Editor;
Re: A test in cultural geography? (PM Hillary Friday, 10 May 2013) – Yes, it is very difficult to live in the US and unfortunately many Thai people in the US are not very helpful. I experienced that first hand. A few weeks ago I backed my car into someone else’s car, God forbid a Mercedes, but no visible damage (a rear bumper). To make a long story short, she took me to a garage that operates by a Thai owner claiming that he is more honest. The guy told me that it will cost at least $600 to fix plus the Thai owner wants me to pay for her rental car while her car is in the shop. So at that point I had it, I just called the police to come see the conditions of both cars. I had him recorded the incident, then called my insurance company. The whole time, the friendly Thai woman was trying to tell me not to work through my insurance company, and this is “for my benefit”. She worried for me that my insurance premium will go up.
I have been married to my (American) husband for 25 years, and yes it is very difficult for Thais or any nationalities to assimilate into a culture that is not their own. We have our own cultures and beliefs that most of the time do not work well with the host cultures. It takes more than love to keep two people from very distinct cultures to stay together. It is hard enough even for people that speak the same language.
I have been in the US 25 years and have not lived near a Thai community until this past few years, and glad of it. I do not find many Thais to be helpful. I am lucky to have met a good man and his parents and siblings have been wonderful to me, but I also made my own luck.
I worked hard to take care of my husband and children and to assimilate into American culture. Dill Pickles said something that is very key to a successful marriage, he said that he and his wife are “best friends”. Yes, you really need that in a marriage. You need to be able to talk, to fight, to depend on each other. I love Thailand and will always come back to visit but I do not want to come back to live anymore. It is true about the saying that you can never go home again. The reason I feel this way may come from the fact that I did not come from a wealthy family or family with high social status. The US gave me the equalizer that I could not find while growing up. People treated me different, now that I can afford to spend money like a fool when I am back in Thailand for a few weeks visit. Actually, it did not make me feel good, it made me feel sad. It takes hard work and determination to make a marriage work. Your friend from the USA.
Nida
