Riz Taylor

“Two Out of Four Ain’t Bad”, sang legendary rocker Meatloaf a few years ago. Or something like that. And in the Champions League last week we’ve seen the same scenario after a mixed bag of results for the four Premiership sides in the competition. Arsenal failed to climb the mountain they’d made for themselves after their first leg defeat in Munich and Manchester United also crashed out, unable to score in three hours of football against AC Milan. On the upside Chelsea scraped through and Liverpool made light work of Bayer Leverkusen. In the UEFA cup the story was a similar one as Middlesbrough left themselves a tough task ahead after a first leg defeat at home to Sporting Lisbon, but Newcastle United did well in Greece and look set to progress. Perhaps Alan Shearer might get to lift a trophy for his beloved hometown team before he hangs up his boots after all. Here’s hoping.

So cue the usual debate we’ve become used to hearing about the standard of English football, its dodgy defending, too many ‘Johnny Foreigners’ in the Premiership and so on. Usually at this time of year people start casting envious eyes to the Spanish giants who have cruised through to the latter Champions League stages, and the doom-mongers start finding every fault they can with the English game.

Not this year, though. Both Real Madrid and Barcelona also went out, and that means no Spanish representation in the last eight for the first time in over ten years. Perhaps they’re looking enviously toward the Premiership for a change?

So let’s look on the bright side. Whilst disappointing surely there is no shame in losing to the likes of AC Milan or Bayern Munich? Some folks believe that the English sides have some God-given right to progress through to the semi-finals at least, but at this level of football the margins separating the teams can be wafer-thin. A defensive error here, a missed chance there or even just a slice of cruel luck can mean a visit to the travel agents to cancel your European travel plans for another year. Arsenal, for instance, came nail-bitingly close to an all-important second goal that would mean the difference between glum faces in the dressing room and the popping corks of champagne.

The cold reality is these days, with the exception of Porto last season; the Champions League will probably be won by one of Europe’s four or five football heavyweights. Milan, Juventus and Bayern will fancy their chances, but these teams hardly set the pulse racing. What the competition needs is excitement, but thanks to the dual fear of losing both the match and the pots of money that come with progression, many ties in the knockout stages often become dull, negative affairs.

Whilst United’s run to the title in 1999 was exciting and Real Madrid are always pleasing on the eye, perhaps the last time an unexpected team swept everybody off their feet was Ajax’s march to the trophy in 1995. The Dutch side played some scintillating football and their crop of players became famous throughout the world -van der Saar, the de Boers, Edgar Davids, Seedorf, Kluivert and Jari Litmanen to name just a few. But after their win the inevitable happened. The big boys flexed their financial muscles and the team was torn into pieces, dissipating the talent around the usual suspects once again. Even the manager Louis van Gaal didn’t hang around long before heading to Barcelona. Romance is dead and money, as ever, still talks.

So whilst monitoring the progress of the four remaining English clubs left in Europe I’m also keeping one eye on French champions Lyon, or Olympique Lyonnais if you’re being picky. Here’s a side that murdered the German champions Werder Bremen 10-2 on aggregate and play attacking, attractive football. Most importantly they try to win games by scoring goals by the truckload. Great! And if it’s a strange concept for an Englishman to follow the fortunes of a foreign side, and in particular a French one at that, consider the fact that more Englishmen featured in Real Madrid’s team than Arsenal’s last week. I rest my case.

So I’m signing off with three words I never thought I’d hear myself say. No, not THOSE three words - I barely even know you - but “Vive la France”.

It would be fitting if Meatloaf had sung that one too, but I doubt he did.

The week is a contrast in courses

IPGC Golf from Lewiinski’s

Sunday March 6
Green Valley
Stableford

1st A Flight: Graham Holmes, 39 pts
2nd A Flight:David Mascari, 37 pts
3rd A Flight: Brian Holden, 37 pts
1st B Flight: John Hillier, 37 pts
2nd B Flight: Bob Allen, 36 pts
3rd B Flight: John Mills, 36 pts
1st C Flight: Frank Pilkington, 35 pts
2nd C Flight: Larry Nicholas, 34 pts
3rd C Flight: Peter Barathy, 34 pts
1st D Flight: Tik Mayer, 37 pts
2nd D Flight: Nat Meesuk, 36 pts
3rd D Flight: Peter Lee, 36 pts
Near Pins: #13 Frank Pilkington; #16 Chris Lapthorne

As many of our readers know, Green Valley Rayong is the tacit home course of the Lewiinski’s Golf Society, and it must be said that over the long haul the relationship has resulted in a great deal of accommodation for our popular Sunday outings. However, it is also of note that we bring 60-70 golfers there about 60 dates a year. Thats 30-40 members of the Society have taken out a membership at Green Valley. You do the math to determine what that means in annual revenue, not forgetting the money spent on caddies, tips, kiosks and in the restaurant. That notwithstanding, they find it in the baht-hungry hearts to delay our tee-times without notice now and again. It must be said that this is a trait common to a number of area courses whose preference the one-time Pattaya visit of foreigners in favor of the year round support of locals and long term vacationers. Sigh! And so it will be, but at least Lewiinski’s will send a volley over their heads by taking the Sunday show to Eastern Star next week, and who knows from there.

Grumbling now aside, it is on to golf. Graham Holmes showed the field that he was well on the road to recovery from some health concerns experienced over the last several months by leading the day and the premier Flight with 39 points. As for the balance of the podium, Brian Holden knew he was in for it when he found out he was in a count back with the Pres’ brother for A Flight second. How do you win that? And he didn’t. But farewell to David as he returns to Houston after a visit that was all too short, both in his eyes and in those of the lads and lasses of the Society. It is hoped he can sneak back between his annual cycles.

Johnny Hillier led B Flight where A Flight left off, that is with 37 points. This left the triumvirate of Bob Allen (pity the moniker Capt. Fogg is taken so worthily), John Mills and Nick Payne vying for two places armed with only their 36 points. Nick was handed nothing but an empty bag as the mathematics handed Bob the silver and John the bronze.

Since numerology is the apparent theme of this article, we will keep it going by pointing out that C Flight’s podium starts by taking a point off the third place B Flight finisher and, voila, you have the winning score in the penultimate flight. Frankie “The Pilk” had that winning 35 points and another triumvirate, this time in the persons of Larry Nicholas, Peter Barathy and Peter Emslie trailed at 34 points. The Irish Curmudgeon had the best of it as his count back carried him to second and because there was, as there are in many relationships, one Peter too many, Mr. Barathy was handed a bronze and Mr. Emslie had to view the prize giving from sea level.

The gals placed their stamp on D Flight as Tik Mayer stood on the top step with 37 points. The Nat(ural), with even an to handicap 36 points, edged Peter “Lumpy” Lee on count back to leave the gals one-two in the junior Flight.

Monday March 7
Bangpakong Riverside
White Tees
Stroke/Medal

1st A Flight: Claus Birk Thomsen, net 65
2nd A Flight: Gordon Kerr, net 66
3rd A Flight: Ron Claridge, net 70
1st B Flight: Natsuda Heitman, net 66
2nd B Flight: Jim Bell, net 66
3rd B Flight: Harvey Samuel, net 66
Near Pin: #16 Ron Claridge

We had scheduled Bangpakong to be an optional tee box day, that is, with players choosing to play either the Blue tees or the White Tees. The Course Management knew better and restricted the Society to the White Tees. So the lads went out and emasculated the course. I am sure Billy Borta would like to thank them as his net 67 finished out of the money!

Bangpakong Riverside which has many of the trappings of a championship course with water and hazards happens to play a bit easier because of its fine condition, its level-to-fairway-height greens, and its putt able greenside sand bunkers. Not only is the competitor not faced with a difficult shot, that he may not have, but he avoids the total dissection of his game that a bad shot, or bad hole, can bring.

But victory still must be attained and those that excelled did so better than anyone else on the day. That accolade certainly applies to Claus Birk Thomsen who was Man of the Match with a net 65. He was closely followed by Gordon “the Galloping Gourmet” Kerr’s 66. Ron Claridge brought home a 70 for some loot. Sorry Billy Borta, you were in the wrong Flight!

In B Flight, the most favorably distributed 66 was turned in by Rolf’s better half, Natsuda Hietman. She was followed up the steps by Jim Bell’s 66, the latter being a little more favorably distributed than Harvey Samuel’s 66. Yeah, we see ya down there Billy Borta. Sorry, maybe next time!

Wednesday March 9
Treasure Hill
White Tees
Stableford

1st A Flight: Simon Philbrook, 31 pts
2nd A Flight: Steve Mascari, 30 pts
3rd A Flight: Mike Withers, 30 pts
1st B Flight: Natsuda Heitman, 34 pts
2nd B Flight: Peter Barathy, 31 pts
3rd B Flight: Eddy Beilby, 30 pts
Near Pins: #2 Mark White

What a difference a course makes! And some distance (6,726 yards). And some dryness. The same guys and gals and their same sacks of clubs took on the sometime diabolical design of Yoshikazu Kato, who also fathered the Canyon Course at Thailand’s most fabled course, Blue Canyon. I should stop the article right here and leave the winners to their anonymity, but we never do that. Actually the ‘Player of the Day’ and a winner Monday, as well, “Nat” Heitman came within a couple of her handicap at 34 points, but that can’t be said about the balance, however. Peter Barathy and Eddy Beilby, with 31 points and 30 points, respectively, rounded out B Flight. Tom Barr maintained his good name by losing out on count back to Eddy. In A Flight the news was even less meritorious as Simon Philbrook’s 31 mastered the Pres and the local TV celeb, Mike Withers.

Friday March 11
Phoenix - Lake/Ocean
Blue or White Tees
Stroke/Medal

1st Blue Flight: Mark White, net 72
2nd Blue Flight: Mark Haffenden, net 72
3rd Blue Flight: Rick Sharp, net 73
1st White A Flight: Kevin Dunne, net 68
2nd White A Flight: Colin Davis, net 69
3rd White A Flight: John Hillier, net 69
1st White B Flight: Jim Bell, net 67
2nd White B Flight: Tom Barr, net 71
3rd White B Flight: Ray Dell, net 71

2’s: Eddy Beilby, Colin Davis, John Emmerson, Mark Haffenden, Adi Mayer, Rick Sharp, and Charles Sheppard

Phoenix, once a relative patsy to score on, drew in its newly grown claws a bit to let the gang excel, especially after the schooling administered at Treasure Hill, two days earlier. And it must be additionally said, that that Lake/Ocean couplet is probably the easiest of the pairings on this 27-hole layout.

The Bombers, about one-third of the field, stepped back to the 6,624 yard Blue Tees and showed the justice in their choice as Mark White edged the 1 handicapped Mark Haffenden at net 72. The ol’ Hermit reared his head again to take third at net 73.

Jim Bell was ‘Man of the Match’ on the 6,368 yard White layout with his White Division, B Flight winning net 67. Harvey Samuel didn’t have a chance at the podium once it was noticed that to win the count back at net 71 you needed to have three letters in your first name (as in Jim, Tom or Ray) and four letters in your last name (as in Bell, Barr, and Dell).

Kevin Dunne, who just missed the best score on the day, with his net 68, led the top flight of the White Division. Colin Davis and John Hillier locked up in a count back with the old Donkey not giving any quarter to his friend, the always pleasant John Hillier.

The Golf Manager thought he might give the gang a little change of pace by replacing the Near Pins competition with a “2s” competition. He just hoped somebody would score a gross “2” on a hole. Well, in accordance with Murphy’s Law, there were seven “2’s” leaving each winner with about enough loot to purchase this issue of Pattaya Mail.

Tuesday March 8
Noble Place
Stableford

Bright and breezy for brekkers at Bert’s, crispy bacon butty, then off to Great Lake to play a course we have not played for some time. Well that was the plan until Bob phoned up for a couple more tees and was told that yes we had booked but so had several bus loads of the ‘ Visitors’, so we went Noble place and it will be a long time before we play Great Lakes again.

Winners Andy Evans (left), Division B and Frank Pilkington (right), Division A with staff from Bert’s.

So off to Noble Place a few weeks early, and the course had recovered some from last time we played it, so not only was it cheap, but it also was cheerful.

Round over, with some good scores in, it was back in the transport and a quick trip back to Bert’s. The road is improving on this trip, and maybe one day it will all be motorway and Noble place will be much more in demand.

Back at Bert’s the pots were simmering gently, and the hungry golfers soon emptied them, before Bob declared the scores on the doors. The Division A winner was Frank Pilkington with Richard Tahtinen in second. In Division B, that regular player, and winner, Andy Evans came to the fore with Joe Albright in second.

Presentation over all enjoyed a quiet and peaceful night as dusk descended and Differs got under way.

Please Note: that on March 22, Tropical Bert’s will go to Phoenix now and not Noble Place. T.T.F.N.

Near Pins: Mike Winfield, Michael Anderson, Jannie Jasperre, Marcel Brunet, Bob Lawrence, Chris Van Vorshussen, Allan Gummer and Bob Noble

Long Putts: Mike Dige, Tom Barr, Frank Pilkington, Nooket Gummer and Toy Theobald.