HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:

Family Money

Snap Shots

Modern Medicine

Women's World

Heart to Heart with Hillary

Bits ‘n’ Bobs

Animal Crackers

Personal Directions

Social Commentary by Khai Khem

Roll over Rover

The Message In The Moon

PC Basics

Family Money: US Dollar and Sterling - a close relationship?

By Leslie Wright,
Managing director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd.

The stock market slide of the past couple of years has rekindled nervous investors’ interest in with-profits endowment policies. Steady growth, stability and investment security are seen as the principal benefits of these investment vehicles.

But inflexibility, under-performance, lack of transparency and incompatibility with the modern consumer are some of the criticisms levelled against with-profits endowments by heavyweights such as the Association of British Insurers, the Faculty & Institute of Actuaries, the Consumers’ Association, the Office of Fair Trading, and last but by no means least, the UK Financial Services Authority.

Several factors have worked against the with-profits concept, some of which (such as inflexibility and high surrender values) are the fault of complacent providers. But others are related to the changing investment climate rather than the product itself. In particular, the long bull market in equities that we have witnessed over the past 20 years, and the associated decline in interest rates and inflation, have tended to show the performance of with-profits funds in a poor light. When shares are producing double-digit returns year after year, a conservative with-profits fund will always look tame by comparison.

But many conservative investors like the concept of a relatively low risk diversified fund that smoothes out market fluctuations. Indeed, 10 years ago most individuals would have gladly settled for a 5% to 6% p.a. real return from a with-profits fund – especially as it came with the apparent iron-clad claim that investors could rest easy, sure in the knowledge that they only had to read their statements once a year and nothing untoward would happen to their money.

That comfortable illusion was dealt a severe blow by the Equitable saga. The Equitable with-profits fund is in fact no longer a with-profits fund, ever since the old board failed to insure or ring fence the fund against its reckless interest rate exposure on guaranteed annuity rates. But the Equitable experience is a one-off that ought by rights to have only limited relevance to the future of the with-profits concept.

Consistency matters

One should bear in mind that the only rationale for a with-profits fund is that it is a long term and relatively low risk investment: a tortoise rather than a hare. The irony is that the past two to three years should have been an ideal climate for the with-profits concept: volatile and overvalued equity markets are precisely the conditions when an investment that produces a steady, positive, real return year after year should come into its own. The latest performance statistics show that this is indeed proving to be the case (and of course the wisdom of hindsight).

Comparing performance over 10 years, the average with-profits endowment has produced a return of 7.5% p.a. against just 5% p.a. return from the average UK Balanced Managed fund and 7% p.a. return from the average UK All Companies fund.

Over 15 years, the results are more marked, with an average 10% p.a. return from with-profits endowments, 6% p.a. from the Balanced Managed sector and 8% p.a. from the UK All Companies sector.

Over 25 years, the results are closer together: the with-profits endowment showed an average return of 12% p.a., on a par with the average UK All Companies fund, while the average Balanced Managed fund produced an average return of 11% p.a.

Of course, the volatility of the equity markets over recent years has to be born in mind: it is the first time since 1974 that the stock market has fallen in two consecutive years. As a result, free asset ratios, or ‘spare capital’, held within life offices have dropped from ฃ130bn to just ฃ30bn during the last couple of years.

This money is used to pay out terminal bonuses on conventional with-profits policies, so a substantial amount is already spoken for. For actuarial reasons, falling interest rates make it inevitable that annual, or reversionary, bonuses will fall and that terminal bonuses therefore account for an increasing proportion of the value of the fund.

Some life offices would now be technically insolvent if they had carried on using the valuation basis that they were using 18 months ago. But this does not mean that a spate of liquidations is likely, nor situations such as that which hit Equitable Life a couple of years back. Some firms may close to new business; others will be paying much lower bonuses than in the past. Many of the largest life insurance firms no longer offer with-profits endowment policies; several now only sell with-profits policies on a unitised basis, and a mere 20 still accept new with-profits endowment business.

Nowadays the biggest threat to the with-profits concept is simply that most individuals can (at least in theory) create their own diversified portfolio of equities, bonds and property – if they have the interest, expertise, and access to the specialised information required to do so effectively. In addition (again in theory) it is possible to use derivatives to replicate the smoothing process – but that part of the equation is probably still too complicated to be a realistic option for the average investor. In short, it would be wrong to write off with-profits just yet.

Mortgage endowments

As to the endowments that many investors took out some years back to repay their mortgages, some have received notice that their with-profits funds have grown insufficiently to meet the objective. These investors now have to put more cash into the plan to make up the shortfall, or run the risk of losing their property to the bank.

But endowments were originally designed as personal savings plans, not as mortgage repayment vehicles. At the time when they first became popular to repay mortgages, interest rates and equity returns were high. Thus endowments were confidently expected to provide sufficient funds to repay the fixed sum mortgage and even provide a surplus.

However, interest rates have subsequently fallen, and so have investment returns. What did not fall was the original sum borrowed on the mortgage.

In an ideal world, people would have used money saved from falling interest rates to pay off part of their mortgage debt. But most people continued their mortgages at the original level. This was where it all went wrong; and the endowment product was blamed for the mortgage shortfall even though it was performing consistently well against similar investments that had been taken out as personal savings plans. The fault clearly lay with the investor, not with the plan.

Snap Shot: The best advice I ever got

by Harry Flashman

Nobody is born as a photographer. Certainly there are some people who have a better “eye” for detail than others, or a better sense of composition, but we all begin from the same point when we pick up a camera for the first time. The point of zero knowledge.

When Harry Flashman first began to show a professional interest in photography, the thoughts of entry into the “big time” was not planned in any way. I had a camera for snapshots, just the same as everyone else, and that was what I took - happy snaps! I was interested enough to begin reading the odd photography magazine, probably because they always had pictures of glamorous girls on the cover, and read that one of the best cameras in the world was called a Hasselblad.

A friend was going to Europe for a vacation and so I asked him to price one of these Hasselblad things for me while he was over there. A few weeks later he returned and came into the office where I worked and triumphantly placed this camera bag on my desk saying, “There it is! I got a real good deal and even got them to throw in the bag as well.” I gulped and asked how much. The sum was astronomical and I went pale. Fortunately my friend said I could pay him off in small payments and at that point I became a professional photographer. If I was going to pay it off, that Hasselblad had to work to bring in the instalments!

I had another friend who was a keen amateur photographer and he loaned me all his books on the subject. I read voraciously, as just about every bit of information you ever need about anything is written down somewhere. I began to take some photographs, and they were certainly as sharp as a tack. The Hasselblad lenses are famous for their sharpness. But the lighting? Ah, that was not so good.

I experimented with the light behind me, in front of me, coming from the side, the top, underneath, from anywhere. I bought floodlights from the garden shop and added them in as well. A flashgun was introduced and I began to get something that was, to my eye at least, quite reasonable. I showed some of the results to the assistant in the pro photo supplies shop, who by this time knew the contents of my wallet intimately. “Can’t say I go with the fruit salad lighting,” was his opening remarks. Then he looked at one print and said, “How did you get that effect?” I looked and wasn’t sure, and at that point, the shop assistant gave me the best bit of advice I ever got - and now I am giving it to you. He said, “Get yourself a notebook and write down the details of every shot you take. Read the notes as you look at the pictures and you will soon see how you managed to get any particular effect.” He went on, “That way you can always duplicate the effect for any other shot.”

Do not gloss over that advice, if you actually want to improve. Or if you want to be able to reproduce that great halo effect, or whatever, you need to know how you did it the first time. And the list of variables in photography is so great you will never remember two months later!

You must jot down the aperture, the shutter speed, direction of the light and what the light meter suggested (and that includes the camera’s built in light meter). You will get notes like f8 @ 1/60th, meter f16 @ 1/60th, sun behind subject. The photograph will turn out with a bright halo effect as the aperture is 2 stops wider open than the camera thinks it should be. And if you like it, you can do it all again, any time, anywhere!

It is the best bit of advice I can give you, too.

Modern Medicine: Is it Syphilis, Doc?

by Dr Iain Corness, Consultant

One of the correspondents to the Pattaya Mail has opened up a bag of medical worms! In fact, that should read “Spirochetes”! Khai Khem, a couple of weeks ago writing about the perils for the single man, gave the impression that syphilis was rampant in Pattaya and what’s more, it takes a year to clear up. Let’s clear that up first - it is not rampant and it does not take 12 months to get better! Sorry, Khai Khem!

Having said that, I am not suggesting that you take sexually transmitted diseases lightly. You do not want any of them. Repeat, any of them! However, returning to Syphilis, this was once the cause of huge epidemics, with all the various types of Syphilis being seen, including the final form, called “Tertiary Syphilis”. This disease is now so infrequent it hardly rates a mention in today’s medical schools.

Syphilis is caused by a bacterium called Treponema pallidum, AKA the Spirochete. The initial infection (Primary Syphilis, and nothing to do with your grade at school) causes an ulcer at the site of infection, generally on Willy the Wonder Wand. The disease goes then to secondary, latent, and tertiary (late).

The problem is that an infected person who has not been treated may infect others during the first two stages, which usually last one to two years. In its late stages, untreated Syphilis, although not contagious, can cause serious heart abnormalities, mental disorders, blindness, other neurological problems, and death. Not a bad result for one night in the hay!

While the bacterium itself is quite fragile, it is good at getting through minute cracks in the skin or mucous membranes. The infection is then almost always spread by sexual contact, however, a pregnant woman with Syphilis can pass the bacterium across the placenta to her unborn child, who may be born with serious mental and physical problems as a result of this infection.

So how do you know if you’ve got it? Look for a painless ulcer. These are called “chancres” and appear 2 to 6 weeks after the unprotected intercourse. If you are a heterosexual male it is generally on the penis, if homosexual around the anal region, and if female is somewhere around the vagina. Not all that easy to spot, either.

Now the worrying thing about this chancre is that it spontaneously gets better. Gets better all on its own. Whoopee! Unfortunately, while the lesion gets better, you are not rid of the bacterium, which then passes through your whole body. You then get a skin rash, called “Secondary Syphilis” with the palms of the hands and soles of the feet are almost always involved. Again, the rash goes away on its own in a couple of years - but the bug is still with you.

Now you reach the “Latent” phase, during which the afflicted person is no longer contagious. However, if untreated, 30% then go on to Tertiary stage, which is life threatening. A worry!

So how do we diagnose it, if you’ve missed the chancre? By blood testing. And the treatment? Intra-muscular penicillin, by and large. Within 24 hours you can no longer pass on the infection and you may consider yourself cured in two weeks. However, you always use a condom, so you don’t have to worry. Do you?

Women’s World: An error of birth (Part 3)

by Lesley Warner

When you have completed your transformation be prepared for all manner of reactions from family, friends and even strangers; also I’m sure some very personal questions. You will need to grow a pretty thick skin, but don’t let them get to you.

I’m sure those transsexuals out there that didn’t know it will be pleased to know that various research indicates that they have a high level of intelligence, which is currently unexplained, although there are suggestions that it may be the result of the unique and somewhat mixed brain ‘wiring’ of the transsexual, who may benefit from a combination of male and female structures or functions.

One of the biggest threats to any transsexual is other people. Especially those people who are not willing to understand what trans-sexuality really is, or confuse it with other things, or are just mean, or bigoted.

Unfortunately, sometimes by the time the transsexual gets round to the operation he’s already into the second half of his life. When an older person goes through the transition, it’s much harder to come out the other side looking like the perfect woman. This is because so many years have gone by where the person was exposed to the wrong hormones, and this changes the body making it hard to reverse.

Unfortunately, society demands perfection; anything seen to be different and less than perfect is considered a freak and life can be miserable for them. If they finish their transition and end up appearing perfectly as the sex they should have been, then they are simply accepted, even admired. This is very sad, because it is very, very hard to end up perfect, or even start off perfect, as most of us are aware.

Transgender is different. It’s a recent term and is essentially a word conjured up as a neutral label for any individual not conforming to common social rules of gender expression. This word does not automatically include homosexual people, who don’t necessarily have any issues with their own gender identification. Being homosexual is a different thing than being transsexual, though it is caused by similar means. In effect, being homosexual is being partly, but not completely transsexual. Only part of the brain gets changed, not the whole brain. If that same area is not changed in the transsexual, but everything else is, then the transsexual will be homosexual and transsexual. This could result in a Male-To-Female transsexual who despite being a female in side prefers other females. Such a person would be a lesbian, only look like a male on the outside. For the Female-To-Male transsexual who is also homosexual, they would look like a female on the outside, but inside, would have the brain of a gay man.

Transvestites, often now referred to as cross dressers, are not always gay or suffering a problem with their gender, some just like dressing up. They do not necessarily want to undergo sexual reassignment; it is purely a choice they make about how to dress. Like drag performers, the male half of which is sometimes referred to as “drag queens”, they are individuals who dress up as and use the mannerisms of the opposite sex for the purpose of entertaining an audience. A famous one was Danny la Rue (he used be a favourite with my gran), and of course Dame Edna. There are several these days, always very funny entertainers.

An inter-sexed person is someone who was born with ambiguous genitalia, so doctors assigned him/her a specific gender at birth. Sometimes this assignment doesn’t correlate with the biological XX or XY gender. These children are socialized as a certain gender, but as they grow older, they might not necessarily identify as they were assigned and would want to switch to the opposite gender.

Lady’s, aren’t you glad that you got the correct packaging when you were waiting in the queue, even if it is less than perfect?

Maybe we should learn to be a little more tolerant of the so-called “eccentricities” of others before we sit in judgment.

Heart to Heart with Hillary

Dear Hillary,

Since the love between an American Man and his computer will surely outlast that of his Thai girlfriend, Heart to Heart is an appropriate place for my advice to UN American and others. Obviously, electricity in Thailand is not to US National Electrical Code Standards. In practice, Thai electrical wiring isn’t to any standard, so one must go to extraordinary measures to protect his true love. In Thailand, you don’t need a thunderstorm to nail your prized electronics, the power company, phone company, and cable company can and will do your beloved harm at anytime.

While some see my approach as over kill, in 10 years of living in Thailand I have yet to loose (sic) a computer. I wish I could say that about girlfriends. My computers’ power system consists of 230 volt surge protector, a UPS, a 230/115 isolation transformer, then a 115 volt, top of the line surge protector from the States. All components are wired to a “true” earth ground. My modem also goes through a high quality surge protector.

My TV and Stereo (my first love) receives the same type of treatment with the Cable and Antenna Systems going through gas-type surge protectors commonly used on cable company Ultra high speed Thin Ethernet type computer modems. Clearly, this stuff is well beyond the expertise of your local Thai electrician, but there are a number of foreign electrical engineers around that can help with this type of installation. Your true love really is worth the extra money!

I’m presently building a new house and wiring it from the ground up according to US NEC standards, something everyone should consider when building or renovating in Thailand.

Pattaya “Beach” Bum

Dear Pattaya “Beach” Bum,

You have me bluffed, PBB. Hillary will stick to pen and paper as she always does. You don’t have to worry about supply problems - you can even write on the back of old envelopes! However, Hillary can also see why all your girlfriends have deserted you, even though you are trying to catch them with an “Ethernet”. With so many “surge protectors” you are not going to do anything impulsively, and with all the other re”volt”ing equipment your charge is probably dissipating, and you seem dead keen on “isolating” yourself as well so you could not be “true” to any girl on the “ground”, could you? I hope you and your new house will be a very happy “ohm”, Petal. May your diodes never fuse.

Dear Hillary,

I received the following letter from my Thai girl friend ...

“Sawasdee Teerak,

This month I have problem about money for payment for my room. about 4,000 B. I have no money for pay. Can you help me only one time. I know it not nice for talk about money but I really have problem I have no choice. I promise next time you come Thailand I will give back to you. I’m very sorry I made this problem for you. Hope you don’t think anything about me no good way. I feel no good I make this trouble to you. Hope you will understand me. I know it’s not your business. I know you have many thing to do. I understand that. If you can’t help me you can say no to me I understand. Telephone my room, call me on day time only. If possible can you send me when you get this mail, can you send me by the way Western Union it about 1 day I can get it. But you have to call me let me know.”

As I was so impressed by this heart-rending tale from such a genuine girl, I decided I should bare my soul also and I replied with the following email ...

“Hello Noi,

Thank you for your letter. I’m sorry that you are having a bad time and need money but I’m also in money trouble so if you can send me ฃ5000 I will pay you back when I see you, please forgive me I know this is not your problem but I need help please don’t think bad of me but I’m not in a position to help you out financially but I will give you my account number and Western Union is very good.

You my number 1 girlfriend.

Georgie

Account Number: 666richardcranium0b1
Pass word: Maytheforcebewithyou.
TSB - FARMERJILES BANK
Bulldust Lane, Imamug Street,
Youvegot tobejoking, London, UK.

PS. I love you long time.”

My question, Hillary, is do you think Noi will send me the money, or should I ask my other girlfriend Malinee? My letter is genuine, as you can understand.

Georgie

Dear Georgie,

I am sure that Noi, who is available only during the daytime, will be rushing down to Western Union as I write this, Petal. My advice is to pack a thermos of tea, because it gets cold in London, and your sleeping bag, and camp outside the Western Union office and wait. With the social welfare schemes in the UK, someone will take pity on you camping out and will give you a proper bed and some food. Whether or not you will get the 5,000 pounds from them is another matter, but don’t give up. Where there’s an internet café, there’s hope!

Bits ‘n’ Bobs

Animal Crackers: Blue Ringed Octopus - hazards for the unwary

By Mirin E Mc Carthy

The tiny blue ringed octopus packs a powerful punch for it size. This small octopus (Hapalochaena maculosa) is found in tidal rock pools around Australia, Papua New Guinea and the Pacific. Usually lurking in shoreline pools they are grey brown in colour when undisturbed and look like pieces of seaweed. It is only when they are threatened or taken out of the water that they turn a bright orange with iridescent blue rings.

Blue-ringed octopi are thought to harness bacteria in their salivary glands to produce tetrodo-toxin found in poisonous puffer fishes. Several human fatalities have been attributed to bites from these small octopi. By 1983, 14 cases of envenomation were recorded, of which 2 were fatal and 4 life-threatening. Usually the bite is painless. Most bites are caused by people picking up or accidentally treading on the octopus; it does not seem to ‘attack’ human beings.

Tiny Terrors

The tetrodo-toxin produced has a selective blocking effect on nerve action potentials. One average sized octopus (weighing 26 grams) has enough venom to paralyse up to 10 adult human beings. In the natural state the octopus secretes the venom in the general vicinity of its prey, and waits until it is immobile and then devours it. Alternatively it jumps out and envelops the prey in its tentacles and either bites it or just secretes the venom all around it while it is held. The powerful venom acts on the victim’s voluntary muscles, paralysing the muscles required for body movement and breathing.

I am not dead yet!

Bites are painless, though envenomed people rapidly experience paraesthesia (numbness of the extremities), tightness in the chest, difficulty breathing, weakness and paralysis. No cardiac or cerebral involvement happens and the heart keeps pumping, although the person may have fixed dilated pupils, be immobile and appear dead to the untrained observer.

Ultimately respiratory failure occurs, which will lead to death unless adequate resuscitation is started. Mouth to mouth resuscitation can keep the victim alive and the poison gradually wears off after 24 hrs, apparently leaving no side effects.

People who have survived such an experience talk of the terror of lying immobile and conscious while people around them are convinced of their demise.

Toxin and Treatment

The toxin has a short duration of action; however, the onset of complete paralysis may be rapid, i.e. under 10 minutes. If expired air respiration is given until the person is taken to hospital, the airway is controlled, ventilation maintained and good intensive care management instituted before the brain becomes starved of oxygen, then the outcome should be good. If there are no symptoms of systemic envenomation within 15 minutes of the bite, then usually nothing much happens.

If any signs of envenomation develop, a firm pressure bandage should be applied over the bite area (the same as the treatment for snake bite), resuscitative equipment and medical assistance obtained if possible, and the person should be transported with appropriate care to the nearest hospital.

Lesson

I am an avid beachcomber and once in New Guinea after a boating trip I carried an interesting small rock home. I was horrified to find I had been holding the highly toxic blue ringed creature the size of my thumbnail, in my hand for two hours. There is a serious lesson to be learned here for beachcombers, be very careful of what you pick up. Rocks, coral and cone shells are better left undisturbed where they lie.

Personal Directions: The “Call You Back” Syndrome

by Christina Dodd, founder and managing director 
of Incorp Training Associates

Have you ever had one of those weeks that has left you totally exhausted and drained just waiting for people to do what they said they’d do and - return your call! It is so frustrating, as I’m sure you’ll agree, when after numerous tries to get through to the right person, you are told that they are very busy and that they’ll call you back.

If you’re lucky and you’ve found a rather decent and efficient secretary, your call will be returned, but it’s becoming more and more the case that you’ll have to follow-up yourself. I really don’t know what has gotten into people these days. Telephone pleasantries and manners have simply flown out the window. And I’m not only talking about your smaller companies and businesses, those companies which are our so-called leading lights are just as guilty.

There’s no excuse for it. None at all. No matter who you are and what position you hold it is simple courtesy to call back - if that’s what you have said you will do! And if you are fortunate to have an assistant or a secretary to do it for you - then what’s your problem?

It seems to me that as some people climb the ladder of success today, they adopt a certain amount of arrogance along the way which they feel is their right - after all they are successful and at the top of their league. They have forgotten, or indeed did they ever understand, just how much effort and courage it takes to get through to a prospective client over the phone!

Losing touch with the ordinary man in the street is to my mind one of the major flaws a human being can have. Sure you may be very busy - but hello - most of us are! The people who call you are busy too! I’m always amused by the parroted and concerned response from secretaries, in particular, that their boss is very busy. As if I’m not!

So what happens here? How can we find a remedy for this? I’ve often felt like marching into various offices and singling out the culprits and giving them a piece of my mind. That would make me feel good - but then everything would probably go back to the way it was before.

What we really have to do is two-fold. Firstly, imprint in the minds of people around us the simple Golden Rule, “Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You” and secondly, help them shed their old habits and form new habits that are positive.

The Golden Rule is universal and requires no explanation - it only requires implementation in earnest. We are so keen on ensuring our children learn this rule and practise it rigidly to develop into good human beings, yet we don’t practise it rigidly ourselves. Somehow we think that because we are adults and all “grown-up” we don’t need to. We seem to think that because we are no longer children that we know everything and how to behave perfectly! Nothing could be further from the truth.

And as far as shedding old habits and forming positive ones, it is never too late to change. Regardless of our age or how old the habit has been, this can be done by awareness and using techniques that modify behaviour. We hear all the time that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. We are human beings, not dogs. Neither are we performing tricks. We can un-learn negative behaviour and learn positive behaviour. Attitudes are habits and can be changed. It is simply a question of breaking and replacing old negative habits with new and positive ones.

We all have a choice. We can ignore negative behaviour and hope it will go away - the ostrich approach - or face up to it and overcome it for life! Which choice will you make?

Christina can be contacted by email at christina.dodd @incorptraining.com or directly at Incorp Training Associates in Bangkok. Tel: (02) 6521867-8 or Fax: (02) 6521870.

Social Commentary by Khai Khem

Party on!

It’s interesting to see that our regional and provincial authorities have just noticed that Chonburi Province is; well, how shall we put it? We could say it’s in a state of disarray. We could also describe it as downright chaos. Chonburi now has one of the highest rates of street and road accidents in the nation. In fact, it’s on a list of the top three. That won’t surprise readers who have driven here or even tried to cross a busy intersection on foot. Take a good look! The truth is out there. Pattaya is a party town.

Of course there are lots of different types of parties. For example, the debutant ball in Dallas is a very classy affair. Pattaya is more like a Halloween party. Unfortunately the ugly mask it wears is not removable.

Why would anyone be surprised at the high rate of street and road accidents in our region? Traffic laws are a joke. Even if the police were inclined to enforce them, the whole city is so scrambled that even good drivers give up in despair and the rest are too drunk, too ignorant, or too independent to reeducate.

There are plenty of terrific places to go in Pattaya, but if one drives a car, there is no place to park. During the day, shopkeepers and businesses hang their laundry out to dry in the parking spaces. Now they’re digging up Beach Road again to gain 2.5 meters. After two or more years of the same stretch of road being impassable during the construction of the wastewater treatment system, they choose to do this now.

After dark Pattaya businesses set up tables and chairs in the streets because their shop-house establishments are too small to accommodate their customers. Those of us who drive down the sois in Pattaya in the evening thread through a parade of half-clad men and women who line the streets like strikers in a picket-line and flirt and hoot and beg us to enter their disco or beer bar.

To accommodate them, motorists would have to drive over the top of twenty Thai shills to get out of their cars to have a drink. The very creatures who are begging for our custom are standing all night in the parking spaces. Frankly it’s a zoo of such ridiculous proportions. But this is what makes Pattaya famous. Vietnam had cities just like this during the American war. The GI’s who were there will tell you Pattaya is not an original.

We’ve had 20 high-profile years of corruption, mismanagement, sleaze and notoriety. Now Rome must be re-built in a day. Forget it.

No one takes these ‘crack-downs’ seriously except the tourists. The plain truth is that Chonburi Province is in Thailand, populated by Thais and run by Thais. In the old days, Chonburi was a smugglers’ haven for pirates.

In the 70’s Singapore newspapers used to warn travelers to Thailand about the Wild West mentality of Chonburi and it’s notorious gangsters and assassins. Westerners who lived in Singapore came to Pattaya for scuba diving. (That’s when you could still find reefs and fish in Pattaya Bay; before the fisherman used dynamite as a lazy way to harvest their catch.)

Singapore is a tightly controlled gun-free state. Singapore residents who holidayed in Thailand used to laugh about the variety of guns lined up on the streets in Hat Yai like baskets of vegetables. Pattaya was more discrete; they pedaled them on the beaches like the handbags and fake watches that are hawked these days. ASEAN visitors all knew that the two most dangerous places in Thailand were Khampong Phet and Chonburi because that’s where all the ‘hit-men’ came from. But you know what? Thailand was safe then and in comparison with hundreds of countries around the world, it still is.

It seems these days street crime is rising, and drugs have become a plague. That may be true. But let’s be fair. Some things have improved. Back in 1990 when shoot-outs in South Pattaya between foreign mafia beer bar owners left huge farang bodies in the streets at dawn, we got used to it. Interpol finally came and cleaned some of the human garbage out, but nature abhors a vacuum and large holes tend to fill up again. Heck. What city doesn’t have its ups and downs?

Real order in a city of this size and diversity takes professionalism in key posts, and a sufficient budget to buy the best of whatever it is it needs to do the job. Social order also requires political will and cooperation from citizens. Do we now have the political will of our leaders? Will it come eventually? For without it, we will never gain the support of the populous. Thais don’t pay too much attention to politicians. Even Thais know actions speak louder than words. Thailand has had too many bad governments through the decades to believe in political promises.

Those of us who have been living in Pattaya a long time have seen many changes. Some of them were great improvements in infrastructure, modern conveniences, communications, and a huge leap in availability of goods and services. There have been some adverse changes too. Pattaya has an ugly reputation that will be very hard to reverse even with good leadership. But that’s no reason not to try.

I very much doubt that we will see more than superficial and cosmetic changes in the near future. In the long term, those who seriously have a different vision for Pattaya’s future may prevail. But Pattaya will always be a party town. That’s its Karma. It will never be a children’s birthday party. Trust me on that. The Mad Hatter’s tea-party may be the most we can hope for.

Roll over Rover: Voice Commands

by C. Schloemer

Leashes are fine for basic training and to correct some bad habits that owners would like to eliminate. However, most dog lovers do not intend to leash their house pets indefinitely. Teaching leads and other paraphernalia are instruments intended for brief periods of time, or when the owner takes the dog into public places. Training a dog to be a well-mannered companion is the eventual goal. A lot of owners complain that their dog behaves like a saint when he or she is on a leash, but once off the leash, Beelzebub takes over and their dogs become ‘hell on wheels’. This is where voice commands become vital.

Off-leash training

Dog owners often get trapped into chasing their rambunctious dogs once they eliminate the teaching lead. Since chasing is often a game or a big attention-getter, do not chase your dog unless you happen to be an Olympic sprinter and it’s just as much fun for you as it is for your naughty pooch.

A short leash can be a good transition from teaching lead to off-leash training and the length of the leash will be decided by the size of the dog. Eight inches will be best for bigger dogs and one or two inches for the small ones will do. A short leash reminds the dog that the owner is still watching him and it gives the owner something to grab if the dog decides to bolt or resort to other unsatisfactory behavior. It is only a reminder and when he is wearing it you can grab it graciously and give a little tug when he makes a mistake.

Basic voice commands

Dogs respond to the human voice. That is a fact. They don’t speak or understand English, Japanese, Thai, French, or ‘whatever’ but they are acutely intelligent and will comprehend simple voice commands in whatever language the human prefers to use. Since this column is in English we will stick to that format. What the owner needs to learn before he can teach his dog is that there is what trainers call ‘conversational technique’.

Training commands should be used conversationally throughout the day in order for a dog to get familiarized with different words which are used to evoke different responses. Basically, sit (Rover: the dog’s name), let’s go, sorry, wait, okay, no, settle down are your start-up commands. Repetition, consistency and voice control will help your dog learn all of these in a short time. I recommend that owners use them often during the day because the more often they are repeated, and the appropriate response is demanded, the sooner the owner has voice control over his animal.

Dogs are creatures of habit. Consistency is vital to eliminate confusion. To be a good teacher the owner must be predictable, clear and compassionate. Use the same commands in each appropriate situation and encourage everyone in the family to do likewise. Remember, dogs confuse easily. There is an old expression that says, “A dog cannot obey two masters”. This is not exactly precise. A dog can obey many masters if the commands are coordinated and structured and each member of the family uses the basic commands in a similar way.

Don’t forget, we are presumably dealing with an animal who is a family pet and needs some basic training or requires some small rehabilitation to get rid of bad habits and become more manageable. Praise will do wonders. Compassion for the dog is important. Treats, petting, and lavish praise are all effective tools a dog owner can use in any type of training.

The Message In The Moon: Sun in Virgo-Moon in Leo

by Anchalee Kaewmanee

Earth Angel

Virgos are virtuous, ethical and kind-hearted. Those with a Leo Moon are trustworthy and honorable. Combine the two and we get an individual whose naivety is completely charming.

These individuals may be babes in the woods, but their sincerity and eagerness to please makes them so lovable that people rarely take too much advantage of them. Of course these tender-hearted individuals should be a little careful. It can be a cold cruel world for a Virgo-Leo who lets their guard down too often. But basically this combination has the need to serve others.

Trusting and good natured, these natives are also very opened minded. They live by their own ethical code which modern society has mostly left behind. Their keen intelligence allows them to see that not everyone they meet will posses the same kind of high standards and integrity. It is imperative these natives learn to protect themselves against exploitation.

The Virgo-Leo is blessed with a zealous nature and much determination. Whatever they set out to achieve, they usually accomplish with gusto. This combination knows very early in life that they have merit and worth. They also know that only hard work and application will allow them to achieve their goals. They don’t mind working overtime, and rarely have to be reminded of the task at hand. Their high moral standards include not interfering with other people’s territory. These are not the sort of people who will stomp on others to reach the top.

Though dignified, these individuals are truly humble and in youth will seldom take full credit for all the wonderful things they do for others, or the many accomplishments they rack up. This may be why we often see the Virgo-Leo watch in bewilderment as others more cunning pass them by and win all the honors.

Modestly is all well and good. However, it would be wiser to gain a little more worldly wisdom. To stand up for oneself and demand recognition which is honestly earned is not egotistical.

In maturity this combination does learn to be a little less na๏ve in dealing with friends and associates. As these individuals acquire more self-assurance, they discover a strong independent streak which makes them less indiscriminately accommodating.

Although generally quiet and unassuming, this combo does have an impulsive and fun-loving streak. Always ready to listen to what others have to say, the Virgo Moon introduces an element that can be extremely autonomous. Therefore, we often see a strong creative urge in these natives. They will probably be drawn to very conventional and well-organized professions, and their living and working environments will usually be unremarkable and middle-class. Creative endeavors should be encouraged so that life does not become boring and routine, or these gentle souls could wind up completely stifled.

People are attracted to the innocence and charm of these natives. Even tempered, considerate and forgiving they accumulate strong, loyal friendships through the years and never lack admirers. It is not unusual for Virgo-Libras to have dozens of friends in which there is a life-long bond. They treat others with respect and tolerance, always ready to help out in an emergency, give wise advice and genuine understanding.

If there is a tiny flaw of which they may be guilty, it could be self-righteousness. Their sense of justice is acute, and there is a touch of criticism always lurking in their council. Those who are the recipients of this small imperfection of character do not always appreciate the lectures. However, a bounty of other wonderful qualities will make up for this small annoyance.

In romance, the Virgo-Libra is usually conservative and highly moral. Modern views of sexual mores confuse them and they can be easily hurt if they discover a lover has not been faithful. Their open-minded view of life does not extend to infidelity. Since they prefer giving to receiving they will feel betrayed and bitter.

In searching for a mate, this combo must be careful to choose a partner who respects the high moral ground upon which this native always takes. Once the Virgo-Libra does marry, he or she makes a wonderfully sympathetic spouse and parent. Stable and loyal, marriage makes the perfect arena in which to serve loved ones.

PC Basics: Mine is bigger than yours

Bay Computer Services

Do you know if you have an Athlon? Perhaps an Athlon XP or even an MP? Maybe you use a Celeron, or perhaps a P2 or P3? Or if you have an older system, you might even have a K6-2. Confused? Well, these are all different models of computer processor, and there are a lot of different types. If you are thinking of upgrading your computer’s brain, or wondering what it is capable of doing, please read on...

In your PC, the processor does the actual work. All the rest of your system is basically for sending and receiving data between the components and the processor. Essentially, all the different processors will do the same job; the real difference is how long it takes to do it and whether or not it can handle the amounts of data being thrown at it.

If you are mainly doing routine office tasks (email, surfing the Net etc.) then a PC running at 400MHz upwards should cope quite well. An Intel P2 or P3, and AMD’s K6-2 and K6-3 chips run from 233 Mhz upwards, and although they are relatively slow compared to today’s machines, they will still give a reliable level of performance. If you want to play 3D games, edit photographs, or do tasks which require a lot of number crunching, then a PC running at 700Mhz to 1.5GHz should be considered. Above that, well the PC’s are so fast that they will spend most of their time waiting for you to press a button!

Broadly speaking, your processor is measured in Megahertz. This simply means the number of calculations per second the processor is capable of performing. So the higher the MHz rating, the more powerful the PC is, right? Well, not exactly. One of the other measurements of performance is how efficient the processor is at performing its tasks. There are today two major manufacturers of processors, Intel and AMD. Intel, of course, produces the Pentium range of chips, and the cheaper alternative, the Celerons. Nowadays the best that Pentium offer are the P4 range. But if you were to look very closely at one of their processors (and had REALLY good eyesight) you would see that essentially a P4 processor is a Pentium 1 or 2 processor with lots of things added to it to make it work a lot faster. Intel went the route of sticking with one design and just making that design more and more powerful.

AMD, on the other hand, did things somewhat differently. When they decided to make a new processor, they redesigned it right from the ground up. In doing so, they were able to make it perform a lot more efficiently, by having it accomplish the same tasks as the Pentiums would do, but where a P4 chip might take six or seven steps to perform a task, the Athlon would complete it in one or two. So an AMD Athlon chip running at 1.4 GigaHertz will quite happily outperform a 2 GHz Pentium 4. It is only between these two processors that you have such a marked difference; all the previous chips from the two companies have largely been similar in performance.

So before you decide to upgrade, ask yourself what it is that you want to be doing with your PC; then look carefully at the alternatives before making your decision. In the end, if you just want email and the net, don’t waste your money on the latest processor, which will have all sorts of bells and whistles that you may never need. And don’t forget, your current processor may not be working at its best speed. Next week I’ll take a brief look at how you can get the best out of your current system.

If you have any PC related questions please send them to [email protected]