Gentle reader, please do not immediately
jump to the conclusion that there has been another attempt to
alter the course of chance (or justice) in the Thai national
lottery. Quite the contrary, the following tale is true and
represents inspired thinking, incredible collusion and damned
hard work to bring it all off. And it didn’t happen here.
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Varzi
At the outset, be aware that corruption has
been all around us, and I’m not talking Thailand. I am
talking motor sport. Le sport pure. And Grand Prix racing in
particular. May I present the 1933 Grand Prix of Tripoli!
The Tripoli GP was a star spangled affair,
proposed by Marshall Italo Balbo, the military governor and
viceroy of Libya. For 1933 they decided to throw in a
nationwide lottery which would be held in conjunction with the
GP. The concept was simple. Twelve lucky punters would draw
one of the names of the twelve drivers, and the winning driver
and his ticket holder would share the prize money. Prize money
- ah, how does the equivalent today of 860 million baht sound?
It sounded then just like the large fortune that it is today
and enough to get some of the greatest racing brains more than
slightly revved up.
So the plot was hatched. Four of Italy’s
best drivers, Nuvolari, Varzi, Campari and Borzacchini got
together with the holder of the "Varzi" ticket and
they agreed to pool their winnings and share the proceeds,
after Varzi had won the event with their help.
Of course, there were eight drivers not
"in the know" and any one of these could ruin the
master plan. In the first few laps, that was just how it
looked as Sir Henry (Tim) Birkin, stiff upper lip and all,
roared into the lead in his Maserati.
Fortunately, the Englishman developed tyre
trouble and after a botched pit stop rejoined well down.
Unfortunately, Varzi also had tyre trouble and his pit stop
took even longer. During the lengthy stop his engine
temperature rose and when Varzi rejoined, the Bugatti was
definitely off song.
Meanwhile, at the sharp end of the race
there were the three Italian co-conspirators. On cue, Campari
and Borzacchini developed tyre and mechanical problems and
they dropped out, leaving Nuvolari in the lead.
Once again Birkin became a bother as he
stormed through the field to get within 10 seconds of Nuvolari,
by the half way mark, who was driving looking over his
shoulder for the non-appearing Varzi!
Again luck was on their side as Birkin’s
tyres said enough and the English threat was over. However,
there was now another problem. No matter how slowly Nuvolari
was driving, Varzi’s Bugatti could not catch it. With great
creative thinking, Nuvolari began to make several unannounced
pit stops, changing anything that was changeable on the Alfa
Romeo. This became so frequent that one mechanic was heard to
mutter, "We’ve rebuilt everything. If he comes in again
it must be for a pee."
Now while this managed to get Varzi back
into the lead, the locals began to get restive. They could
smell a rather large rodent. Race fixing was almost a national
event in the camel racing stakes, after all they had been
perfecting it for over 2000 years. There were more than
mutterings from 90,000 enraged locals and 11 unhappy ticket
holders.
Nuvolari then attempted a new ploy. He
would break his Alfa Romeo. Unfortunately, that Alfa Romeo was
made of stout stuff and refused to break, no matter what the
little Mantuan tried to do to it and it looked as if Nuvolari
was going to be forced to win.
Again fate smiled on the "Varzi"
ticket holder, when his driver scorched into the pits, ripped
off the air filter and the Bugatti sprang to life again.
Simultaneously Nuvolari experienced genuine tyre problems and
was forced to pit. When he rejoined, Varzi was in the lead and
the two Italians put on a brilliant display of scripted
choreographed racing, with Varzi getting to the chequered flag
first. He declined his "lap of honour" and Nuvolari
disappeared. But the race was not to end there.
There were numerous protests, probably
ninety thousand and eleven, but history has not recorded that
fact. After deliberations, the Club Royale degli Automobile di
Libia cleared all four drivers of any wrong doing. Cynics
noted that within a few weeks three of the five board members
were driving new Lancias, the fourth a new Alfa while the
fifth suddenly found the money to visit an aged uncle in
Chicago.
The only real loser (other than the 11
remaining ticket holders) was in fact Marshall Balbo who died
a war hero after being shot down by his own anti-aircraft
gunners! Perhaps a fitting end?
So if you read in the future that Ron
Dennis of McLaren has protested about the size of Michael
Schumacher’s rear vision mirrors or something equally as
fatuous, you can see just how petty we have become since 1933.
Races were run and won with panache. And a fair bit of
trickery to boot.
Since I was not around for this Grand Prix,
I must acknowledge the work and words of my late and greatly
missed friend Leo McAuliffe, who researched all the details
for this article.