Dying is a grave affair and not getting any cheaper in Pattaya. The myth persists that you can cremate a friend or loved one for around 20,000 baht (US$570) and that the main factor is which temple you choose. Whilst it is true that the further you move from central Pattaya the cheaper they come, my recent experience as the person authorized-by-the-relatives-in-UK has revealed that the actual costs are distributed much more diffusely. It was quite an undertaking.
If you die, or nearly, at home or in the street, you will likely be taken to a hospital. Each of which in both the private and public sector has its own ferrying ambulance service. Separately, at least one private hospital has a mobile intensive care unit whose costs may leave you staggered. My case involved the volunteer Sawangboriboon Foundation taking the deceased to one of the smaller hospitals where doctors worked frantically on cardiopulmonary resuscitation to try and revive a patient who (it seemed to me) had already shuffled off this mortal coil. This “service” cost 19,000 baht (US$540).
The local police, as is their wont, then appeared and explained that all deaths require an autopsy unless the patient dies in hospital as an in-patient with a full history of treatment. They also suggested that city hall would issue the death certificate. That’s true, but only after the autopsy I found out later. Sawangboriboon offered to make the arrangements to take the body to the Institute of Forensic Medicine (the morgue), part of the sprawling police headquarters at Rama IV, Bangkok. The transportation cost was a very reasonable 2,000 baht (US$60).
Next on the list comes a visit to the embassy in Bangkok to collect an authorization letter to be shown at the Institute. You will certainly need your original passport and that of the deceased, not copies. On arrival at the morgue, it was disconcerting to see that the queue “to visit a dead body” was 50 strong in front of me, mostly the next of kin of Thai road accident victims. There are, of course, ways to shorten the waiting time from several hours to about 40 minutes which can be best left to your imagination. You will be issued with the autopsy report which may contain scant information other than “respiratory failure and circulatory problems”. The cost here was 5,000 baht (US$140) inclusive of a preserving injection to delay decomposition and rental costs in the refrigerator. Not expensive, as it’s the official state rate for Thais and foreigners alike.
You will likely be offered by mortuary staff a one-stop service to provide a shroud and coffin, to deliver the body to the temple of choice in Pattaya and provide the all-important death certificate from City Hall. There is also a requirement to obtain a clearance letter from the local police that there is no evidence of a crime connected to the fatality. As you will probably be as exhausted as I was by this time, you will almost certainly agree to the one-stop-shop notion which is truly efficient. The inclusive charge was 9,500 baht (US$270).
The temple authorities (you have an enormous choice in and around Pattaya) charged 24,500 baht (US$700) which included preparing the body, providing a simple ceremony to note the passing of an individual before his or her reincarnation and the actual cremation which is officially known as hygienic disposal. You may also need to purchase incidentals such as fresh flowers, the services of coffin bearers at the actual service, even makeup. The mortician, I was told, is the last person to put a smile on your face. If you include your personal travel expenses (one or two trips to Bangkok), the total is another and final 10,000 baht (US$285) at least.
Leaving aside wills (known here as “dead giveaways” although my case involved a person who died intestate) and distribution of the estate, the total cost of the cremation was around 70,000 baht or about US$2,000. You may think you could do it cheaper or use a Thai to delegate the whole thing by power of attorney. But Thai colleagues told me that wouldn’t have made much difference. In a resort such as Pattaya, dying is a commercial business like any other. Especially if you are a farang.
