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Money matters:
Graham Macdonald
MBMG International Ltd.
Nominated for the Lorenzo Natali Prize
How important is it to send
your child to a good skool?
All parents know that raising a child is not cheap. However,
in a recent report, it is now apparent that UK parents are paying up to the
amazing annual sum of ฃ22,000 in nursery fees alone, and it does not stop there;
a good public school in the UK is now more than ฃ30,000 per annum.
In addition to this, a report carried out by the UK
Government who paid the Economic and Social Research Council to do a study on
hundreds of children who started their secondary education in the 1980’s were
closely monitored. The Council came back with astounding results:
* Those who went through privileged education system were
FOUR times more likely to earn more than ฃ90,000 a year in their thirties than
those who attended ‘new’ universities (ex-polytechnics), most of whom were paid
less than ฃ30,000 per annum.
* From those who were classified as the top earners, over 85%
had gone to private schools, whilst 61% of those being paid less than ฃ30,000
had gone to state schools.
As a parent it is a natural instinct to want the very best
for your children. Apart from the love and parental guidance that you will
provide throughout their lives, the benefit of a top education is one of the
greatest gifts you can give.
You will watch your child grow from a newborn to a toddler,
then from pre-teen to a young adult, but at what point do you consider planning
for your child’s future? Every day passes so slowly but the years pass so
quickly. When it comes to investing for your child’s future, even if you
currently don’t have children, but plan to in the future, there is no better
time to start than now. As with all investments it pays to start as soon as
possible.
It is never too late to start a commitment for your child’s
education, whether they are pre- born or 15 years old. By sacrificing today you
can make for a bright future tomorrow, which you and your child can enjoy for
many years. If you are an international worker, you will understand the value of
education, not just as a monitory value but also that priceless key to opening
doors to opportunities of a better life.
With the cost of education constantly rising, it has become
increasingly difficult to calculate the amount you would require to help your
child become a successful professional.
On average, graduates with a bachelor’s degree earn 60% to
65% more each year than high school graduates (re - the College Board), so
clearly one of the best investments you can ever make for your children and
potential children is an investment in their education future. Even if only to
ensure they look after you in your dotage!
International schools in Thailand offer fantastic education
for our children with 21st century facilities and
standards for the 21st century children. However, we
should look at the breakdown in cost. We took the average from 15 international
schools throughout Bangkok; the costs will are not cheap and may astound you:
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Nursery schools £5,616
K1 - K2 £6,255 (2 years total -£12,510)
Year 1-5 £7,932 (5 years total -£39,660)
Year 6-8 £8,916 (3 years total -£26,748)
Year 9-12 £9,600 (3 years total -£28,400)
Year 13 £9,600
TOTAL
£122,534 |
As you can see the figures make planning for education a
must. But this is not the complete figure. You can add on another ฃ5,000 -
ฃ50,000 to complete university, then remember the figures show the school fees
only, you also have to factor into your planning travel costs, books and
stationary costs, uniforms, lunch costs, excursions and school trips, after
school costs and if chosen, boarding school costs. There is also a
non-refundable registration fee usually around the ฃ2,500 mark. At university,
you also have to factor in the cost of living.
It is impossible to give you a totally accurate figure as
each international school has different costs, but as a general rule of thumb,
it can be seen that the better the school performance is then the more expensive
it gets. Also, it does depend where in the world you educate your children but a
target figure of ฃ350,000 should be okay if you have a child in education now.
This is based on nursery, school, university and post-graduate costs. What you
have to factor in is rising future costs of 5% annually. In the next ten years
the cost of a child’s education will top ฃ500,000.
Another alternative is if your child is domiciled in the UK,
he/she could then attend a university in the UK, the cost here is very difficult
to affirm as you may have access to government grants. On average the tuition
fees are ฃ3,290 for non-laboratory studies and ฃ4,080 for laboratory studies per
annum. Then you have the additional living costs and social costs in the UK. On
average this amounts to an additional ฃ6,000 per annum but is obviously more in
places like London. Remember that if your child is intelligent enough to be a
doctor or a lawyer then it will take six years to qualify. As you can see these
figures quickly add up.
If your child is non-domiciled in the UK and you want them to
be educated in the UK as an international student then on average the annual
tuition fee alone for non - laboratory studies is ฃ10,525 per annum and for
laboratory studies it is ฃ13,765 per annum, before living costs and social
costs.
In the UK, fees at leading private schools have topped
ฃ30,000 per year for day pupils and an extra ฃ7,500 per annum for boarding
pupils. In the US the figures are very similar as seen on the chart above.
Don’t despair and don’t let this stop you having children. On
the contrary, with careful planning the costs can be covered without too much
strain on household’s finances. The key here is PLANNING and a COMMITMENT to the
planning.
Be “ready, willing and able”.
* Ready - Knowledge is power and higher education is almost
becoming a pre-requisite to acquiring a good job. It is the key to opening the
door to a professional career. Consider the cost of private education as a
lifetime investment in your child’s future.
* Willing - If you are living overseas permanently then a
private education may well become a requirement much earlier than may have been
the case if you had remained in your own country. Whilst education is an
investment for your child, it does not come cheap and unless you planned for it,
it could mean either re-mortgaging the family home or borrowing from the bank to
pay for fees or depleting your savings and retirement accounts.
* Able - Assuming that you start to save as soon as your
child is born (or, even better still, before), we estimate that educating your
child could well cost ฃ350,000 and the fees will rise by 5%- 6% per annum.
You can plan for this by doing either a lump sum investment
option or a regular saving option but please remember to decide beforehand how
much you can afford. Have a meeting with a qualified financial advisor who will
assist you and provide their recommendation. Ensure:
* Real growth potential - a choice of a wide range of
investment options with options to invest in all the asset classes.
* Easy access - the ability to choose when to take the
benefits you have accumulated, for example making two/three withdrawals each
year to cover school fees.
* Premium flexibility - reduce or increase your premiums,
take a premium holiday or add lump sums without incurring any penalties.
* Investment adaptability - to be able to switch investment
funds to reflect the changes in your lifestyle at little or no cost.
* A product that is transportable - wherever you choose to
live and work, you can continue the investment plan.
* Tax efficiency - investment funds that grow free of tax or
are tax efficient.
Another important part of the planning process which is often
forgotten and is vital to achieving what you have planned is protecting
yourself. The success of the plan is you as, without you, the plan cannot
succeed. Sometimes the unfortunate can happen, people do get critical illnesses,
people do have accidents and people do die. Ensure that you are protected for
all such events so if the unfortunate did happen, a lump sum or a regular amount
will be available to you or your beneficiaries to continue the plan and ensure
your child gets the education they deserve and you can sleep peacefully knowing
every base is covered.
A child is the greatest gift bestowed on any individual.
Besides the endless love and care you give, ensure that a top quality education
is on your priority list. They will thank you forever.
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The above data and research was compiled from sources
believed to be reliable. However, neither MBMG International Ltd nor its
officers can accept any liability for any errors or omissions in the above
article nor bear any responsibility for any losses achieved as a result of any
actions taken or not taken as a consequence of reading the above article. For
more information please contact Graham Macdonald on [email protected]
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Snap Shots: by Harry Flashman
Medium Format - is it the holy grail?
 As
a pro photographer it was almost mandatory that you have a medium format
camera. There was no getting away from the fact that to show an art
director a 6 cm x 6 cm transparency on the light box was much more
impressive than squinting at a 35 mm slide. Mind you, when you dropped a
5 inch x 4 inch transparency down beside them, it looked more impressive
again.
So if bigger is better, or size matters or suchlike,
why did we not use 5x4 all the time? Size of the camera and ease of use
covers all that. While I have taken a 5x4 on location, it practically
required a team of native porters to carry it, the film holders and
light-proof bags and the tripod and compendium. No, 5x4 is wonderful in
the studio and impractical in the wild (unless your name is Ansel Adams
and you are prepared to wait days to get the clouds in the right place).
Having decided that medium format was going to be
needed and that it was much more practical than 5x4, it was necessary to
see what was on the market and how did I find them in use. Fortunately,
since there was quite a nest of photographers in my local area it was
possible for me to try out various models before taking the plunge
myself.
The first was the Pentax 6x7. I was initially
attracted to the fact that it was like a larger 35 mm camera. A full
range of lenses were available from fish-eye to 1000 mm telephoto. I was
sure it was going to be ‘my’ camera - till I used it! The sheer physical
size of the thing made it unwieldy. 184 mm wide, 149 mm high and 156 mm
deep (and that is the body only). And what did it weigh? A whopping 2.4
kg, that’s what. Then there was the delay between depressing the shutter
and the horrible ‘thunk’ inside as it all happened, the shutter
shuddered and the mirror clanked on its way out of the way! No, it
wasn’t a Pentax 6x7.
I then tried the Mamiya RB 67 Pro-S. This is not like
a 35 mm camera, but rather like a large box with a film holder on the
back and a viewing screen on the top. Difficult to get used to
initially, but it certainly took sharp photos, but the interlocks
eventually wore me down. To take verticals or horizontals with this 6x7
camera you had to flick levers and turn backing plates - it was all too
fiddly, though there are pro photographers out there who swear by their
Mamiyas.
However, the medium format camera that everyone spoke
about in hushed tones were the Hasselblads. These had the largest system
with four cameras, over 20 lenses and interchangeable backs, including
Polaroid. You can practically photograph anything with a Hasselblad, and
even though it is medium format (which they did on the moon), and even
the motor-driven ones are not as heavy as the Pentax. While there is a
waist level view finder, most photographers opt for the metering prism
viewfinder which was so accurate you could almost dispense with light
meters. It really was the case of a quick adjustment, trial with
Polaroid, and if it was OK, blast away.
I have to admit I loved my ‘Blads’, but as the years
rolled on and 35 mm film became even sharper, the need for medium format
became less. Even the art directors began to see that unless you wanted
to blow the image up to the size of the side of a house, 35 mm was quite
satisfactory.
But there was still a great satisfaction to be had
from using the 6x6 camera and looking at the gorgeous transparencies.
Unfortunately, except for some very specific reasons, medium format has
been superceded and now with the digital revolution will soon be museum
pieces. However, if you ever do see a medium format camera going for
sensible money, do buy it. You will get a satisfaction from your
photography that is hard to beat, especially compared to today’s
auto-everything electronic marvels.
Modern Medicine:
by Dr. Iain Corness, Consultant
Rhinoplasty - a most common
cosmetic procedure
How you look is most important these days. Especially for
women. Show me a young (or old) woman who can walk past a mirror without
having a peek. Cosmetic surgery is even thought by many to be the answer for
personal problems.
There are many cosmetic surgical procedures available
these days, and in fact, rhinoplasty (nasal remodeling) is one of the
commonest cosmetic surgery procedures carried out in Thailand, since Thai
ladies all seem to want the foreign larger style nose. For example, when our
daughter was born, my wife said she was worried about the size of baby’s
nose - it wasn’t big enough!
Rhinoplasty can reduce or increase the size of your nose,
change the shape of the tip or the bridge, narrow the span of the nostrils,
or change the angle between your nose and your upper lip. It may also
correct a birth defect or injury, or help relieve some breathing problems.
One of the biggest problems facing cosmetic surgeons is
not the surgical techniques, but the patient with unreal expectations of
what the procedure is going to do for them. The person with a poor
self-image may decide that the reason they are not the most popular person
in the group is because of the shape of their nose. Unfortunately for this
group of people, nasal remodeling will not change their personality, they
will still not be the most popular person, and the rhinoplasty will have
“failed”.
The best candidates for rhinoplasty are people who are
looking for improvement, not perfection, in the way they look. If you’re
physically healthy, psychologically stable, and realistic in your
expectations, you may be a good candidate.
Age is also an important consideration. Young teenagers,
a group that is very aware if their appearance, may not be ideal candidates
for rhinoplasty, or most cosmetic surgery for that matter. There are growth
spurts which change the features, and psychologically teenagers are not
really mature enough to make decisions which will affect their appearance
for the rest of their lives.
One other factor that must always be taken into
consideration, when contemplating cosmetic surgery, is that in medicine
there are no 100 percent guarantees. All surgery and anesthesia carry risks.
In the situation of rhinoplasty, that risk is very low, but there is still
that little uncertainty, that nobody can deny. There is always a possibility
of complications, including infection, nosebleed, or a reaction to the
anesthesic. After surgery, small burst blood vessels may appear as tiny red
spots on the skin’s surface; these are usually minor but may be permanent.
As for scarring, when rhinoplasty is performed from inside the nose, there
is no visible scarring at all; but when an ‘open’ technique is used, or when
the procedure calls for the narrowing of flared nostrils, the small scars on
the base of the nose are usually not visible, but again, no guarantees.
In about 10 percent of cases, a second procedure may even
be required to correct a minor deformity. Again, such cases are
unpredictable and happen irrespective of the skill of your surgeon. Living,
breathing human beings are all different, never forget that.
So let us assume that you have understood all the
pitfalls, have a realistic attitude, and still want that nose remodeled. The
next step is to indicate to the surgeon just what you are aiming for. This
is when you bring in your 100 photos of Tata Young! But once again, it is
not all that simple. The surgeon has to look at what you currently have and
see if your bone structure can support the nose of your choice.
Remember, too, that the vast majority of cosmetic
procedures are not covered by the usual health insurance policies. Another
point to remember is that after the operation you will have a swollen,
bruised face, which takes a few days to settle. Take some holidays to allow
this to fade.
Finally, be sure that your surgeon really is a Board
Certified Cosmetic Surgeon. All doctors have skills in basic surgery, but
rhinoplasty is not basic. This is surgery that changes the way the world
sees you. Pick the best!
Heart to Heart with Hillary
Dear Hillary,
Every day I go for a walk at the shopping center and most
days I see a very pretty young woman drinking coffee in the coffee shop.
Sometimes she is talking to a man, but other times she is just sitting on the
coffee. I get a smile from her and I say “Hello” while I pass by. Do you think
she is a ‘professional’ girl (you know what I mean)? And what should I do next?
I really like her and would like to get to know her a bit more.
Monty
Dear Monty,
Sounds to me like you’re not the full Monty, Monty. Do I
think she is a professional girl? Think, Monty, think! Why is a good looking
girl sitting in a coffee shop every day, sipping on a cold coffee? She is there
to find a man, or men, that’s why. She certainly isn’t making her money as a
legal secretary, is she? So how else could she be making money? The coffee shop
is paying her to sit there? I don’t think so. Monty, how old are you? Fifteen?
Come on, boy, the object of your desires will eat you up and spit you out bone
dry. What should you do next? Go to a different shopping center, that’s what!
Dear Hillary
My girlfriend seems to work in a totally different time clock
to me. She can go up the road to the market and come back two hours later as if
she’d just been away for five minutes. She takes the maid with her so I know
she’s not up to something. How can I get her to understand I get worried that
something has happened to her?
Rolex
Dear Rolex,
Thai people do not have the pressing need to watch the
clock the way foreigners do. You should explain to her that you are not checking
up on her as this is certainly not good for any relationship, but that you are
just worried for her safety, which is something Thai people do understand and
appreciate. You should also make sure she takes a mobile phone with her. Buy her
one if she hasn’t got one already. They are cheap enough these days and will
save you hours of agonizing.
Dear Hillary,
I met my wife in a bar in Bangkok 7 yrs ago. She was then 41
and thinking of working bar. She had accompanied a friend and I met her on what
would have been her first day of work. She spoke no English.
After meeting her family, I know they told her not to believe
I would return. But I did just as I said. Our relationship took the age old
path, I returned to the U.S. and stayed in touch. A few more visits, and we did
the visa thing. One week after she arrived in the U.S. we married. We married in
Thailand first, ceremonially to make the date special for her and family. My
friend who owned the place where she would have worked held the wedding party.
Now after 7 yrs in the U.S. we are in route to Thailand for
good. I was able to bring her home in times of family crisis every year. She now
speaks passable English, has had extensive dental work, and her family of Moma,
Pappa, and five sisters have never made any request for money. Though I know
Thai culture, I sent some every few months. I loved the wisdom of her father. He
said “She can go, but only if you take her, if it doesn’t work you bring her
back to me.”
My Mom is 97, she is the only person who could get Mom to
eat. She cooked Thai food for the 2 weeks we were there and taught my sister how
to make the dishes Mom likes.
I have since retired and we are now on our way to Thailand
for good, presently stuck in Narita waiting for a flight to Bangkok. We think
we’ll settle in Pattaya where my friends are, but that is subject to change
since I am 61 and don’t need the bar life anymore.
With the Thai community where we lived I made sure she had
access to a temple and celebrated Thai holidays just as she would have here. She
never asked for anything, jewelry, clothes, or any of the trendy stuff women
love. For that reason I never denied her anything, she was happy being able to
eat whatever she wanted. Although she wanted to work, it would have been more
difficult than it was worth, besides I had a comfortable salary. Since there was
no family where we lived in the U.S. it has only been the two of us, the only
time apart was when I was at work.
I could go on and on but I think this tells the story.
Les and Lawan
Dear Les (and Lawan),
It does tell the story, and a lovely one at that. Sorry I
had to shorten it a little. One reason that the relationship has worked is
because you have been mindful of her needs, and not just your own. She in turn
has looked after your needs. Open and honest relationships have the highest
chances of success. Congratulations to you both.
Let’s go to the movies:
by Mark Gernpy
The Ghost Writer: I went out on a limb last week
listing this as “scheduled.” I should know better, given how much I’ve
been burned lately predicting what would open, but I thought this one
was fairly well assured. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, as I want
to see it so badly. From all I read it has Polanski returning to the top
of his form, like on the level of “Rosemary’s Baby”, and “Chinatown”.
And this despite the fact that he did the editing from a Swiss jail.
Maybe we’ll still get it. If it comes, see it!
Now playing
in Pattaya
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time:
US, Action/ Adventure/ Fantasy/ Romance – The film is based on a video
game, which I’ve played and enjoyed – even though I’m not very good at
it. It’s a profoundly silly story, in the vein of the old “Thief of
Baghdad” sort, set in medieval Persia when a nefarious nobleman covets
the Sands of Time, a legendary dagger that allows its possessor to turn
back time. All the silliness is okay, and beautifully done, and with
delightful performances, but ruined for me by the editing of the action
sequences, of which there are of course a lot. They’re all rapid-fire
sequences devoid of any narrative structure, giving only impressions of
battle, with no idea of who is doing what to whom. I’m fed up with them
– these sorts of sequences have made a number of half-way decent movies
unwatchable. Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley.
Mixed or average reviews.
Sex and the City 2: US, Comedy/ Drama/ Romance –
This was scheduled, and did show up; perhaps you will be pleased.
Most critics aren’t, and have given it scathingly unfavorable reviews.
It’s a hugely successful series in some circles, so maybe you are among
the fans. The girls this time take on the United Arab Emirates, though
it’s actually shot in Morocco. Rated R in the US for some strong sexual
content and language; 15+ in Thailand.
The Losers: US, Action/ Crime/ Mystery/ Thriller –
Delicious and delightful action film, full of fun. However, it’s an
action film, so if you’re not fond of fights and fury, you won’t be
amused. Of its type, it has a much better script than you have any right
to expect, full of laughs, and with a great attitude. It’s a tale of
betrayal and revenge, in which the members of an elite Special Forces
unit are sent to the Bolivian jungle on a search and destroy mission.
The team soon finds that they have become the target of a deadly double
cross. Betrayed and left for dead, the black ops team root out those who
targeted them for assassination. Starring Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Zoe
Saldana (of Avatar fame), and directed by relative newcomer
Sylvain White, definitely a director to watch. I particularly appreciate
the clear and understandable action sequences, where you can actually
follow what’s happening – and only semi-rapid editing. Very
violent, so be warned. Only mixed or average reviews. Not at Big C.
The Bounty Hunter: US, Action/ Comedy – Gerard
Butler plays a down-on-his-luck bounty hunter who gets his dream job
when he is assigned to track down his bail-jumping ex-wife (Jennifer
Aniston). Critics say the two leads are as attractive as ever, but the
script doesn’t know what to do with them. Generally unfavorable reviews.
At Pattaya Beach only.
14 Blades / The Brocaded Robe Guards / Gam yee wai:
Hong Kong/ China, Action/ Drama/ Thriller – A kung fu Wuxia thriller set
during the Ming Dynasty in which Donnie Yen plays Green Dragon, an
Imperial guard and Master of the 14 Blades – the best of a specially
trained force of sword-slinging agents trained in clandestine combat
from childhood and who take orders directly from the Emperor. When an
evil Eunuch takes over the Imperial court, Yen’s associates turn against
him while they’re on a secret mission, and Green Dragon then becomes
public enemy number one. Not at Pattaya Beach; Thai-dubbed only.
Poh Tak / Po Taek: Thai, Comedy – Directed by
popular comedian-turned-director, Mum Jokmok, this is a comedy parody
that explores lives in front of and behind the cameras of the Thai film
industry. Features many of the regulars on Mum’s very popular TV show.
Robin Hood: US, Action/ Drama – Robin Hood as
gladiator, brought to life by director Ridley Scott, and starring
Russell Crowe, all grunting and scowling. It does have impressive
visuals and some great sweeping battle scenes, and strong performances.
But it took me a long while to get interested in the main characters
during the back-story, and the 1199 AD events of King Richard on his
last crusade. However, after the story got going, I got involved. It’s
loud, noisy, and confusing in the modern way of showing battles, where
clarity is sacrificed for jittery, jumpy editing, and you are left with
visual impressions, not information. I appreciated much of the craft,
but I didn’t have much fun. Mixed or average reviews. Not at Big C.
Sin Sisters 2 / Poo Ying Ha Bap 2: Thai, Erotic –
Soft porn for Thai males. The highly respected Bangkok Post film
critic Kong Rithdee straight out calls this “one of the worst movies to
be released in our Kingdom in years.” The first Thai film to be awarded
the quite restrictive 20+ rating – only for those over 20, and ID’s are
supposed to be checked. It has, you know, a bit of torture, a bit of
bondage, and the usual violence. Five attractive girls find themselves
trapped in an unfamiliar place where a strange voice tells them that one
of them must sacrifice her life in a diabolical ritual. And to survive,
each of the other girls needs to describe all her sins and sexual
experiences, in detail, to satisfy the devilish voice and presumably the
males in the audience. Not at Major Cineplex. Remember the 20+ rating –
bring your ID.
Shrek Forever After: US, Animation/ Comedy/ Family
– The further adventures of the giant green ogre, Shrek, living in the
land of Far, Far Away. Still a fun movie for the family – at least I was
solidly amused. The story: Now domesticated and bored, Shrek makes a
pact with deal-maker Rumpelstiltskin to get the real ogre feeling once
again, but is duped and sent to a twisted version of Far, Far Away. With
the voices of Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, and Eddie
Murphy. In 3D at Pattaya Beach, 2D and Thai-dubbed only at Big C. Mixed
or average reviews.
Iron Man 2: US, Action/ Adventure/ Sci-Fi/
Thriller – Starring Robert Downey Jr. It isn’t quite the breath of fresh
air that “Iron Man” was, but this sequel comes close, with solid
performances and an action-packed plot. I particularly liked Mickey
Rourke. If you enjoy action movies, it’s for you; it has the requisite
sound, fury, and flash. Mixed or average reviews. Thai-dubbed at Big C,
English at Pattaya Beach.
A Nightmare on Elm Street: US, Fantasy/ Horror/
Thriller – A group of suburban teenagers are being stalked by Freddy
Krueger, a horribly disfigured killer who hunts them in their dreams. As
long as they stay awake, they’re okay. Critics have not been kind to
this remake, saying that it lives up to its title in the worst possible
way. Rated R in the US for strong bloody horror violence, disturbing
images, terror, and language. 18+ in Thailand. Generally unfavorable
reviews. Pattaya Beach only.
Frozen: US, Drama/ Thriller – A typical day on the
slopes turns into a chilling nightmare for three snowboarders, when they
are stranded on the chairlift before their last run. Rated R in the US
for some disturbing images and language; 15+ in Thailand. Mixed or
average reviews. At Pattaya Beach only.
Sam Yan: Thai, Comedy – Usual regurgitation of
tried and true Thai slapstick comedy. A dead passenger on a bus returns
to haunt the driver, and two other tales. Rated 18+ in Thailand. In Thai
only.
Staying happy in Paradise - the Counseling Corner:
The Roots of Violence
Richard L. Fellner
Violence is an ‘unforgettable’ valve. Already as a
toddler, each of us learned that violence can at least provide
short-term benefits - an experience which was stored deeply in the
brain. From then on, whenever we don’t feel understood or not heard in a
conflict, and in any situation that feels threatening, there will be at
least a subconscious thought playing with the possibility of using
psychological or physical violence to gain ground.
Education and maturation of our personality, however,
allow us to learn other means of conflict resolution as well, which is
the reason why very few adults use physical violence. But then there are
also people who find it harder than others to control their emotions.
Their conflicts escalate much more easily: at first, mostly verbal, but
sometimes they can end up in the form of physical attacks or reprisals.
The roots of the propensity to violence are almost
always socially conditioned: the vast majority of perpetrators of
violence grew up in economically poorer and atmospherically difficult
families, often there are feelings of depression, a lack of perspective
or a feeling of ‘not being able to achieve it.’
Unfortunately, the use of force almost always results
in massive problems in partnerships, friends and society. Also, studies
show that due to higher stress loads, the tendency to violence harms
various organs and can make one physically sick. Therefore,
psychological and psychotherapeutic impulse control programs have been
developed which can help affected people to learn regulate their
emotions better and regain their ability to be ‘the boss of one’s body’.
Live the happy life you planned! Richard L.
Fellner heads the Counseling Center Pattaya in Soi Kopai and offers
consultations in English and German languages (after making appointments
at 0854 370 470).
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