AUTO MANIA

by Dr. Iain Corness
So what did we learn from Monaco

The first thing was that the TV programme director got religion this year because there were no long lingering close-ups of topless birds on yachts. Shame!

Heinz-Harry Frentzen

The second thing we got to learn from Monaco was that Mark Webber is head and shoulders above all the other “rookies” in the field. Why? He was the only one to finish, and if it hadn’t been for a puncture in the last few laps he would have been 8th, instead of 11th and was running strongly in front of both Jaguars. What happened to the others? Massa (Sauber) - crashed, Yoong (Minardi) - crashed (how strange!), Sato (Jordan) - crashed (how strange) and McNish (Toyota) - crashed. That has to say something. Sato managed to lose control of his when told to move over for his team mate!

Others in the retirement brigade at Monaco were Salo (Toyota) - crashed, Panis (BAR) - crashed, Button (Renault) - crashed, Raikkonen (McLaren) - crashed, while Montoya (BMW Williams) and Villeneuve (BAR) had mechanical problems.

What else did we learn? Well, Rooby Baby is South American - his frustrated launch at the ass-end of Raikkonen’s car was what I would expect of a novice, not a seasoned veteran, unless of course he is Brazilian!

Another fact learned from Monaco was that Heinz-Harry Frentzen is a damn good driver, and hustling the Arrows into 6th in front of Barrichello deserved the plaudits of the crowd.

And of course, the final thing we learned at Monaco is that it is a high speed procession enlivened only by accidents. It may be the most glamorous circuit on the calendar, but the actual race track is ridiculous for today’s F1 cars. Oh, by the way, there was a sign hanging over a balcony at Monaco saying “Fangio didn’t need team orders.” The sign writer must have been a person of passion, but with a very poor grasp on history. Fangio’s team mates were often pulled in to let Fangio hop into their cars on team orders and get the points.

The World Championship standings going into Canada are now:

1
2
2=
4
5
6

Michael Schumacher Ferrari
Juan Pablo Montoya WilliamsF1
Ralf Schumacher WilliamsF1
David Coulthard McLaren
Rubens Barrichello Ferrari
Jeson Button Renault

60
27
27
20
12
8
Natter, Nosh and Noggin

The car (and bike) enthusiasts will be meeting again this Monday night (10th) at Shenanigans Pub at 7 p.m. This is a totally informal meeting of like minded souls which meets on the second Monday of the month to discuss their pet motoring loves and hates. It is free to join and I suggest that you bring along magazines or photographs so that the group can get involved in the discussion. Generally we have something to eat while we are there and wash it down with something amber, hence the name, Natter, Nosh and Noggin. Just ask any of the lovely Shenanigans girls where Dr. Iain and the group are and they will point us out and give you a push. See you Monday 10th.

Alex Yoong wins a race (well, almost)

The weekend before Monaco is the ‘classic race car’ meeting and our Alex was down to drive a 1971 Lotus, which made the car older than he was. He led for 9 of the 10 laps, but faltered at the end and had to come second.

Alex Yoong

“I had a good start and was leading the race up to the halfway mark when the safety car came out for the marshals to clear a car,” Alex told his website. “Inexplicably I couldn’t get out of fifth gear while touring around behind the safety car. I tried my best to stay in front after the safety car pulled in with four laps to run but couldn’t do anything to stop being taken by the Tyrrell in the last lap.”

The race was won by Martin Stretton in a 1977 Tyrrell P34 with Yoong second in his 1971 Lotus 1972 five seconds adrift and Christopher Perkins third in a 1974 Surtees TS16.

What a shame! He almost won his first race in any formula as far as I can work out!
Autotrivia Quiz

Last week I mentioned a car built in the UK in 1957 called the Peerless GT. This firm began in the 1920’s reconditioning war surplus American Peerless trucks. Peerless in America ceased in 1932. What I wanted to know is what happened to the American Peerless factory? What did it become after car production?

The answer was that it became a brewery!

So to this week. Have a look at this photograph. This is an old Fiat and it took the world land speed record in 1924 at almost 235 kph (or 146 mph in the old money). It was driven by Ernest Eldridge who even had a passenger with him. The question this week, is what was significant about the venue?

For the Automania FREE beer this week, be the first correct answer to fax 427 596 or email automania@ pattayamail.com

Good luck!

Audi A6 2.4

Our Down-under correspondent, John Weinthal, has just spent some time with the new Audi A6. To say that he was impressed is putting it mildly. Knowing John as I do (for about 40 years), to wring praise from him is like catching the Interior Minister dancing in a girly bar after 4 a.m. Not easy! Here are the Words from Weinthal.

“The overwhelming impression left by this week’s test car is one of impeccable build quality. The classic style of the Audi A6, inside and out, and the quality of its execution put one in mind of a fine Italian suit. Here is a luxury car about which I have not one criticism - not a single feature I felt should have been done better, or done without.

Audi A6

“One might enjoy more power but there is no occasion when one cries out for it. Audi has bags more power available in its A6 range with two all-wheel-drive - quattro in Audispeak - models; a 2.7 litre V6 developing 142 kW and, right at the top, a no-doubt fire-breathing 220 kW 4.2 litre V8.

“Trust me, with its 2.4 litre, five valves per cylinder V6 which develops 121 kW, the test A6 performed admirably. Yet again one was reminded that some maker’s ponies are significantly less potent than others’. Clearly Audi’s are well-nourished, provided you feed them premium super fuel.

“The A6 is fully equipped with everything one might expect from the usual power gizmos, climate control air conditioning and cruise control through multi-stacker CD to electric sunroof and full leather cladding. About the only thing I might add could be satellite navigation.

Audi A6

“Here is a car which is comprehensively equipped but which requires no learning - no studying of handbooks; no frantic and potentially embarrassing calls back to the supplier. It is clear, stylish and logical in every operation. I cannot see the rounded exterior dating rapidly and the fit of each panel is of the highest order.

“Audi has a good reputation of course, but it tends to be over-shadowed in our market by two other Teutons; the ones with the three-pointed star and blue and white propeller badges. Good for BMW and Merc. There’s no argument that they are fine cars too - but the Audi is at least their peer.

“The Audi is also their match on the safety score with front and side airbags and side head level airbags, anti-lock disc brakes with electronic brake distribution, electronic stability programs and more.

“A brisk early Sunday run up Mount Tamborine emphasised the effortlessness of the Audi. While I slid the transmission lever across to manual mode to slip back a gear or two in the five speed auto for sharper corners, most of the time I was more than content to let the car do its own gear selection.

“The car’s suspension tends to thump lightly over broken surfaces - it’s just a noise but it mars by a fraction the Audi’s otherwise near impeccable refinement.

“This car makes no overt pretensions to sportiness, but acceleration from 0-100 kph in 9.4 seconds qualifies as brisk at least.

“What most impresses about the A6 is that it exudes a spirit of exacting rightness in every aspect. This results in a comfortable ride for all passengers with masses of head, leg and shoulder room and a rewarding time behind the wheel for the driver.

“Is it worthy of its near-AUD 80,000 price? When you look at others around that mark you had better believe it.”

And I can assure you that John Weinthal was not paid by Audi for that review.

Canadian GP this weekend

So the F1 circus has now moved across the Atlantic to the Gilles Villeneuve circuit in Canada. Despite the great drive from David Coulthard in the McLaren at Monaco, Canada is a track where passing is possible, so I do not expect the McLarens to be as competitive against the Williams BMW or Ferrari. It should be an interesting race, but at the time of writing this I have no idea what time it will be telecast here. Suggest you watch the notices in Shenanigans and join us at the appropriate time in front of the big screen. See you there.