Grapevine is taking a break this issue from commenting on the goings-on in what used to be called Sin City. Instead, as light relief, here are some notices found on Church hoardings in the USA.
Knox Presbyterian Church
Cremation is your last chance for a smoking hot body.
St Mark’s Anglican Church
Adam and Eve were the first people not to read the Apple terms and conditions.
Central Baptist Church
Forgive your Enemies – It messes with their heads.
St Louis Worshippers
Love is Grand. Divorce is Twenty Grand.
Rimini Church
The fact that there’s a a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
Wesley Chapel
Be the kind person your pet thinks you are.
Fairfax Worshippers
With all this rain we need an ark but fear not because we Noah guy.
Holy Cross Believers
Catch Up and Ketchup with Jesus. Lettuce praise and relish. Cos He loves me from my head to-ma-toes.
United Church
Tweet others as you would like to be tweeted.
Church of God
Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet him.
Church of the Lord
Please note that the Fasting and Prayer Conference does include Meals.
Wexford Hope
Don’t let worry kill you, let the Church help.
Queen’s Chapel
Ladies. Don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth having around. Bring your husband.
Believers’ Chapel
The sermon this morning is “Jesus Walks on Water”. The sermon this evening is “Searching for Jesus.”
St Mary’s Choir
The low-esteem support group will meet Thursday at 7 pm. Please use the back door.
Wesley Chapel Maryland
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
Together Chapel Denver
The vicar will preach his farewell message after which we will all sing Break Forth into Joy.
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