Original Dream Teamer Jack Levy scored 53 Stableford points to win the 3rd annual Hoser Memorial Golf Tournament, this year played at Plutaluang Golf Course on Friday, May 2. Fifty-three points might sound like a lot, and indeed it is, but to reach such a lofty score one must certainly work for it. In this case, for this tournament, that means much bending at the elbow.
In the first 2 tournaments, a modified Stableford system was used. Each player would start out with a 0 handicap, and for each drink consumed, be that beer or liquor, 1 stroke would be added to the player’s handicap. That proved to be an extra advantage for low handicap golfers, so this year the format was changed slightly to try and even the field. Obviously it worked.
Tournament organizer Matt Millar (right) congratulates tournament champion Jack Levy (left).
For the 3rd annual Hoser Memorial, each player stated his non-alcoholic handicap, and for each alcoholic beverage consumed on the course, 1 stroke was added to determine the player’s final handicap. And for sure this year, drinks were selling like pancakes.
Jack Levy started with a 36 handicap, and somehow managed to consume 19 beverages on the course, and still had 2 pars and 2 bogies. This all added up to his lofty 53 points.
Oh no! It’s a toosami!
Last year’s winner, Mike “Dabber” Dabanovich, finished runner-up with 45 points off his original 12 handicap and 17 beverages, for a combined handicap of 29.
Third place went to perennial highest drinks handicapper, Patrick Asklund, who scored 43 points off his regular 26 handicap and 23 drinks, for a “respectable” 49 handicap. After the tournament was over, Patrick declined to comment, and even declined food, and if one listened close enough, one might have heard Hoser somewhere saying that Fido must be glad this doesn’t happen on a daily basic.
(L to R) Matt Millar, Mike Dabanovich, Paul Ovens and Patrick Asklund, still standing after a grueling round of golf.
Wayne Ogonoski and Gordon McKnight did a commendable job driving the beer cart around the course, making sure everyone’s handicaps continued to rise. And although there was no toosami in the Gulf this year, there was certainly one in Golf when, fresh from refilling the beer cart with beer and ice, gravity reared its ugly head, pulling the cooler off the back of the cart on a steep hill, spilling all its contents.
Shawn “Hoser” Field – we miss you buddy.
All golfers were generously invited to stop by Paul Oven’s home on the way back into town for a taste of single malt Scotch. About half the field took him up on the offer – thanks Spot.
Holiday traffic was stop and go most of the way back into town, but eventually everyone made it back for the awards presentation at the Haven for delicious food, even more beverages, and the now-famous Hoser shakes. Thanks to Stephen and Lamyai.
Matt Millar, who once again organized a great day out (Thanks Matt) stood for photos with the winner as Wayne Ogonoski announced the results (Well done Wayne).
The final stop on the journey was a migration to TQ on Beach Road, where Woody had donated a bottle of vodka to the winner (Thank you Woody). The bottle was duly consumed on the spot. By this time, it is unknown whether Hooter and the Blowflies were being played on the sound system, or whether any Italian questions (intelligent questions) were being asked, but I hear there was some kind of talk about the Jersey Highway.
(Ed’s note: please don’t adjust your sets, as the above write-up contains a number of Hoserisms, given that Hoser was the master of malapropisms.)
Trees? What trees?
Jack Levy shows off the form that won him the tournament.
Just hit the one in the middle!
(L to R) Gordon, Alex, John, Jack, Dan and caddy Aoi pause for the cause.
