Having opened Thai Tasty, a Thai restaurant in Brisbane, Australia, and having found an importer of things Thai, a Tuk-Tuk was ordered. This was going to be the answer, I was sure. A brand new and reliable Tuk-Tuk for Thai Tasty deliveries.
Like all the best laid plans of mice and men (though I am not convinced that mice plan anything), I had forgotten one important factor – the Australian government’s vehicle registration regulations. The regulations did not cover Tuk-Tuks, so my delivery vehicle couldn’t be registered. The initial negative response was followed by around six months of negotiations where government engineers put forward suggestions to make the Tuk-Tuk more likely to be registered Down-under.
The first modification was to fit a front brake, and this was fairly simple to do, using a motorcycle disc brake and caliper. Next was the requirement to raise the roof by 5 cm. I have no idea why, but maybe they were working on the principle that Aussies are taller than Thais, so more head room was necessary. This was done easily and we were looking good. A provisional registration plate was issued and my now “legal” Tuk-Tuk was delivered to the restaurant.
I could hardly wait. I leaped aboard, fired it up and roared off, gripping the motorcycle style handlebars. At the first corner I turned the handlebars and nothing happened. We were heading straight for the safety fencing! I grabbed for the front brake to slow it down and it immediately tipped up on two wheels. I could see a large crash was imminent. Somehow, Somchai the Patron Saint of Tuk-Tuk drivers looked down and got the vehicle back on three wheels and slow enough to make the corner. I gulped and began to see why being a Tuk-Tuk jockey was a career reserved for Thais. It did not respond to western wisdom. In fact the greatest wisdom was to get off the thing.
I did remount and learned to drive/ride a little slower and not to apply the front brake in the corners, but then thought that perhaps the Thai manufacturers were not silly by having only rear brakes. However, using the front brake in the middle of the corner and going up onto two wheels became my party trick, especially late at night when I would give the last diners the ride of their lives.
My chef would also ask to be taken round the block, sitting proudly in the back with his arms folded. I asked him why he wanted this, as he must have ridden in Tuk-Tuks many times in Bangkok. “Ah yes,” he replied, “but I never had a farang (foreigner) driver before!”
