What to do with Mum?

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Dear Hillary,

My mother is coming over for a holiday from the UK.  My problem is simply where should I take her?  It has been 9 months since I was over to home last.  I certainly don’t want to take her to South Pattaya because she might get the wrong idea of what I do with my spare time here.  I am also a little worried at how I explain the fact that the girls outside some of the bars I drink at wave to me as I drive by.  I am considering having to change the route I drive home when I have Mother in the car.  I have even thought about renting one while she’s here, one that the girls don’t know me in.  What should I do?

Sam.

 

Dear Sam,

Let’s be truthful here.  You are more worried that your Mum will get the right idea about what you do in your spare time!  But relax, there are plenty of places you can take your Mum in Pattaya – you don’t have to line her up for Grannies-a-go-go you know.  South Pattaya has also some of the best seafood restaurants around and an Italian one as well (Don Joe – one of my favorites)!  Mum will love the Tiffany Shows – everyone does.  Look up the restaurant guide in the Pattaya Mail if you don’t know where to go, but do take her to some local Thai places as well.  Finally, don’t worry about your favorite bar.  If the girls like you, they will really make a fuss over Mum.  Anyway, I am sure your Mum knows what you’re like by now!  Relax and enjoy having her here, you randy soul, you.