Ever since taking over the MINI marque, BMW has been trying every trick in the book to make the public nostalgic hearkening back to Issigonis’ ground-breaking concept of the original small Mini with a wheel at each corner, front wheel drive and a transverse engine layout.
However, for me, any connection to the original Mini was lost as soon as BMW insisted that the marque be known as the MINI (all caps). The last straw is the size of these vehicles. Make no mistake, they are no longer small cars.
New MINI
The body of the new MINI is 3,821 mm long (MINI Cooper S is 3,850 mm), 1,727 mm wide and 1,414 mm tall. This makes it 98 mm longer, 44 mm wider and 7 mm taller than its predecessor. The wheelbase has been extended by 28 mm, while the track width has been enlarged at the front by 42 mm and at the rear by 34 mm. As I said, there is nothing “mini” about this car.
BMW wax lyrical with press releases stating, “Even though the new MINI is instantly recognizable – something which comes from having such a globally identifiable design – the car is completely new from the ground up. Every component has been back to the drawing board in an effort to optimize its function, performance and style.
“The result is ‘The New Original’, a MINI which is distinctly familiar but enhanced in every single way. It features significant improvements in technology, engine efficiency and power delivery, driving dynamics, quality and – of course – personalization. Inside, the new MINI Hatch is quieter than the outgoing model, with improvements to acoustic refinement inside the cabin.” “New Original” they say. What nonsense. Alec Issigonis is revolving in his grave over that piece of PR-speak.
BMW beats the drum with the following: “Exterior: unmistakable design, contemporary style. Behind the changes, the new car has classic MINI proportions and an instantly familiar design that’s packed with character. Traditional cues such as the hexagonal contour of the radiator grille, circular headlights, ‘side scuttle’ indicator surrounds, upright rear light clusters and black lower body edging have all been subtly reinterpreted.”
But it doesn’t end there with “Personalization: more of what people love. MINI pioneered the concept of automotive personalization and that spirit of individuality continues with the new Hatch. The list of interior and exterior customizable components, and the options for them, is extensive. Most popular are expected to be a John Cooper Works rear spoiler, various decorative trims for roof, exterior mirrors, bonnet, seat upholstery, interior surfaces and new Color Lines.” Think back to the original Mini – about all you could get were bumperettes and you could spray the roof a different color and put some ‘go-faster’ stripes down the bonnet. That “spirit of individuality” came just from owning a Mini. A roof mounted rear spoiler would have been laughed at. As this one should be also.
Remember the dinky little 10 inch wheels on the original Mini? Don’t expect that today. “The new MINI Cooper Hatch and MINI Cooper D Hatch ride on 15 inch forged light alloy wheels, which have low weight and excellent aerodynamics. The MINI Cooper S Hatch is fitted with 16 inch light alloy wheels as standard. Rims up to 18 inches in diameter are available as optional extras.”
I will acknowledge that this is 2013 and technology has progressed, and the new MINI incorporates this. “Inside the cabin, new technology ensures that the new MINI is the most connected car in its segment. A new LED display concept, the first of its kind, provides the driver with visual feedback whilst operating the car and creates a premium ambience. It reflects a maturity and confidence in the brand’s design and engineering, a car which pays tribute to its unique British heritage yet stands ready to lead MINI into the second half of the decade and beyond.”
I’m sorry, but telling me that MINI is “a car which pays tribute to its unique British heritage,” is really too much for me to swallow. I’m sure it will be great to drive, will turn heads and give the owner pleasure. But the MINI isn’t a Mini by any stretch of the imagination.
