Just send money – lots of it

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Dear Hillary,

My friends who have been to Pattaya before tell me that you never lose your girl, you only lose your turn. I’m taking out a real stunner right now and she said she would wait for me, but there is money involved if she’s out of the bar and not earning. What do you think is a reasonable monthly amount that she can live on till I come back in three months?

Rick

Dear Rick,

I don’t know which shower you came down in, but you certainly have been hiding under a rock somewhere. Don’t you read my column with all the terrible stories of lads like you who find the “I’m back in the village” actually means “I’m at a new bar and please send the money soon because my brother broke his leg in a motorcycle accident.” If you have already donated to the leg fund, send the money to the arm fund. Please just go back to your home town and never come to Thailand again. Or listen to your friends, who have been listening to me.