Well, we learned there’s a lot of sand surrounding the race circuit. They have a lot of camels. The marina has a lot of boats moored there. Everyone has luxury motorcars with upholstery made of petro-dollars. We also learned that no matter how much money that the pimps at the pumps have, it doesn’t make for a good Formula 1 race.
Unlike many others, I did manage to sit it through to the end of the race, but sorry, it was a bore-fest. However, there were some items worth reporting. OK, Vettel (AKA The Finger) (Red Bull) won again, but he did not just “win”, he trounced the opposition. Taking the lead at the first corner, he just ran away and hid, finishing the race 30 seconds ahead of second man Mark Webber (Red Bull). Now, if he would only stop his girlish screams after crossing the finishing line, I could almost get back to liking him again.
And so to the final F1 races for Mark Webber. Mark took pole and then, as usual, stuffed the start and lost the advantage. Immediately after this, his KERS stopped working (as usual) so he was down on power. Conspiracy? Collusion between Helmut Marko and the golden-haired German? Never!
We also learned that Kimi Raikkonen, as well as liking ice creams, likes to get paid. Considered boycotting the final three races because of lack of “Lotus” money in his piggy bank, but did front up in Abu Dhabi (perhaps to keep his side of the contract clean)? However, a first corner accident put him out of the race and he was on his way to the airport before the first round of pit stops. What happened? According to Kimi, “I went to the inside and then somehow managed to touch with a Caterham.” I ask you, this is an ex-world champion explaining, that “somehow” he managed to touch a Caterham. The real explanation is simpler than that I would suggest.
The Mercedes team does not seem as cohesive as it did at the beginning of the year when Lewis Hamilton arrived and everyone was waiting with baited breath to see what England’s white hope could do with the German funded silver arrows team. Now that he has been running behind team mate Nico Rosberg for the last few races, he has even admitted that “Clearly with Nico’s result the car’s better than what I’m able to bring home with it,” he is quoted as saying by Autosport. With Ross Brawn reputedly on the way out, Mercedes does seem to have made some strange decisions recently. If nothing else, Rosberg did come third, but as usual the TV cameras didn’t manage to pick him up during the close to two hour yawn-fest. Perhaps the director fell asleep like the chap at the next table by lap 26.
The Ferrari tussle was perhaps the more interesting part of the race. The unloved by Ferrari, Felipe Massa, outqualified Alonso again and could comfortably stay ahead of his Spanish team mate, so the pit wall could not repeat the famous “Fernando is faster than you,” directive. So they used their trump card and called him in for new tyres. You’ve got to feel sorry for the diminutive Brazilian.
As for the rest of the drivers, Grosjean (“Lotus”), Hulkenberg (Sauber), DiResta (FIndia) and Perez (McLaren) drove well, but that was not enough to brighten up a deadly dull race. Sorry.
