Mio’s team stretches their lead

Cafe Kronborg Monday Bowling League

Mio’s team remains on top of the Cafe Kronborg Monday Bowling League, and even stretched their lead with a 4-0 win over Jeed’s team. Mio received strong help from Udom who, bowling as a spare for Mio, rolled a 526 series.

From left: Kran, 220, 225, 628. Porn, 207. La, 202.

Tue’s team, currently in second place, had an off day and was beaten by Kran’s team 3-1. Tue bowled a 543 series, but this was not enough against Kran, who rolled strings of 220 and 225 for a 628 series, the highest series this season.

Bill’s team beat La’s 3-1, even with La bowling a 202 string and 522 series. Porn, bowling as a spare on Bill’s team, rolled a 207 string and 552 series in her first time back this season.

Good to see that scoring was back up after last week’s low performance, and with new bowlers joining as spares for all the holidaymakers, there was a good turnout this week with 19 bowlers.

The Caped Crusaders do it again

Lawn Bowls Division One

The Dutch duo (The Windmills) have done it again. The caped crusaders kung fu Frank and his sidekick Dennis the dark destroyer conserved their super hero strength by doing just enough to draw against the Cap In Hand Team, consisting of Steve (Mohamad) the streak and Postman Pete, giving them the first division league title.

Steve did his usual spanking of poor postman Pete’s small backside at every opportunity. There were bowls and mats flying everywhere as Steve the streak lost his cool. He had steam coming out of his ears as things were slipping out of control.

But Postman Pete kept his cool, sending good bowl after good bowl down the rink. It turned out to be an epic struggle ending in a 17 - 17 draw. In this scribe’s opinion, that’s the way it should have ended. Never mind Steve you came a valiant second and there’s always next season.

If the truth be known there was no losers as everyone had their moments of glory and all were winners. The rest of this week’s results were just as important, but all eyes were on the head of the table.

Match of the week: Cap In Hand V The Windmills

Team of the week: The Windmills

Player of the week: Postman Pete from The Cap In Hand Team

Results: Buriram Stompers 11 - Asylum (1) 17, The Dream Team 22 - The Hasbeens 10, Windmills 29 - Jan Bar (1) 6, Mistyfied Hammers 9 - The Yingyangs 24, Cap In Hand 17 - Windmills 17.

The Bogeyman Rules OK

IPGC TAGGS Golf from The Haven

Monday July 29 Pattaya Country Club (Stableford)

1st: Brian Kelly, 39 cb9 19 cb6 13
2nd: Graham Davis, 39 cb9 19 cb6 11
3rd: Trevor Edge, 38
4th: Phil Groves, 35 cb9 19
5th: Gordon Millar, 35 cb9 18

Whilst The Doc (Stephen Beard) was enjoying a spot of R&R in UK it was left to The Bogeyman (Brian Kelly) to hold the fort and take on the role of golf competition director. He started off in great style by holding off a strong challenge from Graham to win narrowly on a count back that went to the last 6 holes. A lot of weekend practise saw Trevor bounce back to form, also beating his handicap on a day when the poor greens proved too difficult for most of the field.

Phil & Gordon rounded out the podium positions with creditable performances. Due to the sanded greens it was not surprising that the 2’s was not won, leaving a nice carry-over.

Prior to the prize giving Richard Livingston, the resident PGA professional, welcomed back Max Arlen and bade a sad farewell to the bubbly Yasuo Suzuki.

Wednesday July 31 Plutaluang Royal Thai Navy Course (Bogey)
1st: Trevor Edge, 5up
2nd: Gordon Millar, 1up cb 2up
3rd: Graham Davis, 1up cb A/S

All the recent practise finally paid off for Trevor who shot a magnificent round on the East/West layout on a day when heavy overnight rain left the course quite wet and playing longer than usual. Indeed, all bar Gordon & Graham failed to beat the course. Only a few days earlier, Trevor had announced his target to win a competition by 31st August... Well he did it by 31st July and did it in style!

With a large carry-over on the 2’s it was not surprising that the field had the bit between their teeth and the pool was shared by Phil Groves, Vance Millar, Mo Bertrand & Graham Davis.

Friday August 2 Khao Kheow
(Stroke play)
1st: Klaus Schakt, 65
2nd: Graham Davis, 67
3rd: Serge Straeten, 69

For the third competition in the week, Graham was once again unlucky not to win, despite shooting a splendid 74 gross off his 7 handicap. This time it was the wily Klaus who found his form coming home with a brilliant 75 off the stick to take the honours. On a day of good scores on A & C courses these two gentlemen really outshone the rest, although had Serge not missed a rake of putts he may well have snatched the honours.

The 2’s were shared by Oradee Kaesanave and Gordon Millar.

Before the prize giving commenced Richard welcomed back Glyn Nicholas from a brief stay in the UK.

In Stephen’s absence, the post prize giving ceremonies during the week were a little quieter and subdued, perhaps because he didn’t leave his open bar tab behind!

The Flying Scotsman arrives at Phoenix

IPGC Pattaya Golf Society at the Bunker

If ever there was a course designed to be friendly and forgiving to its golfers it must be Phoenix. So it was to be on Tuesday, 30th July, when the Bunker Boys pulled in for their weekly medal competition on the Mountain and Lake nines.

There were two divisions, with the cut at eighteen and under and steaming in at the head of the top flight was the Flying Scotsman, Alexander Allan, seemingly not pausing for breath after his victory in the recent PSC tournament at Laem Chabang. His net 65 drew gasps from his competitors, especially Wilf Latham on net 68 and Bob van Mol with net 69, the latter only dropping three shots all day!

Similar scores were found in division two where John Rehm and Bryn Jones returned net 68’s, just heading Gordon McKnight on 69.

Surprisingly no two’s were recorded but the same cannot be said of the Bunker Banana Booby. Belgian Bob van Mol carelessly dropped three shots to the course off his handicap of six and left the Bunker, shortly to return to work, with a very fruity reward. One final thought, where else would you find a four ball comprising an Aussie, a Korean, a German and a Swede, not to mention elsewhere in the field a Japanese, a Thai, an Icelander and two from Burnley? At the Bunker, of course.

Thursday, 1st August, three-man team scramble at Siam C.C.
Winners were Alexander Allan, Wilf Latham and Roy Mitchell, scoring 63.9 with Harry Riley, Keith Fortt and Paul Hartley second scoring 65.8. In third place were the team comprising Len Jones, Keith Saunders and Des Walker, firing 70.7.

Triumphant trio at Green Valley

On Friday, 2nd August, a smaller than usual group of Bunker Boys took on the beautifully presented course at Green Valley in their weekly Stableford competition. There was only one division and at the end of the day there was a three-way split at the top.

PJ Redmond’s wicked Irish smile signalled his first Bunker victory in a long while. His 38 points was matched by George Meigh and Bill Jones, who suffered problems with his driving after five holes and piloted his buggy into a ditch. He was more accurate with his driving afterwards and fired his best round for a long time! PJ also secured the Bunker Super Sawng award with his birdie on the short par-three twelfth.

The ever charitable Mr Loy decided to have a banana free day - or was it maybe because his paltry 27 points would have been a serious contender?

Usa beats the course at Siam, finishes 1 under par gross

PSC - Three Sisters Golf

Monday the 29th was again a perfect day for golf. With an overcast sky and a slight breeze, the golfers from the Three Sisters were in their element. Scores plummeted to the lowest of the season. With the fairways at Siam Country Club cut and greens in halfway decent condition the golfers took advantage of the situation. With four scores at 40 points or better, you know it had to be playing easier than normal.

Usa won the bragging rites with a whopping 49 points at Siam Country Club July 29. Rollie Weese was left holding the bag.

Standing in at 40 Stableford points was Erle Kershaw. Erle played a tremendous game only to be passed up by “Bionic Man” Alan Pearce who came in with 42 points. Alan, playing with a woman golfer, was inspired by her play. Although Alan again played brilliantly, he in turned was humbled by “Big Bob Moberg” who came in with 43 points! (Bob Greenfield, get the hatchet and start chopping!)

In the end, all the guys did was to get chopped as Miss Usa Chaiyosit playing off a 12 handicap came in at 71 gross, thirteen strokes under her handicap (49 points). Usa had three birdies on the front with 2 bogeys for a gross 35 and played the back with one birdie and one bogey for a gross 36. (Total 71 gross) Alan Pearce who played along side Usa can attest to her abilities. Good shooting Usa!

Coming off a bad shoulder strain, Rolly Weese has not fully recovered as he shot a terrible round coming in at 18 points. Rolly will be practicing to ensure that he can climb out of the cellar on the next outing.

“Stone Cold Sober” Jimmy & “Slammin” John win at Golden Triangle

P.S.C. Golf From The Cafe Kronborg

Monday July 29 Natural Park Resort (Stableford)
This course for my money is the best-presented and most enjoyable course to play on the Eastern Seaboard. Whilst there are other courses with many different options, and maybe to the ‘pure’ golfer a greater challenge, this course will do most of us. So it is always with expectancy of a great day’s golf that the fleet sets sail for Natural Park Resort under Admiral Richardson, certain of good scores. Now if it were the Hills tissues would be needed for the tears.

After a hiatus of three weeks ‘Slammin’ John Swanson was back in the fold with a superb 42 points to win the B Flight at Bangpra.

As expected the course proved to be in excellent condition but as luck would have it the competitors had to contend with heavy winds and threatening conditions for this Stableford competition.

Despite the adverse conditions the players came up with some good scores and “Stone Cold Sober” Jimmy Flanagan came through with a very good 38 points to win the day. Second with 36 points was John Cahill, third with 35 points was Wayne Koch, in good form of late, and fourth with 35 points was the improving Joe Sebastian.

Thursday August 1 Bangpra (Stableford)
To most of the world the ‘Golden Triangle’ is an area somewhere North of Chiang Mai where they grow trees and poppies and if you go there it’s a bit scary and you need Rambo. But to the golfers of this area the ‘Golden Triangle’ has to be the three golf courses, Natural Park Resort and Hills and Bangpra, so close to each other and of such a high quality that to live close by and play them as home clubs is close to paradise.

To play two of the three in a week is a real bonus, as they say ‘It doesn’t get any better than this,’ so a real treat was in store for players as for the second time in a week they were playing the ‘Triangle’ on the tough but scenic Bangpra layout. The competition was in two flights: A 0 to 17 and B 18 and above.

“Stone Cold Sober” Jimmy Flanagan came through with a very good 38 points to win at Natural Park Resort.

The players normally rise to the challenge of this tough course and so it was this time with both flights being won by fine scores. The A flight was won by Dutchman Paul Jordan with 40 points, second was Peter Hall with 37 points and third was Rick Evans on 33 points. The B flight was won by ‘Slammin’ John Swanson, with a superb 42 points, nice to see John back in the fold after a hiatus of three weeks. Barry ‘The Gentleman’ Kerr won second place with 36 points and big Pete Galle was third with 34 points.

(Stone) Bridge over the River Kwai

IPGC Golf From Lewiinski’s - Orchid

Sunday - 28th of July Green Valley (Stableford)

1st A Flight - Nick Strasshine - 38 points

2nd A Flight - Stan Fry - 36 points

1st B Flight - Bob Lindborg - 41 points

2nd B Flight - Frank Sinclair - 37 points

Near pins: No. 2 - Jez Lees & No. 16 - Bill Collis

A slightly earlier start to the traditional Sunday Lewiinski fixture at Green Valley was required to allow the bulk of the field to depart for a four-day tour of Kanchanaburi/River Kwai. Despite efforts to spread the word around, a couple of the gang was caught unawares of this change and our apologies to them. That notwithstanding, the field enjoyed a brisk round unimpeded by either rain or by other traffic on the course.

The early finishers, and, therefore the leaders in the clubhouse, were nervously awaiting the final groups and their fears were justified. Nick Strasshine, playing off a demanding 5 handicap, was last out of the shower but his card reflected 75 off the stick to just “nick” Stan Fry. Bob Lindborg was much less discrete as he bombarded the field with a brilliant 41 points.

River Kwai Tour
Twelve intrepid souls departed directly from Green Valley to drive to Kanchanaburi Sunday evening. Despite a few wrong turns by some cars, a characteristic that was to rear its head several times throughout the tour, the troupe made it.

The next morning it was off to Nichigo Resort and Golf Club for a Day 1 stroke play competition. Pete Stonebridge wasted little time putting his stamp on this tour by carding a net 68 off his new 12 handicap on the Lake and River nines. What makes it all the more remarkable is (as you might recall from last week’s column that Pete was a 14 handicap two weeks ago) that he managed to remain unfazed despite two consecutive cuts to that handicap.

Day 2 was Stableford format at Evergreen Hills. Mike Phillips, who had suffered an uncharacteristically poor day at Nichigo, rebounded with what seemed like a very easy net 78, good for 40 points. Mike managed his excellent round despite two interruptions due to torrential rains.

Because everyone felt sorry that Pete had not won on Day 2, they voted to go back to Nichigo on Day 3 and play the River and Mountain nines. Pete, obviously touched by his fellow competitors concern, showed his appreciation by stuffing them once again with a net 70 in stroke play.

The overall scoring format for the tour was to give each player points for his finish on the day and then add them up after Day 4. First place received 13 (12 plus a bonus point), second 11, third 10 and so on, with the last three places, 10th thru 12th, receiving three points each. The concept was designed to keep the field bunched so that Day 4 offered intrigue for the uninvolved and put pressure on those in the hunt.

While the system has achieved those goals in the past, Pete’s nine point lead over Terry Summers meant that nothing short of the ol’ Tonya Harding treatment to his shins would stop him. One player, during an interview with the Kanchanaburi press, was asked, “What would he have to shoot on Day 4 to win?” He responded “Pete Stonebridge”.

Well Pete wasn’t bludgeoned and he wasn’t shot and he didn’t falter. He came fifth on the day and took the championship. There was drama aplenty throughout the field, however, as Muffy Kerr, Ray Matti, Mike Phillips, Terry Summers and Stan Fry all pursued the remaining three prize positions.

Playing the beautifully maintained Jack Nicklaus designed Mission Hills layout from the blue tees, Ray and Muffy both garnered 38 Stableford points, with the former winning the 13 first place points on count back. That dramatic result left the two, amazingly, tied for joint second in the overall. Mike Phillips claimed the overall fourth place podium position.

A grand time was had by all and there is high interest in returning to the area, and particularly to the challenging and beautiful Nichigo Resort and Mission Hills courses, especially now that we know the directions to the hotels, courses and back home.

Daily Results: Day 1 - Nichigo (Lake/River): 1st Pete Stonebridge (net 68), 2nd Terry Summers (net 72), 3rd Steve Mascari (net 72). Day 2 - Evergreen Hills: 1st Mike Phillips (40 pts), John Emmerson (39 pts); 3rd Pete Stonebridge (37 pts). Day 3 - Nichigo (River/Mountain): 1st Pete Stonebridge (net 70), 2nd Muffy Kerr (net 70), 3rd Mike Phillips (net 70). Day 4 - Mission Hills: 1st Ray Matti (38 pts); 2nd Muffy Kerr (38 pts); 3rd Steve Donovan (37 pts).

Chris John in full flight at Pattaya Country Club

With Seniors by far in the majority, Chris John came out the clear winner with an excellent ‘best of the day’ 43 Stableford points in the July Diana Group Seniors & Ladies Open at Pattaya Country Club. Jack Mosely returned 39 points to take the runner-up spot.

The Super Seniors did not fare quite so well with Arthur Bailey carding a par 36 points, and Terry Phur a short way back with 34 points.

Noonit Tawapee won the Ladies division with 39 points and the ‘ever present’ Usa Chaiyusit maintaining form with 37 points to be runner-up.

Andy Anderson and Ed Trayling had the longest first putts on holes nine and eighteen respectively, with near pins claimed by John Gibson, Lamud Chaidara, Don Antonio and Usa.

The weather was kind with a mainly overcast sky and plenty of wind. The course is undergoing maintenance now we are in the low season, but the greens that had been treated so far looked to be up to their usual standard.

Thursday August 29th is the date for the next Diana Group Seniors & Ladies Open at Pattaya Country Club. Singles Stableford (handicap qualifying), teeing off from 10 a.m. Sign-up at the Green Bottle.

PH3 Run 960

Well it had to happen didn’t it? Four months in Blighty, suffering the wind, rain and refugees and I get back to my beloved Thailand, land of sun, and sea to find ... Fon Tok ... and plenty of it. To rub salt into the wound (I’m into things like that) on phoning my quack back in the smoke I find its 30C! Since shaking hands with Mr. Malaria last year, I and the effects of the Angels being on the beer simply do not mix. Still onwards and upwards and after reaching a rather smokey A-Site it is good to see some old faces, Fini and Flying Frog among them who showed Flipper and myself such hospitality when we visited them in their home city of Kabul ... sorry ... Gent in Fabrique Belgique back in April.

After the usual preliminaries it’s a family affair as far as the hares are concerned with Mobile, Head Phone and Speedy doing the honours. Off we all traipse through thick undergrowth and around half-filled clay pits and semi-swamps and with the dreaded rain steadily falling it’s back to the A-Site inside twenty minutes. That is for some of us. Banjo deciding that it was easier to go off paper, found a small lake between himself and the A-Site. Loved it. Some of the FRB’s, realising what a short run it was, ran on for another twenty minutes or so. I personally suggested that we all did the run again, but no one seemed enthusiastic. I personally cannot remember the last time I finished in twenty minutes and was ready to do it all again, can you Flipper? What were you thinking of Mobile? Call that a run, Charlie Manson could have completed the course with one giant stride. Think it out more next time me old China Plate.

The GM calls the circle and it’s down to the lovely Dr. Pinky to draw the raffle. Sorry Pinky but you are no substitute for the lovely Ewok; even with those socks you obviously tea-leafed from Nora Batty. Quoting from Victor Hugo “Old men, Rich Men, Leaders of the land, see them with their trousers down they’re never quite as grand”. Yes it’s soggy “Derriere” time as always. The assorted Belgians first, dragged along no doubt by the promise of free beer and females without hairy armpits and full moustaches but seemingly not aware of the Hash tradition of buying a T-Shirt. After throwing some beer at each other they promptly left their scene of shame.

Birthday down-downs for Banjo and T-4. Sir Chicken has the circle and ices KBB who, after a motorcycle accident and subsequent refusal to pay for the damage, found himself a guest at the Chonburi Hilton for a night. Well, he is Australian. Maybe next time we can arrange for him to be held in a ship somewhere! Never forget aforementioned Johnny Foreigners, “To be born English is to win first prize in the lottery of life”.

Flying Sheep S is iced for bringing a virgin and getting him lost. Shame he cannot do the same with the bow-wow he brings along. My motto is “A dog is not just for Christmas ... it’s for lunch as well”. I’ve never seen one of our four legged friends who did not look better in a wok! When’s Drippy back? SS gives out a new Hash name, Wannabe Streaker. Uncle Fester celebrates his 400th run and keeping him company is Spunk Bubble toasting his 150th.

Speaking of mine host of the TQ2, T-4 and Sir Chicken are iced as it is deemed they are responsible for Spunk Bubble not getting his 100th run shirt two years ago! Well they should not have used T-4’s credit card then. Festering Streaker gets punished for eating bugs ... what’s the problem? Jazzer entertains us with his choir. Songs of Praise next lads, Oui!

The GM puts the hares on ice and considers giving them Hash S@#t. It’s a no-no. Mobile and family, how you got away with that I will never know. Belgians and Aussies get called up for ice duty as they are serenaded by Sir Chicken with an alternative version of the Scaffolds song “Lily the Pink”. Where do you buy this miracle stuff Chicken? Hash Hymn duly strangled and then it’s off to the Classroom to get totally “Im Lau” feasting on Stan’s excellent fare. If I have missed anyone out I apologise but as I always say “Faces and Fanny’s I never forget but Names are for tombstones.”

On On Free Willy