HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:

Family Money

Snap Shot

Modern Medicine

Heart to Heart with Hillary

A Slice of Thai History

Bits ‘n’ Bobs

Animal Crackers

Personal Directions

Social Commentary by Khai Khem

Roll over Rover

PC Basics

Women’s World

Family Money: Guaranteeing Your Pension- -Part One

By Leslie Wright,
Managing director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd.

Pension planning should be at the top of every family breadwinner’s financial priority list - but it rarely is. All too often immediate ‘needs’ push saving for a pension onto the back burner, and there it remains, forgotten about until your planned retirement date is fast approaching.

Then you finally start wondering whether you’ve built up enough capital to last for the next however many years you and your wife expect to live, and what options are available to you to safeguard your pension throughout your retirement.

If you’ve made adequate provision for your retirement, you’re OK. And in the minority. If you haven’t, you have little choice but to continue working (if you can find a job), or live off the state (if you’re entitled to a state pension), or hope some beneficent soul takes pity on you.

But if you’ve wisely made some provision for your Golden Years, there are several options open to you, depending on your needs and circumstances.

Onshore pensions

If you’d started up a personal pension plan while you were still working in the UK, you’re probably aware that you cannot (legally) carry on contributing into this whilst living or working overseas, due to UK Inland Revenue regulations which grant tax relief to onshore contributory pension plans.

Some clients have asked me about moving these plans offshore, where they might grow faster and without tax being deducted at source.

While this is theoretically possible, in practice it is extremely difficult, inasmuch as Inland Revenue permission has to be obtained to do so, and they require assurances that if such permission were granted, the proceeds would be invested into a comparable offshore pension plan with a reputable provider acceptable to the IRD.

In this regard, as some readers will already have discovered, the IRD would need rather more definitive assurances than a simple declaration from you - even if this were sworn on a stack of bibles.

In fact, they have quite an exhaustive (and exhausting) vetting procedure which has to be complied with and this process can take several months to complete.

My advice to clients with onshore personal pension plans, generally speaking, is to leave them alone, and draw down the benefits as and when they come due.

The procedure for transferring them offshore is too bothersome in relation to the comparatively small potential advantages.

However, there are options open to you as to what you can do with the proceeds - about which more later.

Corporate pensions

Many expatriates are entitled to a pension from former employers, but plan to remain offshore. If you’re one of these fortunate people, more practical options are available to you than those who are holding onshore personal pensions on which they’d claimed tax relief on their contributions.

In many cases, you may take a portion of your accumulated pension rights as a tax-free lump sum in cash.

This capital sum can be transferred by the pension provider into your bank account (onshore or offshore), and could be reinvested into a suitable offshore investment vehicle, which of course grows free of tax.

I say “suitable” because there are a wide variety of such investment vehicles available nowadays, and selecting an appropriate one for your particular needs and circumstances should be undertaken neither lightly nor whimsically, but only after careful consideration and, preferably, with the professional guidance of an objective financial advisor.

Some such alternatives will be discussed in this and the next fortnight’s articles.

But which investment vehicle might be suitable for your particular circumstances would depend partly on the amount in question, and partly on your draw down requirements - both of which factors will vary tremendously between one individual and the next.

Your age and family history will also have a bearing on how long you may expect to draw down your pension.

How much of the capital (if any) you might wish to leave to your heirs (if any) will also need to be considered; and appropriate estate planning then has to be considered as well. Especially the potential cost of UK inheritance tax if you’re in the fortunate position of leaving more than ฃ250,000 to a non-UK domiciled spouse or other UK-domiciled family members.

The remainder

Even those corporate pension schemes that permit you to withdraw a cash lump-sum usually retain a portion which would have to be paid out to you on a regular basis, starting either immediately or at some specific date in the future; and again, options are available to you on what to do with that.

For example, you may need it to support your family and/or your own lifestyle. In that case, having it remitted directly to your bank account (either ‘back home’ or out here) is the simplest solution.

Alternatively, you may have other sources of income sufficient to maintain your lifestyle, and not need to draw on this pension, despite its being paid out to you. What do you do?

You could simply leave it to accumulate in the bank; but at the moment this would earn a quite pathetic rate of interest.

One solution is to reinvest it into a flexible offshore savings plan which, despite the charges that would inevitably apply to such plans, would have the potential to achieve a better net growth rate over time than simple bank deposits, and grow tax free.

But this option should only be considered if you can take a reasonably long-term view - i.e., you are pretty sure you won’t need to access this accumulating capital for, say, at least five years. (Otherwise, the inherent charges and potential for volatility in the underlying investment funds might make this a losing rather than gaining proposition, compared with, for instance, offshore money funds.)

Then, if and when you do eventually require additional income, you could simply stop contributing into this savings plan and start drawing down on the new capital that’s built up in it.

But whatever you choose to do, most retirees’ primary concern is that their pension is going to be assured, and will last them throughout their lifetimes.

If you haven’t built up sufficient capital either through a corporate pension scheme or by amassing capital either in a personal pension plan or other forms of saving, there’s little that can be done, and you have very few options.

(To be continued next week...)

Snap Shot: Hot pictures!

by Harry Flashman

How do you take a photograph of flames? Harry has been asked many times just how do you take a photograph of naked flames. That is photographs of things on fire, not naughty pictures of old girlfriends! This then encompasses torches, flares, candles, cooking and the like. There really is no trick to this, other than a slow shutter speed, and if possible, make the flames the light source for the photograph.

The shutter speed should be roughly around1/15th of a second through to about one second for most “fire” photographs, because you will find that if you shoot at the usual 1/60th to 1/125th the flames disappear altogether. This is especially so if you are shooting at night or indoors and using a flash. The power of the flash “kills” the light from the flames and the wonderful candlelight shot turns harsh and stark white instead of the pale amber glow you were hoping for.

Personally, when taking fire at night photos, I set my flash on f 5.6, the camera also on f 5.6 and the shutter speed around 1/15th of a second. This is enough to show the flames in most circumstances, without overexposing the rest of the picture. Again this is a situation where you need to override an automatic camera and set the controls manually. I am fully aware of the fact that I harp on about this a great deal, but the “lazy” (automatic) way of photography will not give you spectacular photographs, and only by experimenting will you get the kind of results that make people sit up.

In the shot of the chef, this was taken at 1/15th and I knew that I was going to get a sudden burst of flames from the wok, so I pre-focussed the camera and made sure the flash was primed and ready. The flash burst took care of recording the chef’s image on the negative, and the slow shutter speed of 1/15th took care of getting the flames.

Did I use a tripod at this shutter speed? No, this is not necessary. The flash burst stops any movement of the man, and slight movement in the flames helps give a more solid look to the conflagration. You see, the flash has its output for thousandths of a second only, so this is why it remains a sharp picture, even at slow shutter speeds. Mind you, there is still a necessity to keep the camera as still as possible during the exposure. Don’t tempt fate too much!

Remember, however, if the flames are the only source of light (or the main one) then you will need a tripod for exposures greater than 1/15th of a second, and this is one time when you can set the camera on “A” for automatic and let it work out the exposure for you. But this is the only time!

Spontaneous combustion?

Received this little gem from Australia. Apparently the Nikon Coolpix 2000 has been recalled because of an overheating problem! The Brisbane Courier Mail reported the following story.

“One of the world’s biggest camera manufacturers, Nikon, has recalled its Coolpix 2000 model which can catch on fire during use. Product Recalls Australia has warned that severe overheating can occur within the battery chamber which can cause the outside casing to melt.

“Such heat might lead to injury, and under extreme circumstances might possibly lead to a fire,” the firm said.

“Owners are being warned to cease using the camera immediately and remove all four AA sized batteries. Nikon’s Australian distributor Maxwell Optical Industries managing director John Swainston said there had been 14 instances globally of the camera overheating - two of those in Australia.

“We became aware of it on Thursday, we ceased selling them five minutes later and they were largely off the shelf by Friday,” he said.

“Mr Swainston said about 1500 of the $600 cameras had been sold since they went on sale five weeks ago.”

Very Cool!

Modern Medicine: Screening. Is it worthwhile?

by Dr Iain Corness, Consultant

I am about to open a can of worms. Screening is such a hot potato, that perhaps I should change the title and start again! Medically we can carry out all kinds of mass screening tests and if we look at a large enough number of the population, undoubtedly we will turn up conditions that people did not know they had.

A simple one would be diabetes. If we took everyone over the age of 70 and looked for high blood sugar, we would probably turn up something like 8 people in every hundred with a diabetic tendency. That sounds great from the 8 people’s point of view, but not so great from the other 92 people’s point of view, who just spent money to find there was nothing wrong with them. You see, selling “preventive” maintenance is not all that easy. “Isn’t it great! You haven’t got disease XYZ!”

There is also another problem. Many people think that when they get a negative test back, this means that they are now guaranteed that they are not going to get disease XYZ. This is not correct. The negative test result just means that at the time of carrying out the test, all tested parameters were within “normal” limits. In fact, one of my more cynical colleagues used to say that all an ECG (EKG if you are American) showed was that at the time of doing the test, the patient showed signs of life! He was not really correct, I hasten to add.

Many of the screening tests we carry out are for cancer, the big C, Jack the Dancer and countless other nicknames for a group of conditions that have the propensity to make you claim early on your life insurance. Again, unfortunately a negative test does not mean you are now ten foot tall and bullet-proof. All it means is that at the time of doing the test we could not positively show that there was a cancer present. Next week it might just start to grow. Who knows?

So should we be doing these tests at all? Just save our money in a sock under the bed and take our chances in life? Common sense would tell us that we should not turn our back on medical science, no matter how imperfect it may be at this stage of the world’s development. I for one would rather know that currently I am well and that there are no diabolical medical problems apparent. I would also like to know if there were any signs of an impending problem - giving me time to do something about it. Even if there was only precious little time available - at least I would have time to tidy up my desk!

The advantage of regular annual screening is that if you were negative 12 months ago, but positive now, means that the problem is less than 12 months old. For the vast majority of conditions, including cancers, there is time enough to “catch it” and eliminate it or cure it.

While some of the testing may still be imperfect, it is still better than blissful ignorance. Wouldn’t you rather be given a chance to correct something disastrous, in place of doing nothing until it is too late? Screening is really an “early warning system” - a good idea in anyone’s books, surely?

Heart to Heart with Hillary

Dear Hillary,

I will soon arrive in Pattaya, which hopefully will be my new home. You seem to have an understanding of what is proper etiquette. Coming from New York City I want to make a good impression and do not want to “stiff” anybody when it comes to tipping. So my question is a general guide to tipping, realizing that superior or poor service requires an adjustment.

New York Ron

Dear New York Ron,

Hillary is most impressed that you are thinking about the local people and customs when you come to live here. For many people in the service industry, the salary is minimal and the workers need the tips to make the monthly toil worthwhile financially, just to stay alive and support families etc. So how much? Well, as you point out, the amount is dependent upon the degree of service, because that is what the tip is for - the service. Generally Hillary looks at 5-10% of the total bill, but it can be higher with exemplary service (such as bringing me extra pralines and making sure I have had the thick end of the bottle of champagne). However, if the service has been poor, minimal, or non-existent, then the tip is the same - poor, minimal or non-existent. I am sure you will enjoy yourself in your new home. You have the right attitude.

Dear Hillary,

I usually go to a beer bar during happy hours, have a few cold cheap drinks and contemplate what I will have for dinner that night. Thoughts of fresh Tasmanian oysters, followed by a saut้ed sea bass, garlic bread on the side and washed down with a bottle of Chardonnay. My mind then floats on to sweet yummy desserts. Before long the secretions in my mouth flow and I have to wipe the saliva from my lips. My problem is that the bar girls think I am drooling about them and interrupt my culinary thoughts by prodding my ribs, urging me to pay their bar fine. Not only are my dreams shattered, but I leave the bar with bruised ribs. Please advise me how I can best be left alone to enjoy my thoughts of sumptuous feasting.

Mighty Mouse

Dear Mighty Mouse,

You are a mixed up fellow, aren’t you, my Petal. You spend so much time thinking of a chardonnay lifestyle and you have a happy hour beer wallet it seems. But I can see why you only have cold cheap drinks during happy hours - Tasmanian oysters! You are spending too much money! Do you realise just how difficult it is for those poor oysters to swim up here from Tasmania (a small island that hangs off the bottom of Australia and where the Pattaya Mail’s yachting correspondent Peter Cummins hails from)? Buying Tasmanian oysters costs more than my month’s entertainment allowance, which you are blowing in one night (which reminds me, I must speak to the publisher - 150 baht does not go far these days). No wonder the girls think you are a good catch, whether saut้ed, deep fried or au natural on a bed of lightly tossed greenbacks. My advice is simple. Stop going to beer bars to salivate, but find a nice quiet nook somewhere where you can dream all on your own, before going out to trial the aphrodisiac oysters (something to think of - vitamin “V” is probably cheaper, Petal). By the way, if you need a partner to help you in these culinary soirees, I can be reached via the Pattaya Mail editorial offices. Of course my chaperone must accompany us, you do understand, don’t you, Petal.

Dear Hillary,

I used to walk along Jomtien Beach Road last year every morning for my daily exercises. It was always pleasant, I could choose between the footpath or walk along the sandy beach itself. Early in the morning, the beach concession guys had not yet put up the umbrellas and I could walk without hazards to negotiate on my stroll. I come back this year and Jomtien Beach Road is now a building site! I have to pick my way through between semi-finished concrete seats, piles of bricks, palm trees lying across the pavement, sections dug up and apparently discarded caterpillar tractor vehicles. If I go to the sandy beach side, after picking my way through the construction site, my way is blocked by forests of palm trees, newly planted, with supporting framework all around them. Has Jomtien decided it doesn’t want visitors to go to the beach any longer?

Walking Walter

Dear Walking Walter,

Hillary took time this morning to make a detour and look at Jomtien Beach Road, just for you, Petal. (You see, I do take your letters seriously.) You are right! The beachside is a mess, and Hillary for one would not like to risk a stroll along the seafront in case of turning my finely turned ankle. However, it seems as though the Pattaya City fathers do realise there is a problem (Jomtien is not self-governing yet). The previous building contractor has been replaced and the new people are getting on with the job. Try again in a couple of months; it should look lovely by then.

A Slice of Thai History: Perceptions: A view of Thailand in 1912 (Part One)

by Duncan Stearn

In order to gain an overview and a general insight into a nation or historical personage, researchers will usually turn to an encyclopaedia. By necessity, the entries in these sorts of works are fairly brief and generalising. While the information supplied can be enlightening, it can also lead to the stereotyping of a nation and its people.

In the early part of the 20th century, Thailand (then known as Siam) was little known to the vast majority of people in the West. It was seen as an exotic land and the following references and information about Thailand, published in the Catholic Encyclopaedia in 1912, make interesting reading today.

Drawing on a small but select bibliography that included a 1904 work entitled The King of Siam (Carter); Siam by Hesse Wartegg, published in 1899; and French publications from 1853 to 1894, the Catholic Encyclopaedia began its entry with:

‘Siam, “the land of the White Elephant” or the country of the Muang Thai (the Free), is situated in the south-eastern corner of Asia … It is bounded on the north by Tong-king and the southern states of Burma, on the east by Annam and Cambodia, on the south by the Gulf of Siam and the Malay Peninsula, and on the west by the Indian Ocean, and thus forms a buffer state between French and British possessions.’

It’s interesting to note the references to both ‘Tong-king’ and ‘Annam’, both of which are technically misleading. First, Tong-king, better known as Tonkin, was the northern state of Vietnam and was annexed by the French in 1883. Similarly, Annam was the central state of Vietnam and was also annexed by the French in 1883. Neither Annam nor Tonkin ever shared a border with Thailand. Tonkin’s eastern border was with Laos while Annam’s eastern border was with both Laos and Cambodia. It would have been correct for the encyclopaedia to refer to the Thai northern and western borders as being shared with French Indo-China.

And how the southern states of Burma managed to become part of the northern border with Thailand simply defies gravity.

The encyclopaedia continued, ‘From north to south Siam measures in length some 1130 and in breadth some 508 miles, covering an area of some 242,580 square miles … divided into 41 provinces. Its population is estimated to be between six and nine million inhabitants, of whom a third are Siamese, a quarter Chinese or of Chinese descent, whilst the rest is made up of Burmese, Cambodians, Laotines, Malays, Pegus, Tamils, and Europeans.

‘The Siamese are described as a polite, hospitable, obliging, light-hearted, pleasure and feast-loving people, as clever gold and silversmiths, possessing great taste for art and skill as painters, decorators, and carvers in wood, stone, plaster, and mosaic.’

One of the most interesting observations in the whole piece was the following: ‘They are, however, not fond of work nor is it necessary for them to be so, for they have few wants for housing and food, fire and clothing, and mother earth has endowed them with a perpetual summer and a fertile soil, yielding rich harvests of rice and pepper, whilst the mountains abound in teak and yellow wood, box and ebony, sapan and padoo. The chief commerce is in silk, which is carried on along the Menam [Chao Phrya] River and its numerous affluents and canals.’

I doubt a modern encyclopaedia would be so politically incorrect and bold enough to write that the Thais are, ‘not fond of work’.

Bits ‘n’ Bobs

Animal Crackers: Chipmunks - Asian Ground Squirrels

By Mirin E Mc Carthy

Chipmunks are small ground squirrels that live in forests, open woodlands, and brushy areas in Europe, North America and Asia. There are about 17 different species of Chipmunks which are divided into two genera, Tamias, the eastern chipmunk, and Eutamias, the western chipmunk. In colder locations chipmunks hibernate during the winter months. Attractive, very active, bright and alert little creatures, their curiosity often overcomes their timidity and even in the wild they may become tame and approach occupied buildings for food.

Description

Chipmunks are only 24 to 27 cm in length about two fifths of this is their long bushy tail. They weigh a tiny 28 to 142 gm. The various species all have reddish-brown fur, with white and black stripes on the back and long, furry tails. They are distinguished from other ground squirrels by their striped faces. Chipmunks have large cheek pouches where they carry food back to store in their burrows.

Burrows

They live in well hidden underground burrows where they dart back to with shrill alarm cries at the sight of danger. Many chipmunks dig extensive burrows which can be over 3.5 m long. These burrows often have more than one entrance and have extra chambers in which chipmunks store their extensive winter food supplies. Some chipmunks make nests in logs or in bushes.

These delightful comical little squirrels also occasionally invade attics and basements where they chew up everything, much to householders disgust.

Habits

Agile and independent, chipmunks are not gregarious and do not depend on their relatives. Except for its immediate family it is rather aggressive to its own kind. Usually older animals gather and guard their own food supply and spend their winters alone. Diurnal, chipmunks are active only during the daytime, especially late morning to afternoon.

Although not sociable with its own kind it may become friendly with man, often comes for food, sometimes even taking nuts and seeds from the hand. They are more playful than other ground squirrels.

Rather slow and quiet in most of its undisturbed movements, it instantly becomes exceptionally quick when alarmed or threatened. When foraging for food it usually walks slowly, wandering to investigate some small object, sometimes almost scurrying into a trot for a few seconds, and if startled darting back to its burrow at ten miles an hour.

Chipmunks give high pitched and continuous excited chirps when alarmed and leap and race for their burrows with their tails upright and flipping. They have three distinctive notes, a slow, low continuous ‘chuck-chuck-chuck’ which is a mild danger alert, a continuous ‘kuk-kuk-kuk’ for a song, and a high pitched, rapid, excited trill when it is fleeing.

It’s senses of sight, hearing and smell are acute, it loves plant bulbs and will dig up and eat all the gardener’s newly planted bulbs unless they are protected with hardware cloth mesh.

Diet

Chipmunks, like other ground squirrels, eat seeds and acorns of woody plants, nuts, grains, and fruit. Some cultivated grains such as corn, wheat and oats, seeds of weeds and grasses, wild fruits and berries, including raspberry, strawberry, blueberry, gooseberry, are all favoured, as well as the odd mushroom. They also occasionally eat insects, especially grasshoppers, cicadas and crickets.

Breeding

Chipmunks are sexually mature and breed when they are one year old. Mating takes place in spring, and after a gestation of 31 days the female produces a litter of three to five young. The babies are born blind and develop slowly at first, but after thirty days its eyes open and ten days later it rambles outside the den. When it is eight weeks old it is two thirds grown and begins to fend for itself.

Predators

Chipmunks are hunted by many animals, including hawks, snakes, foxes, weasels, and house cats. These small mammals have a life span of about 2 to 3 years in the wild, and a potential of seven years in captivity.

Next week: Chipmunks and ground squirrels as pets.

Personal Directions: The Greatest Gift

by Christina Dodd, founder and managing director 
of Incorp Training Associates

Man, of all the creatures on this planet, is probably the most ill-equipped in terms of his physical ability to survive. He cannot fly like a bird, he cannot outrun a leopard, he cannot climb a tree like a monkey, his vision is hardly that of an eagle, he doesn’t have the keen sense of smell his canine friends have and his tunnelling capabilities are far surpassed by the meekest wombat! He doesn’t have the claws and teeth of a tiger, can’t swim the depths of the ocean and can be killed by the tiniest insect in a split second.

Oh poor man! - we may say. But nature is truly reasonable and kind. Man may have missed out on the physical endowments to survive, but he was certainly rewarded with nature’s greatest gift of all and that is the ability to think.

Man can create his own environment, whereas animals adapt to theirs. And just take a look at the achievements of man and what he has created. Where would we be today if we didn’t have the ability to think, to create, to debate, to analyse, to question, to desire, to dream, to imagine, to aspire to greater things? Without the ability to think and indeed to cultivate the thought process in a positive way, the world would not be as advanced and progressive as it is today. We may still be rubbing two sticks together for fire and gathering wild fruits in the forest for Sunday lunch!

Thought, of course if channelled in the wrong way and against the natural laws of our society and mankind, can create untold evil and destruction. Our history is littered with the results that come from this and showcases only too well just how powerful negative thought can be.

Our brains and the ability to think are our greatest tool we have to build our lives. But a lot of us abuse this ability. We think we think, but in actual fact, we are only using a small percentage of our full capability. A lot of us think negatively as well and this can only lead to negative results.

One of the most valuable things you can do for yourself is to give yourself time at the beginning or at the end of every day to think - and to think hard about the day, or your activities, yourself, what you have done, what you need to do. To stop and to take time out to think is so critical to our life’s positive path that its importance cannot be stressed enough.

And of course the other aspect of thinking is “how you think about yourself”. Should you find yourself in a dilemma about the power of positive thought and its consequences, if you find that you are more of a negative thinker, then I invite you to read the following passage:

If You Think

If you think you are beaten, you are.

If you think you dare not, you don’t!

If you like to win, but think you can’t,

It’s almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost;

For out in the world we find

Success begins with a fellow’s will;

It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed you are,

You’ve got to think high to rise,

You’ve got to be sure of yourself before

You can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go

To the stronger or faster man,

But sooner or later the man who wins

Is the man who thinks he can.

The ability to think, and the way to think form the very essence of our existence. They determine whether we live a fulfilled and meaningful life or a life of hardship and struggle. Whether we progress and prosper, or regress and fail. Our success and happiness are totally at stake here.

Unfortunately we take this ability for granted. We don’t realize its full potential. When times are tough we think we have lost everything - maybe we have materialistically, but in actual fact we still have one great asset - the ability to think! This will pull us through no matter what. No matter how difficult the situation, if we utilize this ability and tap into our full resources we can overcome almost every obstacle that comes across our path. We can find alternative ways to deal with problems to bring about solutions. We only have to think and to think positively! This is the most important part of the equation.

Inside each of us there are tremendous abilities that we haven’t even begun to use. We really only use twenty percent of our full capabilities. The rest are hidden and lay hidden because of all the barriers “about ourselves” that we build. If we consider ourselves and everything that we do in a negative light, then the abilities within us will never surface. But if we consider ourselves and everything that we do in a positive light, then this will help us to draw on the full potential of all our hidden and dormant abilities because positive thinking breaks down the barriers we build!

When man finds the way to use his capabilities to the full, through the power of thought and positive thinking, then there is very little that can hold him back. The “greatest gift” can light a fire in the hearts of all who desire to achieve and to have a better, more purposeful and fulfilling life. There’s no end to the stairway, no end to the rainbow, no end to the stars!

Think about it!

Have a great week!

Christina can be contacted by email at christina.dodd @incorptraining.com or directly at Incorp Training Associates in Bangkok Tel: (02) 6521867-8 or Fax: (02) 6521870. Programs and services can be found at In corp’s website www.incorp training.com

Social Commentary by Khai Khem

Did you ever have ‘one of those’ days?

I recently had a young man ask me why incidents of suicide amongst the foreign community are so high in Pattaya. I took a moment to consider the question before I assured him that frankly, I’m pretty sure if we had reliable statistics on this subject they would reveal that the suicide rate in Pattaya City is not remarkable and may be even lower than other cities of equivalent population. Not that anyone actually KNOWS the population count in Pattaya. I’m making an educated guess that our suicide rate per capita barely registers on the chart. Fun City is a holiday resort town. Be happy, don’t worry. At least that’s what the tourist brochures proclaim.

Surely we cannot blame a whole city when an individual opts out of this world and leaps into the next. But the young man’s question prompted me to think a little about the city we live in. MY Pattaya, YOUR Pattaya and HIS Pattaya are all very different realities. It depends very much on which circles we travel in, the everyday lives we live, where we’ve come from, who we were before (and who we are now), our expectations and tolerance to problems and setbacks.

Since Pattaya is a mixed bag of residents, both Thai and foreign, and most Thais who live and work in Pattaya are also from other regions of the country, we all seem to be from ‘somewhere else’. I realize that to address this subject toward foreign residents and tourists is narrow and exclusive. Space and time back me into a corner. Recent observations have led me to some conclusions. Pattaya seems to be the ‘end of the line’ for some people who live here. Just in case anyone missed it, read: SOME people who live here!

South East Asia is literally a crossroad of the world. Thailand is one of the more popular countries that square the intersection. Pattaya is presently the Darling of the East and most people who visit, or live here are quite content. We receive literally millions of visitors per year. A lot of them are carrying more baggage than was checked in at the airport. In other words, they bring their problems with them. Our fair city isn’t geared to cater to ticking time bombs. A broken human psyche can’t be screened at airport security. Damaged goods are usually not returned for a refund.

In Western literature, Asia and Africa have often been referred to as the “white-man’s grave”. On the surface, Asia has changed much since that literature was written. We now have satellite TV, ATM machines, modern medicine, clean drinking water and name-brand franchises from Europe and the USA. The ‘natives’ no longer wear the sarong and ply the streets in rickshaws.

Scratch the surface a little deeper. Mother Asia changes slowly. Most Westerns who are fooled by the superficial modernization of the obvious will indeed be introduced to the seriousness of their folly in the form of some very hard lessons. Good students turn up for class. Those who don’t will fail the exam.

The very cold truth of the matter is that most Westerners are not suited to a long and happy life in Asia. To put it bluntly, Asia chews them up and spits them out. In 1974 the US Embassy in Singapore compiled statistics amongst the expat community living there. At that time the average contracts for corporate, bank and embassy employees were for 2 years. In order to recover the investment of sending a family to Asia, the work-permit holder not only had to complete the 2-year period, but was encouraged to renew his contract for another 2 years so that the company could justify the expense.

During the years between 1970 and 1978, the turnover was 79 percent. The average length of stay for the expat family was 1.6 years before they packed up and went home. The average rate of family breakdown and divorce was 1.2 years. This meant that to keep his employment (women did not hold work-permits at that time), the man had to send his wife and children back to their home country and finish out his contract, or go back home without a job.

Statistics on the same subject collected in other ASEAN countries and Indo China were worse. Most families broke down in less than a year. Corporations began organized screening and introduction programs and ‘relocation’ services became an international industry.

But of course the majority of permanent foreign residents in Pattaya do not come under the auspices of corporate policy and protection. Most foreign residents who live in here are men who either live alone or ‘meet’ someone and form an alliance. Many of these relationships are symbiotic and successful. It is also a painful fact many men make these decisions in haste without having the slightest idea of what they are getting into and how they will deal with any of the problems which must eventually come up. They jump in and hope for the best.

Is this a textbook recipe for a ‘Pattaya suicide’? Of course not. Nor is a health problem a reason to jump in front of a bus. Thailand has first class medical services. Pattaya might be the end of the line for those who have already given up on life. For most, Pattaya is a happy place, a new beginning, a fresh start.

Roll over Rover: Voice commands; try never to say it twice

by C. Schloemer

I realize that many readers are not new to training dogs and all may have some preferences and ideas on what works and what does not with their own dogs. Professional trainers strive for perfection. Pet owners just want their pooch to be a good doggie and not drive everyone crazy.

There are different schools of thought on the ‘never say it twice’ advice. Let me just say, that we humans don’t mind this kind of double talk, but often dogs interpret “Sit” and “Sit, sit, sit” or “Stay” and “Stay, stay, stay” as different commands and can become confused.

The voice command, “Sit-Stay” can also be confusing. Many dogs do not recognize double words, such as sit-sit, down-down - come-come. If your dog responds to these kinds of commands you have no problem. However, some owners will find their dog registering confusion on double-speak commands. For novice trainers, I’m simply recommending a more straight forward method which avoids some confusion. I’ll try to explain why.

One of the most common training errors is repeating commands. If Rover does not “Sit” at the first command, we automatically say the word again (“Sit-Sit”). Over a series of repetitions, we inadvertently teach the dog to wait patiently until the second or third command before he is required to respond.

While the owner fumes about stubbornness and laziness, the dog’s comment would probably be, “Look, Boss, the command isn’t ‘Sit’, it’s ‘Sit-Sit!’ I’m just waiting for you to finish the sentence!” The ironic part of this exchange is that both participants are convinced the other is mistaken.

The primary reason for this confusion is that most people take language for granted. We are so conditioned to respond to humans that we forget that animals do not think of words as we do. They know words as sounds that are connected to particular situations. Our mistake is that we assume that dogs speak “language” and that commands “cause” behaviors to happen. If we are talking to another human and receive no response to a simple request, we automatically repeat the word on the assumption that the person did not hear us.

Often this second command is spoken louder than the first, still convinced that the first word was not heard. To test this reasoning, watch the way tourists attempt to communicate with people who do not speak their language. When the first word brings no response, they automatically say it again louder. If increased loudness fails, they will probably try to pronounce the word in an exaggerated manner and in sometimes add a foreign sounding ending to it. If a person, or a dog, does not know an association between the word and its meaning, saying it twice or twenty times will make no difference.

While repeating commands tends to erode good behavior, there are two other types of repeated words that can seriously affect a dog’s learning potential - praise and corrections. Dogs listen for praise to tell them which behaviors bring treats and affection, while scolding identifies those behaviors that should be avoided.

Both praise and scolding are dependent upon good timing to be effective. Repeating the words that identify good or bad behavior does not necessarily give them added emphasis but does slow them down. This makes it difficult for the dog to know which behavior “caused” the praise or scolding.

For instance, if Rover likes to jump on Grandma the time to say “No!” is at the instant he starts to jump. If you are in the habit of saying “No-No-No” Rover has already done the deed and escaped before you got to the end of your double talk.

In this case, Rover heard the first “No” as he started to jump on Grandma. He knows he can ignore this sound because a single “No” has little or no consequence tied to it.

It is the all important, and much louder, third “NO!” that he must pay attention to. By the time he hears the third “NO!” he is racing down the hallway and thinking of darting out the doggie door. All thoughts of jumping and Grandma are long forgotten.

Just as scolding must be quick to be precise, long winded praise can be equally inefficient. If Rover decides to sit momentarily for Grandma and then jumps on her, a series of “Good-boy-good-boy-good-dog” will capture both behaviors.

Instead of praising just the “Sit”, Rover’s owner has mistakenly reinforced the jump as well. Without a fast signal to identify good behavior, the dog will soon be convinced that the entire sequence is appropriate.

PC Basics: Hooking Up

by Jason Rowlands

Look at the back of your PC and it’s probably a nightmare of tangled wires, with PS2 ports, serial, parallel, 3.5MM jacks, VGA, MIDI, game ports and so on. If most of these acronyms mean nothing to you, then you are an average user who wants something easier.

These days, the answer is called USB or Universal Serial Bus. This is a recently new type of connection which will eventually do away with all the different types of ports that currently have to be put onto every PC. Already, you can get mice, keyboards, printers, scanners, monitors, CD Writers, and various other devices which are USB compatible.

But what makes USB so good? Well, for a start, you can plug or unplug a USB device into your PC while it is running, and it will automatically detect and activate that device. But USB doesn’t just carry information between the device and the PC; it can also transmit power as well. So with, for example, a USB scanner, there is no separate power supply needed; it all comes through the USB lead. USB is also very fast. Scanning images and documents takes seconds rather than minutes.

But it doesn’t end there. Most PC’s have two USB ports on the back, located under the mouse and keyboard sockets. But two ports aren’t enough if more and more devices are added. Fortunately, a staggering five hundred and twelve devices can be connected to a single USB port on your PC. This is achieved by including on any USB devices additional USB ports. Monitors generally come with four ports, and you can find something called a USB Hub in most computer outlets. This is just a small box which has four or more USB ports on it. Eventually, USB will replace ALL other types of connection, and make PC’s that bit easier to work with.

As ever, though, there are pitfalls. For a start, only Windows 98 or above supports USB. If you have 95, forget it. Also, USB as only been built onto motherboards for a relatively short length of time. Fortunately, you can get a card which plugs into a PCI socket on your motherboard which will give you USB compatibility. PCI sockets aren’t very fast however, and can never give you the same rate of data transfer that an on-board socket will.

But if you have Windows 98 or above, and have USB ports built in, then make sure that anything you buy in the future is USB enabled. A lot of printers these days will either be both parallel and USB, but more and more are USB only. And if you can find a scanner that is not USB, I would be very surprised.

If you have any PC related questions please send them to pcbasics@pattaya mail.com

Women’s World: A woman’s best friend (Part I)

by Lesley Warmer

During 1930’s the clutch bag was developed. Then the shoulder bag appeared during World War II. This idea developed from the old gas mask box, which could be slung across the body and carried easily.

Between 1940 - 1950 the designs for bags became quite extravagant and innovative, made of all sorts of materials with novel frivolous extras decorating the outside.

Then America came up with handbags looking like novelty boxes and called them Lucite bags. Lucite was a by-product of wartime technology, a hard plastic that allowed designers to decorate them all over.

Highly decorated wicker bag

Nowadays the handbag has become an essential part of a woman’s dress code and many ladies have a handbag to match every outfit. If you are lucky (or live in Pattaya) you will own handbags that include some of the famous names like Hermes, Louis Vuitton, Gucci and Chanel. Twentieth century technology has opened up a treasure of textures and materials from space age synthetics to hand-woven straws. There are rainproof bags for stormy days, sturdy totes for the beach, delicate fabrics for evening, and squashy shoulder bags for casual wear. In short, a fascinating variety of handbags for any mood, outfit or occasion.

Now a new chapter in handbag history is being written, as men’s fashions become leaner, and more and more men are using hand or shoulder bags (back to the beginning).

This is an excerpt from an old article from the NFAA archives, circa 1945 “Inside Story of a Handbag”:

From the 1945 Article

“Every woman’s handbag is a lost and found department in itself. It is strange, but things actually disappear there, as by magic. They finally reappear on the surface after three or four investigations and complete pell-mell of the contents. Every bus driver is fatalistically resigned to having a lady barring the passage while searching for a nickel in the depths of her handbag. And every man knows about the two-minute drama ever repeated: ‘Heavens, I must have lost my watch ... (or my twenty-dollar bill, my keys, that important letter, etc., etc.)!’ It usually has a happy ending. Nothing gives a man more self-satisfaction than such an experience. The whole myth of the superiority of men is built on the fact that a man never carries a handbag. Men keep women in eternal dependence by buying them beautiful handbags. What female heart would not melt at the sight of a luscious alligator bag, or soft suede or brocade?”

A man carriers everything in his numerous comfortably deep pockets. It is estimated that a man wearing a suit with a vest and an overcoat has twenty pockets. No wonder he can never lose anything!

Contents of a typical handbag of a typical woman in 1945 contained:

One or two lipsticks

A compact (that won’t close)

1 fresh handkerchief

2/3 crumpled handkerchiefs

A package of letters

The laundry bill

3 tickets from the cleaner

1 nylon stocking to be repaired

1 address book

1 pack of cigarettes

3 packs of matches

1 leather picture folder

All ration books (including expired ones)

Several cards with addresses of a furrier, a wholesale place for children’s coats, a beauty parlor, a graphologist, etc.

2 scraps of paper with telephone numbers and no names

1 hairnet

1 bottle of vitamins

3 samples of slipcovers

1 fountain pen

2 pencils

1 parcel of V-mail letters covering several months held by a rubber band.

The typical handbag of a typical woman in 1998 contained:

Banking card

Beeper

Breath mints

Cell phone

Change purse

Checkbook

Crumpled tissues

Electronic organizer

Hand cream

Hairbrush

Keys

Lip balm

Makeup case filled to capacity

Pens

Wallet filled with cash and credit cards

One bag is not enough!

Our contents spill over into our tote bags, where you will find:

Agenda

Packed lunch

Paperback book/magazine

Newspaper

Shoes to change at work

Umbrella.”