that stage - imagine just how many legs you’ve got to stand on if there is a problem after hiring their equipment and they are holding the original.

All of the above also refers to hiring cars from roadside operators. You have been warned!

Autotrivia

The piece on the MGB Twin Cam certainly caused a stir in some quarters. There were even accusations that the engine pictured was actually in an MGA. Let me assure you, that the A’s had a very narrow bonnet aperture, with the carburettors (S.U.’s) under the edge of the sheet metal. To demonstrate even further, today’s photograph shows the "Factory" MGB in question with the 2 litre 5 bearing MGB Twin Cam engine in situ. Note the two 45 DCOE Webers feeding the four inlet ports through a fabricated inlet manifold. (Actually, this is the shot I wanted to publish last week, but misplaced the photo in the files!) The MGB Twin Cam was real! It was not an MGA T/C. In addition, the car was entered by the British Leyland factory and raced in the Production Sports class and log booked as a Production Sports Car by the Confederation of Australian Motor Sports. The "purists" may wish to deny it, but there really was an MGB Twin Cam.

Autotrivia Quiz

OK, so last week’s one was difficult. The "alternative" MGA Twin Cam engine was built by Austin Motor Corporation, the other main player in BMC. I have no idea what happened to it, or even why it didn’t get the nod. In fact, I only saw a photo of it sitting in the engine bay of an MGA for the first time this year. Perhaps we will find out more about it later. Any of the readers know more about this one?

Let’s get into the modern world for this week’s quiz. One of the largest motor vehicle manufacturers today is the Toyota Motor Corporation. There is a Corolla in countless garages all over the world and if there is ever a "world car" it would have to be a Toyota product. This company has been one of the success stories of the past twenty odd years. It is a family business. So here’s the question for this week - what is the name of that family? This is not as easy as it sounds, either. The first correct answer to be fax’d to 427 596 or emailed ([email protected]) to the Editorial Office will win the Automania FREE beer of the week. Best of luck!

Lotus Eaters

Have any of you noticed the lovely little silver Lotus Elan knocking around town at present? A beautiful mid-engined coupe. According to all the reports from the UK magazines, these things stick to the road better than dog poo to your joggers. In the interests of public education (and my edification) I have actually left a note in said Lotus Elan, suggesting that he might like to make contact. At the time of writing this column, the phone has remained silent... Are you out there? Ring!

The original Lotus Elans of the late 60’s were also magnificent cars for their year. One of the first "fibreglass" sports cars, they became very popular with the motor racing set with some of the later model light-weights dominating sports car racing for some years. Powered by Twin Cam Ford engines and very, very light, independent suspension all round, they were indeed a weapon. If you have one in your garage, don’t sell it. It is already worth a lot of money and will be even more un-affordable in a few years.

Some motor-noters have compared the Mazda MX5 (AKA Miata) to the original Elan, but they are really totally different. Perhaps a few words on MX5’s next week!

Fitness Tips: Health & Fitness of the Mind, Heart & Soul

By David Garred,
Club Manager Dusit Resort Sports Club

G’day Pattaya. It has happened again. I have received another email from a friend that was so beautifully written that I had to share it with all of you.

So Fitness tips this week again delves into the Health & Fitness of the Mind, Heart & Soul so that the body may keep developing.

Thought for the day: Happiness...

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are. After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favourite quotes comes from Alfred D. Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life".

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time... and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink, until you’ve sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching.

**The truth can only be discovered by listening to many voices.**

Again, A Big Happy Holidays To All

Carpe’ diem

Copyright 1998 Pattaya Mail Publishing Co.Ltd.
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260, Thailand 
Tel.66-38 411 240-1, 413 240-1, Fax:66-38 427 596; e-mail: [email protected]
Created by Andy Gombaz, assisted by Chinnaporn Sangwanlek.