Grapevine – March 6 – March 19, 2020

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Only some oldies

Not every expat now obtaining a one year retirement extension at local immigration is being told to return after three months to check whether or not the 800,000 baht is still shown in your bank book. Apparently, the requirement is being used mainly to check up on new retirees or those without much cash surplus at the application stage. Probably not you.



Corona scare

A farang tourist found lazing semi-naked on a Jomtien beach in the midday blazing sun was asked why he was being so foolish. He replied that he had read on Facebook that very strong heat killed off the dreaded flu virus which everyone is talking about. He is now recovering slowly in hospital suffering from serious sunburn and dehydration. His insurance refused to cover the treatment bill as he was not suffering from a “holiday illness”.

Driving licence keys

If you decide to try and obtain a first driving licence directly at the Banglamung Land Transportation Centre, don’t forget you’ll need a letter from a doctor and proof of address from the immigration bureau amongst the required documentation. Remember too that the Banglamung office will not accept your home-country driving licence unless it is officially endorsed by the appropriate embassy.

British advice

Not sure if Brexit is to blame, but the UK embassy is regularly updating the requirements for its usual services. A Brit swearing the oath before marrying a Thai now needs to provide the names and address of two witnesses living in UK – not anywhere else. Separately, a UK national in Thailand wanting a new or replacement passport must now produce proof of his/her Thai address signed or stamped in the last 12 months. So don’t rely on your house registration book. A letter from immigration is OK.

Taking your leave

Overheard in a pub. A man was searching the social science shelves in a local library and seemed to be getting nowhere. The friendly assistant asked him if she could help. “Well, I’m looking for a book on suicide but you don’t seem to have any,” he explained. “Yes I know,” she answered, “we used to have many but the so-and-soes never bring them back.”



Buying and selling

Just a reminder: foreigners wanting to purchase or get rid of a vehicle in their name must obtain a confirmation of address letter from the immigration bureau which will also need to see the registration document. But the letter does not have a permanent validity and must be presented to the vehicle license authority within 30 days.

Bridge club news

No more arrests sorry! Jomtien Bridge Club – the one which used to meet in the large house more or less opposite Mr Mac’s Apartments on Thappraya Road – has moved. It now meets at Friends, a Norwegian-run bar and restaurant located very close to Jomtien Beach Road. Walking towards the beach, it’s the last soi on your right after passing Hemingways. Mon, Wed, Fri, starts 1 pm, but be there by 12.45.



Elite time scale

A common question about the elite visa is how long it takes to process. The answer is it depends on your nationality, so any time from two weeks to two months. We leave you to work out which passports take longer than others to complete those detailed immigration checks. There are several forms of the elite visa, but the most popular one is the one-off 500,000 baht payment for a five year visa in chunks of three months at a time. Yes you have to do the 90 days check-in or leave the country to get another chunk.



Khatoey shortage

A British tourist says he has found on his recent visit to Walking Street that there are far fewer transvestites trying to chat him up or to feel for his wallet whilst professing undying love. “Two years ago,” he confides, “I was accosted in the darker areas about ten times in a two hours stretch, but this year it was no more than five”. Not sure if the guy is relieved or expects an apology.

Quiz question

What was the last thing seen by the brown dog wearing sunglasses on a dark night? The answer is the car which knocked it down. Of course! Not to worry if you got this one wrong. The questions in the Pattaya pub quiz league tend to be easier. Or that’s what we hear these days.