COLUMNS
HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:

Family Money

Snap Shot

Modern Medicine

Heart to Heart with Hillary

A Slice of Thai History

Bits ‘n’ Bobs

Personal Directions

Social Commentary by Khai Khem

The Message In The Moon

PC Basics

Women’s World

Family Money: Guaranteeing Your Pension Part 4

By Leslie Wright,
Managing director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd.

Over the past three weeks we’ve looked at various ways to safeguard a retiree’s pension fund - the capital which has to provide for the rest of his days.

We’ve looked at corporate pensions, and annuities, and ‘with profits’ funds, and ‘guaranteed’ funds, and offshore insurance bonds. But what about those who haven’t yet built up a retirement fund? What can they do?

Diverting corporate pension contributions

Although less common than 20 years ago many large companies operate a contributory pension fund on behalf of their employees. The employees may be obliged to contribute into it, or may be free to make their own arrangements.

After having seen so many people who had depended on their company’s pension scheme to provide for their Golden Years lose everything to the malfeasance of corporate robber-barons like Robert Maxwell, I am always rather sceptical of the benefits that a corporate pensioner is “sure” to receive when he retires.

The company may be taken over by a robber baron such as Maxwell who clears out the pension fund for his own personal gain. Or the pension fund managers may mismanage or misappropriate the fund.

In few regimes is a corporate pension scheme protected by law. And interim valuations are only projections of what the investor might get back assuming growth continues at either historical rates, or some arbitrary projected rate. You are still almost entirely at the mercy of your employer and their pension fund managers.

Going independent

Creating your own offshore pension fund with a designated savings plan from an internationally recognised investment institution located in a well-regulated regime is, in my view, the best way to go.

No one can run off with your money (you’re protected by law). No one can take it away from you (it’s in your name). You select the bias of the portfolio (conservative, balanced, aggressive), which can be adjusted whenever you like according to changing market conditions. It will be growing tax-free offshore.

You can continue contributing into it no matter where in the world you might relocate to, and regardless of how many employers you might have between the time you set up your offshore pension fund and the time you eventually decide to retire and start drawing down an income from it. And you decide how much you take out, and how frequently, and where these withdrawals are to be remitted, leaving the remainder to grow, tax free, offshore.

Choosing the right vehicle

Nowadays there are various excellent savings plans on the market from a number of reputable offshore providers. They all have the benefits I’ve outlined above. The differences come down essentially to terms and conditions - most importantly, commitment and charges.

The most cost-effective such plans on the market require a commitment to maintain contributions at a certain level throughout the term of the plan, which you decide at the outset. If you keep it going right through to maturity, it’s a very inexpensive plan which gives you a great deal of flexibility as to fund selection.

Many financial advisers will tell you that if your circumstances change, you can stop this plan after 13 months contributions have been made. Yes. Absolutely true. But what they often neglect to tell you is that hefty penalties will be levied if you do so. The financial institutions’ actuaries have discovered that most people who sign up for a 10 or 15 year plan actually keep it going for only 2 years - (typically because they haven’t been serviced by their financial adviser, or another one has come along with what sounds like a better offer) - and so this particular plan is “back-end loaded”: it hits you in the tail if you stop it or want to pull your money out early. But if you’re prepared to make a longer-term commitment to this plan, it’s by far the cheapest on the market, and accesses some really top-line funds.

I emphasise over and over to my clients that a long-term plan is a long-term plan; it is NOT a short-term open-ended one. If you want one of those, fine - there are some excellent ones on the market which offer you total accessibility to your money, and total flexibility to increase, decrease, or stop contributions at any time.

However, with these open-ended plans, you pay a standard entry cost (typically 7% bid/offer spread) going in and nothing more. Ever. But you don’t get any bonuses either. Just like a time deposit versus a passbook savings account, there’s a trade off: cost-effectiveness versus accessibility.

But why not have both? This is what I suggest for many clients who are looking to optimise their return from excess income: put the amount that they believe they can continue to contribute - come what may - into a long-term committed program; and the rest into an open-ended program which can be suspended if changed circumstances so dictate.

There again, I often meet people who have never saved anything significant after more than 20 years of employment. Either they’ve had lousy jobs or lousy self-discipline. These people will never accumulate significant amounts of capital - a necessity to a comfortable retirement, for one - unless they include “discipline” as one of their important investment criteria.

For this category of saver, hefty penalties to make them think twice about stopping their savings program early may well make the difference between having a significant amount of capital in 10~15 years time, or having some wonderful memories and an empty bank account.

Diverting employer contributions

If you enjoy a corporate pension plan, you should try to persuade your employer to divert his contributions into a designated offshore pension-savings program in your name. Otherwise, over the course of your career, you are likely to accumulate several small ‘frozen’ pensions, which typically can only be accessed at the predetermined maturity date - generally your 60th birthday.

Having your own offshore savings program consolidates, simplifies, and eliminates many of the “what ifs”.

But before signing up for any new savings program it is important that the appropriate criteria, bells and whistles, and degree of commitment to your overall savings program (which as suggested above could comprise more than one designated savings plan, perhaps from more than one offshore provider) should be discussed with your financial adviser (you do have one, don’t you?) And that you clearly understand the charges and commitment you will be making, and the penalties that would be applied should you later decide to stop the program.

(To be continued next week).


Snap Shot: 10 Tips - often painfully acquired!

by Harry Flashman

I wrote down these tips around two years ago. Since then, I have been asked many times to give out the “secrets” you learn in the professional photography arena. There are really no secrets, they are all here. The secrets come after painful experiences and here are my (still) top 10 tips for a happy photographic life! I should add that all these tips come from real life experiences which have happened to myself and other pro shooters. None of it is made up.

Tip number 1. When you find a roll of film in your camera bag or suitcase, that you’d completely forgotten about, use it to throw at predatory puppies, rather than using it in your camera. You can be guaranteed the results will be no good at all. The colours will be all wrong because the film has been hot at some time or exposed to airport irradiation. No matter how tempting it is to slip it into the camera when you urgently need another roll of film, don’t do it! You will be disappointed. Guaranteed.

Tip number 2. When going on holidays with your camera, take spare batteries with you - always. No matter how new the batteries, if there is a failure while you are trekking in Nepal, or just lazing on the beaches in Koh Chang you will not be able to get the correct replacement. That’s as sure as God made little green apples as the song goes. Remember that your camera may also use more than one type of battery, another trap for young players.

Tip number 3. Always carry one more roll of film than you think you’ll need when on holidays. The shot of a lifetime will appear and you will have already used all your film. And don’t use the one you’ve suddenly found in the bag - see Tip number 1.

Please don’t throw that film at me!

Tip number 4. Always put exposed film immediately back into their plastic canisters. In such a container, they are protected from dust and water. They will also float when you drop one overboard and you can scoop it up with a fish net. Harry managed to drop one overboard while in the Solomon Islands, after taking pictures of coral through the hull of an expensively hired glass bottomed boat. It was saved!

Tip number 5. Always check that the camera neck strap is indeed tight and secure on both ends. If one end lets go, the camera will hit the ground before you have time enough to react. Cameras do not bounce well, if at all.

Tip number 6. When you get the book of prints back, and the envelope with the negatives from the photo shop, immediately write on both the subject material of the shots and the date. Do this with black texta pen so it doesn’t rub off and you will have saved yourself hours of work, flicking through books of prints, while looking for Solomon Islands 1998.

Tip number 7. Never keep your camera in the glove box of your car. With the temperatures that can be reached in the cubby hole reaching as high as 50 degrees Celsius in our blazing summers, at best the film is spoiled, at worst, the camera is spoiled. The newer “plastic” bodied cameras and camera backs can actually warp with the high temperature.

Tip number 8. When you decide that you want an enlargement made of one particular shot, arrange for it straight away, while you still have the negative handy, and before it gets covered in dust and scratched, making it impossible to get a decent enlargement. And before it gets lost.

Tip number 9. Frequently check the exposure controls on your camera, that it really is set on Auto, or Shutter priority or what have you. It is very easy to knock the controls and settings when taking the camera in and out of the bag, or even when it has been hanging round your neck.

Tip number 10. Remember tips 1-9. Happy shooting!


Modern Medicine: Will you develop cancer? Predictable or not?

by Dr Iain Corness, Consultant

What a contentious title to this week’s column! It actually stemmed from an email sent to me by Bob Lee in which he drew my attention to a website which purported to give you an idea as to whether you might develop cancer. Having emanated from Harvard University I decided I should give it a go. After all, I have a more than passing interest in health and longevity - especially mine.

What the site does is to give you a choice of various cancers you would not like to have and then look at the various factors which can (a) precipitate the cancer, (b) are factors which are known to have an association with the cancer, or (c) give some protection against the cancer. It then compares your answers with these known factors to give you an indication as to whether you are a high risk individual or otherwise.

So the truth of the matter is that the site can give you an idea of relative “risk”, it is not a site which can predict. Just as we know that heavy smokers get more cancers of the lung than non-smokers, we also know that you cannot say that an individual smoker will get lung cancer, just because he or she smokes 60 cigarettes a day. (Everyone seems to have a grandfather who was overweight, smoked 4 packs a day, drank a bottle of whiskey and lived to be 103 at which age he was shot in flagrante delicto by a cuckolded husband!)

The difference is that medical statistics looks at large groups. In the group situation, you can say that people with, for example, group A blood type have relatively more stomach cancers than those people with group O blood type. It does not mean that if you have group A blood you WILL get stomach cancer.

Individuals look at the results and begin to panic. “Oh my God, I’ve got group A blood. I’m doomed!” However, this is not a “predictor” of impending doom, but just a passing association of limited relative value.

Where the web site is good, is when you use it in the way that Harvard wanted you to use it. When you fill out the respective cancer questionnaire, it comes up with a relative “risk” level. If you are high, then it behoves you to lower the relative risk by getting rid of some of the risk factors. For example, if you are a smoker, stop now. Your chances of not developing cancer start improving from tomorrow.

It can also tell you some things you can do to place yourself relatively at less risk. Again, this is no 100% guarantee, but does mean that you stand less of a chance of getting, for example, prostate cancer if you eat lots of tomato based food.

So you cannot unfortunately predict your own outcome with this website, but you can place yourself much less “at risk” if you follow the clearly stated recommendations. With the proviso that you look at the overall risk profile and don’t look upon it as a fortune (or misfortune) teller, then it is a worthwhile exercise. The URL is http://www.yourcan cerrisk.har vard.edu/index. htm. Have fun. And thanks again, Bob Lee.


Heart to Heart with Hillary

Dear Hillary,

I have been living with a Thai girl for 5 months. My farang friends, who have been living in Pattaya for years, tell me that according to Thai law, a girl residing with a man for over 6 months gains the rights similar to ladies living in common law for 2 or 3 years in some European or American countries. That means the right for financial support after termination of co-habitance. On the top of that, such support could be enforced arbitrarily by a police officer (until it is resolved in courts). In case of my girl, who has three children from a previous marriage (and not receiving any support) this would mean that a cop could arbitrarily enforce substantial payments. It does not seem to make much sense to me, however, this is Thailand ... and so far, I have been unable to obtain any reliable information on that and hope that you may have some insight into this.

Cautious

Dear Cautious,

You haven’t been too cautious so far, have you Petal. Here you are coming up the home straight and suddenly “six months” is almost upon you. And you are starting worry and only now beginning to count the “real” costs! The situation, as I understand it, is that there is no statutory period of time under Thai law for the girl to become a “common law” wife, as there is in Europe and America. If the man and woman are living together in a marital situation, she cooks for him, looks after him and shares the marital bed, then if it can be proved that this is the case, the time period could be under one year. However, there has to be a distinction between this situation and a “mia chow” (“rented wife”) where there is no expectation of this continuing for any great period of time and the financial consideration given to her is there for that rental purpose. In one situation there is expectation of a future, in the other there is not. Where that places you, Hillary does not know - only you do. Accepting certain pleasures means accepting certain responsibilities, I’m afraid, my Petal. And that goes for everything in life.

Dear Hillary,

For many years I have considered the prospects of opening a business in Pattaya but I don’t want to own a bar, restaurant or hotel. If the proposed casino is approved I will take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to sell good luck charms. Instead of copy watches and copy CDs, I will sell copy casino chips and copy poker machine coins. I need to know if the climate is right in Thailand to grow four leaf clovers. Also are there enough rabbits in the country to provide a continuous supply of lucky rabbit foot key rings? If not, I could use water buffalo hoofs (sic) as it seems that these animals are dying regularly, particularly the ones owned by bar girls. Please advise where I can I find a business partner?

Minnie Mouse

Dear Minnie,

Ah yes, you need a business partner for your copy casino chips and copy poker machine coins. What an original concept, Minnie, but why stop there? You can also make copy currency to buy the copy casino chips. Everyone will understand it’s just a “fun” thing. I think you will find many people down at the waterfall bar who would be willing to invest with you, if you care to enquire at the centre table. Mind you, it will be copy cheques they will be using to buy into the business, but you do understand, don’t you, Petal, being in the copy business so to speak. Regarding the buffalo hooves, the main problem here is transportation from Esarn, which will eat into the profit margin so much that the unit cost will be too high per hoof, even though you usually get four per buffalo. Rabbits? Again, not so viable a business proposition. If the myxomatosis didn’t get them, then the 18 wheelers did. Four leaf clovers? Pluck me, seems to have been the problem here. All have been over plucked and were used as garnish on plates of Khao Tom, I’m afraid. Finally, are you related to Mighty Mouse, by any chance?

Dear Hillary,

Much has been made recently of the apparent difficulties in crossing Second Road, with several readers and columnists all spending time, efforts, words and newsprint on the subject. Surely they all cannot find it so difficult? I cross Second Road several times a day and am yet to be bowled over by the baht bus. Don’t you think they are exaggerating?

Linford

Dear Linford,

Are you Linford Christie, the famous British athlete? If so, no wonder you have no problems avoiding speeding traffic. For the rest of us slower mortals it can be a daunting task - even at the traffic lights. The best advice I can give anyone with these problems and who insists on doing the dash on foot, is to wait until 4 a.m. when the traffic is lighter (although the odd car with no lights on can be a small setback). For me, I charter a motorcycle taxi, close my eyes, and pay him 10 baht when I get to the other side!


A Slice of Thai History: First among Equals: Phraya Manoprakorn, Thailand’s First Prime Minister (part one)

by Duncan Stearn

The coup of June 24, 1932, launched by a group of civil servants and military officers who called themselves the Promoters, led to the replacement of the absolute monarchy for a constitutional framework under King Prajadhipok (Rama VII).

The Promoters created a political entity known as the People’s Party and aimed to provide Thailand with an ostensibly democratic form of government, modelled along the lines of the Westminster system in Britain, to fill the power vacuum.

A provisional constitution, drawn up Pridi Banomyong, a law professor and leader of the civilian section of the Promoters, was put into effect three days after the coup. On the same day all ministers, department heads and secretaries of the former monarchical government were compelled to resign.

King Prajadhipok reluctantly accepted the loss of his political power, accepting that the prestige of the monarchy was unimpaired. The Executive Committee of the People’s Party became the provisional government and the Promoters asked the respected Phraya Manoprakorn Nithithada, a 47-year-old judge of the Court of Appeals, to take the position of chairman.

Phraya Manoprakorn Nithithada, better known simply as Phraya Mano, was born in Bangkok on July 15, 1884. He attended the prestigious Suan Kularb Vidhayalai School before winning a scholarship and going on to Assumption College and thence to England where he studied law.

Phraya Mano returned to Thailand and worked in the Ministry of Justice and, in 1918, the barrister was appointed an adviser to King Prajadhipok. He was later appointed to the Court of Appeals as a judge, a position from which he garnered great respect.

When Rama VII signed the temporary constitution on June 27, 1932, thereby ending the era of the absolute monarch, Phraya Mano was appointed chairman of the People’s Party, effectively making him the first prime minister of Thailand.

From the beginning, Phraya Mano’s position was tenuous, given that he was charged with leading a shaky coalition consisting of the various factions that had now taken control of the country.

He walked a fine line between the competing aims of Pridi Banomyong, the ambitious leader of the civilian faction of the People’s Party, Colonel (later General and then Field Marshal) Pibul Songkram, the young and equally ambitious leader of the military wing and Colonel Phraya Phahon Polphayuhasena, better known as Phraya Phahon, the senior military member of the People’s Party.

Nearly six months after the June coup, King Rama VII signed into being a permanent constitution and on December 10 Phraya Mano was confirmed as the nation’s first prime minister. The King also issued a Royal Pardon to all the participants of the June revolution.


Bits ‘n’ Bobs

WHINGE OF THE WEEK

Yes, I am the ‘whinger’ in this instance, I am sad to report as I confirm the view of those Down Under. Maid #2, so eager to please as ever, had brought home a bag full of rice. “What a fine gesture!” I hear you cry. Yeah well, think again. The bag was dutifully dumped where the large pedal waste-bin used to be (I must make a note to track that receptacle down...). I swear I only laid the pork chops down for a second on the worktop before this moving black carpet of ants went for me as they homed in on the chops. Duck and dive, bob and weave, parry and lunge, I was overwhelmed by these nasty little characters. At least I could try and defend myself whereas the blood-soaked pork chops stood no chance.

Dancing around like a severely distressed Banshee as I desperately tried to rid myself of these ferocious creatures. I fought with the strength of ten men. I thwarted the onslaught of the little demons and hurled the now alive and black, would-be dinner through the open kitchen door. Teddy, my eldest canine was delighted! He was even licking the ants off his own chops with relish as they headed for his ears, up his nose and other unmentionable places. The culinary delight did not hit the ground and he was chomping on the run.

When I had showered, I proceeded to instruct Maid #2 to burn my hastily removed clothes, although she seemed bewildered by this screeching command. I asked her as to which rubbish bin she had retrieved her kind offering from but received a blank look. Under interrogation, she claimed that her ‘friend’ had given the rice as a present and she thought I would be pleased. I would rather she had been given some needles so I could stick them in my eyes. I checked the errant pedal bin and immediately regretted the rash move, as a rash was what I received for my curiosity. Anyone out there looking for a maid?

CACOPHONOUS BANDS ON THE RUN!

Perhaps I subconsciously meant ‘banned’, but such a notion would be nothing more than wishful thinking. I refer to these infernal pick-up trucks that unmercifully jeopardise their suspension by loading on three tons of audio equipment at the behest of their sponsor.

If they were on their way to a fifty rai site to supply the needs of ‘U-2’, ‘The Rolling Stones’ and ‘Led Zeppelin’ to convey their music to a thronging crowd of half-a-million screaming fans, I could possibly accept them sound-testing the array of six metre high speakers en route in an effort to awaken the likes of Jimi Hendrix or any other rather dead rock legends.

Sadly, they are advertising nothing more than some pitiful event at which a maximum of thirty mostly non-paying customers will be irreversibly deafened as people living near the selected waste ground will jam the police switchboard, futile as a complaint would be even if they were connected.

As if following the example of the girls who tout their lottery tickets as a threesome, stepping back to the end of the line once they make a sale, the cacophony boys often ride the roads of the Pattaya suburbs in three-truck convoys, all belting out the same distorted message at eardrum-perforating decibel levels.

In my humble opinion, the only way the event holders will make money is if they appeal to residents such as myself to cough up the price of a ticket in return for their advertising convoys being deployed at the other end of town, preferably somewhere near Korat.

FARANG ‘WAI’ OF THE WEEK

Why is there a globally disproportionate concentration of sick buffalo, motorbike-injured brothers and mothers desperately in need of life-saving operations particularly in the North-East of Thailand? Global warming, perchance?

THE FEMALE GUINNESS BOOK OF RECORDS

In this politically correct age, Guinness has been obliged to publish a FEMALE version of their record book as pointed out in the Pattaya Mail recently. Recent additions include: Jumble Sale Massacre - The greatest number of old ladies to perish whilst fighting at a jumble sale is 98, at a Methodist Church Hall in Castleford, West Yorkshire on February 12th 1991. When the doors opened at 10 a.m., the initial scramble to get in cost 16 lives, a further 25 being killed in a crush at the first table. A seven-way skirmish then broke out over a pinafore dress costing 10p, which escalated into a full-scale melee resulting in another 18 lives being lost. A pitched battle over a headscarf then ensued and quickly spread throughout the hall, claiming 39 old women. The jumble sale raised the princely sum of GBP 5.28 for a local Boy Scouts troop.

FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human: it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”


Personal Directions: Get Real ... Be Positive

by Christina Dodd, founder and managing director 
of Incorp Training Asssociates

It’s amazing the difference it makes to be around people who have a positive outlook on life and everything that they do. It transforms you and gives you that boost you need when it seems like all is failing and nothing is going right!

One of the most uplifting things you can do in whatever life you may be living is to develop a Positive Mental Attitude and to live it.

W. Clement Stone was perhaps one of the most inspiring examples of what PMA can do for you. He literally took the bull by the horns and regardless of what happened, lived and worked with a total commitment to PMA, every day of his life. He changed his life and those of countless others simply by embracing principles of positive thought and action and making them a habit. Once they become a habit, they become a natural way of life, just like brushing your hair in the morning.

A lot of people think that having PMA is simply being optimistic! Well that is true to some extent but there is far more to it than that. It requires application and action. For some it may be a lot of hard work! PMA encompasses all the good and “plus” things about you and combines them with the driving force or power source inside you enabling you to achieve everything you want to achieve. It’s the right frame of mind that leads to the right actions - and results!

PMA requires thought, determination, application and continuous action. Just because you think you have a positive view of life doesn’t necessarily mean that success and happiness are going to leap out from behind the bushes and wow - you have everything you want! If you think that this is how all your dreams are going to come true then you are in for a long wait! Nothing comes to us. It’s hard work all of the time. Having PMA is just the beginning. Making it a habit and living it every day is the secret to a happy, successful and fulfilled life.

We all have the ability to develop PMA - if we want to. By following certain steps and giving full effort and commitment to them each of us is capable of leading a better and more improved life. Having met and trained many, many people, from all walks of life over the years, I am totally convinced of the power of PMA. I am constantly reminded of the resilience, the inner strength and capabilities of human beings and their perseverance. But the “follow-through” process in developing PMA and living it is extremely important. Without this continuous activity it will become lost and ultimately abandoned.

I remember when I was in my last year of high school I wanted to earn some extra cash for Christmas. Most of us have done the same thing growing up. All of my friends were excited about earning money and so was I. They managed to get jobs in restaurants or record shops or the local corner store. For me, however, I ended up with a job in a glue factory of all places! I wasn’t impressed but it was all that was going at the time. I absolutely hated it because I had to get up at 5 a.m. and travel by bus, then train and bus again to reach the factory. The people I worked with, mostly twenty or thirty years older than me, were really nice people, but the work was so depressing, dirty and monotonous. But the one thing that got me through each day was something that a friend told me to do in earnest as I made my way each morning to the factory and home again - and that was to say out loud if I could, “every day in every way things are getting better and better”.

You may think this silly or a little odd, but it was a great help to me at the time. The six weeks I worked at the factory weren’t so unpleasant after all. I approached the days with enthusiasm because I knew that at the end of each day - there was one less day to work. I jumped out of bed in a hurry to get on with the job and reach my target so I had money for Christmas. Even though my friends were teasing me about the fact that I was working in a “glue factory”, I put it to the side and gave it no thought. I stayed focussed. When I think of my first job now, looking back to that time, it seems as though it took place in a millisecond. And to top it off, I had a fantastic Christmas!

To this day I still say the very same words when times get tough. A self-motivator is like a good friend holding your hand - and holding it tight through the hard times. There’s strength and power in it to inspire you into living the PMA way and achieving the things you want in life.

Another wonderful self-motivator is “I am good. I am alive. I can do it.” If you repeat this out loud enough times it will really empower you and fire you up. The more you repeat it, the more it and the value it expresses become a habit! Say it with feeling and emotion morning and night. In some of my training programs we all stand facing the sea and shout these three phrases out loudly whilst standing on the beach at sunrise. Try it yourself today - what have you got to lose? What are you afraid of? Do something different - go on! If you want changes in your life, then change the way you do things!

It’s amazing how forceful and energizing saying something out loud can be. Most of the time we say things to ourselves in silence. Of course we can’t go around everywhere, talking or saying our self-motivators out loud all the time - we just don’t behave that way and if we did we would be picked up and whisked quickly away to the nearest funny farm! But if you do find a chance to let yourself go and let it all out in a huge voice - then do it! If you’re in the car and see a large open space with trees and grass and no one around, stop and run into the field in full voice.

I realize by now that you may be puzzled by all of this. Don’t be. It’s very good medicine for the mind and the soul and an integral part of developing a Positive Mental Attitude. It’s part of the process that will enable you in your life to overcome times of discouragement, difficulty and despair. By having PMA you will adopt a clearer, healthier, more productive approach and attitude to everything that you do. When you have PMA you are content with yourself - and you are content with others.

As William James wrote:

“Be not afraid of life.

Believe that life is worth living,

And your belief will create the fact.”

Have a great week!

Christina can be contacted by email at christina.dodd @incorptraining.com or directly at Incorp Training Associates in Bangkok. Tel (0) 2652 1867-8 fax: (0) 2652 1870. Programs and services can be found at www.incorptraining.com


Social Commentary by Khai Khem

Here, Kitty, Kitty!

I personally do not own a cat because of a serious allergy which makes me break out in hives. There are undoubtedly medications people can take to alleviate this allergic problem. It’s annoying since I cannot stay long in people’s homes who own cats. Halfway into dinner I start to itch and scratch and bolt for the exit, leaving my food on the plate. Some of my best friends have cats and I’m forced to put up in a hotel when I go to visit them.

Just when I was about to investigate some pharmaceutical solutions to my problem, a friend passed this information on to me via email because the Roll Over Rover column does not acknowledge the existence of the feline species.

My cat-loving friend gives these instructions to owners for when their precious kitty needs oral medication.

How to give a cat a pill

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into cat’s mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from floor and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw. Force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot and drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the (expletive) cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13. Tie the little beast’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from Hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.


The Message In The Moon: Sun in Libra/Moon in Gemini

by Anchalee Kaewmanee

The Thinker

The social awareness and intellectual strengths of a Libra Sun are heightened when combined with a Gemini Moon. Curiosity and inner restlessness spur these natives on to explore the world, to search for answers and hidden meanings. Detached and objective, the Libra-Gemini is a real intellectual and it is difficult for these natives to understand those who are content with surface impressions or who choose to dwell upon the superficial aspects of life.

Eloquence is one of their greatest gifts. These individuals can convince anyone of just about anything. This is mainly because other people sense the inherent honesty of natives born under this sign and respond positively to that graceful, easygoing manner. Of course not every one loves a Libra-Gemini. These natives can sometimes alienate others with their incisive wit. But most people appreciate the candor behind the drollness and understand that the intention was well meant.

Inner peace is not one of the characteristics of this combination. Boredom and indifference are the two things these natives will always struggle against. Enthusiastic and highly strung, they all have a craving for excitement and variety. Half of the time they are busy getting into trouble and the other half of the time they are busy trying to get themselves out of it. This may be typical of the Gemini, but it plays havoc with Libra’s basic need for balance and harmony.

This combination tends to view life from such a detached perspective natives can easily fall into the trap of believing that the world offers no solace or hope. If this is the case, instead of putting faith in the here and now, the Libra-Gemini will often search out otherworldly experiences through mysticism and the occult, or through bizarre imagination.

The Libra-Gemini is at heart, a pagan and a rebel. No matter how hard this combination tries to conform and adapt to the real world the rest of us all live in, natives of this sign will never get over the feeling that they really belong in some other time and place. Disenchantment with reality can lead to a variety of negative solutions. These individuals may choose to play roles that suit the moment. And they are all superb actors. Or they could choose to withdraw altogether. The real challenge these natives face is their own inner nature.

Self-acceptance is the key here. These natives must strive to accept their unique qualities. Staying socially active is vital because only by learning from others can this combination begin to accept who they are. The Libra-Gemini has a wonderful sense of humor. All natives born under this sign are able to laugh at themselves and the human condition. This will be their saving grace. No matter how sad or alienated they become, they have an underlying lightheartedness and an appreciation of life’s irony that should see them through the tough times.

One of the major problems with natives born into this sign is the difficulty in finding an interest or pursuit which can hold their attention. People around them are always wondering what the Libra-Gemini is up to next. These natives are not easy to figure out, simply because they are continuously changing their minds and lifestyles. Their basic convictions stay the same. Oddly enough, they know what they’re doing and where they’re going, even if no one else does.

Aside from purely intellectual or artistic pursuits, this combo possesses fine diplomatic skills. Since tension or discord disrupts the Libra Sun balance, these individuals will rush to mediate any difficulties that disrupt harmony, whether in the workplace, community or in the home. This skill in arbitration can be applied to law, politics or social service. These fields are all careers that should be seriously considered by these natives as they are a backdrop for their special talents and will provide much personal satisfaction.

In love the Libra-Gemini is idealist, naive and romantic. No matter how cool and detached these people seem on the outside, they are hypersensitive, extremely emotional and tender hearted. Don’t forget, much of their outer demeanor is an act. As lovers, they are always kind, affectionate and giving. Therefore, in choosing a lover they must be discriminating.

Fortunately, the Libra-Gemini is cautious when it comes to giving his or her heart, since it breaks easily. They will most likely choose a mate whose spirit matches their own. Many romantic affairs are likely for this combination, and it takes them awhile to find a mate and settle down.


PC Basics: Keeping your cool

by Jason Rowlands

Your PC can generate a surprisingly high amount of heat. In a tropical climate, there can often be problems caused by components overheating and causing your computer to crash. A little preventive maintenance and a few sensible precautions can ensure that this won’t be a problem for you.

A PC is cooled by the use of various fans inside your PC case. Typically, there will be one on the power supply, one on the processor, and possibly one on your graphics card. Sometimes there will be another on the back of the case to draw air through the case. A common problem with these fans is that they can get clogged up by dust. Assuming you feel comfortable working inside your PC, there are a few steps you can take which will help a great deal. If you take the cover off of the case you should be able to see the processor fan on the motherboard. If there is any dust on the fan blades, carefully clean it using a slightly damp cloth and cotton wool ear buds. Check to see if any other fans need cleaning as well.

While you have the case open, see if you have any boards which are located close to each other or your graphics card. If you have a powerful 3D graphics card in your machine, try to avoid placing a PCI card close to it. The newer 3D cards can generate a terrific amount of heat, and should have a heat sink and possibly a fan mounted on them. If your card has just a heat sink on it, placing a PCI card next to it means that that card will absorb the heat from the 3D card.

Of course, you may have limited scope in which to rearrange your cards. In which case you need to consider increasing the number of fans in your case. First, try to establish the wattage of your power supply. If it is below 300, it is unlikely that there will be sufficient power to add additional fans. If it is 300 or over, it should be OK, as long as you are not running a large number of other devices (hard drives, CD-ROMs, zip drives etc.).

There are three different types of fans that can be added to your system case. First, you can get a PCI board which typically will have three or more fans mounted on it. Simple, cheap and fairly effective. Second, a fan can be located at the rear of your case which will allow air to be drawn through the system and help keep all your components cool. The third option is a set of fans mounted in a 5 1/4" sized box which fits into an empty drive bay. Again, air is drawn through the system.

For the power users out there, such measures may not be sufficient, especially if you over-clock your PC by increasing the Front Side Bus speed or the processor and memory speed on a high end 3D card. A fairly new piece of hardware slots into a drive bay, and all the fans in the system are powered through device. Temperature sensors are attached to the hot parts of the system such as the processor, motherboard etc. and whenever the device senses that a component is overheating, it increases the power to that fan and cools it down. However, fitting the device is not simple as the sensors have to be exactly positioned, and the cost can be around 3000 baht. Also, the noise from the fans can make it sound like you have an air conditioning unit and not a PC.

Finally, and moving a little into the realms of the slightly ridiculous, there are water cooling systems available. A pump will flow water next to the components in the system, and carry heat away. These systems cannot really be described as compact, and they can also compete with the fans in the case in terms of noise levels.

If you have any PC related questions please send them to pcbasics@pattayamail .com


Women’s World:How to walk like a lady (Part 3)

by Lesley Warmer

Cobblers still made a great deal of shoes during this period (the early 1900s). Many people, especially men, often had just one pair that lasted for several years. As the industrial revolution reached a fever pitch, however, factories began to steadily gain over individual craftsmanship. Soon, only the very rich could afford custom-made shoes. On the other hand, factory-made shoes meant lower prices, and shoes became an accessory, something affordable.

The Great War (1914 to 1918) changed people’s lives in dramatic ways. Men went off to fight in Europe and women were left at home to run the factories. As women’s independence increased, so too did their levels of activity and their desire for practical shoes.

Lace-up boots became even more popular, valued now for their practicality. The men and women’s shoes still tended to look similar.

Sportswear was increasing in popularity and such fashions were soon incorporated into everyday dress. U.S. Rubber developed the first sneaker, called Keds, in 1917. The word “sneaker” was chosen because the rubber sole made the shoe stealthy - all other shoes, with the exception of moccasins, made a noise when you walked. Converse started producing its All Star line the same year, and shoe fashion would never be quite the same.

Circa 1930

The 1920s were one of the most tumultuous periods of this century. With the Great War behind them, people found themselves swept away on a tide of change. Some reveled in it, some hated it, but the 20th century had truly begun.

In America prohibition, the proliferation of jazz, and the development of mass media were the hallmarks of the 1920s. Youth was at a premium because so many young people were killed during the war. As a result, a cult of the teenager had a new freedom.

Mass production and the development of affordable synthetic fabrics granted everyone access to beautiful clothing and shoes. The foot became a focal point of fashion. Shoe styles were influenced by crazes like the Charleston, a dance that demanded a securely fastened shoe with a low heel and closed toe. A single-bar pump with a pointed toe, high-waisted heel, and one tiny covered button was the most common style. High-tongued, cutaway-decorated, crossover, and t-straps were other popular elements. The late 1920s saw the adoption of two-toned spectators for men, perfect with knickers.

Platform shoes made their first 20th century appearance in the late 1930s. Created by designers such as Salvatore Ferragamo and Andre Perugia, these platforms were created from wood, cork and other materials, due to a shortage of leather and a war ban on rubber.

Shoes were also cut higher on the upper, making them look “chubbier.” Sandals were increasingly popular, reflected in strappy evening shoes with open toes revealing sheer, silk hose. Men were beginning to wear more spectator loafers and fewer boots. Women, seeking sensible, low-heeled footwear, mimicked the look.

By 1940, the average American woman owned five pairs of shoes.

Then in 1941 the Second WW caused more changes overseas; leather was now restricted to military use, so shoe designers were forced to be increasingly clever. Every imaginable material was incorporated into shoes, but reptile skins and mesh were the most successful substitutes. Cork or wood-soled “Wedgies” were another staple. Trims and embellishments were, by necessity, kept to a minimum. Women everywhere used household items, including cellophane and pipe cleaners, to create festive shoe decorations.


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