HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:

Family Money

Snap Shots

Modern Medicine

Women's World

Heart to Heart with Hillary

Grapevine

Shaman's Rattle

Antiques, are they genuine?

Animal Crackers

The computer doctor

Social Commentary by Khai Khem

Guide to buying a large dog

The Message in The Moon

A Slice of Thai History

Family Money: Americans offshore

By Leslie Wright

“Americans pay tax on all their income.” How many times have we heard that excuse for offshore financial advisers not offering any form of financial planning to Americans?

The truth is that an American expatriate has a foreign income exclusion. For the year 2001 it was set at $78,000 and for 2002 it rises by $2,000 to $80,000.

The definition is that it must be income earned from services you perform in a foreign country, during a period your tax home is in a foreign country and during which you meet either the bona fide residence test or the physical presence test.

Passing the Tests

In order to pass the bona fide residency test, an American citizen must set up permanent ‘home’ in a foreign country - the key word being permanent. An American staying for long periods of time in hotels will not pass this test. It must be seen that your intention is to reside in the foreign country for the considerable future.

The physical presence test is much clearer. The US citizen must be physically present in a foreign country or countries for 330 days during a period of 12 consecutive months. It has nothing to do with staying in hotels or setting up home: it is similar to the UK system, based simply on time spent in and out of the country.

The 330 days away does not include the day of arrival or day of departure from the US, unless you pass over a foreign country before midnight that same day (e.g., flying over the UK on the way to Dubai).

There is one exception to the two tests and that is a ‘waiver of time requirement’. In short, this is when you have to leave a country due to war, civil unrest or similar adverse conditions. You must be able to prove that you could have spent the minimum time required there if it wasn’t for the adverse conditions.

With the tests being carried out by the American IRS, who look into more holes than a cheese quality control examiner, nothing is left to chance.

It has even gone so far as producing a table of likely countries that one could reasonably expect to leave unexpectedly due to sudden unrest. Be aware that having a few too many beers and upsetting the locals in Bangkok doesn’t count!

Nil Band Tax

Providing the tests are satisfied, an American is on his way to the first $78,000 of earned income derived from outside of the US being taxed at nil band. That’s a nice $6,500 per month tax-free. All starting to sound pretty good?

Slow down. The key words are ‘earned income’. Earned income includes amounts paid as allowances for living expenses, children’s education and family costs. These alone can sometimes eat the nil band away, leaving your average American actually paying tax on all of his salary. However, 60% of all US citizens will have income packages where the benefits fall some way short of the allowance and will therefore have tax-free income.

Tax-Free Funds

Another popular misconception is that Americans cannot invest in tax-free funds. So you’ve never heard of a 401K or an IRA?

I’m sure most American readers know and understand the 401K, the American corporate deferred salary plan that is usually established by large employers - but how many of you know about the IRA (the Individual Retirement Account, that is, not the Irish Republican Army, although the latter has been actively supported in he past by many Americans)?

An IRA is an account which establishes an umbrella under which assets may be accumulated on a tax-deferred basis. As with a 401K, it carries large penalties should the fund be withdrawn before the standard retirement age of 59 1/2 years of age.

The IRA is much more suited to the personal investor, with an annual charge of $100 every November as opposed to the mighty 401K that requires a minimum investment of $100,000 to kick it off.

But many Americans are not aware that there is nothing illegal about them investing in the typical offshore products that are popular in the international offshore market, from Guernsey or the Isle of Man - no matter whether this is on a regular or lump-sum basis.

These enable you to access a multitude of offshore funds in an administratively simple and cost-effective manner - and with no tax deducted at source.

The only proviso is that you are legally obliged to report these holdings on your 1040 annual tax form - and failing to declare them is a felony.

Snap Shot: Bring back hanging!

by Harry Flashman

No, not the death penalty style hanging, but hanging your own photo-art. Everybody who has ever taken a photograph has images worthwhile enlarging and mounting on the wall as photo decor. Yes, even you.

Take a look at the picture with this week’s column. Local amateur photographic enthusiast Ernie Kuhnelt took my suggestion to heart a month or so ago and had some of his photographs enlarged and then framed. Final step was to hang them in his stairwell and he even installed a couple of lights to show them to advantage at night. For very little real outlay, Ernie now has original photographic works of art displayed in his own house - and what is more - they are his own photographs.

Now Ernie would be the first to admit that some of the shots are not award winning standard, but they meant something to him, and when enlarged still give a satisfying image. The sunset shots in particular are very colourful and certainly pleasing to the eye.

So what should you consider when thinking about photo decor for your own residence? The first concept to grasp is that you are not producing a “family album” to stick on the wall. That is not art - that is a rogues gallery. Scrap all photos of all family, relatives and friends.

Wall art is art that takes up a complete wall - see Ernie’s stairwell again - it is filled to capacity. Now imagine 12 photographs of which 11 were predominantly of one colour, let’s say red, and one that was totally different, let’s say green. This would really stand out from the red background, would it not? No matter what the subject matter of the shots, you have made an artistic statement and transferred it to the wall - wall art!

So tip number 1 is to thumb through your pile of photographs and sort them into predominant colours. They do not have to be of the same subject. For example, you might have a brilliant red sunset, a red boat and a pair of red shoes. It is the colour that counts.

Taking that concept one step further you can sort your photographs into subject matter. Let’s imagine you have taken oodles of shots of elephants, then 11 elephants and one buffalo in the middle again makes a very strong statement. (The buffalo is alive and well and living in Surin?)

Now the ordinary snapshot size photographs are not large enough to use as wall art, unless you make a huge collage, a la David Hockney, so think about enlargements. 8x10 is the minimum in my book, and 14x11 is even better. For wall art, size really does matter! Now unless you are a very clever photographer, your picture has probably been taken from too far away, so there is the subject in the frame plus acres of free space around it. This is where you selectively crop and enlarge. Draw on the small print roughly where you want the edges of the new enlargement to be and the end result will be much better than the original small one. This is allowing you “post camera” creativity.

The next step is the expensive one - framing, though this is still very much cheaper here than it is overseas. There are a few framers round the ridges, there’s one in Thepprasit Road I have used or the one that Ernie used was in Naklua just close to the Belucky meat processing company. Try to select a “neutral” matt for around the photographs, and I do commend Ernie on his choice of frames. Nothing too elaborate to take your eye away from the photograph itself, so no heavy ornate gilt items, or the dreadfully “twee” frames with flowers, sea shells and the like, thank you.

Finally, just remember it is the effect from the entire wall that you are producing, so do not look too critically at one particular shot, the important thing is whether it fits into the entire scene.

Modern Medicine: Joint pains and jungle pills

by Dr Iain Corness, Consultant

Aches and pains in the joints and muscles are some of the commonest afflictions. Who has not twisted an ankle? Who has not noticed a certain ache in the knees after exercise? And who has not seen that as one gets older, there appears to be more aches and pains that flit from joint to joint with alarming alacrity?

Like all medical conditions where we cannot give the patient the “wonder drug” there is then a tendency for patients to try something else, anything else, hoping for the relief that conventional medicine has not promised or delivered. For the musculo-skeletal conditions, the “alternatives” are multiple, from magnets to mussels from New Zealand. But do they work?

The problem with the non-pharmaceutical mainline pills and potions industry is in unbiased scientific testing. The tablets that Roche, Parke-Davis, Bayer and all that lot produce are rigorously and vigorously tested. Not only do the drug companies have to show that their pills actually work, but they also have to show what side effects they can produce and whether or not they interact with other pills and potions to make explosive mixtures. The “alternative” lot have not had the same degree of scientific scrutiny.

There are those who will claim that because the pills come from plants, that the ingredients are then “natural” and therefore OK for us humans. This is poppycock. Extracts of plants and herbs are chemicals - and some chemicals can kill, that is why wild animals can die after eating the wrong bushes. So can you!

So let us look at a few of the alternative treatments and analyse just whether they are indeed efficacious. Willow Bark is one that is used for arthritis, because it was imagined that since the tree grew in damp environments, and arthritis was thought to be caused by “damp” then treatment with the bark was “logical”. The herbalists got the right answer, however, no matter how wrong the reasons! Willow bark does have an effect because it contains salicylates - more commonly known as aspirin! Other “natural” sources include poplar tree bark, black cohosh (a North American plant), pansies, violets and meadowsweet. Aspirin works!

Have you heard of Devil’s Claw? This South African plant has been studied to see if it has any anti-inflammatory action in arthritis. The small studies that have been done show no effect, but it is an analgesic (pain killer), so those people with arthritis do feel better when they take it. In fact, demand is now outstripping supply - but they would do just as well with a strip of paracetamol tablets. And cheaper too!

Another of the well touted treatments for arthritis is the green lipped mussel. According to the pundits, this form of treatment has had numerous clinical trials, and the same number of clinical failures. However, I believe they are quite nice steamed with ginger and shallots!

One other niggling problem with the “natural” therapies is that for musculo-skeletal problems, most of which are of a long standing chronic nature, even less scientific work has been done to see what happens when you take these medications for a protracted period of time. Until long term safety has been ascertained, I would counsel caution, and beware mixing pharmaceutical drugs and over the counter “alternatives”!

Women’s World: He says that I do things to make him angry. Am I blame for his violence?

by Lesley Warner

I was recently talking to a friend in London who works with battered wives and children. As she explained her job to me I became more shocked as I listened. I think it was the enormity of the problem rather than the knowledge of what happens to these people. I was under the misguided impression that this problem was improving with more women working and having their own transport to get out and about.

Even more disconcerting is that statistics point to England, Wales and Germany as the countries with the highest incidence of domestic violence in Europe. They are closely followed by Italy and Russia, with France and Poland coming in behind them. (All European countries have lower rates of spouse battering, rape and abuse than the USA). Feminist movements are now researching other sources, rather than just relying on police reports, and this is uncovering a lot more cases.

There are of course many women who do not report an incident to the police for fear of reprisal. They will more easily answer to surveys conducted by women researchers that they can be sure are on their side. In many countries, women are not encouraged to report attacks and in some, are actively discouraged. This means that the statistics given out are not based on reliable information so are probably way under the real figures.

It’s interesting to note that New Zealand, the first country in the world to pass equal rights for women, has one of the lowest general crime rates in the world and also has one of the lowest rates of violence against women.

In many countries, marital violence has been prosecuted only in very recent years - to mention only one example, marital rape was not considered a crime in England until 1986! It seems dreadful that it was such a short time ago and worth remembering as we criticize Latin or Islamic countries, some who are years behind us in economic development.

When a woman is at home with several young children and not able to get out she becomes an easy target. One never feels very beautiful, bright or active after a day of cooking, cleaning, washing, entertaining the children and trying to make ends meet.

Sometimes, women aren’t sure if they are victims of domestic abuse. Maybe you aren’t sure. Perhaps you haven’t been seriously injured - maybe your partner hasn’t hit you at all. If your partner does things that make you afraid and that isolate you from friends or family members, you may be a victim of abuse. The following checklist can help you determine if you or someone you know is abused.

Does your partner...

Constantly criticize you and your abilities as a wife or partner, mother or employee?

Behave in an overprotective way or become extremely jealous?

Threaten to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends, or him?

Prevent you from seeing family or friends?

Get suddenly angry or lose his temper?

Destroy personal property?

Deny you access to family resources like the car, bank accounts, credit cards, or control all finances and force you to account for what you spend?

Intimidate or manipulate you or your children?

Hit, punch, slap, kick, shove or bite you?

Prevent you from going where you want to, when you want to?

Make you have sex that makes you uncomfortable?

Humiliate, put you down, or embarrass you in front of others?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be a battered woman. You are not alone - their partners abuse millions of women each year.

Domestic abuse is a pattern of controlling and coercive behaviour, which can involve physical, sexual, economic, emotional and psychological abuse. It affects people who are married, divorced, living together, dating, or in a gay or lesbian relationship, and people from all social, economic, racial, religious, and ethnic groups. Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence, but women are by far the most common victims.

Yes, the same question crosses all our lips: why do they put up with it? Love, fear, despair - only those that suffer can answer.

Heart to Heart with Hillary

Howdy Hillary,

My name is Ken Bower and in Sept 1995 I married my present wife, Rattana Manatnok Bower in Banglamung. Lat is from Chiayaphum and is the youngest daughter of my Buddhist Monk. Our marriage has been the highlight of my life. My 4 kids and 2 grandkids from my first marriage adore and highly respect her. My sister, brother-in-law and all my friends here in the United States also admire her. I think the thing that makes our marriage so successful is that I have ALWAYS put her first in my life and she seems to have always put me first as well. I have NEVER lied to her, nor has she ever lied to me that I know of. We treat each other with mutual respect and love. I believe that any marriage that contains lying, cheating, me-first mindset is doomed for failure but I could be wrong. All I know is that life IS GOOD and I’m so very glad that my Thai wife is now a huge part of my life/family/future.

Ken Bower

Dear Ken,

After a rash of “hate mail” about Thai ladies, it is so nice to receive letters like yours. The important issue that so many broken-hearted men miss is what you have brought out in your letter. Mutual trust and respect is paramount for any marriage to succeed, never mind marriages between couples from different cultures. When you write, “I believe that any marriage that contains lying, cheating, me-first mindset is doomed for failure” is 100% correct - and that does not mean just from the girl’s side either, Poppets. If you want a wife who is faithful to you, she should be able to expect and receive the same in return. What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander too. When you are ready to truthfully give your all to a marriage, like Ken has done for his, you have a much higher chance of success.

Dear Hillary,

With all the letters you have been receiving recently such as Ordinary Lady (Vol X, No. 3) and Lonely Lothario (Vol X, No. 1) have you considered that it might be worth your while setting up a dating service as Lothario suggested? There appears to be no end of single males all looking for a suitable mate, and Pattaya certainly has enough solo females to be suitable partners. I am sure there would be plenty of people willing to give you a hand and select the ladies for you.

Desperate and dateless

Dear D&D,

The single males who write to Hillary are generally of the severely damaged variety, having suffered badly at the hands of some apparently avaricious female. These chaps do not need another game of ‘lucky dip’ at love, but need comfort, solace and a bank loan, not the ideal marriage partner unless you like getting a soggy shoulder every night. Likewise the ladies. If Hillary needed someone to vet the female livestock, I am sure there would be no shortage of volunteers, Petal. There are many standing in the queue in front of you D&D, as this concept has been put forward to Hillary more than once, you know. However, as I did with Ordinary Lady and Lothario, I make contact details available and it is up to the individuals concerned whether they wish to take it any further. Now then, D&D, what sort of lady were you looking for? The usual Miss World looks and the only daughter of a multi-millionaire (dollar - not baht) I suppose. No children, no buffaloes and no flowers by request. Oooohhh the thrill of the chase makes Hillary all goose-bumpy!

Dear Hillary,

My girlfriend’s family lives near Khon Kaen and she is wanting me to go up there and meet her family. I have only known her for a very short time, 10 days, and I am just a little wary of going on this trip. She says we will need a car because her village is some way out of town, so we cannot take a bus there. She also says that we need the car because we should take some goods up there for her family and we would not be able to take them on the bus. She also says that I should take some money up there to pay for my accommodation while staying at her mother’s house. Is this the usual, or am I being played as a sucker? Advice please, Hillary.

Kenneth

Dear Ken,

You certainly are being rushed headlong into the “Look Mama what I’ve brought up for milking”. Have you noticed you have a tendency to “moo” a lot recently, Ken? You should have - you are being trained as a cash cow, that’s why, Petal. Who do you think will be buying these large goods for the family? Your long time (10 days) girlfriend? Or you? Money for accommodation? Do you normally charge your friends when they stay with you for a couple of days? Are you charging your long time girlfriend to stay in your hotel with you, or are you paying her? I would think long and hard before going to Khon Kaen (or is that “conned Ken”)?

Grapevine

Shaman’s Rattle: The Food Dr. in the City

Last week’s article reviewed the impressive book “The Food Dr. in the City” where nutritionist author Ian Marber outlines a guide to staying fit and healthy in the city, the effects of toxins and pollutants, what foods will actually help chelate toxic heavy metals from our bodies, and avoiding lethal pollutants and toxins including alcohol and cigarette smoke.

This week’s article reviews Marber’s recommendations on which foods help detoxify the body and effective anti-ageing measures. As Marber points out, “detoxifying has become a buzz word lately and whole books have been written on the subject.” (One such book which I recommend and covers the same principles as Marber is Dr. Sandra Cabot’s “Liver Cleansing Diet.”)

Ian Marber explains the process of detoxification and the importance of the liver, which Dr Cabot titles graphically as “the major vacuum cleaner of the system.” Marber adds, “As we have seen, the liver is responsible for detoxifying substances as they enter the body. This multi functional organ is highly evolved and detoxification is but one of its many essential roles, including regulation of blood glucose levels, protein and fat metabolism, and storage and activation of important vitamins and minerals.”

Last week’s article mentioned toxins and their damage. Marber explains, “There are two stages in the breakdown of toxins into their constituent parts. The first stage by-products are free radicals, which can be quashed by (antioxidant) Vitamins A, C, and E in addition to the minerals selenium and zinc.”

Marber stresses the importance of eating fresh raw fruit and vegetables daily as well as nuts seeds and whole grains. “Consumed daily such foods can support the livers’ ability to detoxify more efficiently.”

Along with Dr Cabot, Marber emphasises the vital importance of water. “The role of water in the process of detoxifying cannot be over stated. Water is required in every part of the body, not least the kidneys which are elimination route for the livers detox processes. At least 1 litre of water and preferably 2 litres should be drunk daily. This does not include teas and coffee which can have a diuretic and therefore dehydrating effect.”

Coffee is not an effective hangover fix, folks, and is more likely to worsen the effects of over imbibing than to help. “Drink still mineral water whenever you can. Juicing vegetables and fruit is a delicious way to get the nutrients they contain in a liquid form that is highly absorbable.”

In a chapter titled, “Foods which help detoxify the body,” Marber states, “Ideally the liver must be supported so that its efficiency is not compromised. It requires a number of specific nutrients for optimum function, including methionine (from eggs, fish, meat, and milk); choline (from cabbage, eggs, chickpeas, lentils, rice, soy beans); thiols (found in onions, garlic, and cruciferous vegetables); and silymarin (Milk thistle) a herb that can be supplemented under supervision by a nutritional consultant or herbalist.”

Marber’s city anti-pollution programme is, “Drink 1 to 2 litres of water daily. Eat plenty of apples for their pectin content. Eat seaweed or sea vegetables at least three times a week.” Good news for Japanese food lovers. “Eat zinc and calcium rich foods” (see last week’s article). “Reduce alcohol intake or avoid alcohol for most of the week. Favour organic products that have not been sprayed with pesticides. Eat fresh foods and avoid packaged foods whenever possible. Eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables that contain (antioxidant) Vitamins A, C, and E, and the minerals zinc and selenium (found in broccoli, bran, mushrooms, whole grains and garlic) and keep your sugar intake to a minimum.”

Marber reiterates how damaging free radicals need to be matched by healthy levels of antioxidants and the importance of these substances in fighting disease and preventing the visible signs of ageing. He outlines 50 top beauty foods that contain these antioxidant vitamins and minerals “Vitamin A, beta carotene (found in apricots, liver, mustard greens, pumpkin, cantaloupe, melon, carrots, eggs, dark green vegetables, watercress and red peppers). Vitamin C (found in peppers, kiwi fruit, potatoes, blackcurrants, tomatoes, sprouted seeds, sweet potatoes, broccoli, papaya and citrus fruit). Vitamin E (found in eggs, almonds hazelnuts, sunflower seeds and oil, walnuts, avocado, wheat germ, olive oil and oatmeal.) Selenium 9 found in tuna, molasses, mushrooms, cabbage, eggs, liver, most seafood, onions, chicken and brazil nuts. Zinc (found in sardines, chicken, cucumber, eggs, tuna, potatoes cauliflower, carrots, oats and almonds).” It is a boost just to know we can include these ‘beautifying’ foods in our diets.

Smoking cigarettes, even exposure to second hand smoke, drinking alcohol, and skin exposure to sunlight can not only lead to disease that can kill but can also have hugely ageing effects, not only on the organs of the body but their damage is plainly visible on the skin. Over exposure to the sun causes skin cancer, also produces leathery lined skin. Why do Asian women and northern Europeans look much younger than their years? The answer is that they either do not expose their skins to sun or protect themselves by using shade or sunscreen.

Cigarette smoke not only causes cancer and asthma but causes the skin to lose its elasticity, hence wrinkles around the mouth. Alcohol abuse causes fatal liver and brain damage; also reeks its telltale damage of permanent red lines, spider veins on the face and bulbous noses. All good reasons to avoid these three pollutants as much as possible.

Ian Marber’s book, “The Food Doctor In the City” is a useful volume to have on hand. In it Ian gives a complete guide to staying healthy, beating stress, detoxifying and revitalising the body while enjoying city life, and clearly shows what foods to avoid and what foods to include in the diet in order to protect and detoxify the body. Additionally, it gives comprehensive nutrition plans, restaurant eating and business lunch tips and great recipes which allow you to choose foods that help protect from the ravages of city life. Enjoy. Marber can also be found on the web, www.thefooddoctor.com

Antique, are they genuine? Identification by technique

by Apichart Panyadee

A bewildering variety of techniques and machinery to improve glass production and give novel methods of decoration was patented in the 19th century. The dates of their introduction can be an invaluable help for identification.

Venetian Diamond Pattern

Apsley Pellatt and Benjamin Richardson introduced this pattern during the late 1840s, using compressed air to blow glass into metal molds. The finished effect was of a close diamond quilting with the crisscross ribs in fairly high relief. Other firms such as Powell’s later took up this form of decoration. But because of the idea molded glass is normally thought to be processes of the later 19th or 20th century, the pieces are often wrongly dated.

Acid Etching

The utility of hydrofluoric acid as a decorating medium was first realized in Sweden in the 1770s, but it was only in the mid-19th century that its full potential was exploited with the opening of acid decorating workshops. The process was two-part. First, the outline was etched and then a second dip in the acid gave the shading effects. Because the acid acts in a uniform way the shading has a matt, satin-like frosted finish with no appreciable grain or pitting.

Both vases are fakes. The small vase on the left is from a Damascus workshop. It has been dipped in acid to give a false patination. The jug on the right is probably 1920 or 1930s Venetian, and is a very good copy.

A variation of the technique became popular from the 1890s and is seen often on glassware made for hotels and shipping lines. Instead of the two-stage process a copper plate was carved with the required design. A fluoride etching paste was filled into the design and transferred onto the glass using tissue paper. The paste etched the glass very lightly, giving a clear if somewhat faint design without the deep linear outline of the first process. Top quality 19th century acid etching has not been faked as it is almost impossible to achieve the same quality of result, plus the fact that any modern attempt would cost far more than the genuine article.

In the 1870s engineering firms began to market geometric etching machines which led to the mass production of glasses decorated with linear patterns including circles and the Greek key. Since then many countries have capitalized on this quick form of decoration. Much of it has come from Belgium. It can be difficult to date these glasses because there is little difference in the fine quality in the actual etching. In the 1970s a great deal of Portuguese acid etched ware of very good quality appeared. The Stourbridge glass firms abandoned etching in the 1970s, preferring sandblasting as a decorative technique.

Sandblasting

In 1870 the American Benjamin C. Tilghman patented a sandblast machine which was exhibited three years later in the Vienna Exhibition. The patent specified, “A stream of sand or other abrasive powder, usually dry, but sometimes mixed with water, projected with more or less force and velocity to strike and pulverize the surface of glass, stone, metal and other materials upon which it is directed.”

Four mold-blown flasks made to deceive and acquired in the Middle East within the last 15 years.

First use of the sand blast was on window and plate glass. Then it was employed to mark glasses with the government weights and measures mark. From the 1880s it was used on cheap pressed tumblers with commemorative inscriptions. Even at low pressures the sandblast gives a very granular texture to the designs that is quite different in appearance and touch from wheel engraving or acid etching. Letters and numbers will show gaps where the ties in the paper stencil held the central portions of the characters. It is advisable to distinguish this technique as it is commonly referred to as ‘engraved’ in an attempt to give it an up-market image.

Animal Crackers: African Grey Parrots

by Iain Corness

I have been “willed” an African Grey Parrot. I say “willed” because he was left in my care and will be “willed” to someone else after I go, as they live well into their 80’s, so this one has another 77 years to go - more years than I will have, that is certain! He is called Nelson Mandela, because when he arrived in the family Nelson Mandela was the only grey African I knew of at the time.

As birds to look at, the African Grey is most disappointing. A medium sized parrot, it is not distinguished with a majestic stature. Colour wise, Nelson Mandela is also not spectacular, being a mottled grey colour all over, other than white across the eyes and a ridiculously small bright red tail. Compared to the Macaws or even Indian Ringnecks, Mr. Mandela is a very dowdy looking bird.

So why would anyone buy one of these undistinguished birds? And these parrots command huge prices overseas, and even fetch around 20,000 baht in Thailand. The simple reason is that they are the most intelligent parrots in the world, if not the most intelligent bird.

Along with their intelligence goes their ability to talk. There are a few misnomers to clear up here, however. As much as Mr. Mandela loves to chat with his audience (even the cats will do at a pinch) he is not really “talking”, he is mimicking. And he mimics exceptionally well. He can “speak” Thai, sounding just like Suchida, my maid. He can imitate my dark brown tones when speaking English, does a more than passable copy of horses hooves going down the street (we have a tourist horse and buggy ride just up the road), sings Happy Birthday and “meows” at the cats. All these sounds and words he picks up very quickly, in fact he mastered a particular whistle, done by a friend of mine, in less than five minutes.

However, the bird psychologists also say that African Grey Parrots are able to word associate, so have some understanding of what they are supposed to be saying. This I can believe, as when I go to leave in the morning, Mr. Mandela will say “Goodbye.” He will also “meow” to the cats when they walk through the room which contains his cage. This does not amuse either puss who associate feathered birds with fair game and dinner. These parrots have shown the ability to understand tasks and concepts such as same or different, absence, quantity and size.

Despite all this innate intelligence, the African Greys eat normal parrot food and Mr. Mandela loves sweet corn as well as his greens. He also craves human company and is very affectionate, but like most parrots has a fierce bite when he wants to. He is now on his second cage, having “eaten” his way through the last one. If you want one of these birds you will need a very sturdy cage, with a lock, as African Greys very quickly work out how to undo an ordinary latch.

As a pet, I can recommend an African Grey parrot, as long as you like your pet bird to chatter away to you all day. It is a sad time for both of us when it is time to put him to bed. The words “Goodnight Mandela” have him scurrying up to the top of his cage and looking wistful, but he is ready for his cover for the night. But the next morning after being uncovered, it is all “go” again for this amazing mimic.

The Computer Doctor

by Richard Bunch

Continuing from last issue when we began reviewing anti-virus applications, the theme is once again delved into this week.

If your anti-virus software detects a virus, keep calm and read the information it is providing you with, and refrain from clicking buttons without thinking first. It is probable that you will be presented with several options such as: ignore, delete, move to quarantine, and repair. Ignore is probably the most inappropriate action, repair is a good choice (the antivirus program will then attempt to remove the virus code from within the files thereby returning them to their original condition). If this fails then the safest bet is to move them to quarantine (this will hold them in an inert state pending further investigation).

You can check the vendors website for up-to-date information about the virus, sometimes a specific removal tool will have been posted while in other cases advice given for manual removal and repair. Occasionally system files will be un-repairable which will necessitate replacing these with ‘clean’ files, from installation CD’s for instance. Be mindful, though, that if updates and/or service packs have been applied the files you replace will be out of date and the updates/service packs will need to be reapplied.

Also bear in mind that many viruses will track across a network with ease so if your antivirus software detects a virus, yank out the network cable and contact the network administrator. Only when all PC’s are clean again should the network connection be re-established.

Overall, the best all round solutions come from Panda, both its products are highly recommended. Priced at $24.95 for Titanium and $29.95 for Platinum it is a viable option for most budgets. Check out their website www.pandasoftware.com

As a special bonus to readers of the Pattaya Mail, Panda is offering Titanium at the reduced price of $19.95 for an ESD (Virtual Licence). Readers wishing to benefit from this should use the following link (Please enter it exactly as printed in your web browser) - https://www.paypal.com/xclick/business=sales%40act.co.th &undefined_quantity=1&item_ name=Panda+Titanium+ ESD&item_number=PMTIT& amount=19.95

Although, here in Thailand it is possible to buy illegal copies of just about every software application imaginable, this practice cannot be condoned and can lead to various problems, not only with your PC but also attract unwelcome attention from the authorities. To ensure you get the best protection, technical support and product updates, use licensed software.

In the next issue we will look at other issues and resolutions that can prevent your PC being compromised.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or fax to 038 427 596 or e-mail to [email protected]

The views and comments expressed within this column are not necessarily those of the writer or Pattaya Mail Publishing.

Richard Bunch is managing director of Action Computer Technologies Co., Ltd. For further information, please telephone 0 1782 4829, fax 0 3871 6816, e-mail: [email protected] or see the firm’s website www.act.co.th

Social Commentary by Khai Khem

Youth is wasted on the young, and probably, so is advice

It’s that time of year when a lot of people have made New Year’s resolutions. Never one to run with the ‘herd’, I abstain from making promises I cannot keep; even to myself. I do, however, love to dispense advice occasionally, especially to young people, who are too inexperienced and naive to have discovered I rarely know what I am talking about until it is too late. I have a suspicion that inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out; some world weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who would rather be hanging out at the Mall. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among a captive audience of caps and gowns, but there is no reason we can’t amuse ourselves by bending the ears of the youngsters around us who are too polite to beat a hasty retreat.

For me, that chance came recently at a large family gathering at the home of an elderly Aunt. The occasion was her birthday and the whole clan had gathered for the celebration. At the great age of 75, she should have been the one who shared the words of wisdom with her young relatives. The fact that she retired for an early nap, not only proved how wise she was, but left me stuck there to entertain the kiddies. I didn’t have the heart to preach. To warn them about the lethal driving conditions on Thailand’s highways, to beg them to wear crash helmets while riding their motorbikes, or to wax poetically on the virtues of safe sex and the deadly dangers of AIDS would have spoiled the perfectly sanuk day we had all just enjoyed. I told them to wear sunscreen.

That one tip for the future was to educate them of the long term benefits of protection from the sun’s aging destruction to their youthful skin. Of course I also told them to enjoy the power of their youth and beauty. In 20 years they will look back at photos of themselves and recall in a way they cannot now grasp, how much possibility lay before them and how fabulous they looked. They will also see that they are not as fat as they imagined. Don’t worry about the future, I told them. The real troubles in their lives will be things that never crossed their minds to worry about; the kind that blindside you at 3 o’clock on a quiet Wednesday afternoon.

Don’t be reckless with people’s hearts, I added. And don’t put up with those who are reckless with yours. Waste no time on jealousy or envy. Sometimes you are ahead, and sometimes you will fall behind. The race is long, and in the end, it is only with oneself. Remember the compliments you receive, and forget the insults. Keep all of your love letters. And find a good place to hide them.

As the list of do’s and don’t grew, I knew that these young people should not worry too much about what they wanted to do with their life. Some of them will marry, and some will not. Of the group, there would be a few divorced at 35, and a few who would dance on their 50th wedding anniversary. Perhaps some would find wealthy spouses, but chances are most will not. I hoped some of them would get a chance to travel. That, of all experiences, seems to me the best way to broaden horizons. Thai children usually respect their elders. And they stay close to their siblings. They know that family members are the people most likely to stick with them in the future. As we grow older, we find that friends come and go, but a precious few hold on. I also told them not to read beauty or fashion magazines. These publications make everyone feel ugly. Well, readers all know what they say about advice. It’s a form of nostalgia; a way of fishing the past from the waste bin and recycling it for more than it’s worth..

Guide to buying a large dog: Saluki

by C. Schloemer

Good Points: excellent guard, good companion, healthy, intelligent, odor-free, reliable with children

Take Heed: strong hunting instincts, needs plenty of exercise

The Saluki, royal dog of Egypt, is perhaps the oldest known breed of domestic dog. A distinct breed and type as long ago as 329 BC when Alexander the Great invaded India, it is said that the Saluki may be as old as known civilization. The Saluki and the horse are prized possessions of the Arabs and the Persians. Capable of great speed, and able to keep pace with the fleet-footed Arab stallions, it is still used in the Middle East for hunting the gazelle. But in the West, the Saluki is primarily prized as an elegant companion, pet and show dog. Intelligent, but somewhat aloof, it is a faithful and gentle breed which is trustworthy around children. Care must be taken, particularly if the owner lives in the country, that the Saluki is kept under control. Despite its domestic role, the hunting instincts in this breed are strong and its speed is remarkable. Early training with leash and voice commands are recommended. Although the Saluki has a fair nose, this breed, like the Greyhound, is a ‘sight’ hound and a passing squirrel or a rabbit can send your Saluki on the chase. Blessed with good health, the Saluki has a hardy constitution.

Size: Height of dog should average 58.5-71 cm. Bitch slightly smaller.

Exercise: Salukis need plenty of exercise. Ownership should not be contemplated by those without a large garden and access to parks and other exercise areas. Apartment dwellers will be happier with another breed.

Grooming: Brush daily with a soft brush, and use a hound glove. Combing of ear and tail fringes may also be necessary, especially if the owner intends to enter this beautiful breed in the show ring.

Origin and History: The Saluki is said to take its name from Saluk in Yemen. But its likeness is portrayed on the tombs of the Egyptian Pharaohs, and recent excavations in the still older Sumerian Empire (estimated at 7000-6000 B. C.) have produced carvings of striking resemblance to the Saluki. Translations of the Bible reveal that whenever the word ‘dog’ is mentioned, it equates to Saluki. The nomadic way of life of the desert tribes brought the Saluki throughout the regions stretching from the Caspian Sea to the Sahara. Naturally the types varied in this widely scattered area, but only in size and coat.

Salukis were brought to England in 1840. A bitch owned by Sir Hamilton Smith, a dog in Regent’s Park Zoological Gardens, and one owned by the Duke of Devonshire at Chatsworth were the first. Since these three were brought from Persia, they were known as Persian Greyhounds. Little interest was shown until the Hon. Florence Amherst imported the first Arabian Salukis from the kennels of Prince Abdulla in Transjordiania. The breed was recognized by the British Kennel Club in 1922 and has since excelled as a fine show dog.

The Message in The Moon: Sun in Cancer/Moon in Libra - The organization man

by Anchalee Kaewmanee

The emotional insecurities of the Cancer Sun are intensified when combined with a Libra Moon. Hypersensitivity and emotional vulnerability are the chief impediments in the search for tranquility and peace. The self image of natives born into this combination is often a reflection of how others see them rather than how they see themselves. Observing carefully the actions and behavior of those around them, they often assume roles and attitudes which are not truly their own, but are frequently absorbed from others. Thus, these individuals have trouble finding themselves, since they are never sure who they really are. They become lost and assume roles and attitudes which are not true to their own nature.

Much of the confusion results from not doing what they really want. They absolutely must set their own goals rather than follow paths which are set down for them by parents, figures of authority or peers. Basically social, outgoing and congenial, the sensitivity of the Cancer-Libra and a fear of being hurt can cause this sign to erect barriers which shut people out. Often that desire for self-protection becomes a shield for true emotions. Natives of this combination are often shy, self-conscious, excessively introspective, and may even retreat into long periods of isolation. They really need to develop tougher skins and learn to roll with the punches.

Since surroundings have a lot to do with what sort of emotional state the Cancer-Libra remains, these individuals must learn to control their environment, rather than allow it to dictate their lives. That control over their environment will ensure that they are surrounded by a positive and supportive atmosphere.

This Sun/Moon sign must learn to speak up more and be more confident of their opinions. Opportunities seldom just ‘happen’ to anyone. It is vital that these people explore the various ways in which they can express themselves. Once they have gained greater self-confidence, they will be prepared to throw off those uncertainties and meet greater challenges.

This combination possesses a strong imagination which promotes creativity. All sorts of artistic avenues are open to the Cancer-Libra who has gained self assurance. An excellent diplomat and a natural peacemaker, he or she instinctively seems to know how to isolate sources of conflict and tension. Once these people have found harmony and emotional equilibrium they are capable of applying much social insight in diverse areas such as law, psychology, social work and human relations.

Longing to be needed, these natives are deeply romantic. The sentimental and romantic aspects of love are more important than the sexual inside an intimate relationship. The search for a partner who can give them the emotional support and encouragement may be long and hard. But to choose wisely is important for this combo since all too often these individuals will idolize their loved one, exaggerating his or her good traits and ignoring the bad ones. As with all people who idealize, conflict ensues when reality rears its ugly head. Therefore, the Cancer-Libra needs to adopt a more realistic attitude toward a lover.

A Slice of Thai History: The Opium Trade

Part Four 1940-1948

by Duncan Stearn

In the early stages of the Second World War (1939-1945) Thailand continued to receive its opium from countries like Iran and Turkey, but after the Thais sided with the Japanese Empire late in 1941, these markets were soon cut off.

However, in May 1942 the Thai Northern Army, commanded by General Phin Choonhaven, moved into the Shan States of Northeastern Burma and established its headquarters in the town of Kengtung thereby gaining access to the locally grown product as well as Chinese opium.

By virtue of their alliance with the Japanese, the Shan States were annexed and became known as the United Thai State.

Within a few months, nearly 37,000 kilos of opium had been exported to Bangkok.

The war had little effect on Chinese opium exports into the Southeast Asian region. The Nationalist Chinese, or Kuomintang (KMT), controlled southern China and, although they were engaged in a bitter war, the Chinese continued to sell large quantities of opium to the Japanese.

For the first time, the Golden Triangle region became a significant opium producer, increasing from just over 15,000 kilos in 1940 to 98,000 kilos in 1944.

As the war began to go badly for Japan, and consequently Thailand also, the Northern Thai Army was ordered to quit the Shan States.

Interestingly, a number of key Thai military figures who were to dominate the opium trade after the Second World War saw service in the Shan States.

With the surrender of Japan and the end of the war in 1945, the number of opium addicts in Thailand remained virtually unchanged from pre-war levels.

Considering the size and proximity of the market, it is somewhat surprising that there was very little poppy cultivation in Thailand prior to the 1940’s.

However, from 1945 onwards, the Golden Triangle region continued its massive expansion. The region was to become the number one producer of opium and its derivative, heroin, in less than three decades.

In December 1946, the United Nations-sponsored Commission on Narcotic Drugs passed a resolution calling for the abolition of ‘opium-smoking in the Far East’, invoking an article in the international drug convention signed at The Hague in January 1912. The Commission criticised Thailand for being the only country in the Southeast Asian region where a legal government monopoly still operated.

The Commission also passed a resolution calling for an end to non-medical opium exports as soon as possible. Iran, a major exporter to Thailand, had already passed a ban on opium production in April 1946 thereby forcing the Thai government to authorise poppy cultivation in the northern hills.

In November 1947, a coup returned Marshal Pibul Songgram to power in Thailand. The coup saw the rise of two powerful army cliques, one controlled by Colonel Sarit Thanarat and the other led by the Army Commander, General Phin and his son-in-law, Colonel Phao Sriyanonda.

Both cliques quickly recognised the enormous profits to be made from the opium trade and both harboured desires to take control of it.

In 1948, the Thai government announced the introduction of anti-opium campaign designed to end the smoking of the substance by 1953.

However, it soon became clear to the two controlling cliques that the opium trade was very lucrative and the anti-opium campaign was quietly abandoned.