Married to a porno junkie

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Dear Hillary,

As my computer was down, I used my husband’s lap top which he had left at home between trips.  I clicked on his ‘favorites’ and was taken aback by the number of porn sites he has been visiting.  Is this something I should worry about?  Or has he tired of me (we have been married for 14 years)?  He has been lusting after all these women dressed in lingerie and stockings, and I don’t even possess a pair of stockings in retaliation.  My girlfriends said to just ignore it, all males like to fantasize and I should do nothing.  I don’t know if they mean that, or have they got designs on my husband?  This does upset me.  What do you think I should do?  I am worrying myself sick over it.

Maree

Dear Maree,

The first piece of advice I have for you is to stop snooping in your husband’s lap top.  You may be married, but everyone, including spouses, is entitled to some privacy.  The second piece of advice I am giving you is to stop discussing your private lives with your girlfriends.  After all, how do you know that some of them haven’t got the lingerie and stockings ready to go?

The reason there is so much porn available, and thousands of sites, is because your husband, and people like him, need some kind of outlet, or respite from the stresses of today’s living.  For most men, it is just a fantasy, as your girlfriends said, but having said all that, if he is spending much of his salary on these sites, which can happen, let me tell you, Petal, then this viewing of porn has become an addiction, which may require some sexual counseling.  Check the credit card entries, this may give you some idea of the perceived problem or otherwise, but be aware any entries from these sites will not state “Porno Pix Pty”.