Bachli bags a brace for the week

PSC golf from The Café Kronborg

Derek Brook
Monday, May 26, Crystal Bay – Stableford
Crystal Bay was the venue for a stableford competition over the A & B Nines. The course on the day was quite playable even though it was not it’s old ‘pristine self’ but they still wanted pristine price green fees. However, we did have hot showers for the second time in three years, will miracles never cease.
On the day Walter Bachli took first place with 38 points ahead of Peter Singh Basi in second with 33 points on count back over Takeshi Hakozaki in third.
Thursday, May 29, Pattana – Stableford
This is just a fine place to play 18 holes. The clubhouse has to be the best around and the course is well manicured. On this day it was also empty despite the new attractive green fee making this place even more playable. This part of the area is really ready to take off with the road there now user-friendly.

The week’s double winner Walter Bachli.

So the players started on B1, and for those who know the hole, it is a terrifying drive. Water to the left of you, water to the right, and to top it all off water in front of you. That is all very well but when it is windy this hole is even more difficult, and surprise, surprise, on this day the wind was howling. The joys of golf.
Still we battled around, and the fairways were their usual excellent condition, but the greens were a little hairy, they could have done with a cut. Then onto the C Nine and the wind still blew but the greens were a little faster.
Round over and sat in this fine clubhouse it was obvious that a good round would win, and we had one. So the winner for the second time in the week was Walter Bachli with a fine 38 points. In second was Brian Wilkinson with 34 points, ahead of a count back on 33 points that saw Mark Brenton in third and Ted Morris in fourth. In fifth was P.S. Basi with 31 points. T.T.F.N.

Smith steals the show at Greenwood

PSC golf from The Bunker

Monday, May 26, Pattana – Stableford
1st Gerry Cooney (11) 36pts
2nd Mario Benavidez (26) 34pts
3rd Colin Greig (14) 33pts
4th Paul Smith (3) 33pts
Playing Stableford at Pattana Golf and Sports Resort on the B & C courses, Gerry Cooney had a good day winning with a very solid 36 points ahead of Mario Benavidez, who scored 34 points playing off handicap 26. In third place came Colin Greig who beat his old sparring partner in to fourth place on a count back, both scoring 33 points.
Colin and Gerry got in on the act winning a near pin prize too along with John King and Eddie Martin.
Wednesday, May 28, Greenwood – Medal
1st Paul Smith (3) net 70
2nd Gerry Cooney (11) net 71
3rd Alan Sullivan (16) net 73
Paul Smith stole the show today winning with a great two-under par net 70 (gross 73) to push a disappointed Gerry Cooney, who shot a fine net 71, in to second place. Alan Sullivan took third place on a count back with a net 73.
Only two par three greens were hit and it was Paul Smith who hit them keeping the whole pot to himself.
Friday, May 30, Bangpra - Bunker v Tropical Berts (Matchplay)
Two full teams gathered at Bangpra, which now resembles a building site and cannot be considered money well spent even for 500 baht. Many of the tees are being replaced, the black, blue and white tees being together just short of the ladies tees on those holes making the holes concerned a mockery. Unfortunately the course as a whole is suffering and it will be some time before we return here.

John Hughes (right) was the Bunker’s ‘golfer of the month’ for May.

Despite all the problems we had a very enjoyable day with 6 of the games finishing on the last hole. Geoff Parker and Gerry Cooney broke the pattern by winning comfortably, both 5 & 4, but Colin Greig met his match with John Heffernon, both trading birdies on the back nine with Colin only losing by 1 hole.
Allan Sullivan, 4 down after 8, was not looking forward to the comments from his team mates and raised his game to halve with Dick Warberg but it could have been an expensive day for Dick, missing a hole in one by the odd inch or so. PJ Redmond, being 1 down on the 14th got his game together to win the next 4 holes. William Macey went 3 down after 5 to halve with Richard Line, both players sharing 5 birdies on the back nine and Roger Privett went the other way to go 3 up after 5 to win on the last.
The two lowest handicaps Paul Smith and Dave Arrowsmith had a hard contest with neither giving any quarter but Paul came out on top to win 2 & 1.
The Bunker Bar was the happier of the two teams at the end winning 7 & 3.

Raimon Land PC Classic Regatta: A day to remember

by Peter Cummins, Pattaya
It was, indeed, a magnificent day: an 8-10 knot southerly and good cloud cover to keep the sailors somewhat cooler. There was no rain and a slightly “lumpy” sea, according to Saranya Makinson, a Tiger “tiger” who finished second in that class, which was won by the “French Connection”, Jean-Philippe/Patrice.

The ubiquitous “PC” (second left) with a group of happy sailors.
But let us not jump ahead too much. The occasion was the 14th sailing of the “Raimon Land PC Classic International Regatta”, held off the Royal Varuna Yacht Club last Saturday, May 31.
This has been an ongoing event, inaugurated in 1995, to celebrate the birthday of the 10th Royal Varuna Commodore, “old PC” who, at the same time turned 60 and was repatriated out of his soft, cushy job at the United Nations in Bangkok. It was rumoured that there was a huge crowd at Don Muang airport to see him off at the time. However, everyone there (the whole three of them) said, “we came out to the airport to make sure that he leaves.” But, of course, old PC did his repatriation in accordance with UN staff rules, went down to Tasmania and then rushed right back to Thailand where he now lives in Pattaya.

A group of Lasers jockey for position.
Meantime, since the inaugural event, the regatta has become a fixture in the northern Gulf, although not becoming bigger but, rather, better. When Raimon Land decided to add this fixture to the many marine-related events which the company supports, it was an imprimateur for excellence.
Five classes participated on the day with, as noted already, Jean-Philippe/Patrice edging out Saranya and Nick Henley to take out the Hobie Tiger class while perennial Hobie Cat champion team, Damrongsak Vongtim and teenager Kendra Norton made no mistakes in the Multihull Class, bringing the Hobie Cat 16 to the top of a fleet dominated by Nacras, with James Pichon, Alberto Cassio and Jan Holldorff, second to fourth, respectively.
Royal Varuna Vice Commodore, Kevin Whitcraft dominated the Laser Class, winning from former Commodore Suwan Poopoksakul, Stefano Cassio and Charlie Zbinden, who occupied the minor placings.

Racing preparations on a Hobie Tiger.
Another Whitcraft (or, two of them actually), Don beat Nick and his brother Dylan, who were second and third in the junior Optimist racing.
Not to be out-done, yet another Varuna Commodore, Chris King, with Lise and Steve, sailed their 27 Trimaran up from the Ocean Marina, competed to win their class, sailed immediately back to the Marina and arrived by the land-route just as PC was downing his second beer. That was some effort (Chris King’s, that was; not PC’s).

An Optimist (foreground) trails a Laser on the way out to sea.

With typical Raimon Land sponsorship, there was a splendid awards ceremony, buffet and lots of libations throughout the night.
Then, hardly were the hulls dry from the PC Regatta, than the 7th Koh Samui International Regatta was off and running, so to speak, sailing out off the splendid waters contiguous to Koh Samui and the surrounding islands. Raimon Land is again a major sponsor, joining the Centara Grand Beach Resort and the Singha Corporation for the week-long regatta.

The splendid awards ceremony was well received
by all - especially the prize winners.

AustCham Charity Golf

By Dr. Iain Corness
The annual Australian Chamber of Commerce (AustCham) Charity Golf Open is being held at the Phoenix Golf Club on June 13. The recipient of the charity funds is once again the Camillian Center, Rayong. A very deserving charity which looks after unfortunate children suffering from AIDS. Anything that can be done to assist these children, who are the real victims of the AIDS epidemic gets my support, and if the turn-out in previous years is anything to go by, it gets your support too.
It is a shotgun start at noon, with registration from 11 a.m. and the fee is only B. 8,000 for a team of four golfers, which covers both green fees and caddies. Make up a team and have some fun, knowing that you are helping children.
There are all the usual prizes around the course and a car for a Hole-in-One, and it is very possible to do this at Phoenix. It has been done before and can be done again!
The fun does not end on the 18th green however, as all golfers competing are invited to join the AustCham Seaboard Sundowners which is being held at the Marriott Resort and Spa, with free-flow drinks from 6 p.m. through to 9 p.m. with the legendary Marriott food as well. What a way to celebrate the 19th hole, as all golfers are being given members rates to join and enjoy the Sundowners.
You are encouraged to book early as it was oversubscribed last year, and you don’t want to be turned away. You can contact the Australian Chamber by email [email protected], or the organizer of the event, Paul Wilkinson at 081 903 9477 or email paul.wilkinson @agsfourwinds.com.

Colin takes it on the line

PSC golf from Tropical Bert’s

Derek Brook
Tuesday, May 27, Plutaluang – Stableford
There is always something special about the last match of the month, as it usually provides a surprise winner of ‘The Alan Bolton Golfer of The Month’ award. On this day as we met at Bert’s for brekkers, the favourites were Perry and Dick who both had 3 points. The winners of the two counting previous games were not in town, so could we have a surprise winner? All Dick and Perry needed was a second place.

Colin Cronin (right) accepts the golfer of the month award from Craig Turner of Alan Bolton Property Consultants.
Off we went to Plutaluang, and we played the South and East Nines. I have to say that this 18 holes is getting better and is now a pleasure to play and of course it saves having to get the cattle off the other 18 holes. Can you believe that some of our players actually wanted to play North and West? We will visit them at ‘The Home’. They tried to tell me it was a real test. 
The South and East on the day also proved to be a real test, and a strong wind did not help. A lot of work has gone into the improvements and while it still has a lot of long leaf grass, the greens are now quite good. Probably this 18 holes is the best value around, especially with the changing room facilities and the prices in the restaurant. Mind, Greenwood pushes it close and the course is better.
We had a slow round as we encountered some ‘many-balls’, still it was not too bad.
Back at Bert’s all awaited the results, however it soon became apparent that Perry and Dick had both had a bad day. So to the results and the winner with 35 points was Colin Cronin with Mashi Kenata in second with 34 points, Tom Cotton in third with 33 points and Richard Line in fourth on count back over John Heffernam, both 32 points.
With this result Colin Cronin was catapulted into the lead and became ‘The Alan Bolton Golfer of the Month’, well done Colin. T.T.F.N.
Near Pin: Colin Cronin, Dick Warberg, Peter King
Long Putt: Steve Hamstad, Colin Cronin

Bailey & Porter shoot 40-pointers

PSC Golf from The Outback Golf

Joey’s Column
Monday, May 26, Burapha - Stableford
A & B again today from the blues and the three-month long summer eclectic competition is beginning to take shape: Pottsy is in the lead on 47 points, Rosco’s on 46, with Frank O’Neill 42 & Neil Hughes & John Stafford both on 41.
Four musketeers joined the Outbackers today, and three of them finished in the winners’ circle. Namely Dave Porter, who took the B Division with 42 pts, welcome to your new handicap; from his playing partner Kevin who was beaten into second place by Alan Bishop, both with 35. The third musketeer, Joe had a creditable 34 points to take second in Div A.
Regular Outbacker Neil was the winner of A Division, whilst Pottsy, Bazza and Jochiam were split by count back in that order in Div C.
Div A (0-13)
1st Neil Hughes (13) 36pts
2nd Joe Mooneyhan (11) 34pts
3rd Briany Christie (1) 34pts
4th Donald Frances (11) 34pts
Div B (14-19)
1st Dave Porter (14) 42pts
2nd Alan Bishop (17) 35pts
3rd Kevin Moraghan (18) 35pts
4th David Headington (18) 34pts
Div C (20+)
1st Cambell Potts (20) 34pts
2nd Barry Rothberg (20) 34pts
3rd Joachim Oestreicher (25) 34pts
4th Geoff Moodie (24) 33pts
2’s: Don Frances & Neil Hughes
Tuesday, May 27, Phoenix - Stableford
Another 10 Outbackers this week - come on guys, this is the best time to play - and yet another rollover 2’s.
Barry & Bob had the best rounds of the day and could only be separated after a count back. Ocean is now closed as Lakes has reopened. It was Micky Leighton’s last game prior to returning to the UK for a couple of months and Carey’s first card in an attempt to get a handicap.
1st Barry Chadbourn (20) 35pts
2nd Bob Rasmussen (14) 35pts
3rd Bob Pearce (11) 32pts
Wednesday, May 28, Kiarti Thanee - Stableford
When the Outbackers came here last summer on August 27, it was so wet the roads were impassable for the coach and they were ferried to the course by improvised taxi. Today was a different story with the road complete and no sign of rain. The course is well worth the trip but go to km28 to make the ‘U’ turn, turn before and the frontage road cannot be accessed.
The course was in good condition and played long but not too long for Capt’ Bob who ‘streeted’ the field with an excellent 38 points. Next best was Trevor in A Division, whilst Bruce McAdam stole the B Divison honours with 33.
Div A (0-16)
1st Bob Philp (6) 38pts
2nd Trevor Loesch (14) 35pts
3rd Tony Kitchen (15) 33pts
4th Marty Alred (0) 33pts
Div B (16+)
1st Bruce McAdam (20) 33pts
2nd Paul Quodomine (24) 32pts
3rd Norm Martin (23) 30pts
4th Pottsy (20) 29pts
2’s: Bruce Milner & Bill Hewitt.
Friday, May 30, Siam Plantation – Stableford
Tapioca was closed today, so Sugarcane (course A) was the front nine and Pineapple (course C) was the back. Sugarcane is an undulating nine constructed round the hill that can be seen from the highway. It is surprisingly peaceful, with a faint murmur of the traffic in the background. The caddies have a tough time running around to and from the carts, which are not allowed off the paths, with armfuls of clubs. Neil, who was in one of the many greenside bunkers, called out to his caddie, “hah sip paet” and she promptly brought him a five iron and an eight iron! Maybe she was new!
It’s not golf as we know it, but it looks as though it’s here to stay. One cart per golfer - what happened to the traditional Saturday or Sunday morning four-ball?
A special welcome today to a couple of Caddyshack stalwarts, Jeff North & Graham Beaumont, watch out on June 9; and also to a couple of Cafe Kronborg stalwarts, Dave Richardson & Kevin Dinan.
Ken Bailey took the course apart with an amazing 41pts off 16 handicap (now 14), the best of the rest was Don Pavlovic’s 34. Briany & Pottsy took their respective A & C divisions, with just 30 points apiece.
Unfortunately, the scorecards will not be submitted for handicap purposes for the time being, since there is a mixture of tees being used. Hopefully over the next few weeks it will be possible to rate each hole from each tee box to determine the overall rating and slope for the course as played. Thanks must also go to the Plantation management, who once again gave us a two-tee start.
Div A (0-12)
1st Briany Christie (1) 30pts
2nd Paul Greenaway (12) 29pts
3rd Ken Little (11) 29pts
4th David Richards (6) 28pts
Div B (13-19)
1st Ken Bailey (16) 41pts
2nd Don Pavlovic (15) 34pts
3rd Rosco Langoulant (17) 32pts
4th Neil Hughes (13) 31pts
Div C (20 +)
1st Cambell Potts (20) 30pts
2nd Joachim Oestreicher (25) 30pts
3rd Bruce McAdam (20) 28pts
4th William (John) King (24) 26pts
Friday, May 30, Green Valley - Stableford
Every other Friday, the Outback Golf Bar will run an alternative venue as well as Siam Plantation, this week was the little publicised visit to Green Valley, which was not busy and reportedly in good condition.
It was mainly a family affair between the Doodys and the Chadbourns, with Barry coming on top with a fine 39 points. On June 13 it will be the Emerald.
1st Barry Chadbourn (20) 39pts
2nd Kathy Doody (19) 36pts
Note: The Outback Golf Bar is situated about 6km from Sukhumvit Road along Soi Siam Country. All are welcome to come and join us for a beer and a hit. Just call in and put your name down on the list or give Bob a call on 087 941 2474.
Now we have our own minibus and have started regular Pattaya pickups on our golf days. Exclusive deal at Siam’s new Plantation course every Friday. More information can be found on our website www.outbackgolfbar.com.

‘Ladies Day’ at Eastern Star

Jomtien Golf with the I.P.G.C.

Monday, May 26, Pattana – Stableford
Our first visit here for some considerable time, as the green fee had been reduced, and we had a turnout of 32 players with the majority all wanting to return next month.
With a two-divisional rollover in the 2’s competition it was all to play for today and Chris Holmes birdied the 175yd C7 hole to take the division 1 pot, while Gordon Everingham and Tom Novak shared the division 2 kitty.
In the nearest the pins competition, Grenville Hill, Andy Mills, Dave Richards and Andrew Sheppard all won in division 1 while Jack Hinchey, Tom Novak and Miss Nom were the division 2 winners.
In the stableford event, Miss Nom beat William Chang on a 16/15 count back to take third place in division 2 after they both finish on 31 points, in second was Gordon Everingham on 34, and the winner by three points was Mam Morel on 37 points.
In division 1, Grenville Hill came in first with 36 points followed by Chris Holmes on 34 and in third place was Paul Butler with 33 points.
Friday, May 30, Eastern Star – Stableford
Our normal Friday gathering, and with 4 temporary greens today a very deserted course. A few words were said to the management after the round asking why they cannot put the white tees back to the blue tee position while the substitute greens are so far forward. Whether this will happen remains to be seen.
Russell Benson’s 36 points earned him third place in the stableford competition while the two ladies were smiling all the way to the bank after Miss Nom finished second with 37 points and Miss Oam was our winner with 38 points.
There were no 2’s recorded on the day.

Robert’s “Double – Double”

Golf from the Travellers Rest

Barry Hooper
Last week I reported on the fact that Robert Lamond had made a double win. Well this week he did it again and achieved his second double win in consecutive weeks.
At Khao Kheow on Tuesday he won on count back from Roger Wilkinson and on Thursday at Phoenix he was two clear of second place Fergus Brennan. He is on top of his game and it is well deserved.
Monday, May 26, Green Valley – Stableford
1st Phil Knight (12) 41pts
2nd Peter Morris (25) 40pts
3rd Fergus Brennan (11) 36pts
2’s: Fergus Brennan, Ray Allison

(Main Picture) Saturday’s winners: Paul Challis, Daw from TRGG staff and Fergus Brennan. (Inset) 2 weeks double winner: Robert Lamond.
On Monday we visited Green Valley - a great course that keeps on getting better.
The numbers were moderate with a field of fourteen but the scoring was high and I am sure that Peter Morris with his forty points on the card thought he was in with a chance. But not so, Phil Knight came firing in with forty-one to steal the day. In third place was Fergus Brennan (Mr Organiser) who seems to have got his game back in shape after a recent slump in form.
Fergus also took a ‘2’ along with Ray Allison whilst Phil Knight rang the bell on his return to celebrate his win.
Tuesday, May 27, Khao Kheow - Stableford
1st Robert Lamond (8) 34pts
2nd Roger Wilkinson (15) 34pts
3rd Phil Knight (11) 32pts
4th Rick Scramm (9) 31pts
2’s: Brian Beupre and Phil Knight
Tuesday’s outing was to Khao Kheow with a small turnout but everyone was singing the praises of the course afterwards.
It was that man again Robert Lamond, who with some great golf and a better back nine than Roger Wilkinson, managed to take the day after both finished on thirty four points. Phil Knight, after his previous day’s win, only managed third on this occasion with thirty-two.
Brian Beupre and Phil Knight shared the 2’s pot.
Thursday, May 29, Phoenix (Mountain and Lakes) - Stableford
Division 1 (0-16)
1st Robert Lamond (8) 40pts
2nd Fergus Brennan (11) 38pts
3rd Brian Beupre (6) 37pts
4th Rich Scramm (10) 35pts
Division 2 (17-up)
1st Harvey Samuel (17) 34pts
2nd Orowan Sodok (20) 33pts
3rd Alan Webber (23) 33pts
4th Eddie Towsend (18) 33pts
c/b Ted Senior (17) 33pts
2’s: Fergus Brennan and Jack Mooney
Thursday was a trip to Phoenix and we had a large turnout with some twenty-three players in attendance, so two divisions were required. This course is always very popular with the members.
Robert Lamond, after his narrow win on Tuesday, left it in no doubt on this day with some awesome golf and he was a clear four-point winner for his second win of the week and for the second week in a row.
Second again, just as last week, was (Mr. Organiser) Fergus Brennan again with thirty-eight points and just the one back in third was Brian Beupre on thirty-seven.
Robert, as a result of his double win again this week, was cut another shot in his handicap to seven. Fergus was cut to ten and Brian Beupre to five.
The second division went to Harvey Samuel with thirty-four points but second, third, fourth and fifth were all decided on count back with all having scored thirty three. Orowan Sodok took the honours from Alan Webber, Eddie Townsend (both have now returned home to their native lands) and Ted Senior.
The 2’s were shared by Fergus Brennan and Jack (money) Mooney
Saturday, May 24, The Emerald - Stableford
1st Fergus Brennan (10) 36pts
2nd Roger Wilkinson (15) 36pts
3rd Paul Challis (30) 36pts
2’s: Phil Knight
Saturday and our last outing for the month was to Emerald. Yet another change of venue for our Saturday outing and this because of the conditions being found at Bangpra due to the extensive course work being undertaken.
Only a small turnout, just twelve this week, in the main because a lot of our regular visitors were returning home. But new faces keep turning up which is refreshing,
Fergus, after a third and a second earlier in the week, topped it off with a win but only after a three-way count back over Roger Wilkinson and Paul Challis who were second and third after all three had finished with thirty-six points. Phil Knight took the 2’s.

Siriporn leads the field in Diana Seniors & Ladies May Open

Mike Franklin
A splendid 42 Stableford points returned by Siriporn was the best of the day in the May 29 Diana Seniors & Ladies Open at Pattaya Country Club, to win the Ladies division. Su Murphy was runner-up with a modest 34 points but to her credit also claimed both near pins on # 12 and # 16.

May winners: Arthur Bailey, Siriporn and Tira Charuvastra.

Tira Charuvastra maintined his current form winning the Seniors with 39 points, closely followed up by runner-up Morten Gauslaa scoring 38 points. Arthur Bailey also notched up 38 points to win the Super Seniors with Frank O’Neill a couple of shots behind with 36 Stableford points.
Frank also claimed the long putt on # 18, the other on # 9 going to Philippe Berra. Chris John showed some early form by being nearest the pin on # 5 and # 7.
It was a fine, hot and breezy day with the greens and fairways up to the usual standard, but outside that some maintenance would be appreciated to improve the overall presentation of the course.
Newcomers Jan Slotten and Pimisa Tonkhoksoong were duly welcomed and welcome back Philippe Berra from Switzerland.
Thursday, June 26 is the next Diana Seniors & Ladies Open at Pattaya Country Club. Full details and sign-up sheets are at the Green Bottle Pub and Diana Garden Resort Driving Range.

The Beautiful Game?: Riz Taylor

Euro gonna love it

No club football for you this week, or indeed any week in the coming months, so instead there’s a look ahead to the European Championships, some ‘Chants of the Season’ and the beginnings of that might turn into a summer football quiz, topped off with a healthy dose of unfounded rumours.
So yes, the Euros are upon us. Frankly I have no idea who’ll win and I don’t much care either as long the tournament serves up some cracking games I can relax and enjoy. There might be no England, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales or the Republic of Ireland to support this time around, but I’m quite looking forward to a stress-free Euro 2008, safe in the knowledge that my own team can’t crash out at the quarter final stages after a penalty shootout. Bring it on.
The tournament kicks off with one of the host nations, Switzerland, facing off against the Czech Republic in Basle on Saturday night, whilst Portugal and Turkey play afterwards to round out Group A’s first encounters. Sunday sees Austria open against Croatia and then Germany against Poland, and then on Monday it’s the ‘Group of Death’ as Romania play France and the Netherlands face Italy. That leaves us with Group D, where Spain, Russia, champions Greece and Sweden will battle for two qualifying places.
I’m not daft enough to predict a winner, but I will predict some top-notch international football involving 16 sides desperate to get their hands on the trophy. No English-speaking nations, No problem. But let’s not make a habit of it.
Rumour Mill
Cristiano Ronaldo is off to Real Madrid after the European Championship, says every newspaper in the Western world. “Oh no he’s not”, say Manchester United. Repeat until bored senseless.
Meanwhile the world’s richest club, Queen’s Park Rangers (no really) have chosen to raise some of their season ticket prices by up to 36 per cent for the forthcoming season.
Major League Soccer (MLS) has revealed that around 300,000 of Beckham’s Los Angeles Galaxy replica jerseys were sold in the past year, three or four times the number of the biggest basketball or baseball stars in the United States. “Selling 300,000 Beckham jerseys, more than any other American sports jersey sold anywhere in the world — that is according to Adidas, the No 1 shirt seller in the world,” said Don Garber, the commissioner of the MLS. “It is more than Kobe Bryant and LeBron James [star basketball players]. Around 75,000 to 80,000 sales is good for a leading player.”
Mark Hughes, Roberto Mancini and Luis Felipe Scolari are among those on Chelsea’s shortlist for the vacant managerial job, but Guus Hiddink, countryman Frank Rijkaard and the recently sacked money-grabbing Sven Goran-Eriksson are not major contenders to replace Avram Grant. Former Juventus coach and Chelsea midfielder Didier Deschamps is also telling everyone who’ll listen that he’s also on the hit-list.
Chants of the season
Here’s a selection of some of the season’s best chants at British grounds as voted for on the BBC’s website earlier this week. More to come next week.
“Andy Cole, Andy Cole, Andy, Andy Cole. He gets the ball, he scores a goal, 10 years ago,” sung by Sunderland fans at Everton in the 7-1 defeat.
“35 quid, you’re having a laugh” – the Sunderland supporters are less than impressed with Birmingham City’s pricing policy.
“Vieira, woah oh” – Arsenal fans respond to Sunderland chants of “One Keano” at the Stadium of Light.
“Feed the Scousers, let them know it’s Christmas time” – festive favourite from Manchester United fans.
“Oh my God I can’t believe it, we’ve never been this good away from home!” - Leeds fans (to the tune of Kaiser Chiefs’ Oh My God)
“Ohh! We’re half way there! Ohh-ohh! Aliadiere!” - Middlesbrough (Bon Jovi’s Living On A Prayer)
“We don’t need no Phil Scolari, We don’t need Mourinho, Hey! Thaksin! Leave our Sven alone!” - Man City (Pink Floyd’s Another Brick In The Wall)
“Hey Nicky you’re so fine, you’re so fine, you’re two behind, hey Nicky!” - Bishop Stortford (Toni Basil’s Hey Mickey - sung to St Albans goalkeeper Nick Eyre)
“Anderson-son-son, he’s better than Kleberson, Anderson-son-son, he’s our midfield magician, To the left to the right we’ll dance the samba beat tonight, He is class, our midfield brass, and he dumps on Fabregas!” - Man Utd (Black Lace’s Agadoo)
“When we find ourselves in times of trouble, Kevin Keegan comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, Geremi!” - Newcastle (The Beatles’ Let It Be)
“That’s Ju-ande, Ju-ande Ramos!” - Tottenham (Elvis Presley’s The Wonder Of You)
“I am the Music Man. I come from far away. And I can play (what can you play?) I Play The Pienaar! Pi Pi Pi Pi Pienaaaaaar!” - Everton (Black Lace’s ‘Music Man’)
“Boom, boom, boom, let me hear you say Yeo, Yeooo!” - Chester (The Outhere Brothers’ Boom Boom Boom - to Simon Yeo)
“You better watch out, You better beware, He’s good on the ground and he’s good in the air, Santa Cruz is coming to town.” - Blackburn (to the tune of ‘Santa Claus Is Coming to Town’)
“Sunday, Monday, Habib Beye, Tuesday, Wednesday, Habib Beye, Thursday, Friday, Habib Beye, Saturday, Habib Beye, rocking all week with you!” - Newcastle (Happy Days theme tune)
 ”You don’t know what you’re doing!” - West Brom fans after a fan had his marriage proposal accepted by his girlfriend during half-time v Scunthorpe.
“Strawberry blond? You’re having a laugh!” - Crystal Palace’s ginger-haired midfielder Ben Watson gets a ribbing from QPR.
“Oh Kasper, whoah, whoh, oh, Oh Kasper, whoah, whoh, oh, He stands between our posts, He’s named after a ghost.” - Cardiff fans to keeper Kasper Schmeichel.
“Does your livestock know you’re here?” - Colchester fans to Norwich.
“Oh Moses, whoah oh-oh, Oh Moses, whoah oh-oh, He comes from Norbury, He parted the Red Sea.” - Victor Moses is highly rated at Crystal Palace.
Quiz
A couple of teasers to finish us off. First up, and without the benefit of an interweb, name the three players with the surname ‘Taylor’ that lined-up in the Wigan versus Birmingham City Premier League match on April 6.
Once you’re done with that one, in the 1996 FA Cup semi finals Liverpool beat Aston Villa and Manchester United scraped past Chelsea to head off to Wembley. Nothing remarkable about that, you’ll agree, but this was the last time that four British managers were represented in the FA Cup’s semi finals, and of course I want you to name them. No prizes are on offer, but if anyone sends in the correct answers I’ll happily link them with the manager’s job at a club of their choice in next week’s column. See you then..

Brian bags a double

IPGC golf from Lewiinski’s

Sunday, May 25, Green Valley - Stableford
A Flight
1st Brian Holden (8) 39pts
2nd Jack Grindvold (5) 36pts
B Flight
1st Geoff Kubas 36pts
2nd Doug Campbell (19) 35pts
2’s: Jack Grindvold (2), Chris Davisson, Mark Wood and Roy Thornton.
It seemed a quiet week, the usual Sunday golfers turned out to do battle. Perhaps it was because Wireless was having a nervous breakdown, while still trying to cope with his new handicap.
Anyway on with today, and joining the Lewiinski’s mob for the day was the illustrious Lieutenant Colonel Jack Spencer, and his sidekick Geoff “sapper” Kubas. Word has it that they were out to steal the loot this Sunday and it nearly worked. Geoff, “under strict orders,” marched to victory and won B Flight on 36pts. Second place in the flight with 35pts was Doug Campbell.
A Flight winner, and Lewiinski’s hero was Brian Holden with an excellent 39pts. The final place on the podium with 36pts was Jacko, but only after a three-way count back with Chris Davidson and Kris “ K”. “Colonel Blimp” failed to deliver, and was left to bring up the rear in A Flight.
Back at Lewiinski’s after the match, a good time was had by all with no friendly fire.
Tuesday, May 27, Laem Chabang - Stableford
1st Brian Holden (8) 39pts
2nd Andrew Sheppard (10) 36pts
3rd Serge Straeten (15) 34pts
The low season does have its good points; one is that we play this course at cheaper rates and fifteen from Lewiinski’s took up the challenge to play the A & C nines.
Sunday’s hero Brian Holden took pole position on the podium again with an excellent 39pts. Andrew Sheppard placed himself second with a creditable even par 36pts while in third was our old friend Serge Straeten with 34pts on count back, over “Colonel Blimp”. Nice to see Jack got over Sunday’s hiccup.
Wednesday, May 28, Bangpra - Stableford
Lewiinski’s match play team played the Jomtien Golf in the I P G C match play league. We can only report that the match ended all square at 4 points each. No details available at this time.
Friday, May 30, Eastern Star - Stableford
1st Seamus Cotter (11) 38pts
2nd Alec Hoare (17) 34pts
A very small field signed up to play a stableford competition, and guess who finished the week as he did last week? Yes, the smiling Irishman from County Cork, the Right Honorable Seamus Cotter. In second place on the day with 34pts was Alec Hoare
Reminder: Lewiinski’s is situated on Pattaya land Soi 1, Beach Road, Soi 13/3 near to Walking Street. Anyone wishing to play with us just pop in, and add your name on the list or alternatively give Colin a ring on 08-98260764.
Transport is provided, and every one is welcome - even Jimmy “No mates” Munns.

Fortune wins by three at Navy

PSC golf from P J Pool Bar

Ian Campbell
Tuesday, May 27, Bangpra (White Tees) - Stableford
1st Ian Campbell (22) 38pts
2nd David Gardner (8) 37pts
3rd David Johnson (21) 35pts

Pictured (L-R): Keith Hodges, Mike Jackson, Jim Fortune and David Gardner.

A quiet day at the office (but a good one for the writer) with only 9 players turning out. This course is generally a great favourite, particularly in the low season from a cost point of view, but today was a little disappointing due to the large amount of work being done to renew teeing areas on several holes, resulting in the course playing much shorter than the norm. This was probably reflected in the high average of 32 points on the day.
Near pin winners were Jim Fortune, David Gardner and Ian Campbell (twice), while nobody single putted the eighteenth to claim the longest first putt prize.
Thursday, May 29, Plutaluang S & E (White Tees) - Medal
1st Jim Fortune (27) net 71
2nd Mike Jackson (16) net 74
3rd Keith Hodges (23) net 75
4th David Gardner (8) net 77
c/b Steve Hamstad net 77
Fourteen players today competing in our monthly Medal competition - well 14 started but by the end of the day it could hardly be said that all were “competing.” I think it’s correct to say that the South/East course here is slightly less demanding of the high handicapper in Medal play than North/West, but even so congratulations must go to Jim Fortune on a fine Net 71 off his (current) handicap of 27.
The near pin winners were: Bruce Lawrence S4, Malcolm Smith (making a long awaited return to the golf course) S7, Mike Jackson E2 and David Gardner E5, while the long putt on 18 went to Mike Jackson.
Today’s winner of the Paradise Bar shirt for hitting a lot of shots but persevering to the bitter end was Bruce Lawrence.
Note: Information on the group’s venues can be obtained by visiting P J Pool Bar & Restaurant on Soi Boonsampan (Soi Khao Noi) or phone Ian on 087 834 1025.

The Square Ring: by Howie Reed

Before we get to the fight of the week, which is Kelly Pavlik and Gary ‘The Rocket” Lockett on Sunday in Atlantic City, it’s of interest to read Sir Frog’s take on Ricky Hatton’s return to ‘Merry Ole England’.
Croaking from his lily pad, cleverly disguised as Patrick’s Belgian Restaurant on Moo 10, with an assist from Simon at Shenanigans for taping the action he writes: “IBO light welterweight champion Ricky Hatton (44-1, 31 KOs) won a twelve-round unanimous decision over Juan Lazcano (37-5-1, 27 KOs). Good fight all the way with Hatton in front on points. He was wobbling in the 8th round and in the 10th round from a left hook. What was weird was when Hatton didn’t respond to the punches from Laszcano in the 10th. The referee stopped the fight for almost 1 minute, put Laszcano to his corner, said something, what? I don’t know, and told Hatton to tie up his shoe laces? Good for Hatton, saved by the referee!”
Sir Frog was more impressed with the Malignaggi fight than was TSR.
“In a re-match, IBF junior welterweight Paulie Malignaggi (25-1, 5 KOs) won a twelve-round split decision over former champion Lovemore N’dou (46-10-1, 31 KOs). Malignaggi was very fast the first six rounds, but then broke his right hand and the last six rounds there was much holding and slapping. Also, I never saw that, somebody to get a haircut in the ring, ha ha, bye-bye dreadlocks after the 8th.”
TSR thinks Malignaggi is a fraud. Malignaggi had his right hand, which was broken, operated on last week with several rods inserted and a cast applied. This is the fourth time Malignaggi has broken the same right hand. Although it would be very difficult for him to break a different right hand, wouldn’t it?
“I’m not sure how many more times I can do this,” said Malignaggi afterwards. “Obviously, it’s going to happen again. I want to be able to use my hand after boxing, but if I keep breaking it, that could cause some real problems down the road.” Dah!!!!
He also has some words of wisdom in regard to Ricky Hatton who he fights in November. “Ricky Hatton does not like to get hit,” explained Malignaggi. “I promise you, if I have two good hands, I will beat him badly. It won’t even be close.”
Yeah Paulie and if my aunt had two… well never mind, who needs two uncles?
Mundine - the quitter
While in the fraud section of TSR, how about Anthony Mundine? If you beat a person decisively twice then the odds are pretty good that the third time has no charm. That’s the way it was last week when WBA super-middle champ Anthony “The Jerk” Mundine (32-3) had no trouble disposing of Sam Soliman 117-112 and 116-112 twice.
About the only news out of this encounter was that Soliman “pantsed” Mundine at the weigh-in. “Pants” is a rather juvenile action where one pulls another’s pants down in public. That was a first in boxing.
To the credit of the WBA they refused to accept the twice beaten Sam Soliman as a title contender for Mundine and decreed that a title defense against Mikkel Kessler was necessary. The big-mouthed Mundine will probably give up his title rather than lose again to Kessler. Mundine claims to be this great fighter yet he couldn’t beat Kessler, who in turn couldn’t beat ‘Joltin’ Joe Calzaghe.
The word fraud was invented by Websters for creeps like Mundine.
Pavlik-Lockett … fight or just a payday?
Well as the lovely ladies of Pattaya like to say at the drop of a baht, “Is up to you.” It also depends on who you choose to listen to and or believe.
The bell should ring from The Boardwalk in Atlantic City sometime in the AM on Sunday morning Pattaya time. Pavlik, for his part, so far in his 33-fight career has done everything right. He’s never lost, never ducked anyone and with the exception of a couple of times in the first Taylor fight has never been in trouble. That’s one heck of a resume. He goes in, gets the job done and moves on.
There honestly is little in the current crop of middleweights that could provide a major challenge. That could change should Kessler, Lacy or Calzaghe move down but that’s not likely. Floyd Mayweather jr. moving up a couple of weights would be great but it’s not going to happen.
A quick look at Gary Lockett’s 30-1 record is all one needs to know about the boxer. He’s fought guys that are MIA from any creditable boxing sanctioning body. Lockett is “mysteriously” ranked 15th by the WBC and number 1 by the WBO, which we all knows means “We Be Ordinary.” Of course the 15th ranking by the WBC allows Pavlik to use Lockett as a WBC title fight, which means they get sanctioning fees - clever folks. No top 15 ranking and no WBC title fight.
The best thing about the pre fight “chatter” has been the cat fight between Pavlik’s trainer Jack Loew and Lockett’s conditioner Enzo Calzaghe, father of ‘Joltin’ Joe. It started when Loew opined: “Maybe Enzo can teach Lockett to slap like a girl … just like his son.” With 21 KO’s from 30 wins Lockett does appear to have a little “sting.”
“Loew had better hope and pray that Lockett doesn’t slap like Joe because if he does it’s going to be goodnight for Kelly Pavlik,” said Enzo. “I have not seen anything from Kelly Pavlik whatsoever that worries me. He’s a good fighter but he’s mechanical, it’s the same thing, same thing, same thing all the time. I can’t get worried about it … he’s never heard of Gary Lockett, never seen him fight, but Lockett knows all about Kelly Pavlik, and he is in for a surprise on June 7. His team opened their mouths and talked the talk, but can they walk the walk?”
Note to Enzo: yes they can “walk the walk.” Enzo has a habit of allowing his mouth to make statements that his fighters can’t back up. Recently one of his fighters, Enzo Maccarinelli, was going to destroy David Haye when they met for the WBA/WBC/WBO cruiserweight title. Meccarinelli was out of there at the 2:04 mark of round 2. Enzo is spot on about one thing in that Pavlik does the same thing all the time. Win. Pretty good “Eye Deer” for success.
Title action
The first weekend of any month usually brings a flurry of ring activity. June is no exception. Fighting underneath Pavlik-Lockett is WBO jr. featherweight champ Daniel Ponce “Fountain of Youth” de Leon (34-1) against Juan Manuel Lopez (21-0). De Leon has defended 8 times including a decision and a KO over Thailand’s Sod Looknongyangtoy. Usually when you read the name “Juan Manuel’ in a title fight you sit up and take notice. This Juan Manuel is a Lopez whose 21-0 record is not as good as it looks. It’s a big step up in class.
At the Mohegan Sun casino in Uncasville, Connecticut, USA, there’s one of the twin bills where the winners will face each other next out.
Boxing fans will remember Vernon Forrest (40-2) when he upset Shane Mosley to become the next “super champ.” Unfortunately he ran into the “Wild Man” Ricardo Mayorga and lost two on the trot. Now Forest defends his WBC jr. middle title against Sergio Mora (20-0-1).
Mora, “The Latin Snake”, won the first contender series and will need to exploit his youth for a win. The winner of this one gets the winner of the WBO welter title match between Carlos Quintana (25-1) and Paul Williams (33-1). Williams was 33-0 when he got ambushed by Quintana in February, losing a UD. Big turn around needed for Williams or it’s his second loss.
Jeeves Thai Time…
“Your Lordship, WBA #1 super-bantam Poonsawat Kratingdaenggym (34-1, 24 KOs) may be as good as there is in boxing. Those that have a different view will point out the fact that he fights at home and usually against boxers that are not quality. A week last Friday he KO’d Indonesian, Ivan Bonne in 2. Bonne had no recorded professional fights. Point taken and made.
“Ratanapol Sor Vorapin at 55-6-1 was the IBF mini-fly champion from 1992 to 1997 going an impressive 20-0. When he stepped up one weight class he had trouble though, falling short in two title chances. He’s still at it collecting those pay days. The latest was a two-round KO of Juharum Silaban whose record now stands at 7-11. A 7-11 record would be fine if he owned a string of corner stores but for a professional boxer it’s not too good.
“Flyweight Wandee Singwancha is 56-8-1 with 12 KO’s, which is a cracking record in anyone’s journal. Yet he’s never been a world champion and held only an “interim “ title briefly. When he went for the WBC “no weight” crown in 2000 he lost to Jose Antonio Aquirre (115-113, 116-112, 114-114). The draw judge was Marty Sammon so the argument can be made that it was a draw. Singwancha is still at it, stopping Roland Batuni (5-5) in 4.
“Super-bantam Sod Looknongyangtoy (37-2) has come up short in two world title chances. On both occasions he faced Daniel Ponce de Leon, losing a decision the first time then getting KO’d in 1 the second time. He recently stopped Roger Monserto (0-6) on the same card as the above fights.
“Flyweight Panomroonglek Kratingdaenggym (22-0) warmed up for his upcoming title challenge against Daisuke Naito by stopping John Cut Siregar in 4. Siregar is 0-6. Maybe not a warm up even. Meanwhile former super-bantam champ Yodsanan Sor Nanthachai (55-3-1) destroyed Filipino Kid Orais (9-16) in 2.
“Next Thursday there’s a big fight card on Channel 7 according to your Lordship’s pal Mr. Songchai jr. At least that’s what the local press releases imply.
“And finally your Lordship, as you can see, I’ve laid out a sumptuous repast of chilled beverages, the finest of smoking materials and a goodly collection of the newest DVD’s. I wish to make amends for my disgraceful behavior last week.”
“About time you came to your senses Jeeves.”
“Yes I wrote that Chonlatarn Or Piriyaponyo’s win over Jaime Barcelona at 31-18 wasn’t much to celebrate. Your pal Mr. Songchai jr. set me straight. He wrote, ‘but look again that Jaime Barcelona is underrated. He is one good boxer.’ Guess he’s just unlucky to be 4-11 in his last 15. Oh yes, and Mr. Stu e-mailed pointing out that your name is on my pay check.”
“Life is good Jeeves.”

Mark and Bubbles share the Monthly Medals

IPGC golf from The Haven

Monday, May 26, Green Valley - Stableford
1st Phil Groves 37pts
2nd Terry Hodgekiss 35pts
3rd Barry Traynor 35pts
4th Mike Dabanovich 35pts
5th Rodney Nabbe 33pts
6th Darrell Paull 33pts
Phil Groves played one of his better rounds to easily take the top spot two ahead of Terry Hodgekiss, who was hoping for a win prior to his impending move back to the wild west of Gosnells, but had to be content with second after a weak front nine.
Barry Traynor was pushed into third place after he just missed out on the count back, but was good enough to in turn stay ahead of Mike Dabanovich who finished slowly after a quick fire start.
Rodney Nabbe just got the better of Darrell Paull over the last six in their count back.
There were no 2’s in the second division but Russell Exley, Rodney Nabbe had one each and Barry Traynor had two of them in the first division.
Before presenting the prizes The Doc welcomed new member Harry Kelly and also welcomed back Rodney Nabbe, Brian Beaupre, Rick Schramm, Markku Tynell, Mark Cooper, Stephen Lewis and Kelvin Crouch.
Wednesday, May 28, Bangpra - Stableford
1st Trevor Schirmer 38
2nd Brian Beaupre 37
3rd Norman Isherwood 36
4th Peter Sumner 35
Trevor Schirmer played a very steady round over the very in and out patchy conditions of the usually immaculate Bangpra to claim a win that will ensure that his handicap goes down just prior to the important International Pattaya Match Play League game against The OK Corral, and as the matches are played full difference as laid down by the handicap system, this means he will have to give 13 shots in his match.
Norman Isherwood was desperately trying to glean some much needed cash prior to his upcoming trip to the Black Country and was well pleased to get on to the gravy train with his third place in front of the in-form Peter Sumner who is gearing up for his first outing in the match play team.
Barry Traynor, Peter Sumner, Russell Exley and Brian Beaupre shared the 2’s in the first division whilst Stephen Lewis slotted the only one in the second division to sweep the pool including the roll over.
Back at The Haven The Doc welcomed back Philip Cass and Keith Boothroyd and also gave farewells to Terry Hodgekiss and Darrell Paull.
Friday, May 28, Phoenix (Blue Tees) - Monthly Medals
Division 1
1st Mark Cooper net 73
2nd Phil Groves net 73
3rd Peter Sumner net 73
Division 2
1st Bubbles Davies net 70
2nd Stephen Lewis net 76
3rd Dave MacDonald net 76
Having spent several hours lulling the competition into a false sense of security, imbibing long and deep into the night at the local wineries, Mark Cooper came out of the gate slowly and as the rest of the contenders for the month’s top honour slipped backwards, he went into top gear closing with an excellent three and a half strokes under the CSS of 74 to easily take the count back in the first division from Phil Groves.
Phil is always in contention for the monthly medal and with one already in the bag this season was unlucky to find Mark in such good form. But he was still just good enough to edge out Peter Sumner by a couple on the back nine, for second spot.
The second division was a much more one-player affair, as local hospital visitor and erstwhile sofa sorter, Bubbles Davies, took time off from his duties, to record his first medal win and ensure his attendance at the Gold and Silver competitions to be held in December. Bubbles’ win by six strokes was the lowest score recorded so far this season in the second division and owed much to his long hitting, even some of the time to the correct fairway.
Stephen Lewis added to his week’s successes with second place ahead of Dave MacDonald, who could have surely done better with a slightly better inward half.
For the second time running Stephen Lewis slipped in the only ‘2’ in the second division whilst Peter Sumner, Phil Groves and Rodney Nabbe shared the first division pot.
Prior to the prize giving The Doc welcomed new member Dave Clamp and also welcomed back Dave MacDonald, Malcolm Clare, Derek Reaper and Mark Campbell, and a special second attempt at TaTa to Norman Isherwood.

Kazu bows out in style

IPGC Pattaya Golf Society at the OK Corral

Sunday, May 25, the Pattaya Golf Society visited Eastern Star golf club to play a stableford competition, temporary greens and all, where a large field turned out on a fine hot day.
The attraction may have been the triple rolled over 2’s pot but for the regulars it was good to welcome a few old friends again as Rick Schramm, Brian Beaupre and Bruce Ogilvie joined the ranks.
Brian Beaupre indeed fired the day’s best gross of 80 to share fourth place with Gilles Akoum, both posting scores of 34 points. Paul Quodomine took third place with a splendid back nine performance helping him to a level-par 36 points.
Ya Riley played her first round for a while and found she had lost none of her touch as she recorded 37 points for runner-up place but the day belonged to Kazu Agune, ending his current stay with another personal best, this time recording 39 points. In his month long visit he has come down three shots in the handicap lists and is currently by far the most improved player with the group. Hopefully he will not lose too much enthusiasm before his next return in a month’s time.
The 2’s pot was shared by David Thomas and Ya Riley for their accuracy on the sixth hole and the rest of the field were treated back at the OK Corral with the ringing of the bell. The Booby Bevy went to Michael Sim for the day’s low score.
The society is now switching between ESR and The Emerald for its Sunday golf until the greens have been repaired, beginning at The Emerald on June 1.
Brett unshackled at Crystal Bay
Tuesday, May 27, an empty Crystal Bay hosted the Pattaya Golf Society for a stableford round over the B & C nines, the latter greens still showing signs of the deep coring more than two months ago. The day was fine and the small low season group was to witness some fine golf.
Takeshi Hakozaki and an un-named Ban Chang resident tied for third place with 34 points whilst Chris Voller put aside his eight putts on the first two holes to record a fine second placed score of 35 points. After that came the spectacle.
Paul Brett is an awesome sight on the golf course. The gentle giant plays left-handed with a right-handed grip and has a limited swing length but his immense strength helps to generate a lot of power. Such was the case on this day when he threw off the shackles of convention to post his best ever score, giving him 42 points for the win. His putting got him out of jail more than once and fourteen points on the par threes indicated a delicate touch for such a large man. His birdie ‘2’ on C7 took the pot and all things considered it had to be his best day on the course.
The Booby Bevy went to an embarrassed David Thomas who managed to sink a brand new Pro V1 without ever hitting it, the ball being propelled off the tee by a large sod. “Appropriate” many people said! Good fun at Crystal Bay but the course still needs some remedial repair work to bring it back to its best.
Peanut brittle anyone?
Thursday, May 29, the Pattaya Golf Society played a stableford competition at The Emerald on a course which was in the process of having the greens aerated and heavily sanded. Naturally there was no warning of this for fear of withdrawals and the large field suffered greatly under the almost intolerable conditions. For the single-figure handicappers in the field almost half of their total shots were on greens like peanut brittle at best or egg boxes at worst.
It was amazing that David Thomas was able to post a score of 38 points to share the victory with Mam Morel. But even David recorded thirty-five putts during his best gross round of 76 shots. Chris Voller and Mikael Andersson also came good, returning scores of 35 points for a share of the minor spoils.
Chris Hardy recorded the day’s only birdie ‘2’ on the thirteenth hole to take the pot and Ron Bardel celebrated his birthday a day early with a long overdue Booby Bevy for his 5-14 points split.
The Emerald was certainly not the gem it usually is on this occasion.

Brian Kelly edges ‘nameless guy’ on count back

IPGC golf from Donovan’s

Monday, May 26, The Emerald (White Tees) - Stableford
1st Brian Kelly (17) 31pts
2’s: Bruce Milner
Thank goodness for the better inward distribution of Brian Kelly’s scorecard. That provided him a count back victory over ‘He That Shall Remain Nameless’, and thereby abruptly prevented a four-day sweep by the ol’ boy. That in itself was good for the ‘title guy’ role.
Tuesday, May 27, Laem Chabang A & C
(Blue or White tees) - Stableford
Blue Flight
1st Steve Mascari (2) 38pts
White Flight
1st Brian Wilkinson (12) 38pts
2’s: Dave Porter (blue), Brian Wilkinson (white), Kevin Hamilton (white)
‘He That Shall Remain Nameless’ shot 38 points/gross 70 on the treacherous A/C combo of Jack Nicklaus’ local creation. Wireless won the shorter flight with his own 38 points. Dave Porter deserves recognition for his “2 from the Blue”. (That double entendre covers both the tee box and the chance of repeat.)
Thursday, May 29, Green Valley (White Tees) - Stableford
1st Steve Mascari (2) 37pts
2nd Pierre Beitry (13) 34pts
2’s: Ray Dell, Brian Holden
Monsieur Pierre needed a count back to edge The Mechanic for second place on the day (to He That Shall Remain Nameless) as both players responded to lowered handicaps with fine efforts. As noted above, Pierre is off 13 and The Venerable Mechanic is off 16. HTSRN “blew up” to a gross 71 on the weekday set-up of Green Valley.
Saturday, May 31, Green Valley (White Tees) - Stableford
1st Steve Mascari (2) 40pts
2nd Marc Napier (11) 39pts
3rd Pierre Beitry (13) 38pts
4th Mike Craighead (16) 38pts
Ladies Flight
1st Yui Duangkaew (20) 31pts
2’s: Steve Mascari, Mike Craighead, Klaus Schackt, Dave Stockman, Ray Dell
Yada, Yada, HTSRN shot gross 68 for first. Now on to the real news: Visiting Marc Napier, fresh from Iraq, had 39 points on the day to better Tuesday’s count back twins, Monsieur Pierre and The Mechanic. And as occurred on Tuesday, the Swiss had the better of the mathematics. No surprise there. Yui topped out the gals as half the female field NR’d.

League of Legends Part 3 - (Opening Night)

The 8 darts legends line up before the start of the tournament: (L-R) John Lowe, Eric Bristow, Keith Deller, Bobby George, Peter Evison, Bob Anderson, Dave Whitcombe and Cliff Lazarenko. (Photo betfred.com)

by Howie Reed
“Oh what a night” was a hit song in the 1960’s recorded by both The Dells and the Four Seasons. It could have been the theme song for the first night of the League of Legends last Friday night at the Purflets Circus Tavern. Some old timers may have been willing to sing along. Though not all was “strawberry’s and cream” when the 8 legends of darts toed the oche.’
North American fans found out that Setanta TV, neither cable nor broadband, was covering the event. Why? A spokesperson, one must always be politically correct, for Setanta explained that lack of TV coverage was “Unfortunately, due to scheduling issues.” Those familiar with Thai culture will recognize that statement as same-same as “Have to go home, Poppa’s water buffalo die. You can buy new?” Next coverage in North American will be June 27 when the league plays the Hilton Hotel in Birmingham.
In front of an appreciative crowd and championship atmosphere, Keith Deller and Cliff Lazeranko led off the night. “Cliff and I drew the short straw because nobody wanted to go on first,” said Deller.

Eric Bristow “The Crafty Cockney” celebrates his win over Bobby George. (Photo betfred.com)
The match went pretty much to form as Deller was the 4-12 favorite to win the race to 7 legs. He did. Deller, the 1983 World Champ, started with a 65 checkout and appeared on his way to an easy win when Lazeranko tied it at 2. Deller answered the challenge, running off three legs on the trot. At 5-2 Lazeranko made a valiant effort, edging closer to 6-5 with the chance for a draw and escape with at least 1 point. The 12th leg had “Big Cliff” toss the only 180 of the match but he missed tops for the leg and a draw. Deller missed tops but hit double 10 for the “W.”
Deller, who at one time had a reputation as somewhat of a “whiner,” was gracious in winning. “That was the hardest match I will play because Cliff is my best mate,” he said. “I was very nervous and I missed six or seven chances to get a 180. I’ve got the win and now I’m into the tournament.”
It was written that a 6-6 draw is “like kissing your sister.” Pre-tournament favorite Bob Anderson would probably have kissed anyone’s sister as he had to battle back from 4-1 and 5-2 down to earn a 6-6 draw against the “Fen Tiger” Peter Evison. At 6-4 down Anderson managed to make 68 disappear with 3 for 6-5. He then took the final leg with double 8 which means that probably a couple of other doubles were missed along the way by both players. That’s just a guess.
“When I got to six legs I thought I had done my job but I hadn’t - I should have buried him. I let him off,” said Evison. “Hopefully I will see Bob in the final and if I do I won’t let him off next time.”
This early no one gets hurt too bad by a 1-point draw. The top four make it into the semi finals on week 8.
There were two surprises on opening night. The first had to be the ease with which Dave Whitcombe laid a whipping on John Lowe. The betfred.com webmaster headlined it “Whitcombe on a high against Lowe.” Whitcombe won it 7-3 to score 2 points to tie for the lead in the results table. For his part Lowe said, “I was playing really well in the practice room but it was totally different when I got on stage. But I’ll get over it - it’s only one setback.”
How many bar players are world champions in their front room at home? Most all.
“I actually thought it was quite an even game,” said the always-gracious Whitcombe. “The difference was that I finished better than John. We were evenly matched but when we got down to the doubles I went out.”
Golfers say, “You drive for show and putt for dough.” In darts it’s “score for show and double for dough.” So says The Coach.
The highlight of the evening was the rematch between Eric Bristow and Bobby George, which provided the night’s second big surprise. George was second choice to win the tournament and Bristow pretty much discounted. Always a mistake to under estimate Eric Bristow.
The most famous match between the two was the 1980 World Championships at Jollies won by Bristow. That aside this was 2008 and Bristow, “The Crafty Cockney”, was pretty much ignored by the co-sponsors of the event betfred.com. The Coach wrote last week, “A win will make the odds makers look foolish as they have him at 16-1.” All punters love a “foolish looking odds maker.”
“If I can take him out in that first game it will shut everyone up!” were Bristow’s pre match words. Well take George out he did by the score of 7-5.
For Bristow it wasn’t a stroll in the park as “Mr. Glitter” didn’t give up without a fight. Bristow used everyone’s favorite the “old double 15”, which was left after a missed bull, to go up 6-4 in legs. At that score George missed the bull and a 161 finish but still got new life on his next throws for 6-5. In the final leg at 32, Bristow took it out like all bar players do the world over with a single 16 and double 8. “Game, Set and Match and drive home safely.”
“But I’ve won my first game and now I can go home, practice like anything and I’ll beat the lot of them!” proclaimed Bristow afterwards. He probably echoed the feeling of all 8 players by saying, “I enjoyed seeing people in the same seats as they were 15 years ago. There were people supporting me and John Lowe and some of them are happy and some of them are not. I’m bubbling now because I’ve got two points on the board - I’m going to go on and win this thing now!”
For the 8 players it was again the opportunity to be on stage in the spotlight in a competitive setting. Even though the darts may not have been the greatest it was an entertaining evening with old friends and fresh pints. It was a bit of nostalgia for players and fans alike. It was a trip back to the past which may be an insight to a bright future for those that made the game what it is today.
Darts is more than 180’s and 11 dart games. It’s about a pub, a pint, competition and fans. For all this last Friday night at the Circus Tavern was a 9-darter. “Oh what a night”